To all the MFP meanies/bullies

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Replies

  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    :flowerforyou: Well said.

    Someone sent me a PM a while ago, because they weren't sure how to interpret something I had said. We sorted it out, I had perhaps been unclear and they had perhaps misunderstood something, but all in all it was such a nice way of handling a potential conflict. Both parties were calm and straight forward about the matter, it was solved within minutes and I can't even remember said person's name anymore, only that they behaved like a good person. It took guts to send that PM and I respect that very much. None of that chewing on stuff forever, walking around blaming the general you or any other silliness.

    This me too. On one occasion someone thought I said something, someone else thought I didn't. Two or three quick PM's cleared the whole thing up. Not that hard.
  • AnnaChanges
    AnnaChanges Posts: 109 Member
    Well if you stumble across a stupid question and you're not willing to give a nice helping answer then don't answer it at all. There are other people who will help the new users. Meanness can make sensitive people leave this site and go on with their bad habits regarding eating/not exercising. So if you're not in to help in a nice way, move on to the spank/kiss threads.

    That's not necessarily true. A lot of threads go unanswered or are answered by people who don't know what they're talking about. Without those meanies giving out factual information in a non-sugar-coaty way there would be far more misinformation around here.

    I don't think she means if you are mean don't answer a question. But if it is just pure sarcasm of the person or question asked with no information or help given whether said in a nice or tough way then don't bother commenting. I agree that some people especially beginners who are not used to gifs and sarcasm won't be able to understand where they went wrong and would just leave.

    I personally would say if your answer is helpful whether said in a mean or nice way say it but if you want to make fun of the person posting then don't.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    oh god, again?

    I see you didn't read my post, but thank you for contributing.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Well if you stumble across a stupid question and you're not willing to give a nice helping answer then don't answer it at all. There are other people who will help the new users. Meanness can make sensitive people leave this site and go on with their bad habits regarding eating/not exercising. So if you're not in to help in a nice way, move on to the spank/kiss threads.
    Would you rather no reply than one you found to be harsh?

    Being coddled, misinformed and patted on the back for doing really pointless/stupid stuff is a reason a lot of people end up here. IMO, better that the facts and realities are laid down early.
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    Well if you stumble across a stupid question and you're not willing to give a nice helping answer then don't answer it at all. There are other people who will help the new users. Meanness can make sensitive people leave this site and go on with their bad habits regarding eating/not exercising. So if you're not in to help in a nice way, move on to the spank/kiss threads.

    Helping and nice are not necessarily the same thing. And if someone leaves this site over the words someone they'll never meet wrote on a screen, then they aren't ready to commit to losing weight and being healthy. They can go on living with their bad habits and when they are ready to grow a backbone and listen to people who have already been there, hopefully they will return. Either way, the world ain't about unicorn farts and rainbows. Some people need to quit being OVERLY sensitive. The truth hurts and sometimes that's exactly the dose of reality we need.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Well said.

    Here's a cat gif.

    cat-is-busted.gif
  • 1saturn
    1saturn Posts: 95 Member
    Some of you are my friends and I have my moments where I act like one.

    -Sometimes people post really dumb questions.
    -Most questions have already been asked multiple times.
    -Some people post the same question once a week.

    There are many times when we give people an answer they don't like. Some people sugar coat it, some people just give the information, some people give a bit of tough love. We all have different communications styles and we all respond to the different styles in different ways. It doesn't make the information any less valid. There's also no one "right" way to deliver information (although sometimes science and references are required).

    If you are new here or you ask a question don't try to read emotion into the responses. Just because it isn't the answer you are looking for doesn't make it wrong. Sure, some people can be jerks (it is the internet). Stop taking it personally and for the love of pizza don't turn around and make a mean people thread. Ask for clarification, send a private message, or even abandon the thread and stick to asking your friends.

    To all the bullies, meanies and jerks. I know that often we get called these things when someone doesn't like what we have to say or how we deliver the information. Not really our fault. The jumping in to attack people with snark and sarcasm without offering an explanation isn't helpful (and makes you look like an *kitten*). Enough of the mob mentality. It's helpful when trying to stop the misinformation, but not helpful when it's just attacking someone personally.

    Let the hate mail and cat gifs commence.



    Well, sometimes questions seem stupid to others but it's something someone is curious about. I dunno. I think sometimes people really overestimate their expertise and forget that they actually aren't monitoring you every step of the way and that their knowledge isn't always helpful or correct. Weight loss is hugely relative and peoples bodies work in entirely different ways.
    You don't catch many trainers or dietitians being rude, sarcastic or abrupt in their answers because they know that isn't helpful to anyone. It's not motivating either.
    There's too much aggression and emotion though. People just need to take this site for what it is, a motivation and discussion forum for health and fitness. That's all... It's not that serious.
    I dunno, some people help and some people hinder.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    And since the topic is so nice, I will try to post my first celebratory image, well gif. Wish me luck!

    tumblr_mc8ogelxgQ1qltb20o1_250_zps8e45f6a4.gif
  • NahrasWay
    NahrasWay Posts: 78 Member
    funny-kitten-scared-of-a-lizard.gif

    I can't stop laughing. It hurts.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Well if you stumble across a stupid question and you're not willing to give a nice helping answer then don't answer it at all. There are other people who will help the new users. Meanness can make sensitive people leave this site and go on with their bad habits regarding eating/not exercising. So if you're not in to help in a nice way, move on to the spank/kiss threads.

    There are some people who just give tough love. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Being nice isn't a requirement for being helpful and being nice isn't always helpful. Sometimes giving an answer that doesn't seem nice is more helpful than just being nice.

    ^this. And if directness or non-sugar coated answers make someone leave the site and go back to his/her bad habits, then he/she more than likely wouldn't have succeeded in keeping the weight off anyway.
  • rollng_thundr
    rollng_thundr Posts: 634 Member
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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Well, I don't know really what exactly a "hate mail" is or how to do one, but here's a cat gif....or two.

    When you do band together make sure it's to follow somebody up...

    9f2ae439jw1e4ra5btl3ig20b408c4q3.gif

    Not down.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQSvfVib4g6lVOrrC2YDe5tVpSH7dQjIclk9VcDlCFHIsArpQPQVQ
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    Well if you stumble across a stupid question and you're not willing to give a nice helping answer then don't answer it at all. There are other people who will help the new users. Meanness can make sensitive people leave this site and go on with their bad habits regarding eating/not exercising. So if you're not in to help in a nice way, move on to the spank/kiss threads.

    I'm a nice person, but the reality of the world is harsh and allowing someone being mean to you in a public forum to be an excuse to continue on with bad habits is insane. If people allow that to give them an excuse to continue on with bad habits, then anything you say to them good or bad/ nice or mean will most likely allow an excuse to creep into their heads.

    We all have to deal with nice people, jerks, crazy people, sweet people, buttholes, and even worse every day. This is life. Sometimes it sucks. People have to strip away the chaos in their head to eliminate all excuses...period.


    oh and kitty:
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  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    actual bullying...
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  • SEAFOODMAN
    SEAFOODMAN Posts: 342
    I don't come in here looking for advice...........the forums are a waste of time.....too many experts on this site.
  • my_transformation2014
    my_transformation2014 Posts: 19
    cat-playing-guitar-gif.gif


    How I see me and my friends when entering a thread about weightloss pills/1200 calories/nothing works

    ^^^ Made my day! :D
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    2.gif

    My favorite gif ever!
  • Illini_Jim
    Illini_Jim Posts: 419 Member
    I don't see no bullies.....

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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    2.gif

    My favorite gif ever!

    Ditto. and I never have the cojones to post it.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Bullies!? Where??
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  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member

    Well, sometimes questions seem stupid to others but it's something someone is curious about. I dunno. I think sometimes people really overestimate their expertise and forget that they actually aren't monitoring you every step of the way and that their knowledge isn't always helpful or correct. Weight loss is hugely relative and peoples bodies work in entirely different ways.
    You don't catch many trainers or dietitians being rude, sarcastic or abrupt in their answers because they know that isn't helpful to anyone. It's not motivating either.
    There's too much aggression and emotion though. People just need to take this site for what it is, a motivation and discussion forum for health and fitness. That's all... It's not that serious.
    I dunno, some people help and some people hinder.

    Those people are getting paid. They are just as rude in their heads as the "MFP bullies" are. They just don't say it out loud because they want to continue to get paid.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I don't come in here looking for advice...........the forums are a waste of time.....too many experts on this site.


    When-Creators-Insisted-WASNT-Gay-Version-Girls.gif

    and

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  • Sweetout
    Sweetout Posts: 153
    I'm just here to post cat gifs...
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  • sixout
    sixout Posts: 3,128 Member
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  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I don't come in here looking for advice...........the forums are a waste of time.....too many experts on this site.

    Yeah, too much knowledge here.

    That's the problem.

    Mmm, hmmm.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    And since the topic is so nice, I will try to post my first celebratory image, well gif. Wish me luck!

    tumblr_mc8ogelxgQ1qltb20o1_250_zps8e45f6a4.gif

    I'm really disappointed that nothing came out. Great post, D! :drinker:

    And here's my cat gif

    i_regret_nothing-64069.gif
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