Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.
Replies
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I really disagree with the near exclusive focus on women. Women's bodies are always the object of scrutiny--whether objectification or ridicule. And it is probably why women suffer far more eating disorders than men.
This is particularly egregious considering that (in the US at least) the percentage of overweight men is greater than overweight women (74 versus 64 percent) although rates of obesity are exactly the same (36%). Why the hatred for fat girls and women rather than the disgust with a society that makes obesity easy, profitable and cheap, and health hard?
There is a very real obesity epidemic in this country, and elsewhere, but the target should not be (as it is here) shaming women, especially young vulnerable women. Why not the same disgust and vitriol for Big Food companies that put HFCS in everything, even bread and soup? Why not anger at schools that cut physical education out of the day? Why not the companies that make fruit drinks more available, and cheaper, than whole fruit? Why not the marketing of candy to kids? why not the restaurant chains that pump thousands of calories into a sandwich? We need to educate facilities, and communities, particularly lower income communities where fruit soda is easier to get than an apple. Personal responsibility plays a huge role, but so does community, society and education.
Its like blaming the entire housing crisis on greedy consumers who took out too much debt, without taking to task the banks and companies that made profits hand over fist from pushing huge high risk mortgage on uneducated consumers.
This x1000. I'm surprised more many people didn't pick up on the horrible way this targets women.
And I think the fact that it does is really telling because it shows that her concern with 'fatties' really has nothing to do with health but with appearance. Apparently overweight women shouldn't be allowed to leave the house and enjoy themselves because their number one concern should be their appearance.
I know this is the Daily Fail and the article, as is the norm on the site, was written with the primary objective of earning clicks through controversy but I don't think this negates its harm.
Not only does it reinforce rigid ideals of beauty and the notion that being overweight is a moral failing but it also, in my opinion, does nothing to promote its supposed underlying message of good health.We know that the vast majority of crash diets fail, and yet people who should probably know better continue to go down this route because they want quick results. Obviously you don't get healthy quickly by eating 300 calories a day, but you do look thinner, and after reading an article like this (or pretty much anything on the Daily Mail in general) you might start to feel that that's all that matters.0 -
bump to read later0
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Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
Thank you. You summed it all up very nicely. It would be nice if everyone dressed for their body type. It would be nice if I had a unicorn. Both those things probably won't happen, and somehow we'll live.
Maybe if the other poster has a condition where her retinas spontaneously combusted at the sight of cellulite or a roll, then she would have a valid complaint, but somehow, I don't think she does.0 -
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
Well said.
Amen0 -
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
Compulsory burqas for all!
Yay!0 -
I was about to say something similar. Great minds think alike? I guess.
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
Compulsory burqas for all!
Yay!0 -
^^ This.I'm going to say something that will not earn me any friends.
The lady, as abrasive as she is, has a point. We have, and I see it everyday in my family, became a society of fat-acceptance. Several members of my family have judged ex-girlfriends for being "too skinny" when, in reality, they were at a perfectly healthy weight. They openly did this with great fanfare but, heaven forbid, you call someone fat or even overweight.
As more Americans become more and more overweight and obese the problem increases. Being overweight is not just a case of vanity. If that was the case, then whatever but if you can criticize the skinny, be prepared to get it in return. It's a situation that has lead to sky rocketing health cost, ruined lives, and wrecked families. Of Course, under eating is just as bad. The difference of course is that society accepts the health risk of being underweight and openly criticize those whom are underweight
Fat shaming is not ok but the level of misapplied political correctness that is applied to obesity status is overwhelming. It may not be those children's fault but the day you reach 18, except in special circumstances, it is. Their parents may have shown bad eating habits but that is hardly an excuse. A drug addict is still a drug addict even if their parents started them on it. Not that obesity is as bad as drugs.
We should come down on parents hard that raise obese kids. We are doing no one any favors by not doing it. Those children will, most likely, lead a life wrecked with health problems. Why are we protecting this? Why can't we just be honest and straight forward and say, "look, your kid is overweight. You're putting them at risk." Heaven forbid you say that, yet saying a kid needs to "put a little meat on his bones" is A OK.
To answer you question and to point at the elephant in the room, yes I've been body shamed. I was 6'2 and about 165 lbs, long distance runner and healthy. People told me I was twig and bones and that I was too skinny. I need to gain weight. Being skinny is unattractive. OMG look! I can see you ribs! Give me a break...
/end rant.0 -
I couldn't get through it.
I wanted to finish reading it, so I could form a full opinion, but I could not. I could not finish reading it because it is clearly written by someone who has never been fat. It is written by someone who has never finished a pack of Oreos in one sitting, and then sat on their bedroom floor crying her eyes out because she does not understand why she cannot stop eating. It is written by someone who has never looked in the mirror, saw her rolls, wondered if she should wear those shorts in public, decide that she should be allowed to because dang it, it's 99 degrees today and she's hot!... only to walk into the store and be laughed at by a group of teenagers. It is written by someone who has never struggled with emotional overeating, compulsive overeating, binge eating, or any of the various reasons one gets overweight. These can include both psychological and physical health problems. It is written by someone who does not realize that those of us who have struggled with weight know we have a problem.
She speaks about obese people as though they have no right to live. She speaks about them as though they should constantly be depressed, ashamed, and hiding from the world. This line of thinking creates a vicious cycle. One in which the overweight person starts to believe people like her are right. And that they are worthless. One in which the overweight person feels like their worth is only determined by how much they eat, but wonders why they can't stop eating, so they eat more because at least food doesn't judge them. Like this woman does. The way she speaks only makes the problem worse. If she thinks, for one second, that obese people don't know they have a problem she is naive. The problem is that there is a stereotype of the jolly, overweight person. And this stereotype - I have come to learn - usually doesn't exist. Fat people can be happy. They can be depression free. They can be happy with their bodies. That doesn't mean they don't know they're overweight, it doesn't mean they don't know they have a problem. Nor does it mean that they should be forbidden from wearing shorts just so people like her don't have to see it. If you don't want to see it, don't look. I pass by many people in a day. Some of them are *gasp* overweight. I honestly couldn't even tell you the color of their jeans... because I don't pay that much attention to what other people are wearing. To be honest, I'm more worried about what I'm putting in my shopping cart.
At the end of the day, she doesn't get it. And she probably won't, because she's clearly afraid of being overweight and therefore, will likely do anything she can to prevent that. At the end of the day, she doesn't get what it's like to be that girl or boy sitting in their room, devouring cheese puffs, justifying each bite by saying this will be the last day I do this, tomorrow I'll start that diet. She'll never be that girl crying over a pint of ice cream. She'll never be that man who doesn't understand why one double cheeseburger does nothing to fill him up. But I was once. And so were many people here, I'm sure. At the end of the day... I'm more than my weight. And if I have a health problem, or a psychological problem... I'm aware. I don't need someone pointing it out in such a brash, rude manner.
It is okay to not be okay with obesity.
It is not okay to make those who are obese feel less than human.
this :flowerforyou:0 -
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
Please outline the appropriate dress code according to age, weight, and gender. I would really like to see you come up with a universal "appropriate" dress code.
As long as someone is not breaking the indecent exposure laws, health code (i.e. shirts required in a restaurant), or specific dress code for work/school, they can wear whatever they want. Seriously, as entertaining as "the people of walmart" is, those people have every right to wear what they want.
I might look at someone and think "I would never wear that", but I would never presume to tell them that they shouldn't wear it.
Get over yourself. (Coming from someone who dresses modestly, so I'm not one of these girls in question)
Edited to add: You sound like the old ladies who judge people on what they wear to church, instead of appreciating the fact that they came at all. Don't be like that.0 -
Allowing myself to have an objective body image is a journey. The tendency to compare/contrast and otherwise judge has been difficult to overcome. I found that drawing a 'body map' (Fit for Real People by Patty Palmer and Marta Alto) was a good beginning. I still have it hanging in my craft room. Reading the information on body shapes and how shapes change and learning how the fashion industry sets its standards gave me an "aha"! I was able to see why certain clothing styles didn't fit my body and how the bone structure matters. I stopped torturing myself with styles that simply weren't made for my body shape. Once my eyes started looking at the body map without judging I noticed that I could look in a mirror without judging. That makes it easier to set realistic expectations. For example: losing weight isn't going to change the pelvic bone. The Bone isn't going to get smaller! Sounds silly but I did imagine that reaching my 'ideal healthy body weight' would solve more than it would solve. Shame and blame are simply strategies that are used when we are frustrated or otherwise triggered. When we hear shame and blame the question is 'what has triggered that'. Judging has more to say about what triggers me and someone elses judgement has more to say about what triggers them. Listening and looking deeper can help.0
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I don't have a problem with being overweight, I have a problem with the discomfort that comes with it. i like being active and doing stuff and I know how the weight can creep on. What I don't get is the people who are overweight and tell me, but I never eat. Who are they lying to? I have a good friend who is overweight, she moved to Arizona, she also has asthma, she came back telling us she swims 30 laps in the pool, but we had to walk 4 blocks and she was having trouble breathing. I understand different air and it was humid, but if she had been in shape it wouldn't have been that hard.
Uh... Asthma is a breathing disease. I have asthma and I'm really quite fit, but I have to use my inhaler before exercise else I get really close to exhaustion and/or an attack. Have you not asked your friend about her condition?
Agreed.
Also, the difference in humidity can make all the difference. Humidity is a known asthma trigger, as is cold, and plants. That's why she can swim 30 laps in a pool in Arizona, but has issues walking 4 blocks in New Jersey (and when was this? If it wasn't summer time, then she probably also had the colder temperature against her, too).
I was diagnosed with asthma as a kid. You know what it took to get to the point where an inhaler was optional for exercise? 2-4 hours of basketball, 5 days a week, plus walking or riding a bike everywhere I wanted to go, plus 2-3 days of gym class a week (and actually competitively participating), and even then, it took the better part of 4 years to get to that point.
And now? I do boxing twice a week. It includes a cardio-based warmup, which I often have trouble doing. Not because I'm "out of shape" -- my legs could keep going all day -- but because there comes a point where my lungs aren't able to expand all the way, and it starts triggering a response not unlike a panic/anxiety attack, where I can breathe, but it doesn't feel like I'm getting oxygen. It's only when I stop, take a few deep breaths, and get my lungs to open completely and the diaphragm to extend fully that I can make it go away and be on my way. It has very little, if anything, to do with whether I'm "in shape," as it happens now, even after working out regularly for several years, and it will come on suddenly -- I'll be breathing fine one breath, then the next, I feel like I'm breathing in a vacuum, or some kind of oxygen-less environment. It's not fun, I hate it, and I'd much rather be able to just "push through it," but it doesn't work that way. This is what I dealt with even as a very active child.
So yeah, asthma isn't an "overweight, out of shape" thing. In fact, asthma has a very strong allergen component (fun fact -- Singulair, which is now marketed as an allergy medication, was originally marketed as an asthma medication). So please, don't assume someone's out of shape (and therefore "probably lying" about their normal exercise routine) if they have asthma and are having trouble breathing.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!0 -
As bad as American tabloids can be, I'm shocked at how nasty British tabloids are. The stuff is way more offensive and over the top than its American counterparts IMO. This editorial is really offensive. Every person should be able to be happy in public without others judging him/her for appearance.
The reality is everyone who goes out in public is judged in one way or another. Weight just happens to be one way people are judged and even if you are buff sitting at ideal weight, you will still be judged. Most have the good graces not to verbalize exactly what they are thinking about another person. That's a good thing. The problem comes when those thoughts are verbalized, something that can and will happen if you do not conform to societal expectations.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
Hang on - I thought your concerns were with health issues and the tax dollars - yet all of the above relates to appearance, not health at all. :huh:
As I said, if your issue is with appearance, say so ( as you did here) - dont say your concern is about health if it isn't.
I'm not sure why the comments about me being gross in a size 18 - I have never been obese, nor worn a size 18.
However I do think anyone can choose what they want to wear ( within the limits of dress codes set by workplaces etc, of course) and not have to wear what you think is appropriate.0 -
Such a disgusting article.
People should hate themselves because they're fat? Their lives should go on hold and they should become self loathing and not enjoy the same comforts/"privileges" as thin people? "No, no sunshine for you! You can't tan, you're fat!"
And for her to claim that models and celebrity image is not an issue? Anorexia is a cause of driven personalities? And what tells these driven personalities what the "ideal image" is?
I really hate how people who hate on others hide behind such flimsy excuses to do so... "It's their health I'm worried about, really I am... what's that, pay attention to myself?? This DOES affect me, they're raising my health care costs (in a nation which does NOT provide free health care... hayyyyyy anti-Obamacare argument! Score, 2-4-1!)"
I also think she made a bet with someone to see how many times she could use the word "fatties" in that article.
ETA- only just read the posts saying this is a trashy British tabloid (where I know healthcare is provided). Good to know this is not a reputed news source.
As disgusting as the article is, it has an element of truth and she does make a few valid points. She is verbalizing what a lot of folks think but have the good graces not to say where the overweight person can hear. If you were a fly on a wall, you would be shocked at how overweight people are discussed in private conversations. You aren't going to stop that any more than you are any other form of discrimination. It may become more subtle or go underground but it is still there.0 -
As bad as American tabloids can be, I'm shocked at how nasty British tabloids are. The stuff is way more offensive and over the top than its American counterparts IMO. This editorial is really offensive. Every person should be able to be happy in public without others judging him/her for appearance.
The reality is everyone who goes out in public is judged in one way or another. Weight just happens to be one way people are judged and even if you are buff sitting at ideal weight, you will still be judged. Most have the good graces not to verbalize exactly what they are thinking about another person. That's a good thing. The problem comes when those thoughts are verbalized, something that can and will happen if you do not conform to societal expectations.
regarding the first post quoted above - I think that the British tabloids are not taken very seriously by most British people, and people take opinions with a pinch of salt a bit more. Americans seem to be getting more upset by this article than Brits are (on average, going by this thread). Yes the woman is obnoxious and probably just writing it to be sensationalist.... but really, this is the Daily Fail and why get worked up about what some idiot Daily Fail journalist is saying? She's probably just trying to advance her career by being sensationalist and starting a big row. If you let yourself get upset by that kind of thing, you're just feeding her. It's like don't feed the trolls on the internet. Don't feed the Daily Fail journalists (yes they really are in the same league as internet trolls). But people always do, and so their journalists find more outrageous and controversial things to say to sell more papers in the ensuing sh** storm.
Here's a sarcastic funny song about the Daily Mail:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI 0 -
I don't have a problem with being overweight, I have a problem with the discomfort that comes with it. i like being active and doing stuff and I know how the weight can creep on. What I don't get is the people who are overweight and tell me, but I never eat. Who are they lying to? I have a good friend who is overweight, she moved to Arizona, she also has asthma, she came back telling us she swims 30 laps in the pool, but we had to walk 4 blocks and she was having trouble breathing. I understand different air and it was humid, but if she had been in shape it wouldn't have been that hard.
Uh... Asthma is a breathing disease. I have asthma and I'm really quite fit, but I have to use my inhaler before exercise else I get really close to exhaustion and/or an attack. Have you not asked your friend about her condition?
And as for why people would wear things that don't make them look "good" - that's not everyone's priority. Some people either keep the same clothes they used to wear once upon a time because they can't be bothered to go shopping, or it's otherwise just not their priority
I have severe asthma. The friend in question is not lying and she does know her own body best. Swimming is one of the few exercises that don't trigger asthma unless the person's trigger is chlorine but many pools don't use chlorine. Being in a different environment can also ease symptoms. Walking depending on the weather conditions if they are triggers (mine are: low barometric pressure, increased ozone, moist/cold, moist/hot) is still a good, low impact exercise for those with asthma with the general recommendation to pre-treat prior to going for a walk.0 -
As bad as American tabloids can be, I'm shocked at how nasty British tabloids are. The stuff is way more offensive and over the top than its American counterparts IMO. This editorial is really offensive. Every person should be able to be happy in public without others judging him/her for appearance.
The reality is everyone who goes out in public is judged in one way or another. Weight just happens to be one way people are judged and even if you are buff sitting at ideal weight, you will still be judged. Most have the good graces not to verbalize exactly what they are thinking about another person. That's a good thing. The problem comes when those thoughts are verbalized, something that can and will happen if you do not conform to societal expectations.
This goes doubly so for women. How many times have we seen people say such-and-such a woman looks "too bulky" or "unfeminine" or "like a man," because she's got a low body fat percentage and fair amount of muscle tone? There's a lot more leeway for guys on that front, because guys are "supposed" to look more muscular, and it's not until you get into the single digits and bodybuilding figures that people start making the negative comments about men. For women, though? Heaven forbid you get under about 20% body fat with a good muscle base.
I think the body shaming on the lean end contributes a lot to the "normalizing" of the overweight end, especially for women, in part because it keeps women from doing some of the most effective exercises for the "bikini body" that so many say they want, for fear of becoming "manly."0 -
i haven't read any of the comments but i have this to say:
last night at the park, a man jogged past my son (4) and i and he said, mom, "he has a big belly."
i told him that while it may be true, to say something negative about someones appearance is NOT ok. postive comments are always appropriate, but negative, keep to yourself. and that i do not want to ever hear him say something mean about someone. it's rude and inappropriate and serves no good to anyone! and i told him the man was doing a great thing by exercising his body, just like we were.
(earlier in the day, my husband had told me that he (my son) had told a lady she was dressed like a boy), that is why i came down extra hard on him.
so my comment to my son who doesn't know better (but now does) should hold true for everyone: if it's negative, keep it to yourself. if it's positive, share away. it's called manners. most people should learn them and also teach them to their children!!!!0 -
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
Please outline the appropriate dress code according to age, weight, and gender. I would really like to see you come up with a universal "appropriate" dress code.
As long as someone is not breaking the indecent exposure laws, health code (i.e. shirts required in a restaurant), or specific dress code for work/school, they can wear whatever they want. Seriously, as entertaining as "the people of walmart" is, those people have every right to wear what they want.
I might look at someone and think "I would never wear that", but I would never presume to tell them that they shouldn't wear it.
Get over yourself. (Coming from someone who dresses modestly, so I'm not one of these girls in question)
Edited to add: You sound like the old ladies who judge people on what they wear to church, instead of appreciating the fact that they came at all. Don't be like that.
True they have a right to wear what they want BUT others have the right to judge what they wear. Simple, everyone is happy. Stores, restaurants and other places where the public are invited have the right to refuse service. If service is denied, the person then has the right to fight that decision but until the courts rule otherwise, that decision will stand and chances are very good the courts will rule against the person with the offending attire. Seriously, if a middle aged woman is going to go out in public looking like a street walker, then she is going to get treat like one whether that was her intentions or not. The bottom line is, if you don't conform to societal expectations, you will be penalized one way or another. Whether or not that is fair is a moot point since life is not fair in the first place.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
There is the option to ignore those writing posts full of grammatical errors just the same way as you can ignore folks in real life that irritate you. If you are offended by obese folks, shop where you know they don't shop. I've yet to see an obese person at the health food stores and farm stands I shop at. Or, you can just go about your business and ignore what you don't like. Life is to short to let such trivial matters get you down.0 -
Is this author normally snarky?0
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How ironic that someone with a profile picture of their bare midriff is telling others to "cover up appropriately". Just because you don't want to see something, doesn't mean somebody else doesn't. My man loves me dimples and all, would yours? Because we all get saggy sooner or later! Until then I'm gonna wear what I damn well please and be happy doing it! Get educated girl, check out Yale's Rudd Center, look into the available research on the effectiveness of shaming people thin. Doesn't work. Look around you, if it worked, the problem would be dissipating, not getting worse. People with your attitude are a part of the problem.0
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I agree with this and I still have 60 pounds to lose!!!!!!!!I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
Point delivered...strongly. Lol. You win.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
I don't mean to be picky, but do you know almost every single sentence in your response is a run-on sentence? It takes some effort to control grammar fascist tendencies. After many years, I've managed to keep my inner grammar fascist on a tight leash. You can do it, too.0 -
I will have to disagree with you here.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
My mom started gaining weight slowly in her early 30's. We all have been trying in the most supportive way to get her to eat a little less and healthier, but nothing worked. She was just getting bigger. At 56yo she was about 300lbs (5'7")
Then one day she met a classmate she hasn't seen in 10 years. He said something like: "Hey, look what you have done to yourself, you are so fat I didn't recognize you"
Was she mad? Hell yah!! She went home and cried for hours. But then she started desperately searching for a way to lose weight. In 1 year she lost 120lbs, now she has maintained for another year and says she will never go back to being fat. More because she feels much better health wise and enjoys life, but all started with a nasty comment0 -
Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.0
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