rejected by online soulmate b/c of weight

The OP said......."Yes in my follow up posts I mention that I was probably delusional and not coming to terms about how I looked so I weaved a fantasy. "


ValGogo is saying...."Girlfriend, it's not your looks!!! Start to understand that now, NOW that you are only 27."

I spent so many years telling myself that and now, at 46, I know I am flipping REALLY nice looking, but now I'm a little older with more laugh lines but more wisdom too. SO, I have to deal with that and just keeep working out with what I have and be the best person I can be NOW.

"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.

Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."

Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.

OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.

What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".

My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.

Just a theory though.

respectfully this is such a stereotypical take it cracks me up. no no no no no... I had an ex that would mindtease me for two months after a 4year thing, and guess what... it was MY FAULT for even answering back... forget that, she should not be in any contact at all because I have been were the guy has been.. had this freak of nature with rotting teeth on a date and of course all her pics were ubber hot, and then this thing smiles and I wanted to bolt.. instead I told her respectfully I needed to leave... (a guy has to keep his lunch down) and she started to cry and sob... next thing you know this chick is blowing up my phone like a nut and saying she was going to off herself... so I kept talking just like this guy being nice and considerate...

no its the chicks responsibility if he declined her to quit talking, and if the dude is prompting the convo then he really is a scum bag and should certainly be ignored..

and as I said... ummm with tinder you can date anyone you want in any city you want whenever you want... its easy, its timely, its fast, its fun, its witty.. use the app and get happy and get dating!



and last bit of advice.. the only time ever feel hesitant about making the decision to move on with a chick is on the random chance encounter after I ignore her for a few days I notice the girl is ignoring me as well - it is only and only then that you would have a chance at getting him to come back.. but even then I'd say in this case its over over over so run run run away.

I mean, with a nice guy like you out there, who wouldn't want to get on the Tinder saddle?

when i'm the saddle... lots of ladies here would babe.

lmao, your the exact example of a chick over Tinder that I would have absolutely zero ulterior motives with, but manage to be witty enough for me to be friends with... its just a different type of entertainment factor.

thanks for the example!!

lol what the hell?

I'm pretty sure I just got friend-zoned.

devastating, no?

It's just....I thought it was meant to be. He's so charming.

and humble.

Please... this is going to start going straight to my head..

the little one or the big one?

Will you be my friend?

There is an application and hazing.

I spent so many years telling myself that and now, at 46, I know I am flipping REALLY nice looking, but now I'm a little older with more laugh lines but more wisdom too. SO, I have to deal with that and just keeep working out with what I have and be the best person I can be NOW.

I spent so many years telling myself that and now, at 46, I know I am flipping REALLY nice looking, but now I'm a little older with more laugh lines but more wisdom too. SO, I have to deal with that and just keeep working out with what I have and be the best person I can be NOW.

I'm a year older than you and I spent a LOT of years going about dating wrong, being insecure, and thinking I needed a guy to be happy before I finally "got it". It's amazing what time and wisdom will do for ya!

Testify Sistah! (raises hands and praises Jeebus)

lmao.. I'm sure.. but for the pleasure I've graced some women with Tinder should be throwing some money at me for pimping me out.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it is YOU who are pimping yourself out. Also, it seems a bit conceited of you to think you are "God's gift to women" (reading between the lines of your posts). You may have wined and dined and bedded many women but that is not what a real relationship is made of. It takes a very shallow and possibly fake person who has an over-inflated view of himself (or no real self-esteem that he is trying to cover up) to use women that way for your own satisfaction. Just sayin'

I'd say all of your observations are correct! bedded many women though?. .. nha I only let girlfriends get the d.. the other girls only get to give me dome. ;bbbbbbb

lmao.. In all honestly real relationships are awesome! And the day I sit across the table on a first date with the women who finally has the wow factor, then I'd totally embrace that.. till then I got to play the game.

..tonight its a little cutie from Brazil thats only been in the states 2 months, so cross your fingers for me cause mine will all be straight ;PPPPPPPP

i really am old. I don't understand half of what you write.

Will you be my friend?

There is an application and hazing.

Will the hazing involve me or you being in the nude?

(fingers crossed)

lmao.. I'm sure.. but for the pleasure I've graced some women with Tinder should be throwing some money at me for pimping me out.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it is YOU who are pimping yourself out. Also, it seems a bit conceited of you to think you are "God's gift to women" (reading between the lines of your posts). You may have wined and dined and bedded many women but that is not what a real relationship is made of. It takes a very shallow and possibly fake person who has an over-inflated view of himself (or no real self-esteem that he is trying to cover up) to use women that way for your own satisfaction. Just sayin'

I'd say all of your observations are correct! bedded many women though?. .. nha I only let girlfriends get the d.. the other girls only get to give me dome. ;bbbbbbb

lmao.. In all honestly real relationships are awesome! And the day I sit across the table on a first date with the women who finally has the wow factor, then I'd totally embrace that.. till then I got to play the game.

..tonight its a little cutie from Brazil thats only been in the states 2 months, so cross your fingers for me cause mine will all be straight ;PPPPPPPP

i really am old. I don't understand half of what you write.

dome = head
wow factor = not having to be coaxed into anal or bondage
cutie from Brazil = a girl I am going to date tonight that recently got here from america and is hotness personified - at least in the pics ;PP
fingers straight= lets deduce why would my fingers need to be straight?


-lol jk on the wow factor

just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.

If a guy took three days to contact me after I gave him my number, I was assume he's a big pu$$y and that would be the end of that.

lmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.

Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.