Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.

I agree with the article.

i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.

Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?

And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?

Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.

If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."

Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.

I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.

However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.

I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.

if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.

EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!

WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!

I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!

Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.

I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.

Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.

You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.

What you do tell them:

You're worthwhile.

You can do something.

I'm willing to help you.

How shall we start?

This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?

The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.

I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.

I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.

Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.

The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).

yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.

These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs

I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.

I love you.

I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.

I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.

I will have to disagree with you here.
My mom started gaining weight slowly in her early 30's. We all have been trying in the most supportive way to get her to eat a little less and healthier, but nothing worked. She was just getting bigger. At 56yo she was about 300lbs (5'7")

Then one day she met a classmate she hasn't seen in 10 years. He said something like: "Hey, look what you have done to yourself, you are so fat I didn't recognize you"

Was she mad? Hell yah!! She went home and cried for hours. But then she started desperately searching for a way to lose weight. In 1 year she lost 120lbs, now she has maintained for another year and says she will never go back to being fat. More because she feels much better health wise and enjoys life, but all started with a nasty comment

Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.

You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.

What you do tell them:

You're worthwhile.

You can do something.

I'm willing to help you.

How shall we start?

This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?

The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.

I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.

I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.

Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.

The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).

yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.

These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs

I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.

I love you.

this

If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.

Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.

If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.

Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.

No that's not it.

Nothing wrong with stating you find slim girls or large girls or long hair or whatever, attractive - its when you (not you personally) say things like they should dress 'appropriately' meaning how you want them to or should change to be how you want them to be or should stay at home or not be seen in public enjoying themselves etc because their body is not attractive to you - or you attribute moral characteristics to their physical shape (fat people are lazy, disrespectful etc) - that's when it crosses the line into body shaming.

You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.

I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.

What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?

Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!

If by "body shaming" you mean vocalizing an opinion with regards to either someone elses or my own physical appearance then yeah, guilty of that.

Why is that an issue though. Are we all so sensitive that we cannot handle the idea that other people may have opinions about our appearance? I am well aware that some percentage of the population would likely find me unattractive yet I seem to manage. If I get to a state where I feel like a large percentage of the population would find me unattractive that might serve in part as motivation to get into shape.

I think everyone's pretty much covered this topic, and beyond the fact that the article is horribly offensive to anyone of any size, I seem to be the only one who noticed one thing:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/07/09/article-2686676-08AA7132000005DC-385_634x404.jpg
is...is that ice cream? with a churro stabbed into it? Why? I don't understand why anyone would put a churro in an ice cream cone.

Beyond my momentary confusion of that lady's dessert choice, I was bullied into overeating as a little one by my older brother, who was taking his anger at our neglectful, dangerous situation on me (I'll spare you the details but we had a terrible time as kids.) And when I started to gain weight because of his bullying, he started to body-shame me, causing me to comfort-eat more and more and more. I think the effects of body-shaming are increasingly obvious in both older and younger folk everywhere; some women who are overweight will starve themselves, kill themselves, or overeat more, some people who are underweight take to drastic measures as well. Neither of them are healthy at all. Body-shaming causes obesity, bulimia, suicides, and far too many tears. From the media as well as everyday people. I get fat-shamed daily by customers at my job because all around them are pictures from companies like Ambercrombie & Fitch, and Polo Ralph Lauren, and they see me in my little hat and apron serving food and they decide to shame me for not being like those posters. I really try not to let it get to me.

I agree with the article.

i was talking about this with my bf the other night, the young generation is mostly fat and they dont care. They are developing unhealthy life styles, it is gross to see rolls and dimples.

Who wants to spend their prime being unhealthy?

And why should the cost of our health care increase simply because people dont care about themselves?

Obesity should be warred on just like cigarettes and drugs, it is an overwhelming epidemic and a sad statement on how society is losing respect for itself.

If it takes shame to make people aware so be it. I wont coddle "feelings."

Put the chips down, cover up approropriately and get on a life style change.

I have not read the article - hard to open links on my ipad.

However, comments like "it is gross to see rolls and dimples" and people should "cover up appropriately" are not comments about health - they are comments about appearance.

I agree that obesity is a growing health problem and it needs to be addressed - but how people look and what they wear is not the issue - the health implications are.
Somebody obese and covered up is just as much at risk health wise as somebody wearing a crochet bikini.

if what we (we as in writers of articles or posters on MFP or anyone else publicly commenting) are concerned about are health issues, we need to make sure our comments are about health issues, not about appearance or clothing choices.

EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!

WE ALL need to dress for our size, age and body type!

I dont leave my yard in my bikinni you know why? I have stretch marks, am I ashamed of my stretch marks? NO but they are MINE and the whole world does not need to see them, when I am swimming in public I wear a mom appropriate bathin suit, why? Because I am a MOTHER! And almost 40!

Just my opinion. If you think you can be a size 18 and up and rock the sexy clothes and people dont think it is gross you are wrong. It is disrespectful and tasteless looking. If you meet new people they wont see your lovely personality, they will remeber you as the fat person in a bikini with rolls everywhere.

I am not trying to be mean, just speaking the truth, the world is shallow. Take care of yourself. If you want to live in the make believe land of fat acceptence and everyone is outwardly gorgeous then go for it, but I will not coddle the obese and if I go back there I hope I have an honest enough friend to kick me in the *kitten* and tell me to get back on the wago rather than telling me fat is beautiful and I have a pretty face.

You know what I find really disgusting to look at? Terrible grammar. I find it gross, it makes message boards more difficult to read for the rest of us that have worked so hard to have good grammar, and it is costing me additional tax dollars because when children see adults using bad grammar they think it is OK and therefore, we have to pay more money for additional schooling.

I'm not being mean, just honest. People who are bad with the English language need to put in the work, pay the tuition to go back to school, and stop making the rest of us look at their horrible grammar until they do something about it. It's going to be hard, but it's important because it is the only way to demonstrate your intelligence on the internet.

What other reason could there be for their bad grammar, other than laziness?!? The rest of us learned it in elementary school! Every time I see one of those morons listening to their ipods and not reading a book, I want to throw up! I mean, how dare they read a magazine when they could be improving their obvious deficiency?

Coddling these terrible, lazy people will not help them. We have to confront them with their idiocy to help them change!

I don't mean to be picky, but do you know almost every single sentence in your response is a run-on sentence? It takes some effort to control grammar fascist tendencies. After many years, I've managed to keep my inner grammar fascist on a tight leash. You can do it, too.

/Whoooosh

That would be the satire train flying by.

Now, I will explain. The point was that someone with flaws (poor grammar) was harshly critisizing someone else with flaws (obesity). I used a style similar to the language of the poster but inserted one of her obvious flaws in place of the one she was upset about.

It was simply positing the idea that perhaps no one is perfect and that there might be a tiny chance that one might be served by examining the materials used to build ones house before throwing anything.

If you have not already found this self out, if you try to make posts like this, people will call you out on your grammar mistakes. You did seem to be responding to a poorly worded post. I am sorry if i made the mistake of taking you seriously.

Its not a matter of taking her seriously - You are entirely missing the point her post was making.

Forget about being a grammar Nazi for a minute and think about what the post was actually doing.