How do you handle tantrums?

Options
1…5681011…20

Replies

  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    Options
    Seriously child free places???!!!!! People have kids, kids throw tantrums and the world doesn't stop. You do the best you can with your child because it will end and they will grow up and you will miss the tantrums.

    I don't see a problem with child-free restaurants and I think kids are great. But, when parents bring kids to fancy restaurants (especially at a time when they KNOW their kids should be in bed) and there's a tantrum and the parents don't walk out, it's frustrating. If I'm going out at 8pm to a nice restaurant that's going to cost me a lot of money, it's reasonable for me to expect that there won't be children running around. There are plenty of great family restaurants for younger kids - they would be happier there anyway.

    While banning seems a bit harsh, I definitely agree that people should not be bringing overtired cranky toddlers to fancy restaurants. Tip, if they don't have kids menu, there is a reason for that. lol

    I guess I don't see this as banning. Child-free restaurants as just another option among a long list of eating out options. It's just catering to one niche of people that is their target audience. I guess I see it as a business strategy, or a value proposition to the people they are marketing towards.

    Maybe there is a stigma attached to the word ban, Child free restaurant sounds perfectly fine. Plenty of non parents or even parents looking to get away can enjoy some peace and quiet.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    Options
    Take her out of the store and home, immediately, and make sure she knows her behavior is unacceptable and that you are angry. This kid needs discipline. Yelling in public is not acceptable, nor are tantrums anywhere at any time. When I was a kid, this would merit a serious spanking. I would never have dreamed of acting like that in a public place. Parents today are so scared of their kids that there is little discipline and far too much permissiveness.

    When you immediately group all parents of our society into one idea of what you think they are... Yeah...

    anigif_enhanced-buzz-25468-1342450895-3.gif
  • Morgan5647
    Morgan5647 Posts: 598 Member
    Options
    I can see both sides tbh. Don't get me wrong I am not Mother Nature but I don't like the thought of someone saying your kid is not welcome. I also don't take my kids out at night-7pm is bedtime and they are happy and ready at this stage for bed. I hate seeing kids in restaurants at 9 or 10 at night I don't think that's right.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    Options
    Even if you have the item she wants at home, she probably doesn't realize what you are saying. They are not THERE in the MOMENT.

    I would try pretending to have the bubbles. Then remind her they are at home and say let's blow some when we get home!
    (Remember to actually do this after you put your frozen stuff away).

    Ask "How big would you blow a bubble? Show me!"
    "Would it be THIS big?"
    "What if it was tiny?"
    "Do you think it would look like a rainbow?"
    "Tell me about a rainbow!"

    This would be engaging, acknowledge she's seen something she wants, and you both have a nice conversation.

    That is great. Distraction is definitely something I haven't tried!
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I can see both sides tbh. Don't get me wrong I am not Mother Nature but I don't like the thought of someone saying your kid is not welcome. I also don't take my kids out at night-7pm is bedtime and they are happy and ready at this stage for bed. I hate seeing kids in restaurants at 9 or 10 at night I don't think that's right.

    But it's not like your kid even knows or cares that there is some restaurant out there that is 18 and older. Or 15 and older. Or whatever. It's not really hurting anyone - only people who choose to be offended over something that, in the grand scheme of life, is pretty minor. If it's the only restaurant in town, then I agree that it's not fair. But with so many options these days I can't really understand the upset. People who don't want to be around children on a night out should have options the same way that people with children should have options. There's enough room for everyone to choose their environment.
  • ELMunque
    ELMunque Posts: 136 Member
    Options
    I have a lot of kids and when they were little I took them to stores and to restaraunts and never had a problem with them throwing a fit. The only time it ever bothered other patrons was the two occassions where my kids choked on some food and ended up throwing up on the table. That was embarrassing. I never had a problem taking them to the store either. I always played the "if you do this than we can do this" game. And it always seemed to work wonders. And if they decided they wanted bubbles more than whatever we had planned for after shopping, I just got my feelings hurt and told them mommy really wanted to do the other thing and then they would cave. Every.Single.Time.

    The key to having a peaceful dinner out is jello. Always jello.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.
  • DMadelineP
    DMadelineP Posts: 50 Member
    Options
    You've got to show her you're in charge. You love her and are her friend, but when momma says something, it happens. You have to be really firm and unemotional when she is throwing a tantrum. Hold her (not painfully!!!!) in front of you, look her in the eye, and tell her-
    "No. We have bubbles.You do not need bubbles. This behavior is very bad. Momma is not happy when you scream."

    Meanwhile, the kid is going to try and look everywhere but your eyes, starts squealing and squirming everywhere and then you just have to wait it out, not paying attention, keeping a straight face. Once they see emotion or once you give them attention, they've won.
    As for the people eying you whilst you wait it out, they should mind their own business and let you do your parenting. The kid will misbehave sometimes and that's ok, as long as you don't encourage it. If you're nice and give her what she wants when she;s screaming, she's just gonna scream every time she wants something for the rest of your life... She'll never grow out of it, it'll just change in form...
    Control your toddler and don't mind others, because if you can;t control her now and show her who's supposed to be respected and listened to, teen and tween years will suck...(for you) and then when she's in her twenties she'll be blaming you...

    Simultaneously though, you MUST be nice to her and give her what she wants when she asks for it the nice way, when she behaves correctly if you do not REWARD her, it'll be just as bad.
    Pay no heed to the poor attention-getting behaviors, just warn her that she won't get what she wants, explain that the bahavior is bad and why it is so, and let it go... and reward good behaviors!
    Best of luck! You seem like an awesome mom!!! Way to go!!!;))
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.

    I truly don't care, but the restaurant that turns me away with kids will be one I don't come back to with clients. And please, don't come up to me and talk about my kids in a restaurant unless I know you. It's patronizing and rude and my kids don't need your validation. I think the biggest lesson in all of this is people should mind their own business. I do what benefits my family and me and I don't seek or need anyone's permission. If you don't like my kids, tough luck. There are plenty of people whom I find rude and obnoxious and they certainly are not limited to children. I can't change them so I just avoid them.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.

    I truly don't care, but the restaurant that turns me away with kids will be one I don't come back to with clients. And please, don't come up to me and talk about my kids in a restaurant unless I know you. It's patronizing and rude and my kids don't need your validation. I think the biggest lesson in all of this is people should mind their own business. I do what benefits my family and me and I don't seek or need anyone's permission. If you don't like my kids, tough luck. There are plenty of people whom I find rude and obnoxious and they certainly are not limited to children. I can't change them so I just avoid them.

    Wow. You're so friendly, today.

    For the record, the people I talked to had a really cool kid that picked my napkin up for me when I dropped it. Jesus Christ, lighten up.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.

    I truly don't care, but the restaurant that turns me away with kids will be one I don't come back to with clients. And please, don't come up to me and talk about my kids in a restaurant unless I know you. It's patronizing and rude and my kids don't need your validation. I think the biggest lesson in all of this is people should mind their own business. I do what benefits my family and me and I don't seek or need anyone's permission. If you don't like my kids, tough luck. There are plenty of people whom I find rude and obnoxious and they certainly are not limited to children. I can't change them so I just avoid them.

    But... it's just someone complimenting you/your kids. Not trying to be patronizing.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Options
    there is an advert on in the UK where the kids starts and the Mom throws herself on the floor having a paddy herself ... once shocked kid ... not sure if this works in RL but I would love to see it.

    BTW not a parent
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.

    I truly don't care, but the restaurant that turns me away with kids will be one I don't come back to with clients. And please, don't come up to me and talk about my kids in a restaurant unless I know you. It's patronizing and rude and my kids don't need your validation. I think the biggest lesson in all of this is people should mind their own business. I do what benefits my family and me and I don't seek or need anyone's permission. If you don't like my kids, tough luck. There are plenty of people whom I find rude and obnoxious and they certainly are not limited to children. I can't change them so I just avoid them.

    But... it's just someone complimenting you/your kids. Not trying to be patronizing.

    Some people just look for things to be pissed about. God forbid we live in a society that says "Hey, thanks for picking up my napkin! Hey you - your kid is pretty cool with that chivalry of his." I mean, the horror!
  • jigsawxyouth
    jigsawxyouth Posts: 308 Member
    Options
    Seriously child free places???!!!!! People have kids, kids throw tantrums and the world doesn't stop. You do the best you can with your child because it will end and they will grow up and you will miss the tantrums.

    I don't see a problem with child-free restaurants and I think kids are great. But, when parents bring kids to fancy restaurants (especially at a time when they KNOW their kids should be in bed) and there's a tantrum and the parents don't walk out, it's frustrating. If I'm going out at 8pm to a nice restaurant that's going to cost me a lot of money, it's reasonable for me to expect that there won't be children running around. There are plenty of great family restaurants for younger kids - they would be happier there anyway.

    While banning seems a bit harsh, I definitely agree that people should not be bringing overtired cranky toddlers to fancy restaurants. Tip, if they don't have kids menu, there is a reason for that. lol

    I guess I don't see this as banning. Child-free restaurants as just another option among a long list of eating out options. It's just catering to one niche of people that is their target audience. I guess I see it as a business strategy, or a value proposition to the people they are marketing towards.

    Maybe there is a stigma attached to the word ban, Child free restaurant sounds perfectly fine. Plenty of non parents or even parents looking to get away can enjoy some peace and quiet.

    Child free restaurant?

    You mean a bar...
    2py2wdt.gif


    but for real, regardless what other patrons/forever alone dudebros do (death stare, belly ache, etc) it's not going to stop a kid throwing a tantrum...
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.

    I truly don't care, but the restaurant that turns me away with kids will be one I don't come back to with clients. And please, don't come up to me and talk about my kids in a restaurant unless I know you. It's patronizing and rude and my kids don't need your validation. I think the biggest lesson in all of this is people should mind their own business. I do what benefits my family and me and I don't seek or need anyone's permission. If you don't like my kids, tough luck. There are plenty of people whom I find rude and obnoxious and they certainly are not limited to children. I can't change them so I just avoid them.

    Wow. You're so friendly, today.

    For the record, the people I talked to had a really cool kid that picked my napkin up for me when I dropped it. Jesus Christ, lighten up.

    Yea, that came off as way crankier than I intended. I just don't like having meals interrupted and I don't want my kids thinking that they're doing anything unusual when they're behaving
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    Options

    but for real, regardless what other patrons/forever alone dudebros do (death stare, belly ache, etc) it's not going to stop a kid throwing a tantrum...

    :laugh:

    In my experience, adults who openly complain about kids throwing tantrums are quick to throw them if they don't get their ways.

    One of these I find far more pathetic than the other.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options

    but for real, regardless what other patrons/forever alone dudebros do (death stare, belly ache, etc) it's not going to stop a kid throwing a tantrum...

    :laugh:

    +1. I might have to use dudebros from now on.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.

    I truly don't care, but the restaurant that turns me away with kids will be one I don't come back to with clients. And please, don't come up to me and talk about my kids in a restaurant unless I know you. It's patronizing and rude and my kids don't need your validation. I think the biggest lesson in all of this is people should mind their own business. I do what benefits my family and me and I don't seek or need anyone's permission. If you don't like my kids, tough luck. There are plenty of people whom I find rude and obnoxious and they certainly are not limited to children. I can't change them so I just avoid them.

    But... it's just someone complimenting you/your kids. Not trying to be patronizing.

    I've had it happen enough where it has become annoying. I don't walk up to you while you're eating and compliment your dress. Obviously, there are normal interactions but don't interrupt a stranger's meal.

    ETA: of course, for you, Odus, I might. The thing is my oldest is smart enough to go, "see daddy, we're perfect, can we have two desserts?" when this happens.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    I've taken my kids into nicer restaurants since they were toddlers. I have never had a problem with them or anyone else. Sure, a true Michelin 3-Star no, but kids have too eat too and when I'm traveling there's little choice. Besides, my kids are better behaved than many adults.

    I think that's great. My parents took me out a lot, too. And when I do see kids behaving in a restaurant, I'll be the first to acknowledge it and even comment about how great your kids are...

    But if there is a choice and you have one nice restaurant that is childfree next to one that is not child free, are you going to be offended? To me that's like someone being offended at sports bars because sports are on and they don't like sports.

    I truly don't care, but the restaurant that turns me away with kids will be one I don't come back to with clients. And please, don't come up to me and talk about my kids in a restaurant unless I know you. It's patronizing and rude and my kids don't need your validation. I think the biggest lesson in all of this is people should mind their own business. I do what benefits my family and me and I don't seek or need anyone's permission. If you don't like my kids, tough luck. There are plenty of people whom I find rude and obnoxious and they certainly are not limited to children. I can't change them so I just avoid them.

    Wow. You're so friendly, today.

    For the record, the people I talked to had a really cool kid that picked my napkin up for me when I dropped it. Jesus Christ, lighten up.

    Yea, that came off as way crankier than I intended. I just don't like having meals interrupted and I don't want my kids thinking that they're doing anything unusual when they're behaving

    Now that I can understand. I would never interrupt someone's meal. I may smile sometimes though because kids are cute. I was out the other day and a young girl - maybe 5, I don't know - ordered escargot with authority! Color me impressed. I had to laugh a little.

Categories