Eating out is ruined for me now..

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  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
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    And yes, I'm worried about my vacations... sorry. Because 'letting go' for a week is a recipe for disaster for me. I'm worried I'll gain back the weight. It might sound easy to lose once you've lost 80 pounds, but it's still not, I've lost very slowly lately and I've been hungrier and having more cravings now than when I started, must exercise much longer to burn the same number of calories, which makes me hungrier, so cutting more food would be much harder for me now than it was a month ago.

    You all are telling me to stop stressing out over one meal, that one week won't make me gain the weight back, then that I have a bad relationship with food and will probably gain the weight back with that mindset.... Make up your mind.
    Switch to TDEE - 20% so you stop worrying about exercise calories giving you more food. Start lifting weights if you aren't already.

    And don't "let go" of anything. I have been struggling to stick to a lower calorie goal for the past 4 weeks. I'm 6 months into a deficit and I seriously need a break. So I upped myself to 2200, to see if this is maintenance for my current weight (or more than/less than). I haven't gained or lost anything, but my rings and pants are smaller. If I were to go on vacation, I'd probably set a goal of 2500 a day and just see what happened. Loosening up doesn't have to mean letting go. It's not all or nothing, or at least it shouldn't be.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    And it is people like you that is why I usually avoid forums. People have given you lots of helpful advice and suggestions and ideas. Yet there is an excuse how or why you can't do any of the suggestions.

    YOU are the one saying 'eating out is ruined for me now'. People have tried to help so you don't feel like that. YOU are the person making excuses.

    As for everyone else, I'd give up. You've all been very helpful and if it was me, I'd be eternally grateful for people taking the time and effort to try and help and advise me overcome such a fear. But I think you're all wasting your breath here.

    I think everyone in this forum can prove eating out is still possible and eating some of the 'bad foods' (hate that term) in moderation. It's about choices and control and unfortunately my friend, that is where you come in. Noone else.

    You posted just to tell the OP that you usually avoid people like her?

    Are you saying she wasn't spot-on with her analysis?

    I suppose if she had emerged from hiding with her first ever post to blast "mean people" (as has been done countless times before), that would be fine though, right?
  • turtlebeth
    turtlebeth Posts: 57 Member
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    My mom invited me out to lunch at OG last week. The plan was to go this past Wednesday. I spent the week leading up to it in total angst about what I would eat, how it would fit into my plan and how to minimize the damage. I downloaded the nutrition info for the entire menu and poured over it for days. I finally settled on a single lunch item and planned to drink my normal iced tea. Off we went to OG. Pleased with myself, I didn't even look at the menu and ordered my chosen dish. The waitress said that they do not offer that particular dish..... WHAT?!?!?!?! Now what do I do? I knoew I should have printed the whole damn nutrition thing out and brought it with me. (mental kick!)

    To hell with it, then. I looked over the lunch menu and picked something that looked good and had no sauce drowning it. I decided to not even log it until I had enjoyed eating it too. I only ate half and was miserable while chewing every mouthful.

    When I got home, with much trepidation, I logged my lunch and discovered that I had consumed an amazing 1955 calories in that one meal. Holy crap!

    Now I know how I got to be super obese. This is insane! I told my mom that I loved her but that eating out was not going to be an option for me for a while while I got my bearings on food nutrition values. I am still in early days of improving my food consumption.

    Everyone has to approach food in a way that works for them. For me, eating out is not happening for a while...
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    And it is people like you that is why I usually avoid forums. People have given you lots of helpful advice and suggestions and ideas. Yet there is an excuse how or why you can't do any of the suggestions.

    YOU are the one saying 'eating out is ruined for me now'. People have tried to help so you don't feel like that. YOU are the person making excuses.

    As for everyone else, I'd give up. You've all been very helpful and if it was me, I'd be eternally grateful for people taking the time and effort to try and help and advise me overcome such a fear. But I think you're all wasting your breath here.

    I think everyone in this forum can prove eating out is still possible and eating some of the 'bad foods' (hate that term) in moderation. It's about choices and control and unfortunately my friend, that is where you come in. Noone else.

    You posted just to tell the OP that you usually avoid people like her?

    Are you saying she wasn't spot-on with her analysis?

    I suppose if she had emerged from hiding with her first ever post to blast "mean people" (as has been done countless times before), that would be fine though, right?

    I do not believe she was spot on with her analysis, and quite frankly her post did sound mean. Only the OP could possibly know what is ruined for her.
  • doubleduofa
    doubleduofa Posts: 284 Member
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    I am gluten and dairy free - talk about it being hard to go to restaurants... But, I'm always able to find something delicious! Lots of restaurants have cool salads that I wouldn't have ordered before, but now I try them because it is a new and interesting flavor combination. I've expanded my pallate and become more adventurous. I usually have to hold the cheese and switch to oil/vinegar dressing, but they are still awesome. Also awesome are fajitas with no tortillas, salmon with veggies, bunless burger with side salad and extra veggies (I used to get cottage cheese instead of fries too).

    Restaurants are usually happy to make sure your meal is the way you want it. Ask questions and be friendly!

    I'm also not quite sure why you can't eat all 6oz of your steak? Why afraid of oil? At home, I like to use oils that I think are healthy, but a small amount of whatever they are using won't hurt me. Eat fat...it will keep you full! Just ask for dressing on the side so you know how much you are eating and can track it better.

    Also, on the road, I don't eat out for all three meals. I carry snacks with me. It's hard for me to find "dessert" anywhere so I usually carry around some nuts or dark chocolate. Coffee (decaf) can finish off a nice dinner out too.

    Lastly, don't be afraid to gain a little on the road. It happens and when you get back into your routine, it will come off. I understand you are afraid of the slippery slope. But, you are the one in control of it. This is why maintenance is difficult...the learning process is trial and error and slow. You must be committed to learning from your mistakes.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    And it is people like you that is why I usually avoid forums. People have given you lots of helpful advice and suggestions and ideas. Yet there is an excuse how or why you can't do any of the suggestions.

    YOU are the one saying 'eating out is ruined for me now'. People have tried to help so you don't feel like that. YOU are the person making excuses.

    As for everyone else, I'd give up. You've all been very helpful and if it was me, I'd be eternally grateful for people taking the time and effort to try and help and advise me overcome such a fear. But I think you're all wasting your breath here.

    I think everyone in this forum can prove eating out is still possible and eating some of the 'bad foods' (hate that term) in moderation. It's about choices and control and unfortunately my friend, that is where you come in. Noone else.

    You posted just to tell the OP that you usually avoid people like her?

    Are you saying she wasn't spot-on with her analysis?

    I suppose if she had emerged from hiding with her first ever post to blast "mean people" (as has been done countless times before), that would be fine though, right?

    I do not believe she was spot on with her analysis, and quite frankly her post did sound mean. Only the OP could possibly know what is ruined for her.

    :yawn:
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    You know... you really don't have to eat the entire portion that they serve you in a restaurant. Many restaurant meals are really 2-4 servings. Each a normal portion and take the extra home to enjoy later.
  • carriecoo
    carriecoo Posts: 30 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there
  • redversustheblue
    redversustheblue Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I'm having HLB flashbacks.


    OMG! Me too!!!!! LOL

    It was my cheat day!

    Nothing will ever be as epic as HLB.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there

    Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,068 Member
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    You know... you really don't have to eat the entire portion that they serve you in a restaurant. Many restaurant meals are really 2-4 servings. Each a normal portion and take the extra home to enjoy later.
    this
    when i eat out now i half the meal and take the rest home for the next day
    one meal isnt going to make much difference though unless you eat out multiple times out of the week, its just a matter of making up for it somewhere, be it in future deficits or going for a couple mile run
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there

    Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.

    You know how some people seem to have a solution for every problem?

    You're like the inverse of this.


    When I eat at a local restaurant for the first time, I make sure I have enough calories for more options...and if that doesn't work, I simply go over that particular day...because it isn't like anyone eats at a new local non-chain restaurant that often. When I'm returning to a local non-chain restaurant, I simply find a *similar* entry in the database for something I plan to order that looks reasonably close.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there

    Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.

    I have found that typically those are the places they are even more flexible about preparing food the way you ask, so you can keep things lower calorie.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there

    Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.

    Even some chains don't have nutritional info.... Pappadeaux's anyone? You just find out what some of their dishes are and go from there... get your dressing on the side... don't eat the entire order... don't get things drenched in cheese sauce. It really isn't rocket science. I tend to find similar things in the database and round up... But you know, I try to not worry about every thing I eat every day.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there

    Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.

    You know how some people seem to have a solution for every problem?

    You're like the inverse of this.


    When I eat at a local restaurant for the first time, I make sure I have enough calories for more options...and if that doesn't work, I simply go over that particular day...because it isn't like anyone eats at a new local non-chain restaurant that often. When I'm returning to a local non-chain restaurant, I simply find a *similar* entry in the database for something I plan to order that looks reasonably close.

    Me too. That doesn't make the information available online, which is all my post was about.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    tumblr_n2r5s3pL3E1rznvc3o1_400.gif
  • redversustheblue
    redversustheblue Posts: 1,216 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there

    Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.

    You know how some people seem to have a solution for every problem?

    You're like the inverse of this.


    When I eat at a local restaurant for the first time, I make sure I have enough calories for more options...and if that doesn't work, I simply go over that particular day...because it isn't like anyone eats at a new local non-chain restaurant that often. When I'm returning to a local non-chain restaurant, I simply find a *similar* entry in the database for something I plan to order that looks reasonably close.

    Me too. That doesn't make the information available online, which is all my post was about.

    So you missed the part about finding a similar entry that looks like it could be close? That's obviously better than nothing.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    I'd LOVE to be able to afford to eat out even once a month. It would be a nice treat for me. And no, I wouldn't count the calories, I'd enjoy the damn meal and the next day get right back on my usual calorie deficit.

    I haven't eaten out in over 2 years.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    When I know we are going somewhere specific, I go to the website and look at the menu and nutritional info and choose what I am having before I even go. Its all there

    Not if you enjoy going to local non-chain restaurants.

    Even some chains don't have nutritional info.... Pappadeaux's anyone? You just find out what some of their dishes are and go from there... get your dressing on the side... don't eat the entire order... don't get things drenched in cheese sauce. It really isn't rocket science. I tend to find similar things in the database and round up... But you know, I try to not worry about every thing I eat every day.

    rocket-science-header-web.gif

    OP rejects common sense strategies. Butthurt commences.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    And it is people like you that is why I usually avoid forums. People have given you lots of helpful advice and suggestions and ideas. Yet there is an excuse how or why you can't do any of the suggestions.

    YOU are the one saying 'eating out is ruined for me now'. People have tried to help so you don't feel like that. YOU are the person making excuses.

    As for everyone else, I'd give up. You've all been very helpful and if it was me, I'd be eternally grateful for people taking the time and effort to try and help and advise me overcome such a fear. But I think you're all wasting your breath here.

    I think everyone in this forum can prove eating out is still possible and eating some of the 'bad foods' (hate that term) in moderation. It's about choices and control and unfortunately my friend, that is where you come in. Noone else.

    You posted just to tell the OP that you usually avoid people like her?

    Are you saying she wasn't spot-on with her analysis?

    I suppose if she had emerged from hiding with her first ever post to blast "mean people" (as has been done countless times before), that would be fine though, right?

    I do not believe she was spot on with her analysis, and quite frankly her post did sound mean. Only the OP could possibly know what is ruined for her.

    being true and not full of fluffy flowers and pats on the back doesn't mean it's mean.

    Mean is mean- she was being truthful- and truthful =/= mean. You might not like it- but it doesn't make it mean just because you dislike what was said.

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