Any child free peeps on MFP?
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Most likely won't have any human kiddos but do feel some guilt for not providing grandchildren. I'm open to my life and wishes changing, though. I don't think I'll ever want to actually create children, but if children end up in my future, I'd be happy to foster or adopt.
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Married 21 years - we met in our early 20s.
I've always felt that there are already too many people on the planet, and, being an atheist, I don't believe I'll spend eternity watching the lives of my descendants from a cloudy paradise after I'm gone.
We decided we didn't want to be young parents, but maybe "someday" we'd have kids. Then as our 30s went by, and all of our friends started banging kids out, we realized we really had no desire to have one. Or any.
Now in our early 40s, we might have a regret or two about not having them. For example, I feel pretty bad for my parents not getting grandkids. They tell me over & over that they're OK with it, but I still feel a little guilty. However, that's no reason to have kids!
And the regrets don't really outweigh the benefits, in my personal opinion. The incredible pets we have (& have had), our savings accounts, vacations, our RV (yessss!), investments we've made, etc. We have friends & family that consider us selfish, and I suppose we are.
But we're pretty damn happy!0 -
I guess I lucked out because my parents have 3 AMAZING grandchildren from my brother. I understand my mom would have liked to have grandkids from her only daughter but like Mr Bungle said, not a great reason to have them.
And as for my in-laws - feel kind of bad for them. Two sons and no grandchildren. Though I might add that if we did have children, they wouldn't be able to take advantage quite so much as they are in England. So it still wouldn't have worked out.
Regardless, I don't have children not because I don't like them but because I like my life the way it is. And I'd be a terrible mom - no maternal instinct whatsoever. I mean, we just got a new puppy and I'm scared to death that we are going to raise her to be a barking, whiny lunatic. I hope that's not the case
And to the great parents of the world (my brother and sister-in-law included), especially working parents, KUDOS for your hard work.0 -
Great thread - thanks for starting this. I had no idea there were so many like minded folks out there. I am currently surrounded by friends and family who are actively, purposely, procreating. I have to keep making younger friends to avoid baby prattle.0
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Great thread - thanks for starting this. I had no idea there were so many like minded folks out there. I am currently surrounded by friends and family who are actively, purposely, procreating. I have to keep making younger friends to avoid baby prattle.
I don't know where you live, but I know in NJ and PA there are childfree groups. There's one called No Kidding, which I think spans an area if not all of the US with local chapters. If you have access to MeetUp, that site might have a childfree group, or you could start one of your own. I started a MeetUp group a couple of years ago for couples that were 30+. We have a great core group of members who get together for hikes, dinners, happy hours, etc., and more stuff seems to happen outside of the official group than through the group.0 -
i don't go around turning my nose up at those who choose to reproduce (ok, a little: you have 4 kids? great: how many are adopted/fostered?? oh, you're just making more? :smh:). i know that i am in the minority. i know that reproducing is a basic human drive that is incredibly instinctual and fundamental to the human experience. not wanting to reproduce makes me the weird one. i'm okay with that. i'm weird for a lot of other reasons too, so i'm accustomed to the feeling. i also know that humans tend toward uncharitable judgment on things they don't understand, and weird minority incliniations are generally not well understood. i expect to get flak for not following the status quo, and i'm okay with that. humans are goofy critters.
Are you kidding me? These aren't pets we're talking about here.
1 adult + 1 adult = 2 people. you may make 2 people to replace those when they inevitably wear out. need more people in your family? adopt and/or foster. 2 ppl making >2 ppl is selfish when parentless children continue to suffer and the world is running of clean air and water. IMHO.
So you don't want people judging you for not wanting to reproduce, but you're judging others for choosing to have biological children over fostering or adoption. They're not the same. Not even a little. When it comes to adoption and fostering, adopting an infant is the closest thing to having a biological child but they're still not at all the same. It costs thousands and thousands of dollars, can require leaving the country multiple times, additional money for prenatal care depending on the situation, and possible heartbreak if the birth mother changes her mind or things fall through for some other reason.
Adopting or fostering a child isn't even in the same ballpark. You're talking about kids who have been abused, neglected, disappointed, and often act out because of it. No one wanting to be a parent hopes that their kids will grow up to be emotionally stunted and require intensive therapy to be a functional person. If you raise a child who requires it, of course you'll provide that and help them in whatever way you can, but no one intentionally raises a child that way. To suggest that it's selfish for people to have more than 2 kids rather than adopt or foster a child is completely absurd. Just as absurd as suggesting that someone who is "childfree" is selfish for not reproducing, or not fostering, or not adopting. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood and even less are cut out for fostering or adopting a child (not a baby), which is unfortunately why so many fostered kids have such a hard time.0 -
No children for this college girl!0
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Child free fo life!
I am actually just going to collect pet rabbits forever haha
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i don't go around turning my nose up at those who choose to reproduce (ok, a little: you have 4 kids? great: how many are adopted/fostered?? oh, you're just making more? :smh:). i know that i am in the minority. i know that reproducing is a basic human drive that is incredibly instinctual and fundamental to the human experience. not wanting to reproduce makes me the weird one. i'm okay with that. i'm weird for a lot of other reasons too, so i'm accustomed to the feeling. i also know that humans tend toward uncharitable judgment on things they don't understand, and weird minority incliniations are generally not well understood. i expect to get flak for not following the status quo, and i'm okay with that. humans are goofy critters.
Are you kidding me? These aren't pets we're talking about here.
1 adult + 1 adult = 2 people. you may make 2 people to replace those when they inevitably wear out. need more people in your family? adopt and/or foster. 2 ppl making >2 ppl is selfish when parentless children continue to suffer and the world is running of clean air and water. IMHO.
So you don't want people judging you for not wanting to reproduce, but you're judging others for choosing to have biological children over fostering or adoption. They're not the same. Not even a little. When it comes to adoption and fostering, adopting an infant is the closest thing to having a biological child but they're still not at all the same. It costs thousands and thousands of dollars, can require leaving the country multiple times, additional money for prenatal care depending on the situation, and possible heartbreak if the birth mother changes her mind or things fall through for some other reason.
Adopting or fostering a child isn't even in the same ballpark. You're talking about kids who have been abused, neglected, disappointed, and often act out because of it. No one wanting to be a parent hopes that their kids will grow up to be emotionally stunted and require intensive therapy to be a functional person. If you raise a child who requires it, of course you'll provide that and help them in whatever way you can, but no one intentionally raises a child that way. To suggest that it's selfish for people to have more than 2 kids rather than adopt or foster a child is completely absurd. Just as absurd as suggesting that someone who is "childfree" is selfish for not reproducing, or not fostering, or not adopting. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood and even less are cut out for fostering or adopting a child (not a baby), which is unfortunately why so many fostered kids have such a hard time.
My older sister is adopted and she is a train wreck. I am happy with the two kids I have and the swimmers are out of the pool, but if I chosen to have more, there is ZERO chance I would ever adopted or fostered. My personal experience with adoption is such that I would not want to risk a repeat of the same thing. And yes, I am well aware that biological children can be train wrecks as well, but at least I would know their genetics and everything they have been through from the day they were born.
Get off your hypocritical high horse mank32.0 -
I plan on having 7.0
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I planned on being child free by choice, but then it just happened. I was young. But I'm glad I was young because now I'm 36 and almost empty nesting, it's nice to have a house sitter/pet sitter when I go on vacation without having to hire one! lol
I tell him all the time I had him just so I would have a free maid now that he is a teenager. (half joking)
My boyfriend is strictly child free by choice, thinks babies are horrible parasites and the world is far too overpopulated and hopes for a massive catastrophe that leaves a clean slate, just the animals to inherit the planet.
So your boyfriend hopes that you, him, your son, and everyone you know and love dies a horrific death?
I wonder what a psychologist would say that that tells us about him? And what it tells us about anyone who would choose to be with him knowing that about him, and to expose their impressionable teenage child to him?
I feel bad for your son
I think her boyfriend is probably referring to something like the biblical flood. Sometimes I think this planet needs a fresh start as well.
"leaves a clean slate, just the animals to inherit the planet. " <--- Think that is pretty clear and not at all what the bible says. Boyfriend doesn't seem to be referencing the bible or anything like it at all, just hoping for massive widespread death and destruction that leaves no humans. At least based on OPs paraphrasing.
I just reread her comment and she didn't say it like that. And I was referencing the flood as an example. Quit being a douche.
Haha, ok... guess she didn't say the exact words I quoted and bolded... guess the words themselves don't mean what the dictionary says they do....... that or maybe I just struck a nerve pointing out the implications of such statements since you responded that you "think this planet needs a fresh start as well. ".0 -
Great thread - thanks for starting this. I had no idea there were so many like minded folks out there. I am currently surrounded by friends and family who are actively, purposely, procreating. I have to keep making younger friends to avoid baby prattle.
I don't know where you live, but I know in NJ and PA there are childfree groups. There's one called No Kidding, which I think spans an area if not all of the US with local chapters. If you have access to MeetUp, that site might have a childfree group, or you could start one of your own. I started a MeetUp group a couple of years ago for couples that were 30+. We have a great core group of members who get together for hikes, dinners, happy hours, etc., and more stuff seems to happen outside of the official group than through the group.
Thanks for the tip! I'm in Chicago, and just looked some up on Meet Up.0 -
Someone once told me that children are like "farts".
Other peoples are disgusting and you want to stay away from them...far away.
Your own are not that bad.0 -
I'm child-free, 36, and happily married. I used to think I wanted children but once it became a real prospect, I panicked and couldn't get back on the pill fast enough.
I have one kitty and am fostering a pregnant cat for a local rescue. I like to think I do have maternal urges, just towards kittens rather than babies.
Also lots of addiction and mental illness in my family. I think it's better than my line ends with me.
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Engaged and happily childfree. I kind of like some kids - but then again, I kind of like some llamas too. It doesn't mean I want to own one and be responsible for it.0
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No kiddies. I'm 67 and never wanted kids. I write a blog about childfree women. You can read it at http://www.audacious-aging.coom0
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Great thread - thanks for starting this. I had no idea there were so many like minded folks out there. I am currently surrounded by friends and family who are actively, purposely, procreating. I have to keep making younger friends to avoid baby prattle.
I don't know where you live, but I know in NJ and PA there are childfree groups. There's one called No Kidding, which I think spans an area if not all of the US with local chapters. If you have access to MeetUp, that site might have a childfree group, or you could start one of your own. I started a MeetUp group a couple of years ago for couples that were 30+. We have a great core group of members who get together for hikes, dinners, happy hours, etc., and more stuff seems to happen outside of the official group than through the group.
Thanks for the tip! I'm in Chicago, and just looked some up on Meet Up.
I just joined a meet-up in manhattan for childfree people.
How about making friends with older peeps who have already decided to be childfree?0 -
No kids but I do love my niece and nephew!0
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Great thread - thanks for starting this. I had no idea there were so many like minded folks out there. I am currently surrounded by friends and family who are actively, purposely, procreating. I have to keep making younger friends to avoid baby prattle.
I don't know where you live, but I know in NJ and PA there are childfree groups. There's one called No Kidding, which I think spans an area if not all of the US with local chapters. If you have access to MeetUp, that site might have a childfree group, or you could start one of your own. I started a MeetUp group a couple of years ago for couples that were 30+. We have a great core group of members who get together for hikes, dinners, happy hours, etc., and more stuff seems to happen outside of the official group than through the group.
Thanks for the tip! I'm in Chicago, and just looked some up on Meet Up.
I just joined a meet-up in manhattan for childfree people.
How about making friends with older peeps who have already decided to be childfree?
I don't know any currently I don't care about age at all, but I'm friends with very few child free people these days. I saw some promising groups on Meet Up though, so there's hope! 0 -
i don't go around turning my nose up at those who choose to reproduce (ok, a little: you have 4 kids? great: how many are adopted/fostered?? oh, you're just making more? :smh:). i know that i am in the minority. i know that reproducing is a basic human drive that is incredibly instinctual and fundamental to the human experience. not wanting to reproduce makes me the weird one. i'm okay with that. i'm weird for a lot of other reasons too, so i'm accustomed to the feeling. i also know that humans tend toward uncharitable judgment on things they don't understand, and weird minority incliniations are generally not well understood. i expect to get flak for not following the status quo, and i'm okay with that. humans are goofy critters.
Are you kidding me? These aren't pets we're talking about here.
1 adult + 1 adult = 2 people. you may make 2 people to replace those when they inevitably wear out. need more people in your family? adopt and/or foster. 2 ppl making >2 ppl is selfish when parentless children continue to suffer and the world is running of clean air and water. IMHO.
So you don't want people judging you for not wanting to reproduce, but you're judging others for choosing to have biological children over fostering or adoption. They're not the same. Not even a little. When it comes to adoption and fostering, adopting an infant is the closest thing to having a biological child but they're still not at all the same. It costs thousands and thousands of dollars, can require leaving the country multiple times, additional money for prenatal care depending on the situation, and possible heartbreak if the birth mother changes her mind or things fall through for some other reason.
Adopting or fostering a child isn't even in the same ballpark. You're talking about kids who have been abused, neglected, disappointed, and often act out because of it. No one wanting to be a parent hopes that their kids will grow up to be emotionally stunted and require intensive therapy to be a functional person. If you raise a child who requires it, of course you'll provide that and help them in whatever way you can, but no one intentionally raises a child that way. To suggest that it's selfish for people to have more than 2 kids rather than adopt or foster a child is completely absurd. Just as absurd as suggesting that someone who is "childfree" is selfish for not reproducing, or not fostering, or not adopting. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood and even less are cut out for fostering or adopting a child (not a baby), which is unfortunately why so many fostered kids have such a hard time.
My parents actually adopted a girl who, by age 2 when we adopted her, had been sexually abused, physically abused, neglected, etc. Unfortunately she turned out to be a mess. And that wreaked havoc on the rest of the family (there were already 3 of us kids) and took its toll on my mom, who was a stay-at-home mom. After this sister tried to kill my other 2 siblings, my mom started sleeping on the hallway floor at night where we 3 had our bedrooms (that sister had her own room and bathroom by the playroom on the other side of the house - which was supposed to be my room cuz I was the oldest). Anyway, I will NEVER adopt because of that. That, and I don't want kids.1
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