Boyfriends buying junk food...

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  • LadyGisborne
    LadyGisborne Posts: 32 Member
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    I have a skinny husband with a physically demanding job and three children.
    There is always food that I cannot have in the cupboards, and I bake a lot. It is my responsibility not to eat it. Of course it would be easier if I lived on my own, but I don't, so I have to do with it.
    I try to pre-log my food, so that if I know I am baking cookies, I can have one and adjust my other meals in consequence.

    When I am tempted to eat a high sugar / fat treat, I ask myself :
    - Do I really, really love this food? (so homemade cookies are in, crap chocolate is out)
    - Would I be able to have it at any time? (so once-in-a-year visit to a very good ice-cream parlour is OK, croissant that I can get from the boulangerie down the street any day is not).
  • joepage612
    joepage612 Posts: 179 Member
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    is this post some type of joke?
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    Break up with him. Obviously he doesn't care about your needs.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    Ask yourself one question: once you have lost weight, do you expect to continue eating in a balanced manner to keep it off? If your answer is yes, all the fattening food he brings home can serve as an exercise for maintenance for the future. Your eating habits are changing but the world around you will not, including your boyfriend, family, friends, people in the street or all the fast food restaurants scattered all over the place. You need to devise a coping mechanism to control it.

    Here is a suggestion: during weekdays cut an extra 100 calories from your intake. On weekends when he comes, have a low calorie breakfast and eat at maintenance, which will give you room for some of what he is buying. There is no reason you should sit in the corner munching on a lettuce leaf when there is pizza. You should be able to balance things out between the things you need and things you want.

    When I'm faced with such a situation I ask myself these questions:
    1. Do I really want it?
    2. Is it worth an extra walk or cutting down on other things?
    3. Do I have room for it, or I can create room for it by exercising more today?

    If my answer is yes to all 3, especially the last one, by all means I have and enjoy whatever is there. If my answer is no to either one of the first two I often lose the desire to have it, but if my answer is yes to the first two and no to the last, I act like a grown-up and control myself.
  • dlionsmane
    dlionsmane Posts: 672 Member
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    or...
    Allow yourself to work it into your day...in my opinion giving yourself permission to have a serving of something takes away that obsessive thinking about it as if you will never have it again.

    Weigh a serving on your food scale and log it...enjoy and move on.

    ^^This +++++
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
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    Are there "treats" he likes but you don't? For instance, I hate Doritos. I won't eat them. I hate the "cracker"-style Combos. Won't eat them, even if I'm starving. Also mint chocolate chip ice cream. Same thing with cinnamon rolls, anything dill, etc., etc. If my partner brought 10 cases of these into the house, and I was full-out "hangry," I STILL WOULD NOT EAT THESE. I hate things with raisins in them. Or shaved coconut.

    Point being, can he bring things he likes but you hate? And then if you have "treats" you do like, and fit into your calorie budget, on-hand -- like, fruit or yogurt or jello or something -- you can eat that when he's eating the nasty treats you wouldn't want anyway?

    Just an idea.

    Edit to add:
    List of additional "treat" things I hate, just because I hate them and I want to call them out for their nasty (in my opinion, YMMV of course)
    Licorice
    Mounds/almond joys
    Anything Little Debbie-like with "fruit" in it
    Anything with raisins baked in it (yes, I'm repeating this one)
    Anything with nutmeg
    Chocolates with cherries in the middle
    Maraschino cherries
    Candy corn
    Halloween hard candy that looks like Smarties, but aren't
    Anything with artichoke
  • audrast
    audrast Posts: 74 Member
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    Might be an odd solution, but consider having his junk food stored in a different place than the rest of your food. You might have to still see him eating it, but the bags or packages won't be in your visual range when you go prepare something to eat for yourself.
  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
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    Mine will spend 30 bucks a pop on snack cakes, nuts, popcorn, cookies, and whatever else looks good. He keeps it all in his office and I know where it is but I look at it like it isn't mine. Also out of sight out of mind for me. If I want something I will ask him and he gives me just enough that I can have it without it screwing up my calorie count. I made him some chocolate white chocolate chip cookies and didn't eat one of them. I admit I licked the beater but hey, things happen. I just work things around what he usually eats because I am generally not picky. So I eat what ever looks good as long as it stays within my counts. I am not a believer in cutting things out that you like. That is a recipe for failure because you are going to end up resenting the fact that you can't have the things you like and quitting will be all too easy to do.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
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    You're an adult I assume? Not a child who must eat what your guardian dictates? So make your own choices. If you can handle moderation, then allow 200 calories a day for treats/whatever. If you can't do moderation, then make sure you have your own snacks on hand.

    Take care of yourself first. Make YOU a priority. In my opinion that is the key.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
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    Might be an odd solution, but consider having his junk food stored in a different place than the rest of your food. You might have to still see him eating it, but the bags or packages won't be in your visual range when you go prepare something to eat for yourself.


    Great solution! It might not work for everyone.. I know it wouldn't have worked for me at an earlier point in my journey... and it MIGHT not work for me now the the point where I am... but I can definitely foresee a time when this will be something that can work in our household.
  • Avansilee
    Avansilee Posts: 11
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    Well, this problem for me was solved by the fact that I am very short, and my boyfriend is somewhat tall. When he started bringing home sugary and salty snacks again (he had two molars extracted a few weeks ago) I told him to put them on top of the cabinets where I'd have to climb if I really wanted them. Out of sight, out of mind for me.

    He does have to put his candy bars in the fridge where I can see, but I make sure they stay right next to healthy options for me. Sugar free jello and pudding or something else sweet but forgiving.
  • doctorregenerated
    doctorregenerated Posts: 188 Member
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    People who are giving tough love on this don't seem to understand the power of temptation. Temptation, especially in the beginning of a new food-lifestyle change is very difficult to deal with. You are resisting old habits, and food that almost acts like a powerful drug to give you the "happys." Plus, there is a social/intimacy aspect to eating. People in relationships also share meal experiences, and when one person changes, it puts a strain on the relationship. Some couples handle that really well and support each other, and some have growing pains.
    As someone who definitely understands how hard it is to resist snacks when they are readily available, especially when you are feeling less strong, let me add some suggestions:
    1. Ask him to keep the snacks in a place that is not easy to get to. He can put it up high like on top of the refrigerator, or maybe behind other stuff in the pantry. We have a pantry in our basement for extra stuff, so my husband puts stuff downstairs too.
    2. Find a snack that you really like that fits into an acceptable calorie requirement, and that is similar to your BF's, Maybe a skinny cow ice cream? Only eat it when he pulls out his sweet treat. Then you will both have a sweet thing at the same time, but yours will be planned and controlled.
    3. Find some new activities to do during the times when he likes to snack. Try and do new things together. So if Sat night consists of sitting in front of the tv and snacking, suggest going for a walk, the gym, playing a video game, going out, some other hobby. Or get out of the room when he's snacking if it helps. It only takes maybe 15-20 minutes to eat? That's not too much time away from him.
    4. Remember, its your old habits that brought you to MFP with the idea of becoming a healthier you. So if one of those old habits is snacking with the BF, than its time to examine how to make that situation work for you.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
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    People who are giving tough love on this don't seem to understand the power of temptation. Temptation, especially in the beginning of a new food-lifestyle change is very difficult to deal with. You are resisting old habits, and food that almost acts like a powerful drug to give you the "happys." Plus, there is a social/intimacy aspect to eating. People in relationships also share meal experiences, and when one person changes, it puts a strain on the relationship. Some couples handle that really well and support each other, and some have growing pains.
    As someone who definitely understands how hard it is to resist snacks when they are readily available, especially when you are feeling less strong, let me add some suggestions:
    1. Ask him to keep the snacks in a place that is not easy to get to. He can put it up high like on top of the refrigerator, or maybe behind other stuff in the pantry. We have a pantry in our basement for extra stuff, so my husband puts stuff downstairs too.
    2. Find a snack that you really like that fits into an acceptable calorie requirement, and that is similar to your BF's, Maybe a skinny cow ice cream? Only eat it when he pulls out his sweet treat. Then you will both have a sweet thing at the same time, but yours will be planned and controlled.
    3. Find some new activities to do during the times when he likes to snack. Try and do new things together. So if Sat night consists of sitting in front of the tv and snacking, suggest going for a walk, the gym, playing a video game, going out, some other hobby. Or get out of the room when he's snacking if it helps. It only takes maybe 15-20 minutes to eat? That's not too much time away from him.
    4. Remember, its your old habits that brought you to MFP with the idea of becoming a healthier you. So if one of those old habits is snacking with the BF, than its time to examine how to make that situation work for you.

    It has nothing to do with not understanding temptation. Am I tempted to eat the whole tray of brownies .. sure but I make a decision to eat my portion and save the rest.

    It takes learning when to say no, I want this more than I want the entire tray of brownies
  • lemonsnowdrop
    lemonsnowdrop Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Is he trying to lose weight? No? Then don't expect him to stop eating foods he likes. My husband keeps whatever he wants in the house because, well, it's his house too, and just because I don't eat something doesn't mean he can't either. No point in taking something away from someone because you don't have the self control to not eat it.
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
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    Your profile states that you are 18 years old. Blaming others for your choices is a very bad habit to develop in life. Blaming others will never help you reach your goals so don’t practice that bad habit. You will be faced with temptations of one form or another for the rest of your life. The sooner you take responsibility for your choices then the better off you will be as an adult. It is not your boyfriend's fault that you don't have self-control. Just as your boyfriend buys food that works for him then you should do the same. Figure out a way to enjoy your time with him while sticking to your weight loss plan.
  • krennie8
    krennie8 Posts: 301 Member
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    Anyone have a boyfriend who loves to buy junk food?

    Well, I do. And it's bloody difficult.
    I'm trying to cut that kind of stuff out of my diet, so I can finally start to lose weight again'. But he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.

    I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.

    I've tried to get him to stop but he seems to be addicted to sugar or something, so he isn't going to stop buying this stuff.

    How do I resist the urge. What am I supposed to say to myself? What am I supposed to do?

    I have a husband and son that love sweet treats...so we buy them or I make them...

    Like yesterday there is no less than 3 different things made in my house by me...

    He is not addicted to sugar he is eating what he wants...it's not up to him to control what you eat just like it's not up to you.

    And yes you should be able to control yourself...regardless....when you see a purse in a store you can't afford do you steal it? No you control yourself...it's called being an adult.

    If you want to lose the weight bad enough you do one of two things....fit it in your calories or don't eat it.

    Darn...guess I should return those purses then.... :-\
  • Supertact
    Supertact Posts: 466 Member
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    self control
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    I am looking for a 2nd boyfriend...
  • workout_ninja
    workout_ninja Posts: 524 Member
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    what about allocating him a "junk cupboard" in the kitchen. All his junk food goes in there and you simply dont open the door - out of sight, out of mind and all that. Or if you are really bad at willpower - put a lock on the cupboard door and give him the key - you cant eat it, if you cant get to it
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
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    I recognize that all food is food, and there are some foods that I can't have on a regular basis. My husband would eat pizzas and chicken nuggets constantly. I would have some nuggets, log it, then move on. It was much easier than pretending I didn't want any and eventually bingeing.

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