Do i have the right to be upset?

Chibukalu908 · July 2014

My long distance bf was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only available on weekends .As for my job,i a work every second weekend.

I was suppose to work this weekend so I had to get someone else at work to switch shifts with. The lady is going to work my weekend for me and I am going to work the following weekend for her which is overnights. I coudnt find anyone else so I just accepted her overnights shifts even though I hate working nights .I just wanted to be free and spend time with my bf .However, my bf texted me last night and told me that he is not coming anymore because he had a big fight with his mom and he is really mad and he is not in the mood anymore. He told me that he is sorry and ask me to understand.

I am crushed because for one, i had to go through trouble and inconvenience of switching my shifts from work with someone so I can see him.Since I already signed the approval forms I cant really go back to the lady and say never mind lets switch back the shifts.I now have to work overnights shifts for nothing which is going to be hard since I cant sleep well during the day. I told him all this and he didn't respond to my texts.I even tried calling him to see if i can convince him to still come and he didn't answer so it sounds like his mind is made up. I just feel like his excuse is weak for not coming to see me and obviously I cant see him next weekend since I have to work overnight shifts for the lady from work and the following weekend after is my regular weekend to work. I am I overreacting?

blueboxgeek · July 2014

How long have you been having a distance relationship?

I would be pretty upset too, but honestly, the not replying to my texts or calls when I told him I was upset would actually pee me off more than anything.

Hope you can get it sorted x

_John_ · July 2014

*assumes you're American and checks constitution.

Yep, you have the right to be upset. There are limitations on how you may express this however which may need to be covered later.

BigT555 · July 2014

long distance sucks, been there, done that. there are going to be situations like this, you just have to deal with it.

id say you have a right to be sad but not mad, he has to drive to see you so why make the drive if he wont enjoy himself.

can you perhaps drive to his place?

iLoveMyPitbull1225 · July 2014

honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.

k8blujay2 · July 2014

I would be upset... but then when I was in an LDR it actually required one of us to be picked up at the airport.

Chibukalu908 · July 2014

long distance sucks, been there, done that. there are going to be situations like this, you just have to deal with it.

id say you have a right to be sad but not mad, he has to drive to see you so why make the drive if he wont enjoy himself.

can you perhaps drive to his place?

we live 4 hours away from each other and he was going to take a train to come to see me

Chibukalu908 · July 2014

honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.

yeah something does not sound right.

that's what my sister said,she thinks its an excuse

JeriAnne84 · July 2014

Yeah I think he's lying to you, because he had a fight with his mom and is mad? Why wouldn't he want to get out of there and spend time with you and not be around her?

You have every right to be mad. Not Lorena Bobbit mad, but miffed.

BigT555 · July 2014

long distance sucks, been there, done that. there are going to be situations like this, you just have to deal with it.

id say you have a right to be sad but not mad, he has to drive to see you so why make the drive if he wont enjoy himself.

can you perhaps drive to his place?

we live 4 hours away from each other and he was going to take a train to come to see me

same question then. can you not take the train to see him? hes the one travelling, he has a right to decide whether he wants to or not

honestly this is one of the major reasons i will never to a LDR ever again, let alone just having to travel to see someone, situations like these arise where plans are cancelled and theres always some sort of fallout

CaddieMay · July 2014

He sounds immature, and possibly dishonest. Break it off now and save yourself further heartache.

TheRoadDog · July 2014

Apparently, his priorities differ from yours.

baba_helly · July 2014

You can be upset for whatever reason you want, you are not required to react a certain way to the situation. Would I be upset if this were my experience? Yes, I would be disappointed and it would bother me if my communication attempts were ignored.

happysherri · July 2014

You always have the right to feel the way you feel. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently. (I know it sounds cliche, but so true.)

Truthfully, I would be upset too. I've never done the long distance thing and don't think I could. I know others that it works for, but not me.

I'm very cautious when it comes to my heart and unfortunately will probably never totally fall for someone ever again. I was married 10 years and been divorced about 8 years. -My brain tends to take over almost all my decisions and my heart takes a back seat.

GoodLuck

Jess__I__Can · July 2014

Break up.

Do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

CupcakeCrusoe · July 2014

I'm in an LDR. Sometimes things don't work out. Stuff sucks. But if he's really ticked at his current situation, he doesn't want to share that attitude with you maybe?

However, the not responding to calls is not the right way to handle it. No more begging for him to come down, just tell him how ticked you now are at his uncommunicative-ness. That's a word. Yeah.

Lemongrab13 · July 2014

He's either really immature, or he's full of *kitten*.
He fought with his mom so he can't come?
Is he a teenager?

Jess__I__Can · July 2014

You always have the right to feel the way you feel.

This. Your feelings are just that - YOURS.

Laurenloveswaffles · July 2014

How old is he? If he still lives with his momma, then you probably shouldn't be dating him. Especially since you're 29.

It sounds like he's lying. Dump him.

I'm in a long distance relationship, and it does suck. But we are making it work.

Jlew64 · July 2014

honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.

yeah something does not sound right.

that's what my sister said,she thinks its an excuse

Listen to your sister! What does a fight with mom have to do with seeing you? And then not responding to you? BIG red flag.

rml_16 · July 2014

I would be angry, too. Not sure what you can do about it. Maybe get together with girlfriends and enjoy your time off.

Espressocycle · July 2014

DTMFA

Behxo · July 2014

You'd think having a fight with his mom he'd WANT to get out of the house even more to come see his loved one away from the stress he apparently just went through... not stay in to just be mad and upset. :huh: Yes, I would be mad as well because it sounds like a load, especially since you had to make sacrifices and have probably waited a long time just to see him again.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym · July 2014

you have the right to feel any way you feel, because they are your feels.... that said, if he is sincerely upset, maybe try to be more understanding? And, if you can't, maybe rethink the relationship.

Unknown · July 2014

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cosmiqrust · July 2014

that's a hell of a flimsy excuse. do you happen to be dating a mama's boy? because those never end well.

heidispideymfp · July 2014

What does his fighting with his mother have to do with him visiting you? I don't see a connection...and not replying to you is downright rude and not how to treat someone you care about.
I'd be pretty upset, if I were in your shoes.

Mikkimeow · July 2014

Sounds like he had a fight with his mom and it ruined his mood. That sounds normal. IPO, I wouldn't be mad. Things happen.

UsedToBeHusky · July 2014

Honestly, what I would do (and my opinion really doesn't matter much), I would stop all communication with him. Make other plans for your weekend, and enjoy! If he cares, he will call you. In the meantime, just don't think about it. Call up a girlfriend and have a blast! Make a day trip to the beach if you can or some other excursion. Don't sit at home alone just because he isn't coming.

americangirlok · July 2014

If I just had a huge fight w/ a coworker or family member and was hacked off, a weekend away would be even more welcome than ordinary! But that's my game, if I get away maybe the problem will go away when I get back.

Yes you have a right to be upset. Feelings are what they are, they aren't something you have to have a "right" to have. How you handle it, well that's up to you.

I'd be hurt, I don't know the guy to know if he's lying or not. I do know that guys don't generally overthink things as much as girls do. Maybe he does feel like he wants to unplug and not feel like he needs to entertain you when he doesn't feel up to it? I guess at some point you talk to him and you either trust him and accept this or you don't. But I'd still be bummed and a little annoyed b/c I shifted my life around to accommodate you, b/c I make you a priority and the fact that you didn't, it would sting, w/out a doubt it'd hurt.

I'm sorry though

RobynDCrossman · July 2014

Do you have the right? Sure.
Are you justified (in my opinion)? Probably not.

People have bad days/bad times.
It seems your relationship is LD but sufficient enough for quick trips.
I married my LDR - and it involved 8 hour plane rides every 3 months.

So, if a person is having a bad time and wishes to NOT take it out on you, consider yourself lucky.
You wouldn't want him around and annoyed - especially when it can be rescheduled.

Take it as it is, don't build it into something else.

Do i have the right to be upset?

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