Can your SO access your phone?

My husband and I have access to all accounts and phones BUT we never snoop or invade the others privacy. He may answer my phone or vice versa but only if the call was expected and its family or friends (cookout at brothers "can you pick up _____?"). 17 years together and we don't read each other's conversations or even feel the need to know beyond a " how are they doing?" Unless it involves the both of us.

We both even have hide it apps on our phones; kids and nudes don't mix so our dirty pics we move to a hidden app.

For those that snoop and call it curiosity, it may be but it also sounds codependent. I love my husband as his own person and have no desire to police him or be privy to every second of his day. Him and I have a right to be our own person and have conversations that don't involve the other. Even just asking "who did you talk to today?" And "what was said?" Seem unhealthy to me. If something is going on with someone that I am aware of I may ask if there has been any news, but on a daily basis I could careless who my husband speaks with...that is his business, he will share if he wants...when we talk.

I also never open his wallet, unless it was an emergency and he stays out of my purse.....it scares him.

We also give and respect our children's privacy.

If one of us felt the need to snoop, that would devastate me because at that point I would know our relationship was in real trouble.

I make sexual jokes and stuff I have no issue telling him these things so there would be nothing to find. We are both adults though and have no need to answer to anyone about every conversation we have.

He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

I have to agree with this. But maybe this is why I'm still single. I wouldn't have anything to hide in a relationship and they could look all they want, however, I would say texts between my friends and I are off limits, not because I'm hiding something but my what my friends share is their business to share it NOT mine. What they tell me is in confidence even if it's just what time we're meeting somewhere. Chances are I'd tell my SO where I was meeting someone and who, but any info my friend shares with me in a text/email is their business. If I found out I told my BFF a secret and she let her SO read that info, I'd be kinda pissed off. Even if I like the dude, even if I know he wouldn't do anything with the info. I shared that with my BFF, NOT my BFF and their SO.

Why do people think/want to know every single thing their SO said in the course of a day to someone else? Seriously, I say some pretty boring things all day.

Agree with this 100%

What I don't get are people saying they have personal text conversations with other people - why don't you just delete the conversation afterwards? If you need to protect the other persons privacy or something.

Perhaps I'm missing something because I don't use mobile phones or text messages for this type of conversation. :indifferent:

To me...the question would be why do I have to erase my conversations because someone wants to read them. I am close to my sister in law and she vents about my husbands brother to me. My husband having knowledge of her feelings could put him in an odd position when talking to his brother.

Picture an old house phone.....if every time you wanted to chat with someone and your spouse picked up another line and listened.....that would be creepy..... Would you want them to stop or should you start sneaking around to use the phone so you can't be spied on?

Me and the hubs can access each other's phones. He has better apps than I do, LOL!!!! No reason to put a 'code' unless the kids can use these phones and try to purchase apps, which is what my daughter tried doing!!!:)

He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

:noway: ..........

Yeah, my thoughts, too. :grumble:

just kill his phone :grumble:

He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

:noway: ..........

Yeah, my thoughts, too. :grumble:

just kill his phone :grumble:

I really should! He is so crazy about his phone. He accidentally handed me his phone the other day and practically tackled me to get I back.

get a new SO

He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

:noway: ..........

Yeah, my thoughts, too. :grumble:

just kill his phone :grumble:

I really should! He is so crazy about his phone. He accidentally handed me his phone the other day and practically tackled me to get I back.

There's something kinda...wrong there. Wouldn't you say?

My phone is locked because I have two kids who are constantly stealing it and playing Mah Jong and Solitaire on it whenever I put it down…that in itself isn't the issue, but more that I don't want them getting into the pictures and videos that I do for work. His phone has to be locked because of HIPPA regulations - his clients full names, phone #, and addresses are on his phone.

My hubs can have full access to my phone if he wants it, but being a social worker, he respects my privacy far too much to go through texts and pictures, especially when the pictures and texts are from my clients. We're also in an open marriage, and just as I respect the privacy of his relationship with his girlfriend, he respects the privacy of my own relationship with my boyfriend. The amount of trust we have in each other is incredibly important, and I think we do a phenomenal job of communicating with each other.

ETA: I just asked him if he wanted to go through my phone - his response? "With the amount of junk pics you have on there from clients? That would be a big HELL NO!" :laugh:

My phone is locked because I have two kids who are constantly stealing it and playing Mah Jong and Solitaire on it whenever I put it down…that in itself isn't the issue, but more that I don't want them getting into the pictures and videos that I do for work. His phone has to be locked because of HIPPA regulations - his clients full names, phone #, and addresses are on his phone.

My hubs can have full access to my phone if he wants it, but being a social worker, he respects my privacy far too much to go through texts and pictures, especially when the pictures and texts are from my clients. We're also in an open marriage, and just as I respect the privacy of his relationship with his girlfriend, he respects the privacy of my own relationship with my boyfriend. The amount of trust we have in each other is incredibly important, and I think we do a phenomenal job of communicating with each other.

ETA: I just asked him if he wanted to go through my phone - his response? "With the amount of junk pics you have on there from clients? That would be a big HELL NO!" :laugh:

You are rather amazing. :flowerforyou:

My employer owns my phone and requires a lock, but I don't let her on my phone anyway. If I did, every female in this thread would probably be suspect of sleeping with me. She has a lock, but I don't ever want to look anyway.

He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

:noway: ..........

Yeah, my thoughts, too. :grumble:

just kill his phone :grumble:

I really should! He is so crazy about his phone. He accidentally handed me his phone the other day and practically tackled me to get I back.

There's something kinda...wrong there. Wouldn't you say?

Oh absolutely. I know it isn't right, trust me, he knows where I stand on it. He just doesn't give an f.

He has access to mine, although I don't get access to his. :ohwell:

:noway: ..........

Yeah, my thoughts, too. :grumble:

just kill his phone :grumble:

I really should! He is so crazy about his phone. He accidentally handed me his phone the other day and practically tackled me to get I back.

Sounds suspicious.

What I don't get are people saying they have personal text conversations with other people - why don't you just delete the conversation afterwards? If you need to protect the other persons privacy or something.

Perhaps I'm missing something because I don't use mobile phones or text messages for this type of conversation. :indifferent:

To me...the question would be why do I have to erase my conversations because someone wants to read them. I am close to my sister in law and she vents about my husbands brother to me. My husband having knowledge of her feelings could put him in an odd position when talking to his brother.

Picture an old house phone.....if every time you wanted to chat with someone and your spouse picked up another line and listened.....that would be creepy..... Would you want them to stop or should you start sneaking around to use the phone so you can't be spied on?

yes, fair enough.

I guess I don't have these sort of conversations by text message so it isn't an issue that affects me.

I think I misinterpreted this thread because a lot of the answers have the word "snooping" in them. When I answer my husbands phone or check out a text I hear I'm not snooping I am doing it because he left his phone upstairs and he might need to know who's trying to contact him. Also I do a lot of texting/calling for him when he's driving and vice versa.

When he checks out my texts and responds he's not snooping it's because he hears my phone going off, knows who it is by the ring tone and answers for me.

If you're "snooping" in your SO's phone, internet browser etc. then there are serious trust issues. If you go on your SO's phone, internet etc. because you need to use it, you just happened to answer it etc.that's completely different.

I trust my husband. He trusts me. There is no reason to snoop and no reason to NOT have access to each others phones.

I am single, but if I were married or had an SO I would be the same way. And Snooping to me implies trying to find something bc you don't trust.

And I must be out of the loop with people getting nudes on MFP....LMAO!