Drunk rant about women

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Ferrous_Female_Dog
Ferrous_Female_Dog Posts: 221 Member
in Chit-Chat
Last night one of my co-workers went on a drunk rant about women during happy hour. He's biased, of course. He's recently divorced and frustrated with the little dating he's done since then. He was going on about trust issues from this ex cheating, and then said women can't be trusted because they use make up and push up bras and those are lies, then he went on with hair dyeing and girdles and that it makes all women liars. We all laughed and it didn't really turn into a conversation but it did get me thinking.

That's something guys really have to deal with on the dating scene that women don't: the dressing up. If I were dating and on the first date the guy showed up wearing spanx to tuck a gut, shoes that made him seem 3 inches taller, and oh I don't know, let's say a really awesome convincing fake beard... I'd be kind of miffed to see him without the extras after expecting something different. Men don't do that though. They perform various levels of grooming, but with men, what you see is what you get. Many women, however, routinely change their hair color, wear heels, wear bras that change the shape of their breasts, we paint our faces, we can make our hair curly, straight, wavy, whatever we want!

Does this make us untrustworthy liars? I mean that's an extreme end of the spectrum but at least in my case it made me feel hypocritical to view a male who did similar things as, well misleading.

Make up and spanx and push up bras and excessive hair styling can be misleading, but can it also be unethical when taken to the extreme?
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Replies

  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    No. I'm an artist- and artists need a full pallete to express themselves- and that means through make up clothes and shoes.


    I am not dating at this point- but when I did- I always get dressed up and look nice- but I would say there is a difference between trying to look my best verses present an image of someone I'm not.

    I don't really care what other people think or do past that.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,820 Member
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    I don't know. I think a lot of women do it because they feel like they have to, not necessarily to impress men, but to compete with other women. I dye my hair sometimes, I wear makeup, I sometimes even wear really tall heels. I don't think it makes me dishonest. I think it means I felt like wearing it. I do think if a woman consistently wears image altering items and claims to be all natural, that's pretty misleading. I also think that if more women embraced what they looked like naturally, as opposed to what Cosmo tells them is beautiful, they might not feel like they had to do all that to be considered attractive.
  • I_need_moar_musclez
    I_need_moar_musclez Posts: 499 Member
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    I hide in the back and send out a 6ft hologram of myself. Does that count?
  • emkayelle91
    emkayelle91 Posts: 846 Member
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    I guess I can kind of get where he is coming from. But on the same token, it is relatively obvious when a girl has a bunch of makeup on, 8 inch F-me pumps, and a push up bra. Guys can't honestly think they wake up looking like a $5 hooker, right?
  • MsBetteDavis
    MsBetteDavis Posts: 118 Member
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    While I understand what he's saying, it's very hard for me to not get angry at his comments.

    Ever since I was about 12 years old, I've struggled with bad skin (although it is a million times better now than it used to be). That means that for the past 13 years, I've ALWAYS worn makeup. You know why? Because it makes me feel better about myself. I feel far more confident with makeup on than I do without it. Does doing something that makes me more confident make me dishonest? No. It means I'm doing something to make me feel better about myself.

    I've also struggled with my hair. It's naturally curly, so it can be unruly at times, so sometimes I straighten it, and sometimes I don't. Does me straightening my hair on occasion make me dishonest? No. It means I like having hair that's easier to manage. And I dye it as well - does me lying about my natural hair colour make me dishonest? No. It means I like dying my hair to what suits me best.

    And I like to wear clothes that compliment my body. Does me doing that mean I'm dishonest? No. It means I dress well for my figure.

    According to your co-workers rant, we should all walk around naked all of the time, with zero makeup, zero hair products, men can never use rogain or get a hair transplant, no one should ever shave because our body hair is what's natural, and everyone over the age of 40 needs to never dye their hair and just accept that they're going gray.

    That's ridiculous.

    Based on what he said, I can see why he hasn't had much luck dating.
  • Ferrous_Female_Dog
    Ferrous_Female_Dog Posts: 221 Member
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    I don't know. I think a lot of women do it because they feel like they have to, not necessarily to impress men, but to compete with other women. I dye my hair sometimes, I wear makeup, I sometimes even wear really tall heels. I don't think it makes me dishonest. I think it means I felt like wearing it. I do think if a woman consistently wears image altering items and claims to be all natural, that's pretty misleading. I also think that if more women embraced what they looked like naturally, as opposed to what Cosmo tells them is beautiful, they might not feel like they had to do all that to be considered attractive.

    Yeah, I mean heels and make up are pretty standard and I think we all generally accept that. But there are some extreme make up techniques that can really make people look completely different. Heck, even when I wear compression shorts to the gym, it makes my body look completely different and I get more attention on my way to and from the gym than I do in regular clothes.
  • wjstoj
    wjstoj Posts: 884 Member
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    I guess I can kind of get where he is coming from. But on the same token, it is relatively obvious when a girl has a bunch of makeup on, 8 inch F-me pumps, and a push up bra. Guys can't honestly think they wake up looking like a $5 hooker, right?

    $5 ???
  • Ferrous_Female_Dog
    Ferrous_Female_Dog Posts: 221 Member
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    According to your co-workers rant, we should all walk around naked all of the time, with zero makeup, zero hair products, men can never use rogain or get a hair transplant, no one should ever shave because our body hair is what's natural, and everyone over the age of 40 needs to never dye their hair and just accept that they're going gray.

    That's ridiculous.

    Based on what he said, I can see why he hasn't had much luck dating.

    Well like I said, he was drunk and definitely biased. I don't agree with what he said, but I also don't think he meant people should abandon all grooming whatsoever.
  • MsBetteDavis
    MsBetteDavis Posts: 118 Member
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    I tuck a sock in my pants, to feel better about myself. I also tell women I'm a millionaire. I do these things for me, to feel better about myself as a person. If a woman thinks I'm being dishonest that's on her, I'm doing this for me. *hair flip*

    :laugh:

    Perfect.
  • Ferrous_Female_Dog
    Ferrous_Female_Dog Posts: 221 Member
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    I tuck a sock in my pants, to feel better about myself. I also tell women I'm a millionaire. I do these things for me, to feel better about myself as a person. If a woman thinks I'm being dishonest that's on her, I'm doing this for me. *hair flip*

    Ooh Sock in the pants! That's a good one!

    Ladies, how do we feel about this? I think it's the male equivalent to a push up bra.
  • MsBetteDavis
    MsBetteDavis Posts: 118 Member
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    I tuck a sock in my pants, to feel better about myself. I also tell women I'm a millionaire. I do these things for me, to feel better about myself as a person. If a woman thinks I'm being dishonest that's on her, I'm doing this for me. *hair flip*

    Ooh Sock in the pants! That's a good one!

    Ladies, how do we feel about this? I think it's the male equivalent to a push up bra.

    I agree. If a guy had a sock in his pants and looked huge, then we made it home and his sock fell out of his boxers, I would be surprised.

    But pushup bra or sock in your pants, whatever makes you feel better lol it's your prerogative.
  • KimJohnsonsmile
    KimJohnsonsmile Posts: 222 Member
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    I also think that if more women embraced what they looked like naturally, as opposed to what Cosmo tells them is beautiful, they might not feel like they had to do all that to be considered attractive.

    AMEN!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I tuck a sock in my pants, to feel better about myself. I also tell women I'm a millionaire. I do these things for me, to feel better about myself as a person. If a woman thinks I'm being dishonest that's on her, I'm doing this for me. *hair flip*

    Ooh Sock in the pants! That's a good one!

    Ladies, how do we feel about this? I think it's the male equivalent to a push up bra.

    since I don't' walk around staring at a man's crotch and guessing as to how fun his di*k might be- I'm not really seeing it on the same page.
  • MsBetteDavis
    MsBetteDavis Posts: 118 Member
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    I tuck a sock in my pants, to feel better about myself. I also tell women I'm a millionaire. I do these things for me, to feel better about myself as a person. If a woman thinks I'm being dishonest that's on her, I'm doing this for me. *hair flip*

    Ooh Sock in the pants! That's a good one!

    Ladies, how do we feel about this? I think it's the male equivalent to a push up bra.

    since I don't' walk around staring at a man's crotch and guessing as to how fun his di*k might be- I'm not really seeing it on the same page.

    I tend to agree with you but what about when men wear sweatpants?

    My eye generally doesn't shoot to a guy's crotch but there's something about sweatpants that makes his package super obvious.

    I can't be the only person who thinks that.
  • roxywho42
    roxywho42 Posts: 165 Member
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    I see nothing dishonest about makeup and bras, but extremes and constant spanx and such until he didn't know the actual shape of her body until the first time he sees her naked is another story.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    Guy sounds a little bitter to me.
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
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    You really can't win on this one.
    I personally do none of the above because I just don't enjoy it. Makes me feel...weird. Like I'm made of glass and if I trip false eyelashes will fly and heels will break.
    Also out of laziness. Brushing my hair is what I consider getting ready for a night out.
    However, like I said, you can't win. If you do wear makeup, push-up bras, heels, etc, then you're a fraud. If you don't a lot of men think you don't care about your appearance.
    In my opinion a lot of men prefer a done up woman, they just like to whinge about it.
    Think of the hot redhead from Mad Men. She is who she is because of the enhancements.
  • gelendestrasse
    gelendestrasse Posts: 204
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    Men used to wear a thing called a codpiece. And wigs. And makeup. That all changed with the industrial revolution. It seems that the fashion industry isn't going to let women customers go as easily. But if you look on the factory floor and even in the exec wing there isn't a lot of war paint going on at work any more. So why it's necessary on dates?

    I'm reminded of a friend who was dating this woman and things got to the bedroom, eventually. As he put it, she looked great in clothes but once she took everything off everything else ...just...fell. She went from looking like 35 (which she was) to looking like 60+.

    Maybe that's what your male friend was talking about. But then again, most of us do look better in clothes....

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