How do you handle tantrums?

I think you did exactly waht you should have. You did NOT give in and give her what she was crying over (good job, Mom!), and you got her out of there as quickly as you could. Most people completely understand toddler meltdowns - don't worry about her having them in public, they're normal. Distraction IS a great thing (Darkguardian - super point), but even when they're young doesn't always work the way we want it to. If you keep NOT giving in, you guys will get past this stage. :flowerforyou:

Absolutely DO NOT give her what she wants.

Mostly the way to deal with tantrums is to just ignore. Any reaction to the behavior encourages it, even negative attention is attention. If a child sees that throwing a tantrum gets them absolutely nothing, including no response from you, they typically learn pretty quickly that tantrums are not worth the effort.

The problem is when you are in public you have to deal with the judgmental stares of all the people around you. And your child may be disturbing others (interrupting conversations, etc.) with the noise. When that happened with my kids I did exactly what you did. I wrapped up whatever I was doing quickly, and got my child out of there, all the while doing everything in my power to not encourage the tantrum in any way.

Explain to your child BEFORE you leave home where you're going and what you're going to get - i.e. - 'We're going to the grocery store - ALL we are getting is healthy food for the week - NO toys, candy, or presents.'

Tell your daughter you KNOW she is a big girl, and she will behave herself on the trip.

If she has a melt-down - remind her of the trip - why you're there, what you're getting.

IF she continues - leave immediately - she gets a time-out at home.

My daughter had one melt-down in a Target when she was around 2 - I walked away from her.

I saw her get up - look around in disbelief - and run after me - no more tears.

Never happened again.

I have a 1 1/2 toddler that loves to go wherever mommy goes. The problem is that she also wants to do exactly what she wants while we are out in public. Case and point being this weekend. I needed to go grocery shopping, and made sure my little one had a nap and a big snack before heading out. We get to the store, and everything is going great. About 15 minutes in, my daughter sees the wrack that holds all the shiny plastic toys and starts screaming, "BUBBLES, MOMMA, BUBBLES!" I explained to her that we had bubbles at home, but obviously she did not understand that. Once we started pushing past that spot, she completely lost it. She started crying and trying to grab things to throw out of the cart. Even though I had a full cart, I was being given death stares by everyone in the store. I took what I had and checked out as fast as I could. I am a single mom, so going to do things like grocery shopping has to be done with my little one by my side.

My question is, what do you do when your child loses their cool? Simply leave? Wait it out? I am not inclined to just give her whatever she is crying for and expect her not to do it every single time she wants something. Is there something I am missing here? Also, there was no possible way of not walking by the toy isle, it was seated directly next to the baby/toddler section, those sneaky bast*$#s

You had the right instincts. If you quietly leave a couple times she will learn that her tantrum does not get her the bubbles.

Ignore the death stares, for some strange reason we tend to focus on those instead of the sympathetic people willing to help/empathize.

In the future, EVERY TIME you go inside TELL HER you are NOT buying bubbles today. Then load up your cart completely with everything you need before gettting to that point. Hand her a different thing like a toy from home right when you are ready to push past that part. Hopefully it will distract her during that part. If she does notice and begins a tantrum, STEEL YOURSELF and just safely handle her while you pay and ignore anyone's looks or judgement of you. Then leave immediately and tell her that you had to leave the store due to her behavior.

Even if you have to leave a couple of times WITHOUT your intended purchases, I had to do this with my older one and he soon learned that behavior does NOT work. Shopping became easier next time. It helps if there can be a reward upon returning to the car or home, sooner depending on how young they are and able to connect the behavior with the reward. Likewise if you have to leave the store due to bad behavior it must also be immediate and they must be explained that their behavior is the reason for your leaving. It accomplishes two things. It lets them know that their tantrums are not appropriate public behavior, and also you embarrass yourself in public less.

That being said, I know it doesn't feel that way when it's happening but MOST people who have been parents before or grandparents or aunts/uncles are sympathetic and understanding and are NOT judging you.

Take her down the spatula isle. Grab one off the shelf and go to town. Replace spatula. Problem solved.

when my kids had tantrums I would walk away from them and ignore them. nine times out of ten they would stop to come look for me. IF it got too our of hand I would say nothing and just scoop them up and put them in their room and close the door. I never gave in. I would even do this at the store, of course I would just hide around the corner but kids wont do stupid crap for too long if only strangers are staring at them. Worked everytime for me. :laugh: There were many times that people would be like who's kid is that? and I would join them in their comments and be like I don't know, wonder where his mom is. Hahah... my kids hated that more than anything. Made them feel stupid when old ladies were all staring at them. Be patient, they wont be that little for long.

I once told a friend that a mothers 'No' is not always a no to the question but a way to avoid the next one! Plan ahead!

What I mean is that you may need to set boundaries at home for no other reason than to teach your daughter to respect them no matter where you are. If at home she is told no and guided to something else she will more than likely not have this issue when outside of the home.

I finish my grocery shopping and ignore the glares from the sanctimonious one or two in the store. Most people have been through the same thing, and a lot of them just feel sympathy for you -- believe me. I don't give in to my kids, but I'm not going to let them think they can terrorize me out of a store, either. I don't get a lot of time to shop, and if there are things I need, I stay and get them. When my daughter was three, she threw a huge tantrum in a store. I ignored it. When we got to the car, not only did she not get the thing she wanted, she learned that we weren't going out to lunch to get the pho noodles she wanted, either. I will take away the discretionary treats, but I will get my shopping done.

What I did when my daughter was that age, (and yes, I was one of those "bad mommas" who didn't do what the doctor told them- she still had her paci and bottle) I kept a paci with me at ALL times, a bottle and/or sippy cup and filled it up with something if we were going out- water, milk, juice, had snacks (Goldfish, Cheerios, Gerber Graduates, ect.), and some type of toys in the diaper bag. These were ABSOLUTE necessities to make sure I could distract her at any given time. If she started raising hell over something, and the paci didn't work, it was the bottle/sippy cup. If that didn't work, it was a snack. If the snack didn't work, it was a toy. If a toy didn't work, we parked the buggy and took a trip the bathroom where we had a nice talk about how you behave in public and what would be happening when we got home. 9 out of 10 times, the distractions usually worked, but on occasion, we'd end up taking a trip to the bathroom. There were times we didn't even get halfway there and she'd stop. Because she KNEW going to the bathroom for a talk meant she was in big trouble, that momma was MAD. Even that young, they can figure out when you're angry and mean business.

As for people looking, let them stare, hate it for them, have they never seen a child before? Children have tantrums. Children have meltdowns. It's part of life. You're doing the best you can, don't sweat it.