Why did the person above you dump you?

Megan101792 · August 2014

Her husband didn't like her in my bed

TyphonRex · August 2014

It all started going downhill after the bank heist in Raton, New Mexico...

Kaelakcr · August 2014

I wouldn't help him sack and pillage a small country.

Phoenix__Rising · August 2014

She thought my singing was awful.

Angee_B · August 2014

Because I did help him sack nd pillage a small country...

"Gee Brain...what are we goin to do tomorrow night"...."same thing we do every nite pinky, try to take over the world"

Angee_B · August 2014

Cuz she types faster then me...damn...

Phoenix__Rising · August 2014

She disliked mytypos.

DenDweller · August 2014

She consulted a Ouija board, an oracle, tarot cards, mummified bones of a two-headed snake, the entrails of a virgin yak slaughtered at the last stroke of midnight and Dear Abby. They all agreed we should part ways.

I don't believe Dear Abby was being sincere. She always had it in for me.

aurorareigns · August 2014

They dumped me cause they thought I was eating less than 1200 calories

DenDweller · August 2014

She didn't like my reaction when she presented me with a cross-stitch that read "you're fair to middling".

Kaelakcr · August 2014

Because he was sick of me running around the house at 6 am, singing The Sound of Music while making crappy dresses out of his nice curtains.

assthetik · August 2014

Ddnt like that i walked around shirtless

Kaelakcr · August 2014

Ddnt like that i walked around shirtless

Well that doesn't sound like me...

He didn't like that I walk around naked.

YF92 · August 2014

She gets scared when I'm annoyed and I make this sound:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0_4dwF9A4

p8liwag · August 2014

I wouldn't rub his feet

115s · August 2014

Told me if I didn't eat anything but bacon for three months, they'd sneak extra calories into everything I ate, including my water. I was not okay with this.