OOOH I SERIOUSLY NEED TO VENT!!

Just remember to call him everyday at noon to wake him up from his nap. :bigsmile:

We so think alike. I didn't know it was you, Kathy, at first! But to the OP: I totally agree with this. Take it one further and have several of your friends call him also during his nap.

He should have said: Slacker with a lot of excuses....

just say it to him and ask him to trade jobs for a day.

I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

+1

Studies have shown, women who have a little extra weight on them tend to live longer than the men who mention it

That attempt at humor is sexist and demeaning to men, and has absolutely no place here.

:laugh:

After reading this again, I don't think the comment is the real issue here. I think you may be resenting him a bit for having a different schedule and it's manifesting itself here. If this is the case, then you REALLY need to address it with him because that's a problem that will do far more harm than some off-the-cuff remark.

Just break up.

7 posts, 9 minutes until the slightest whiff of relationship strife prompts this post. That's actually quite a long time for this site. The general rule is to recommend that people just abandon a relationship instead of work on it and discuss their issues with their partner.

Tell him. Please, for the love of everything holy, TELL. HIM.

He may have been joking, but he won't know that he upset you or why until you directly tell him why. Be an adult and use your words. It is so frustrating to have your S/O mad at you for some obscure reason, only for it to come out of the woodwork days, weeks, months, or years later.

You should not feel more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers you problem with your husband than you do with your husband himself.

I would disagree with this statement - I think it would be awesome if every marriage is an open book where people communicate at a level of adulthood always - yet, sadly - because we are all just human - it's rarely the case.

I think venting like this in a fairly 'neutral' forum allows someone to maybe take the emotion out of it - so that when she does decide to finally communicate with him she has a better grasp on what she has to say

^^

This!

My emotional reactions can start a big deal out of almost nothing, so it's far better for me to vent, than process the emotion, than let the logic set in, than it is too just react unprepared.

Case in point... my boyfriend is in college for engineering. In theory, this is a wonderful time consuming investment in our future. We talked about it ahead of time about how there are going to be times that we can't spend as much time together to study. In theory, I'm a totally supportive girlfriend who supports his goals, and understands his investment in the future, and will not freak out when he cancels.

So... last night he had to work late and cancelled on me at the last minute.

I was sooooooooo mad. He promised he would come this time after several cancellations since school started.

I was so mad I yelled in this office than refused to talk to him for 15 minutes.

I wanted to say "You promised! Liar! You don't need to study every single day!" but that's just not supportive, is it?

So I vented, talked him him about 20 minutes later, and tried to be supportive of his decision.

Venting is part of processing feelings and emotions, so vent on.

So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.

In the words of Troy from "Swamp People", "Just Choot 'em :laugh:

i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

Also ... isn't it summer vacation?

i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

Also ... isn't it summer vacation?

Depends on the region. Down here in AL, kids started on August 5th, teachers were back at the school prepping end of July.

i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

Also ... isn't it summer vacation?

Depends on the region. Down here in AL, kids started on August 5th, teachers were back at the school prepping end of July.

Yup, my horde went back August 5th. Chaos and craziness. However, I can't wait for fall break. Hitting up the Redneck Riviera for the whole week!

Seriously ... I would look him up and down .. next time he is standing :bigsmile: ( And say , ''Babe if you think i am a slacker , What mirror you been looking in lately ? Because i would like to borrow it !!!

Then go to the bathroom ... when he is not looking and put kitchen detergent on the porcelain seat ..let it dry ... so when he sits down the toilet lid squeaks :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

That will have him thinking :happy:

Ignore the remark and carry on. It's not what he thinks, but what you know to be true. Being reactive, is not always the right thing to do.