OOOH I SERIOUSLY NEED TO VENT!!

lkoconnell
lkoconnell Posts: 21
in Health and Weight Loss
So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.
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Replies

  • Shushanna01
    Shushanna01 Posts: 8 Member
    Maybe you should say it to him, after giving yourself time to decide exactly how best to say it. Your feelings of frustration are completely valid, and it's important for him to know how what he said affected you.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,232 Member
    So say it to him! He's your husband, you have a legislative right to tell him to pull his head out of his *kitten* when neccesary!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I agree, you need to talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    Everyone has excuses for why they can't go to the gym.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    Just break up.
  • lkoconnell
    lkoconnell Posts: 21
    I still go 3 days a week :O/. His comment just irritated me and I just logged in right when he said it so mfp land got to be my sound board.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    You don't need to go to the gym to lose weight, you just need to eat at a deficit.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • woo1324
    woo1324 Posts: 168 Member
    No use holding back tell him otherwise you will just sit and stew over it and it will never get resolved maybe he needs a reminder of just how hard you actually work
  • raindawg
    raindawg Posts: 348 Member
    I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,282 Member
    So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.

    Sounds like you married a good provider.

    I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic or serious but either way I don't understand what you mean by this comment. :indifferent:

    OP I guess only you know if your husband meant to be motivating but it came out wrong or if something else is going on.

    Heck, I'm way slacker than you - I never go to gyms :smile: but that's fine, it's not something I want to do.if it is something you want to do, you need to find a way to do it.
    If you don't want your husbands input, you need to tell him so.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
  • lkoconnell
    lkoconnell Posts: 21
    I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.
    Lol thank you :O)
  • Biggirllittledreams
    Biggirllittledreams Posts: 306 Member
    I agree - you should say these things to him! If you're this frustrated over his lack of support and understanding, then he needs to know not only where you're coming from, but how he can better support you.

    If it's any solace, i'm in the same boat;i work 8 hours a day (i'm on my feet for all but my 15 minute and 30 minute break), yet i go to the gym literally every single day if at all possible. Many people think i'm insane for it/don't give me credit for it, but dang i know it takes a lot of work so i give myself credit for it - and you should too! Those three days take dedication, so i hope you're able to feel pride in them. :)
  • kpk54
    kpk54 Posts: 4,474 Member
    Just remember to call him everyday at noon to wake him up from his nap. :bigsmile:
  • Biggirllittledreams
    Biggirllittledreams Posts: 306 Member
    Just break up.

    This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.

    This. I can understand taking a few minutes to calm yourself to make sure that you can speak rationally about the issue, and plan how best to present it. However, if you can't talk to your husband about this, then there's a much bigger issue at hand.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    The upside ... at least he's willing to call you out on not going... my DH would do the same. Many people have spouses who wouldn't give a crap about their partners goals. I've been on both sides of that fence, and I'd rather slap my DH upside the head for telling me to stop slacking. Sometimes I suspect he pisses me off on purpose because he knows I go on a cleaning binge when I'm REALLY pissed. :grumble:
  • MrsWashington82
    MrsWashington82 Posts: 50 Member
    What a jerk!
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    I said the same thing to my husband actually...and that was sort of his response...he is a power engineer and does 12 hour shifts and depending on what his job is at the moment that could be 12 hours of sitting or 8 hours of sitting and 4 hours of walking around or 6 and 6...

    That doesn't help his health or fitness.

    He actually told me he would get more steps in on his 12 hour shifts than I would in 2 days so I told him to put on the pedometer...he didn't.

    He is out of shape and he finally admitted it. I am a smoker and I am not out of breath walking up a hill...he is. When I walk solo it's 4-4.5mph...with him 3 maybe 3.5 if he tries. We did paintball on Sunday...he was like "holy I have to do more cardio"...he was out of breath..I wasn't.

    I am an office worker and I get in 3.5miles at work...that isn't hard to do. You have an moderately active job...okay that doesn't make you fit or healthy. Getting out and doing purposeful exercise does that.

    So take what your DH said and take it or leave it...mine took it and is working out with me every weeknight now..and if we miss a day because of his shift...we do it on the weekend and he feels much better for it and he noticed at his job the stairs aren't quite as hard and he's not quite as tired anymore...hmmm
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    I like that my husband and I are honest with each other, if I'm slacking or making excuses, he calls me on them. I do the same with him, if anything we say to each other bothers us, we talk about it. I don't run to strangers to vent. I communicate my issues with him.

    Complaining that your husband takes a nap after working all day, seems like your issue not his. He worked all day what's wrong with coming home and taking a nap? So you work, most people on here do, and still find ways to work out.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    I still go 3 days a week :O/. His comment just irritated me and I just logged in right when he said it so mfp land got to be my sound board.

    Vent away. Pretty sure that wasn't the first time he irritated you and unfortunately - if you stay married for any length of time - not even close to the last.

    If you are that hurt - talk to him. If you can let it go - move on and keep doing what you're doing. :flowerforyou:
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Why does every girl on this site thinks that we're all your sassy sidekick friend who will join you and make sassy remarks towards your SO behind his back?

    Edited due to potentially adding to the stereotype
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.

    :huh:
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    I still go 3 days a week :O/. His comment just irritated me and I just logged in right when he said it so mfp land got to be my sound board.

    Vent away. Pretty sure that wasn't the first time he irritated you and unfortunately - if you stay married for any length of time - not even close to the last.

    If you are that hurt - talk to him. If you can let it go - move on and keep doing what you're doing. :flowerforyou:

    This. Definitely this.

    I can understand wanting a sounding board. :flowerforyou: I'd have been irritated too! Just talk to him about it once you've had a chance to breathe. And I think it's amazing that you're a teacher. Teachers don't get nearly enough credit for what they do.
  • LifeWithPie
    LifeWithPie Posts: 552 Member
    You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.

    This. I can understand taking a few minutes to calm yourself to make sure that you can speak rationally about the issue, and plan how best to present it. However, if you can't talk to your husband about this, then there's a much bigger issue at hand.

    Agree with both. In my opinion it's extremely immature to be whining about your significant other on an Internet forum.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    You know what - none of us know anything about you or your husband: he could be a really kind and loving guy who was trying to support your training with a bit of humor and touched a nerve, or he could be a nasty, controlling *kitten* who uses snide remarks to make you feel small...

    So all I can say is - glad you got that off your chest.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Just get a divorce, or sleep with a coworker who is attracted to you.

    You're welcome.
  • rebeccaisafish
    rebeccaisafish Posts: 87 Member
    He worked all day what's wrong with coming home and taking a nap?


    6 hours is all day now? What are those of us that work 10 or more hours doing? Those doing 12 hour shifts are working two days at once?
    6 hours is not even close to all day.
  • laurie04427
    laurie04427 Posts: 421 Member
    Say what you just wrote to him.

    Edit: ...or you could do what I do when the hubs gives me unwanted advice: Give him a big enthusiastic smile and say "Okay!". Then do what you want lol. Always give that same exact reaction to the unwanted advice. It trains them eventually to cut it out.

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