Dumped for being 'TOO FAT" :(

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Replies

  • Tugar4440
    Tugar4440 Posts: 9 Member
    How can someone dump you just because you gained a little weight?

    Because he is jerk. You lost the zero, now go get a hero.

    It feels hopeless....it isn't. Do what makes you happy. Things will sort themselves out. I am married for the first and only time. Didn't meet my wife until I was 35.
  • annko65
    annko65 Posts: 18 Member
    It seems that many of us in here (and out there) included myself, at some point in our lives have been where you are now and yet we have all survived and moved on with our lives!

    You are truly a beautiful woman and make this time of your life your chance to improve yourself and be who you were or who you want to be! Nag, cry, shout, break things, run, un load and take it all out of your chest, but don't let this situation bring you down.

    Why would you want him back? Give me a good reason!

    And let me repeat what everyone else has said so far! Lose weight because you want to improve your health or to prevent health issues, lose weight because you want to get into those skinny jeans, lose weight because you want to boost your self esteem and feel more confident, lose weight because you want to look your best, lose weight FOR YOU and no one else.

    There are amazing people in this board and you saw that for yourself! We are all saying the same thing to you and we don't know each other and that should say something to you! Chin up girl and move on with your beautiful life and if it's not beautiful, MAKE IT!!!
  • Jdolphin42
    Jdolphin42 Posts: 24 Member
    I am so sorry that you have to go through this pain now, but truly, it's better to find out what an idiot he is now, instead of being his fiance or wife down the road! Yes, it hurts and each of us women that knows what you're feeling right now is sending you virtual hugs! Think of this time as a chance to focus on YOU! If you want to lose weight, both for your back and cosmetic reasons, then go for it! If you are are happy the way you are, then stay the way you are! You need a partner who will love you through the thick and thin...including yours! Best wishes to you!
  • Jdolphin42
    Jdolphin42 Posts: 24 Member
    I respectfully disagree with your comment, but I do have a question. Wouldn't you want to be with some who loved you at any weight, with gray hair or your natural color?
  • chrissywelsh10
    chrissywelsh10 Posts: 66 Member
    I have read through the comments - all of them and all the sentiments you should take in.

    Also the fact he left says more about him that it will every say about you. For me I think you have already lost the biggest amount of dead weight you can in the form of your ex.

    At this point in time - be gentle with yourself - put yourself first and look after number one (at least for a while). Weight is just 1 part of the self esteem puzzle, I hear you want to loose weight and get him back, but loose it for you, to be healthy. While your on this journey really think about what makes you happy and seek it out, become your own person again.

    If there is 1 piece of advice I can ever really stress though its this: Don't call/ text or otherwise contact him. If you really want to show him what you are made off leave him alone. This gives you back the control of your own life and shows you do not need him. Trust me its a powerful tool which will make you feel stronger over time.

    I wish I could give you a massive hug :(
  • LiezelPretoriusL
    LiezelPretoriusL Posts: 2 Member
    Hi :smile:

    I am also new to this site... and this is the first post I read...

    Don't make yourself the problem to someone else's personal issues... I can tell you that its not even about your weight... this man has issues...

    See it as a gift that you are now single again. This is your opportunity to get yourself fit and happy!!! Do it for yourself, start loving what you see in the mirror and then you will find someone else again... Only then you will feel empowered. You will know who you are and what you want!

    From your foto alone I can see that you wont have to wait to long before someone that is much more suited for you will ask you out again.

    Today is the first day to your new life... ENJOY it..
  • adityamohan
    adityamohan Posts: 3
    hi,

    make 1 thing clear in mind that 1 pound fat approx. equal to 3500 calories,

    and as you say you have to loose 80 pounds means 80x3500= 2,80,000 calories.

    for a healthy weight loose its suggested to loose only 2 lbs in a week,

    but all tries to loose more, as this is a game of calorie gain and loss,


    plan your diet strongly, i am also doing the same.

    drink warm water as hot as tea,
    take dark black coffee,
    do cardio exercise(1.5-2.5 hrs daily).
    rope jogging.


    your body needs at least 1700 calories for your basic needs,
    try to loose 300-400 calories in exercise and take at-most 1200-1400 calories

    so the difference goes to 300+300(basic need difference) = 600

    in a week = 4200 means and in a month approx 16000 calories. means 4.5 lbs in 1 month.

    and that is really great.


    and as i see u in snap u are a beautiful lady, be strong.




    and about your boyfriend i just want to say that tell him that love and affection is independent of age and weight, you have that for him but is he have same feeling for you.
  • kittee83
    kittee83 Posts: 38 Member
    Sending you gentle virtual hugs hun xxx

    Look after yourself. Give yourself a cuddle, and keep going. Get out of bed in the morning, cry while taking a shower, let out some tears while drinking your coffee, but keep going.

    Love yourself hun, and know that we are all with you here xxx
  • bukowski_shine
    bukowski_shine Posts: 70 Member
    Why is he a jerk or arsehole if he isn't comfortable with a fat person?
  • Laura100AC
    Laura100AC Posts: 29 Member
    Even if he did say he is sorry and wants you back, you shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't accept you for exactly who you are, weight gain or not.

    If you want to lose weight do it for you and nobody else.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    It's a blessing in disguise. You have different values to him.

    Better now than if you had put on weight during or after pregnancy.
  • mzbek24
    mzbek24 Posts: 436 Member
    I know how you feel, but at the end of the day there's no point, I feel, in you trying to do this for him to take you back. DO THIS FOR YOU.

    He has shown his true colours, and what he values. Attraction is important to a relationship, yes. But if he can't see enough worth or have enough patience to hold it together while you lose weight gained due to a fricken injury, then he does not truly love you for who you are. And at the end of the day you deserve a man who does. Do not be afraid of not finding someone else. That's no reason to want to stay with a man who makes you feel so bad about yourself. I hope that you find someone much better when you have had time to heal and improve for yourself! I bet you will, I mean look at that beautiful face! this guy has no idea lol.

    Above all else, you deserve to feel like your love is not contingent on your looks, and be on egg shells always trying to stay in perfect shape just to please him and keep him there. We are all going to get old and wrinkly one day. And who is to say that he wouldn't walk out on you again on something else, like getting older or gaining any weight or if you ever had another injury?

    They say the best revenge is success. So my recommendation is to move forward and use this as motivational fuel if you want to, but accept that he has chosen to leave. Who knows? it could be the best thing that ever happened to you. It was like that with my ex and at the time I felt I'd never love anyone as much. Now I'm like "Oh thank god!" lol.
    Take care of yourself, do what is going to make you happy in the long term. Try not to dwell on it, keep busy, explore hobbies and fitness goals, get adequate sleep and eat well, avoid excess alcohol and develop good supportive networks of friends, family, mfp friends around you. You can do it! believe in yourself and good luck :)
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
    Why is he a jerk or arsehole if he isn't comfortable with a fat person?

    Because he's SHALLOW. That might be ok for some people, but it's not a quality I would EVER want in someone I was going to date. But I guess my standards may be different than others'.
  • rodduz
    rodduz Posts: 251 Member
    Get ripped and stick to fingers up to him when he looks at you and thinks, 's*it... I f*cked up!'
  • logg1e
    logg1e Posts: 1,208 Member
    I think your weight is an excuse, not a reason, for him finishing you. Be prepared for another woman to suddenly appear very, very quickly.

    You have to move on, at least to the outside world. I know it's difficult but do not contact him, do not declare your love for him. It's not like he's exactly going to change his mind because your feelings are deeper than his, is it? You've already lost the biggest amount of unwanted weight you'll ever lose in your life.
  • mtnbluezgirl
    mtnbluezgirl Posts: 12 Member
    35? And afraid you won't meet someone else! Girlfriend....smile. You are young enough to meet the right one....as this jerk was obviously not it. Get healthy. I'm 46 and finally getting control of a life long weight problem. Healthy is the key. Looking totally hot is the revenge. NEXT!
  • amjmom
    amjmom Posts: 32
    If he dumped you for that then he did not really love you and was just looking for a reason to leave. I am 39. My husband has stuck by me for 20 years. And weights ranging from 160 to my heaviest 285. All he has ever said to me at that weight is that he wanted me to lose weight so I could be healthy and so I could be happy. I think you are better off without this guy. I know it hurts but the pain will ease with time. Make the weightloss something you are doing for yourself not for someone else.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
    Get ripped and stick to fingers up to him when he looks at you and thinks, 's*it... I f*cked up!'

    Yep, this is part of my motivation to lose weight. I would NEVER take my ex back, but I sure can take pleasure in making him contrite when I sashay by. :bigsmile:
  • rachaelbeech
    rachaelbeech Posts: 10 Member
    totally agree with roduz!! let him see how much hes messed up with he passes you in the supermarket and your looking amazing!! that will show him :)
  • sweetiecorn
    sweetiecorn Posts: 115 Member
    Screw him, the horse sounds like a better option.

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