Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.

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There are far too many women who have ended up with metabolic and endocrine issues from it, as well, that have then actively tried to lose weight and have gone through some pretty hefty extremes, just to fail, and finally say "f this. If I'm going to be fat anyway, I might as well enjoy things instead of depriving myself for a goal that's obviously impossible."

Yes, a lot of people try to lose weight and fail...I know I have several times and am still constantly working on myself. But just because people have difficulty dieting/losing weight does not mean that we should all just give up, put on more and more weight each year, and just let the consequences be what they may. Instead I think that it shouldn't be such a shameful thing to admit that you are struggling with your weight and that you need help, and that there should be more resources available with practical information, instead of peddling fad diets and pills that don't work and lead to the situation you described above!

I'm going to say something that will not earn me any friends.

The lady, as abrasive as she is, has a point. We have, and I see it everyday in my family, became a society of fat-acceptance. Several members of my family have judged ex-girlfriends for being "too skinny" when, in reality, they were at a perfectly healthy weight. They openly did this with great fanfare but, heaven forbid, you call someone fat or even overweight.

As more Americans become more and more overweight and obese the problem increases. Being overweight is not just a case of vanity. If that was the case, then whatever but if you can criticize the skinny, be prepared to get it in return. It's a situation that has lead to sky rocketing health cost, ruined lives, and wrecked families. Of Course, under eating is just as bad. The difference of course is that society accepts the health risk of being underweight and openly criticize those whom are underweight

Fat shaming is not ok but the level of misapplied political correctness that is applied to obesity status is overwhelming. It may not be those children's fault but the day you reach 18, except in special circumstances, it is. Their parents may have shown bad eating habits but that is hardly an excuse. A drug addict is still a drug addict even if their parents started them on it. Not that obesity is as bad as drugs.

We should come down on parents hard that raise obese kids. We are doing no one any favors by not doing it. Those children will, most likely, lead a life wrecked with health problems. Why are we protecting this? Why can't we just be honest and straight forward and say, "look, your kid is overweight. You're putting them at risk." Heaven forbid you say that, yet saying a kid needs to "put a little meat on his bones" is A OK.

To answer you question and to point at the elephant in the room, yes I've been body shamed. I was 6'2 and about 165 lbs, long distance runner and healthy. People told me I was twig and bones and that I was too skinny. I need to gain weight. Being skinny is unattractive. OMG look! I can see you ribs! Give me a break...

/end rant.

I agree with Joe, yeah maybe she jumped to some conclusions and yeah maybe those three fatties were on diets, but still, it is pretty disgraceful they keep have to make larger and larger clothing sizes because people can't control themselves. Size 3XL didn't exists 20 years ago. I agree with the women who wrote the article that it's not OK to sugar coat this problem and we are being too PC. Yes, there is a problem with being fat. I'm not talking about 20-30 pounds overweight, that's cool you like to eat and drink, so do I, I'm talking about the people who are 30, 40, 50 and 100s of pounds overweight. Doesn't happen overnight and everybody knows it is unhealthy. Yeah, sure, some fat people are really strong, but they'd be stronger and faster if they didn't have so much extra weight hanging off of them. I am OK with shaming fat people if it makes them lose weight. In fact, I don't really even think she's really shaming. She's calling it like it is. Like she said in the article if we can shame people for smoke cigarettes, then we can shame them for being fat. Just because your fat it doesn't make you a terrible person, but you should at least try to do something about it.

If you people want to be PC about it and never have anyone call you fat again, then don't use my tax dollars to pay for your ride to the hospital in a double-wide ambulance because you can't walk. You can't have it both ways. As long as I'm paying for the hospital bills for irresponsible fatties, I can call them fat all I want.

i think that too many people are concerned with having other people approve of their decisions and looks and need to grow up .

i also think that other people shouldnt give a about what my opinions are about their body, pretty much the same as I do to them.

i really dont understand why people need to have a consensus on stuff like this. noone can make you feel ashamed unless you give them power to do that.

Someone being honest on the Internet?? Quick flame her!

I support this article and the author.

Same, sorry for those who disagree.

I agree with her, but I don't think it had to have been said in such a manner. Using "fatty" over and over again...meh. Grow up.


This part is dead on, though:

We live in a society in which it has become OK to shame people for being skinny, but to come out and say 'You’re fat. Not healthy, not a good look' would be tantamount to a crime.

Someone being honest on the Internet?? Quick flame her!

I support this article and the author.

While I don't entirely disagree with some of the points that she made, there's a difference between being honest, yet tactful, and being an *kitten*. Calling people "fatties" is ****ish, at best. Her points are largely lost in her tactless writing, and I agree with some of the other people that have stated that it says more about her own insecurities about having any amount of fat on her body. Frankly, I'm glad she doesn't have a daughter. From the sounds of the article, the poor girl would be driven into one eating disorder or another by an overly-critical mother (I've seen just such a thing happen on more than one occasion).

So calling someone anorexic (which is socially acceptable for some reason) is better or more allowed then calling someone who is obese a fatty.

Nope.

My take on it: anorexic = psychological disorder which is perfectly acceptable, even glorified in some situations; calling someone who is obese = stating a fact; calling someone who is obese fatty = derogatory and rude

Someone being honest on the Internet?? Quick flame her!

I support this article and the author.

While I don't entirely disagree with some of the points that she made, there's a difference between being honest, yet tactful, and being an *kitten*. Calling people "fatties" is ****ish, at best. Her points are largely lost in her tactless writing, and I agree with some of the other people that have stated that it says more about her own insecurities about having any amount of fat on her body. Frankly, I'm glad she doesn't have a daughter. From the sounds of the article, the poor girl would be driven into one eating disorder or another by an overly-critical mother (I've seen just such a thing happen on more than one occasion).

So calling someone anorexic (which is socially acceptable for some reason) is better or more allowed then calling someone who is obese a fatty.

Nope.

I never called anyone anorexic, nor do I think doing so, unless they actually are anorexic, is okay. When someone actually does suffer from anorexia, then anorexic is a correct term to use and is no different than using "diabetic" to refer to someone who has diabetes, as both are actual medical diagnoses. "Fatty" is not.

Calling out the red flags for an eating disorder (on either end of the spectrum) probably should be done more often. However, there are still ways to do it tactfully, and name-calling is not one such way.

What I did say, though, is that the attitude portrayed by the article's author suggests that she would put quite a bit of pressure on her daughter (had she had one) that would have very likely resulted in an eating disorder of some sort, for a fear of getting "fat" in her mother's eyes that would likely have ingrained into her. Such relationships between mothers and daughters aren't exactly bastions of healthy relationships with food.

I really disagree with the near exclusive focus on women. Women's bodies are always the object of scrutiny--whether objectification or ridicule. And it is probably why women suffer far more eating disorders than men.

This is particularly egregious considering that (in the US at least) the percentage of overweight men is greater than overweight women (74 versus 64 percent) although rates of obesity are exactly the same (36%). Why the hatred for fat girls and women rather than the disgust with a society that makes obesity easy, profitable and cheap, and health hard?

There is a very real obesity epidemic in this country, and elsewhere, but the target should not be (as it is here) shaming women, especially young vulnerable women. Why not the same disgust and vitriol for Big Food companies that put HFCS in everything, even bread and soup? Why not anger at schools that cut physical education out of the day? Why not the companies that make fruit drinks more available, and cheaper, than whole fruit? Why not the marketing of candy to kids? why not the restaurant chains that pump thousands of calories into a sandwich? We need to educate facilities, and communities, particularly lower income communities where fruit soda is easier to get than an apple. Personal responsibility plays a huge role, but so does community, society and education.

Its like blaming the entire housing crisis on greedy consumers who took out too much debt, without taking to task the banks and companies that made profits hand over fist from pushing huge high risk mortgage on uneducated consumers.

Linda Kelsey should (IMHO) butt out.
How we dress is totally up to us. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone what to, or what not to wear, if they are comfortable with it in their own skin.
If they look wrong, then so be it. They make their own choices and then, so be it.
I am a 66 year old biker girl (yes - girl) and I wear leather, denim, lace, boots, short skirts and spandex leggings, and I am not skinny Minnie. I wear it because I like it. If anyone else doesn't like it, then tough ti**y. I'll still wear it. That's my style.

Yes - I've looked at people and thought "you really shouldn't be wearing that" but its only in my thoughts - I would never give public voice to those thoughts. Live and let live I say, all down the line.

I agree however that we are in the midst of a melt-down obesity epidemic - that's why we are all sharing thoughts on this site, and I include myself. I am a few pounds away from being "just overweight" and not "obese" but I lose the weight because I choose to and not because I'm told that I must.

If those young ladies in the airport are happy that they will probably be type 2's in a few years, and that they really don't look good in their chosen threads, then fair enough. It's their choice. If you don't like to look, the look away.

Publicizing personal fat phobia is the prerogative of our freedom of expression, but constructively please, and I hope that the photographs published had the subjects' permission.

And one final comment - that's why I never read newspapers. I have plenty of opinions of my own, thank you!

I will never understand why people care so much (or at all) about bodies that are not theirs.

The estimated annual medical cost of obesity in the U.S. was $147 billion in 2008 U.S. dollars; the medical costs for people who are obese were $1,429 higher than those of normal weight.

http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html

It raises healthcare cost for everyone. Insurance premiums rise. Medical bills rise. That's just the money side of it.

Not to mention, that it causes an enormous amount of pain to families. My uncle died at 55 from obesity-related illnesses. It wrecked his family. We are a member of society. We don't live in these little bubbles where our actions only affect ourselves.

The truth!

Personally, I would be happy if general practitioners would grow a pair and inform their actual, clinically overweight or obese patients that they are, in fact, fat and need to take steps to lose the weight for their health.

I know several people who are clinically obese or overweight and their GPs have said NOTHING to them during their checkups. So, these people believe they must be fine to keep on keeping on. WTF?

The rest of us would be better off just keeping our noses out of other peoples' business unless asked.

I will not apologize for privately held opinions of others' appearance, though. Anyone who tells me that they don't ever look at another human being and form an initial opinion about them based on their looks is flat out lying. Unless they're blind.

I'm going to caveat this with the fact that I'm not going to read the article based solely on comments in this thread. What I will share are some relevant opinions.

Is obesity attractive? Not really. Is it ugly? Not really. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Should anyone feel ashamed of their body? Never and I say that as someone who wouldn't even wear shorts until his late 30's because I was embarrassed of my body. Even today after a lot of weight loss you'll never see me in a tank top or shirtless.

It is NEVER ok to shame anyone for who they are regardless of who that is.

With that said, I am astonished when I see people justify their obesity in the name of self respect. They tell themselves that everything is ok because they're happy. Then they pile up their plates with bacon, eggs, biscuits, gravy, and tater tots two inches thick walk across the cafeteria to their seat, sit down, and catch their breath before cleaning their plate. (This is a true story btw. I see this regularly.)

I'm a hypocrite too as I was this person once upon a time. I was ok with being obese because I learned to love "who I was". I became comfortable and complacent in my over sized body. Once I started losing weight (as a side effect of wanting to become a runner) I discovered that I was trapped in my skin all that time and there was an adventurer in that body wanting to get out.

I was lucky that I learned the secret that I didn't have to live that way. These people need that message too but not by shaming them into it. In my opinion they need encouragement. For starters we need to set an example by living the best life we can and not forgetting about where we came from. Then we need to educate them of the value of a healthy lifestyle.

We can't force them to get healthier but we can help them see they have other options. They are the ones that need to take that first step and when/if they do, they'll need our support. Not our criticism.

We live in a society in which it has become OK to shame people for being skinny, but to come out and say 'You’re fat. Not healthy, not a good look' would be tantamount to a crime.

It's about time we stopped tiptoeing around the size issue, stopped kidding ourselves that anorexia, however serious, is the biggest eating problem we face, and started to tackle fat for the problem that it is.

Not because celebrities and models are worthy of emulating but because fat is a blight on both individuals and society.

One way to start might be by calling a fat girl a fat girl. No apology required.

^This.

Fat adjective \ˈfat\: having a lot of extra flesh on your body : having a lot of body fat

When it really comes down to it, its a descriptor. I'm not insulting you by saying you are fat if you are indeed fat. It's not a personal attack, its a fact. It's not like most people don't know it...of course I would never go up to someone and tell them, hey, you're really fat! But it should be ok for a doctor, or a family member, or close friend to say to someone, listen, you have a lot of fat and it's not healthy. I'm worried about you.

Saying that someone is fat should not mean that they are a bad person, lazy, disgusting, etc...it just means that they have extra body fat, which is unhealthy and should not be ignored. Step one of the problem may be reclaiming this word for what it truly should mean, so people can start to have honest conversations about it!

I had a doctor do pretty much exactly that. Given that the reason I had that appointment in the first place was because I was doing everything "right" and still not losing weight, it drove me nearly to suicide. My saving grace was that I was going to my martial arts class right after, where I could spar with people and test my strength and skill (and take out some frustration).

The problem with the idea of telling people they're fat is that it assumes they don't already know. Maybe some people genuinely don't know (though I honestly can't fathom how you can't know when you're 50 or 100lb or more overweight), but most people generally do. They also generally feel pretty powerless to change it, either due to medical reasons, or just lack of knowledge. Telling them what they already know doesn't fix anything.

Yes, I know I'm about 80lb overweight (at least according to the BMI chart, my LBM puts me more at about 50lb of excess body fat). I see it every time I look in the mirror. I see it every time I see someone's weight loss success story. I see it every time I step on the godsforsaken scale and watch as it plays hopscotch around the same median number for months on end. I see it every time I measure myself and find the measurements haven't moved. I see it every time I walk by a "regular" department store, knowing that it's hit-or-miss (at best) whether they'd have anything that I could fit into. I see it every time my husband just thinks about losing weight and manages to drop 10 pounds without really trying. I see it every time I put on something even remotely form-fitting. I do not need to be told this. I am already surrounded by reminders.

What I do need, and what we do need to do for others, is support and suggestions for ways to tweak things. "Eat less and move more" only goes so far as useful advice (I think we can all agree that eating 800 calories and burning 1500 is bad). I need doctors who are willing to work with me to do the tests necessary to rule out medical issues, instead of just assuming that I'm a lazy glutton and lying about my activity level and food intake. I need someone that can objectively review a food journal and help make adjustments if the "eat whatever you want, as long as you're in a calorie deficit" isn't working (either for sustainability reasons or for actual weight loss results).

It also assumes that they got that way because they were lazy gluttons (maybe it shouldn't, but it does). Again, while some certainly did, not everyone did. And even some of the ones who got to their highest weight by being lazy gluttons, haven't stayed at the higher weight because they're lazy gluttons (but rather, because of medical issues caused by their weight or previous way of eating that then hinder the weight loss).

Dr. Peter Attia, for example, exercised for 3-4 hours a day, including swimming the Maui channel and back. He was still overweight, though.

What caused it? Metabolic syndrome.

Basically, his body couldn't tolerate the amount of carbs he was eating (which was the rather typical athlete high-carb diet) and become insulin resistant. Once he decreased the amount of carbs he was taking in, he was able to reverse the metabolic syndrome and lose the weight he had put on.

http://eatingacademy.com/why-i-decided-to-lose-weight
http://eatingacademy.com/how-i-lost-weight

He gained weight not because he was a lazy glutton, but because he was eating a diet that his body couldn't really tolerate and function properly on. Once he changed the way he was eating, he was actually able to eat more food and lose weight, because he got his body working properly again. (And no, I'm not saying he defied physics. I'm saying that dysfunction can affect the actual numbers of the equation such that weight is stored, even when the calculations say it shouldn't be.)

So no, we don't need a blanket "the fat people need to be told they're fat," because you have no idea unless you know them whether they already know. If they really don't know -- and you know this -- then yeah, making them aware may be a necessary thing to do. If they do know and are complacent, then yeah, making them aware of the health implications may be what's necessary. But a lot of people already know they're overweight and are trying to do something about it, and telling them what they already know doesn't solve the problem.

'One was wearing shockingly skimpy crochet shorts, as seen on size-zero models in adverts'

This line stood out to me and after this I didn't want to read the rest... When have size zero models depicted HEALTH? Why can't big girls wear crochet shorts?. I am also shocked by how many people on here agree with this article. Aren't we supposed to be body confident and encourage each other to feel good about ourselves in the process of out weight loss journeys? I think I signed up to the wrong forum.