Can your SO access your phone?

This...

I'm so baffled by the idea that someone would ask their SO what they did/who they talked to that day and if they talked about anything interesting and then still look thru the phone...I do not believe it's because they are both curious people, I think there may be some trust/control issues, but that's just my opinion.

It is just your opinion. There aren't trust or control issues. We are very open with one another and it's not an issue for us. I can understand that it is something that is an issue for other people, but not for us.

Neither of us have anything to hide. We've been together for seven years and we always talk out our problems and things that are bothering us. During the early stages of our relationship we didn't do that as much and it became an issue, but a very long time ago we decided to be more open with one another and share almost everything. He tells me when he has a problem with something that I do, and he doesn't have a problem with me looking at his text messages and I don't have a problem with him looking at mine. That's it. So I don't see what the big problem is here.

Just because you look at messages, that doesn't mean that there are larger issues. I think if there were previous suspicions that one another had, or if we were doing it behind one anothers back, then yes, that would indicate that a larger problem is afoot. But there isn't one.

I understand that looking at one anothers messages can be a problem for some couples because either one or both parties don't like it and they feel their privacy is being invaded. But for me and my bf, we don't have a boundary like that. So it's a non-issue. That's all.

If I were to hound his Facebook, his emails, message his work buddies all of the time and start tracking his moves, then there would be a problem. But it's literally just me picking up his phone, in front of his face, where he can easily stop me or freak out, but he doesn't. That's all there is to it.

And I trust my husband 100% and I can go to him with absolutely anything. We have been married 8 years, together for 18 and have never had an argument. We disagree but we have never yelled at each other, stomped off in anger or anything like that. And while I have stated he has access to my phone and vice versa I have never felt the need to just start going through his text messages for no good reason. And that's what I'm not understanding is why the need to do that?

It's just in my nature. You can say that me just being curious is bull****, and based on your experienced with your husband I can understand why you'd say that, but that's literally all it is. I can't give you another explanation because there isn't one.

I don't do it because I feel the need to make sure that he's talking to people that I deem appropriate, it's nothing like that. I've never been insecure in our relationship like that and he hasn't either. This is just something that happens.

But how can you be curious when he's already told you what's in it? That's what's baffling to me.

Lol because he doesn't quote word for word. He'll say something like, "I dunno, I just talked to Nigel."

Anyways. I have to stop responding here because I think I am going to go insane.

That is your best post yet!

This...

I'm so baffled by the idea that someone would ask their SO what they did/who they talked to that day and if they talked about anything interesting and then still look thru the phone...I do not believe it's because they are both curious people, I think there may be some trust/control issues, but that's just my opinion.

It is just your opinion. There aren't trust or control issues. We are very open with one another and it's not an issue for us. I can understand that it is something that is an issue for other people, but not for us.

Neither of us have anything to hide. We've been together for seven years and we always talk out our problems and things that are bothering us. During the early stages of our relationship we didn't do that as much and it became an issue, but a very long time ago we decided to be more open with one another and share almost everything. He tells me when he has a problem with something that I do, and he doesn't have a problem with me looking at his text messages and I don't have a problem with him looking at mine. That's it. So I don't see what the big problem is here.

Just because you look at messages, that doesn't mean that there are larger issues. I think if there were previous suspicions that one another had, or if we were doing it behind one anothers back, then yes, that would indicate that a larger problem is afoot. But there isn't one.

I understand that looking at one anothers messages can be a problem for some couples because either one or both parties don't like it and they feel their privacy is being invaded. But for me and my bf, we don't have a boundary like that. So it's a non-issue. That's all.

If I were to hound his Facebook, his emails, message his work buddies all of the time and start tracking his moves, then there would be a problem. But it's literally just me picking up his phone, in front of his face, where he can easily stop me or freak out, but he doesn't. That's all there is to it.

And I trust my husband 100% and I can go to him with absolutely anything. We have been married 8 years, together for 18 and have never had an argument. We disagree but we have never yelled at each other, stomped off in anger or anything like that. And while I have stated he has access to my phone and vice versa I have never felt the need to just start going through his text messages for no good reason. And that's what I'm not understanding is why the need to do that?

It's just in my nature. You can say that me just being curious is bull****, and based on your experienced with your husband I can understand why you'd say that, but that's literally all it is. I can't give you another explanation because there isn't one.

I don't do it because I feel the need to make sure that he's talking to people that I deem appropriate, it's nothing like that. I've never been insecure in our relationship like that and he hasn't either. This is just something that happens.

But how can you be curious when he's already told you what's in it? That's what's baffling to me.

Lol because he doesn't quote word for word. He'll say something like, "I dunno, I just talked to Nigel."

I don't lock my phone...I'd probably forget the access code then even I wouldn't have access to it.

i think its ****ing nuts that people commit to sharing their lives and beds with someone but not their phones. wtf.

I think it's ****ing nuts that someone would demand to read my private conversations at all times.

i think its ****ing nuts that people commit to sharing their lives and beds with someone but not their phones. wtf.

I don't even understand why one person would answer the phone/text message for another person. If I'm calling John about something, why would I want his wife or SO to answer?? If he can't answer at the moment, let it roll into voicemail and he can call me back. But why should I have to have a conversation with a person I didn't call in the first place?