Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.
Replies
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I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
I don't mean to be picky, but do you know almost every single sentence in your response is a run-on sentence? It takes some effort to control grammar fascist tendencies. After many years, I've managed to keep my inner grammar fascist on a tight leash. You can do it, too.
/Whoooosh
That would be the satire train flying by.
Now, I will explain. The point was that someone with flaws (poor grammar) was harshly critisizing someone else with flaws (obesity). I used a style similar to the language of the poster but inserted one of her obvious flaws in place of the one she was upset about.
It was simply positing the idea that perhaps no one is perfect and that there might be a tiny chance that one might be served by examining the materials used to build ones house before throwing anything.0 -
If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.
Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
I don't mean to be picky, but do you know almost every single sentence in your response is a run-on sentence? It takes some effort to control grammar fascist tendencies. After many years, I've managed to keep my inner grammar fascist on a tight leash. You can do it, too.
/Whoooosh
That would be the satire train flying by.
Now, I will explain. The point was that someone with flaws (poor grammar) was harshly critisizing someone else with flaws (obesity). I used a style similar to the language of the poster but inserted one of her obvious flaws in place of the one she was upset about.
It was simply positing the idea that perhaps no one is perfect and that there might be a tiny chance that one might be served by examining the materials used to build ones house before throwing anything.
If you have not already found this self out, if you try to make posts like this, people will call you out on your grammar mistakes. You did seem to be responding to a poorly worded post. I am sorry if i made the mistake of taking you seriously.0 -
As a former "fatty" ,80 lbs heavier at my heaviest, I find myself being very harsh on those who do not help themselves and just keep making excuses. Since I have lived at that heavy weight, and since I know how much it sucks to barely be able to breath just to bend over and tie my shoelaces, since I know that actually, learning self discipline that comes with a healthy lifestyle will spill over into every area of life and since I know that there is no good quality of life once you pack on the pounds and get as heavy as I was (US women's size 16 mind you)....I find it hard to listen to ALL THE EXCUSES, No time, no money, no energy, too old, too fat, too sore, too hungry. I find it hard to listen to the endless complaints, THIS hurts or this hurts (though I cannot say 100% I know that at a minimum 50 % of those aches and pains would go away with healthy diet and exercise) the inability to do your share of work at work because "it wears you out" while you sit and SNACK all day on JUNK.
Its funny, because after I lost weight initially, no one remembered me as being FAT. The conclusion I came to is that I was never a FAT person because I was always active even when it was extremely difficult to do so. Most Fat people though, live like fat people. The ones I know now? They fight for the closest parking spot to anything, they ***** and fight over who has to get up and freaking walk across the work space....They drive to an event in town 3 blocks away! you know what I'm saying!?!?
Its inexcusable to not do anything about it. I don't have to fat shame anyone. If they want to make changes in their life, they come to me and ask honest questions and advice. The ones who initially ask but don't like my answer....well they keep on doing what they are doing.
I feel sorry for fat people, because I know what its like.0 -
In the Daily Fail:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2686676/Why-todays-young-women-unashamed-fat-Horrified-rolls-flesh-shes-witnessed-summer-LINDA-KELSEY-takes-no-prisoners.html
Obviously this is an opinion piece but I am quite uncomfortable with both the article and the comments (which involve body shaming at both ends of the spectrum, i.e 'fat people are gross' as well as 'only dogs like bones').
I was just wondering what people thought and if you have ever been guilty of body shaming (intentionally or otherwise)?
Also, given that no one is perfect and that people's view of what is beautiful is subjective, is it ever OK to comment on another person in this way or would it be different if this article had been written about a celebrity for example?
I'm guilty of body shaming towards myself. Negative self talk is not OK but it happens. As far as verbally body shaming others, no it is not ok but you can't control what others think either. Body shaming has been a societal issue for eons and not just directed at weight.
I body shame myself all the time. I am depressed...0 -
Perhaps because I have never been thin in my life, I think I wouldn't mind to be "shamed" if I were thin....0
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If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.
Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.
What beyond me is every time we made comment on certain celebrity's change of appearance, we are in danger of committing the "body shame" crime...0 -
I have decided not to give these kinds of idiots one minute of my valuable time - they are wrong, stupid, and not worth concerning myself with....
....as I have far too many problems of my own to deal with!0 -
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
Not everyone cares though. You could walk by me naked and while I'd notice (probably), I'd pretty quickly decide "Not my problem." I shock myself by how few fricks are given about harmless things other people do as I get older. Not because I'm such a good person. I think it's because I'm lazy.0 -
Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
I love you.0 -
what do you think all of MFP is looking at? You in your bikini. I would not call that keeping it in your yard.I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
Strange views you have there.0 -
0 -
thisShaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
I love you.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
I don't mean to be picky, but do you know almost every single sentence in your response is a run-on sentence? It takes some effort to control grammar fascist tendencies. After many years, I've managed to keep my inner grammar fascist on a tight leash. You can do it, too.
/Whoooosh
That would be the satire train flying by.
Now, I will explain. The point was that someone with flaws (poor grammar) was harshly critisizing someone else with flaws (obesity). I used a style similar to the language of the poster but inserted one of her obvious flaws in place of the one she was upset about.
It was simply positing the idea that perhaps no one is perfect and that there might be a tiny chance that one might be served by examining the materials used to build ones house before throwing anything.
If you have not already found this self out, if you try to make posts like this, people will call you out on your grammar mistakes. You did seem to be responding to a poorly worded post. I am sorry if i made the mistake of taking you seriously.
Its not a matter of taking her seriously - You are entirely missing the point her post was making.
Forget about being a grammar Nazi for a minute and think about what the post was actually doing.0 -
I will have to disagree with you here.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
My mom started gaining weight slowly in her early 30's. We all have been trying in the most supportive way to get her to eat a little less and healthier, but nothing worked. She was just getting bigger. At 56yo she was about 300lbs (5'7")
Then one day she met a classmate she hasn't seen in 10 years. He said something like: "Hey, look what you have done to yourself, you are so fat I didn't recognize you"
Was she mad? Hell yah!! She went home and cried for hours. But then she started desperately searching for a way to lose weight. In 1 year she lost 120lbs, now she has maintained for another year and says she will never go back to being fat. More because she feels much better health wise and enjoys life, but all started with a nasty comment
I did say "nearly all people" - as I knew someone would have an exception.
However, I still think nearly all people learn all things better by positive encouragement, as I said before.
Its great that your mum lost weight - but I hope nobody uses your mother's story as an excuse to make nasty comments to people thinking the yare 'helping'0 -
Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
0 -
thisShaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.
I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.
I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.
The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).
yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.
These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs
I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.
I love you.
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and who is anynody to judge what is appropriate for another person to wear? Especially an adult?Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.
they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.
nobody but that adult.
just because you lose weight and get hot doesn't mean you have to become a sour angry judgemental person.0 -
If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.
Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.
No that's not it.
Nothing wrong with stating you find slim girls or large girls or long hair or whatever, attractive - its when you (not you personally) say things like they should dress 'appropriately' meaning how you want them to or should change to be how you want them to be or should stay at home or not be seen in public enjoying themselves etc because their body is not attractive to you - or you attribute moral characteristics to their physical shape (fat people are lazy, disrespectful etc) - that's when it crosses the line into body shaming.0 -
Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.
"Other people are not here to decorate your world" - I love this. What a great sentence. :flowerforyou:
Will remember that one.0 -
If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.
Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.
No that's not it.
Nothing wrong with stating you find slim girls or large girls or long hair or whatever, attractive - its when you (not you personally) say things like they should dress 'appropriately' meaning how you want them to or should change to be how you want them to be or should stay at home or not be seen in public enjoying themselves etc because their body is not attractive to you - or you attribute moral characteristics to their physical shape (fat people are lazy, disrespectful etc) - that's when it crosses the line into body shaming.
Simple. To the point. Brilliant?
Yes. Yes it is.0 -
(1) I don't really like this buzzwords like body shaming. I feel like they take away from us just talking about real issues like real human beings. I try to focus on each individual instance and not on some general buzzword term that tries to cover everything and just misses the whole point.
(2)People have the right to comment on whatever they want to comment on and we have the right not to like it. Sure, everybody has different things that they find attractive, but let's be honest with ourselves, in America there is a certain range of sizes that is considered more attractive than certain other ranges. We all know this.
(3)I read this article and to me it just sounded like she was being a total *****. She was upset that the fat women were actually happy and having fun. Does she expect them to be miserable 24/7? Just because they were enjoying themselves in that moment doesn't mean that they don't want to change their bodies. Just because they were wearing shorts doesn't mean that they were flaunting anything. It's hot outside. Of course people are going to be in shorts.0 -
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
0 -
I think the author went too far. What's the point in insulting people?
I can only speak from experience, but the only way I have dug my way out of obesity is to educate myself and make smarter decisions about what/how much food I eat and how much physical activity I get - and BE AWARE of it every single day and I've worked really hard!
What good does this woman's criticism do? None. Why can't she use her writing skills to write an article, using the same photographs, to be more educating about being healthy and fitness instead of just being plain mean.0 -
If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.
Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.
It's an issue because not everyone is comfortable in their own skin like you are, and the comments might do more harm than good. And body shaming isn't having an opinion on another body, it's criticizing another based on appearance relating to your personal standards or beauty/acceptable weight/dress. It's usually derogatory in nature.
I'm (finally) at a place in my life that I don't care what other people think of my body - I like it, and I'm busting my hump to like it more every day. I just checked out my *kitten* after my shower and thought "damn, that's nice" - a year ago I never would have considered complimenting myself like that, and thinking such a thing would have shamed me because I wasn't thin enough to think anything about myself was sexy.
That's after years of negative self talk - so I'm pretty damned proud of myself.
So I'll just leave this here.
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I think everyone's pretty much covered this topic, and beyond the fact that the article is horribly offensive to anyone of any size, I seem to be the only one who noticed one thing:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/07/09/article-2686676-08AA7132000005DC-385_634x404.jpg
is...is that ice cream? with a churro stabbed into it? Why? I don't understand why anyone would put a churro in an ice cream cone.
Beyond my momentary confusion of that lady's dessert choice, I was bullied into overeating as a little one by my older brother, who was taking his anger at our neglectful, dangerous situation on me (I'll spare you the details but we had a terrible time as kids.) And when I started to gain weight because of his bullying, he started to body-shame me, causing me to comfort-eat more and more and more. I think the effects of body-shaming are increasingly obvious in both older and younger folk everywhere; some women who are overweight will starve themselves, kill themselves, or overeat more, some people who are underweight take to drastic measures as well. Neither of them are healthy at all. Body-shaming causes obesity, bulimia, suicides, and far too many tears. From the media as well as everyday people. I get fat-shamed daily by customers at my job because all around them are pictures from companies like Ambercrombie & Fitch, and Polo Ralph Lauren, and they see me in my little hat and apron serving food and they decide to shame me for not being like those posters. I really try not to let it get to me.0 -
I think everyone's pretty much covered this topic, and beyond the fact that the article is horribly offensive to anyone of any size, I seem to be the only one who noticed one thing:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/07/09/article-2686676-08AA7132000005DC-385_634x404.jpg
is...is that ice cream? with a churro stabbed into it? Why? I don't understand why anyone would put a churro in an ice cream cone.
Beyond my momentary confusion of that lady's dessert choice, I was bullied into overeating as a little one by my older brother, who was taking his anger at our neglectful, dangerous situation on me (I'll spare you the details but we had a terrible time as kids.) And when I started to gain weight because of his bullying, he started to body-shame me, causing me to comfort-eat more and more and more. I think the effects of body-shaming are increasingly obvious in both older and younger folk everywhere; some women who are overweight will starve themselves, kill themselves, or overeat more, some people who are underweight take to drastic measures as well. Neither of them are healthy at all. Body-shaming causes obesity, bulimia, suicides, and far too many tears. From the media as well as everyday people. I get fat-shamed daily by customers at my job because all around them are pictures from companies like Ambercrombie & Fitch, and Polo Ralph Lauren, and they see me in my little hat and apron serving food and they decide to shame me for not being like those posters. I really try not to let it get to me.
It's a 99 ice cream cone, basically a cone with a chocolate flake stuck in it. They are very popular in the UK and can be brought from most ice cream vans.0 -
I see where you're coming from but I completely disagree with you...Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.
You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.
What you do tell them:
You're worthwhile.
You can do something.
I'm willing to help you.
How shall we start?
This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?
I've been fat all my life because emotional binge eating was a way to deal with childhood trauma. I had been on diet programs for years, constantly told by my mother that I was never working hard enough and that I was unattractive and wouldn't get a boyfriend (False) or a job (false again).
It wasn't until this year, after battling with depression and a suicide attempt, that I could finally see myself as worthwhile. If someone had said to me that I can do something about it and that I was worth the effort, I might not have ended up as fat as I became. But all everyone did was tell me how my obesity was a moral failing rather than a result of an unhealthy relationship with food and emotions.
Learning that I have value is the only thing that gets me to go the gym. Yelling at me and telling me how I need to work harder and "drop the excuses" (I know you probably didn't mean it but it has a condescending tone) would only lead me back to the pantry.0 -
I agree with the article.
i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.
Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?
And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?
Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.
If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."
Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.
I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.
However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.
I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.
if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.
EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!
I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!
Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.
I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.
You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.
I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.
What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?
Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!
I don't mean to be picky, but do you know almost every single sentence in your response is a run-on sentence? It takes some effort to control grammar fascist tendencies. After many years, I've managed to keep my inner grammar fascist on a tight leash. You can do it, too.
/Whoooosh
That would be the satire train flying by.
Now, I will explain. The point was that someone with flaws (poor grammar) was harshly critisizing someone else with flaws (obesity). I used a style similar to the language of the poster but inserted one of her obvious flaws in place of the one she was upset about.
It was simply positing the idea that perhaps no one is perfect and that there might be a tiny chance that one might be served by examining the materials used to build ones house before throwing anything.
If you have not already found this self out, if you try to make posts like this, people will call you out on your grammar mistakes. You did seem to be responding to a poorly worded post. I am sorry if i made the mistake of taking you seriously.
Its not a matter of taking her seriously - You are entirely missing the point her post was making.
Forget about being a grammar Nazi for a minute and think about what the post was actually doing.
It was being hilarious, that's what it was doing.0
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