Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but you end up in ER from unrelated complications.

I wish I could get an appetite to eat dinner so I have the energy to run tonight.

I wish I could get an appetite to eat dinner so I have the energy to run tonight.

Granted! Now you're really hungry, and gonna have to run all over the world to balance out the cals you end up eating. Enjoy your trip!

I wish college experiences only included facts that I'd use in my calling, not years of garbage like war stories in History.

Granted! Now you can't escape school due to being a professional student.

I wish I had money for a culinary travel tour.

Granted but it's your last meal.


I wish it were already October.

Granted. You now have a professional chef. Unfortunately he's a total food snob and rolls his eyes every time you ask him to cook normal dishes, and he acts like the dying swan when you put ketchup on your meal, and he refuses to do your steak the way you like it, it has to be done the way he thinks that kind of steak should be done. And you get so sick of his attitude that you fire him and go back to cooking your own food.

I wish I could make a fly on the wall documentary about the lives of neanderthals.

Granted but a disgruntled employee jacks off on your meal..... Enjoy


I wish my car got a hundred miles a gallon.

Granted. Unfortunately there is a massive power outage upon your arrival and you are now stuck in the city with no lights, no casinos, and no flights.

I wish I could reach my fitness goal tomorrow.

Granted. You were Bill Gates for a short period, but he was on the toilet the whole time.

I wish I could fly planes.

Granted. Now you're late for work because who decides to take a horse drawn carriage on the highway?!

I wish I could survive very comfortably without sleep.

I wish my wife made more money than I did so i could quit and be a stay at home dad.

Granted, but a loved one of hers died and left the money to her instead, so both of you can quit, but now she's sad about the loss, which stresses you out even more than work did.

My dumb diet is making me toot every 15 minutes or so, so I wish that would stop!

Granted. You love living in the city so much you can't imagine living anywhere else. But then your company relocates you so you're working in the countryside, and you miss the city so much you become suicidal, but there's no chance of relocating back again.

I wish I had a pack of dragons that did my bidding.

Here's a spaceship that can fly almost at the speed of light. Due to special relativity, you can fly at top speed in the spaceship and extend your day as long as you like.

Unfortunately when you return to Earth, you find that two or three million years on Earth have passed and that humans have gone extinct and the dominant species on earth is now the cockroach. And they've evolved to be human sized, but they are not at all clever, and see you as being tasty food. You live out your days hiding from cockroaches and yearning for human company.

I wish I could shape-shift and just change myself into various animals or even objects at will.

granted but the only animals you can change into are parasites that live inside the bodies of other animals. the only objects you can change into are surgical dressings.

i wish to live forever and remain the age i am today

Granted, but you will have to be trapped in amber forever.

I wish I could understand and speak all languages of the world.

Granted even though you can already fly
proceed to the nearest tall building or
bridge and check it out........ off you go
weeeeeeee

I wish today to be an easy day

Granted. Frozen yogurt retracted and replaced with 15 donuts.

I wish I had super strength.

I wish I had a job I loved!...
Granted.... But after a while your genitals get really sore....


I wish I didn't have such a dirty mind...