What is the weirdest weight loss advice you've ever had?

I have a friend who is doing some diet plan where she only eats during a 5 hour window every day. She eats only whole foods, nothing processed, no sugar, no bread, no alcohol, no juices, etc. She will actually meet us for dinner then sit and drink water while everyone else eats. She doesn't eat in front of people either.

It just sounds like an eating disorder to me. She doesn't look like she needs to lose weight, so I"m not sure of her thinking.

*Don't eat bread because it's made of sugar
*Fruit is bad for you

And my personal (least) favorite:

*Diet Soda causes you to gain weight

Don't eat carbs after 3pm.

You can eat vegetables all you want because they're non fat.

The Grape Diet.

I had to use the google.
Lololol.

I'm pretty sure you could substitute that with any other fruit or berry for the same results. Wow.

That if I rub grapefruit extract essential oils on my stomach, the fat will "literally melt off"/

My grandmother used to tell me that all the time except it wasn't grapefruit oils. It was Olive Oil. I remember when I was little if I ever got a stomach ache or had any intestinal problem, she'd make me lay down rub olive oil on my stomach....:noway:

I was just told by someone that I should be eating several tablespoons of coconut oil per day if I want to lose weight.

Apparently coconut oil has a thermogenic ? effect and will boost my metabolism significantly. When I asked if the added calories and fat should be counted I was told no because the calories where actually negative calories and could be deducted from my total eaten.

Now I know enough to get that this is probably BS but where does this stuff come from????

Also, just for interest sake, anyone else been given some weird advice?

I was told the same thing by an old man at a pizza joint. He overheard me saying I had lost weight and I guess took that initiative to come talk to me.

"Try the egg and orange diet. Eat 10 eggs and 10 oranges every day for a week - you can lose 5-7 pounds in a week."

If you eat 10 eggs a day, and 10 oranges a day; you probably would.

1 egg ~ 80 cal x 10 - 800
1 orange ~ 80 cal x 10 - 800

1600 cal a day? That is a deficit for me.

I think I'm going to write all of these down and combine them and see if I take all of this advice if it will help me!

"just *kitten* the weight off"

funny thing is i think they were being serious

Sex (even alone) does count as exercise....

However, the amount you'd have to get/do to make a significant weight loss dent....

I can just imagine the diet book: "The Perv Diet: Sex Your Way to Sexypants!"

A waiter the other night told me to not drink water for one hour before or after any meal. He said something about concentrating the digestive enzymes so your body digests the food more effectively. And, this advice was from a nutritionist he "knew while living in LA, where you know, nutrition is EVERYTHING". And also? this was Angelina Jolie's nutritionist, so you know it's good information.

I smiled as I sipped my water with lemon.

this is actually true you should not drink while eating or a hour before or after bc you water down the digestive enzymes that break down your food

to only eat once every 18 hours, and that in the process your poop gets smaller because the body starts to re-absorb essential nutrients and vitamins from the poop. the longer you go, the smaller your poop will be until your body simply gets used to re-absorbing all the "lost" nutrients.

and overheard in the store one day... "eat bread that's been coated in olive oil. the oil will make everything just slide right through and you'll lose weight."

lmao this one had me DYING!!!

A waiter the other night told me to not drink water for one hour before or after any meal. He said something about concentrating the digestive enzymes so your body digests the food more effectively. And, this advice was from a nutritionist he "knew while living in LA, where you know, nutrition is EVERYTHING". And also? this was Angelina Jolie's nutritionist, so you know it's good information.

I smiled as I sipped my water with lemon.

this is actually true you should not drink while eating or a hour before or after bc you water down the digestive enzymes that break down your food

I'm just going to laugh right through my lunch with a tall glass of water.

A waiter the other night told me to not drink water for one hour before or after any meal. He said something about concentrating the digestive enzymes so your body digests the food more effectively. And, this advice was from a nutritionist he "knew while living in LA, where you know, nutrition is EVERYTHING". And also? this was Angelina Jolie's nutritionist, so you know it's good information.

I smiled as I sipped my water with lemon.

this is actually true you should not drink while eating or a hour before or after bc you water down the digestive enzymes that break down your food

I'm just going to laugh right through my lunch with a tall glass of water.

My enzymes are screwed then because I drink so much water with a meal I need my own carafe.

this is actually true you should not drink while eating or a hour before or after bc you water down the digestive enzymes that break down your food

The Mayo Clinic disagrees with you:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/digestion/faq-20058348

Unless your stomach doesn't produce enough hydrochloric acid (the main component of gastric juices), there's no problem drinking water during or after a meal. Otherwise, how would we digest soup?

Courtesy of the "Gummy bear diet"


"41,395 of 42,038 people found the following review helpful
Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate.
By Christine E. Torokon October 3, 2012
Size Name: 5 lbVerified Purchase
Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile."

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"204 of 231 people found the following review helpful
Please tell me
By Chuckon March 4, 2014
Size Name: 5 lb
when does the s***ting stop. I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry for anything bad I've ever done in my life."

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"96 of 107 people found the following review helpful
As a snack... no... as a cleanse... of course!
By Kendalon January 17, 2014
Size Name: 5 lb
With several family members dealing with diabetes, I thought "sugar free? can't be bad for me". Oh, how wrong I was. Not wrong in the sense of 'its chillier than I thought, should have brought a jacket', but wrong in the sense of 'let's move to Pompei, there's a beautiful mountain right by the city!'

Much like that famed volcano, there were rumblings. Signs of distress, a twisting, cramping, and I found that my intestines, in times of great upheaval, becomes fluent in what turned out to be Maori. Utterings of 'rere' and 'morearea' emanated from my lower torso. Danger, and flee. Would that I had paid attention....

When the first twisting cramp struck, nearly driving me to my knees, I realized that if I could not get myself to the sanctuary of the bathroom, the incredible pressure that was rapidly building with my tracts would surely launch me towards the smallest room in short order. Through the walls. Face first.

Still forced into a hunched position, I stumbled down the hallway, using the walls for support to keep myself as close to upright as possible. I did have to stop as the pressure was too much and was going to release. I tried to hold it, I tried my very best. Luckily, the first release, much like Vesuvius so long ago, was gas. Foul, reeking, lung collapsing gas, but gas all the same. I had time. Time enough to stagger the last few feet to safety. The gas, however, permeated EVERYTHING, and the miasma followed me into the bathroom. Indeed, the eye watering aroma sat down on the edge of the tub to chuckle and snicker at my predicament. I felt this to be very unfair as I had only released it into the world a short time before and already we had progressed to a 'teenager' mindset where the 'out of it' adult is to be mocked and laughed at.

Upon settling my soon to be abused hind end upon the one throne accepts all members of society with equanimity, the second eruption came forth. Now, I'm sure that in your lifetime you have sat upon the toilet and ripped a good one. The acoustics of the porcelain thus amplify even a 'meh' flatus into something noteworthy. Thanks to these bear shaped nuggets of evil, that second blast was of such depth and volume that surely those Maori speaking individuals of New Zealand must have looked up and wondered where the thunder was coming from. My eyeballs shook so severely I could not see for minutes. Even after my eyeballs returned to their original position, I still couldn't see due to the odor. In a confined space, the smell was overpowering. My tear filled vision became so bad that my attempts to hit the switch for the fan were so far off that from the outside one might think there was a strobe light going off in the bathroom.

Then, a gut twisting, scream inducing, spasm of pain flared, starting from my navel and traveling the route of my small and then large intestine. When my exit port could not hold any longer, the sphincter releasing with an imagined shrug as if to say 'hey, I know I'm going to get torn to shreds here, but what can you do?' With a final, loud, groan, my *kitten* became a portal to a realm where all the evil of this dimension assailed the inside of my porcelain throne with the force of a small bomb. Bent over, clutching my knees, to keep myself both conscious and sane, I marveled at the fact my shoes had not somehow been sucked into, and then violently shot out, of that most lethal of areas. It was if every food I have ever eaten, seen on tv, smelled, or even considered for a nanosecond, was mystically teleported into my colon to be shot out at speeds approaching Mach 6.

As a cleanse, these bears are marvelous!"

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Thats just a few :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: