OOOH I SERIOUSLY NEED TO VENT!!

1235

Replies

  • divediva2
    divediva2 Posts: 297 Member
    Invite him to come to the gym with you. And if his comment does bother you, tell him so. Tell him what you need so you can get to the gym.

    Many here do have busy jobs but still manage to get to the gym. I am a nurse, you want to see some steps, follow a nurse around for the day.

    And a little venting here does no harm!
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

    Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

    Not advice on what you should do but..
    If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

    Hope things go better for you very soon!

    Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.


    AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
    She was hurt and upset, I am figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
    I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
    If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

    She also takes the fact that he gets to take a nap after work while she's still working. Plus she's a teacher you would think maybe just maybe she's mature enough to have a conversation with her husband. Now her husband has no clue anything is wrong because she couldn't open her mouth up to him and explain that it bothered her. Yea she sounds like the reasonable one in this..... No wonder the divorce rates are so high
  • 4daluvof_candice
    4daluvof_candice Posts: 483 Member
    So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .

    I personally would not be so offended to come online to "vent" becasue:

    1) It will make me aware that I may NOT be keeping the regimen that I initially said I was going to do in order to get in shape, be healthy, etc.
    2) I would be appreciative that my husband is actually paying attention that Im not keeping up with the regimen that I initially said I was going to do in order to get in shape, be healthy, etc. and willing to push me toward that goal.
    3) See 1&2

    But thats just me....:wink:
  • DeWitch
    DeWitch Posts: 34 Member
    I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

    Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

    Not advice on what you should do but..
    If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

    Hope things go better for you very soon!

    Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.


    AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
    She was hurt and upset, I figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
    I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
    If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

    I don't know anything, I just tend to want to get both sides of the story before I jump to one conclusion or the next.

    I didn't jump to conclusions either. I was complimenting "raindawg's" post and also just trying to soften the blow of some of the nasty comments that were posted here.
    Then I tried to make it funny by saying I would blast my husband for talking to me that way.
  • DeWitch
    DeWitch Posts: 34 Member
    I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

    Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

    Not advice on what you should do but..
    If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

    Hope things go better for you very soon!

    Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.


    AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
    She was hurt and upset, I figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
    I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
    If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

    She also takes the fact that he gets to take a nap after work while she's still working. Plus she's a teacher you would think maybe just maybe she's mature enough to have a conversation with her husband. Now her husband has no clue anything is wrong because she couldn't open her mouth up to him and explain that it bothered her. Yea she sounds like the reasonable one in this..... No wonder the divorce rates are so high

    Not exactly sure what you are saying but I used to be a "mouse" and never speak up when someone hurt me verbally - have known a few women like that and it is NOT good for you. After I got a job where I had to work with several mean people (mostly women) I got over being a "mouse" and no one "walks on me" any more.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

    Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

    Not advice on what you should do but..
    If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

    Hope things go better for you very soon!

    Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.


    AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
    She was hurt and upset, I am figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
    I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
    If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

    She also takes the fact that he gets to take a nap after work while she's still working. Plus she's a teacher you would think maybe just maybe she's mature enough to have a conversation with her husband. Now her husband has no clue anything is wrong because she couldn't open her mouth up to him and explain that it bothered her. Yea she sounds like the reasonable one in this..... No wonder the divorce rates are so high

    YES!!! Another place for that needed "like" button:)

    Agreed!
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Just break up.

    This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

    breaking up is not always an option
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Just break up.

    This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

    breaking up is not always an option

    Says you
  • tracie_minus100
    tracie_minus100 Posts: 465 Member
    Did you tell him you didn't like what he said? That it hurt/offended you?
    When my husband hurts my feelings or pisses me off, I tell him. If I upset him, he tells me. Then we talk about it and move on.
    Hopefully he was just trying to be helpful!
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
    So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.

    I agree you need to get to the gym ... and let some aggression out!!

    Your body is use to what you do on a daily, fitibit calories don't count unless you only wear it when you are running/ jogging/ working out.

    Are you saying your still going to the gym? or you did at one point for 3 years and have since stopped?

    I know ALLOT of teachers who workout in the mornings with me... maybe try going in the mornings?
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    Just break up.

    This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

    breaking up is not always an option
    Fear of that situation is what got me through college, I think.
  • loriq41
    loriq41 Posts: 479 Member
    I would tell my hubby straight to his face and probably say it in a very evil way..but then again. we have been together since I was 20 and he was 19..no holds barred! lol
  • lkoconnell
    lkoconnell Posts: 21
    i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

    if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

    Also ... isn't it summer vacation?
    Nope not in AZ. We start school at the beg. of Aug. SMH
  • lkoconnell
    lkoconnell Posts: 21
    From the OP's profile:

    "Now the hubs and I started a great gym routine. 6 days a week : 4-5 weight training and 3-4 cardio. I'm really enjoying it as I used to be a gym rat back in the day. "

    So yeah she has a busy job, kids, still manages to make it to the gym 3 x per week. But, without knowing anymore backstory than presented here, it looks like she was trying to do 6 x. So, in that sense, hubby was correct - she is slacking. Obviously, there are ways to say that, and maybe he used the wrong one, but OP does appear to not be meeting the goals she set herself. Should he never say anything?

    Yep that was during the summer when i had all the free time in the world. Well not so much now.
  • gonzanab
    gonzanab Posts: 117 Member
    The key to a relationship is communication. You should sit down and talk to him about your feelings about what he said. He may not have noticed that it offended you.
  • JulieGirl58
    JulieGirl58 Posts: 158 Member
    My balding husband once said to me, "Maybe you'd like to lose some weight". I replied, "maybe you'd like to grow your hair back." End of discussion.
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  • mebepiglet123
    mebepiglet123 Posts: 327 Member
    This is probaly why he said it.... This is your introduction from mfp ...

    So I'm at my wit's end with my weight! I gained way too much while on Lexapro. (Tmi???) I started running in Nov and have not lost a single pound or inch! Now the hubs and I started a great gym routine. 6 days a week : 4-5 weight training and 3-4 cardio. I'm really enjoying it as I used to be a gym rat back in the day.
    I'm mommy to 3 year old Kayelyn as and 20 year old Aaron. I teach 3rd grade and I'm addicted to pinterest.

    If you were going to the gym with your husband 6 days a week...then drop it to 3...
    Are you eating right? Why do you have no energy after working a normal job... Most of us work.

    Dunno, could be a jerk or maybe he is missing you at the gym.
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  • Dawn5202
    Dawn5202 Posts: 25 Member
    My husband got frustrated with me last week, because I haven't been working out. I was upset, but I didn't argue with him, and said that I knew that he was right. About 10 minutes later, he came back in the house and told me that it was none of his business and that he shouldn't add guilt on top of what I was feeling and that he was sorry. And this is why I am still married to him after 20 years. It made it easier to listen to him because I was feeling loved instead of harped on! Tell your husband that his words hurt and frustrated you and tell him why. Then be honest with yourself about your workouts and what you want them to be and it may be that you are satisfied with where you are at. If you are, share that with your husband as well. And let him know that this is a personal journey and all you need from him is encouragement!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    "to have and to hold..." you to your resolutions and other promises... at least that's how I always interpreted those words in the traditional wedding vows.

    I think he did a very nice thing, actually, reminding you of your goals and such.
  • BuddhaMom74
    BuddhaMom74 Posts: 147
    This is why I'm single!

    "Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company" ~ Booker T. Washington
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    My balding husband once said to me, "Maybe you'd like to lose some weight". I replied, "maybe you'd like to grow your hair back." End of discussion.

    You can fix being fat. I'd say that discussion was just beginning :)
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    Just break up.

    This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

    breaking up is not always an option

    Breaking up is always an option.

    It may not be the best option - but it is ALWAYS an option.
  • sk_pirate
    sk_pirate Posts: 282 Member
    My husband once told me in his sleep "Don't worry, the 30 Day Shred should help." I just laughed, because I agreed with him. Now I tease him about it endlessly. :wink:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • JulieGirl58
    JulieGirl58 Posts: 158 Member
    My balding husband once said to me, "Maybe you'd like to lose some weight". I replied, "maybe you'd like to grow your hair back." End of discussion.

    My point was that we should accept the changes in each other and not state the obvious.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Just break up.

    This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

    breaking up is not always an option
    Fear of that situation is what got me through college, I think.

    LOL:laugh:
  • DeWitch
    DeWitch Posts: 34 Member
    My balding husband once said to me, "Maybe you'd like to lose some weight". I replied, "maybe you'd like to grow your hair back." End of discussion.

    11i304y.jpg
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    My balding husband once said to me, "Maybe you'd like to lose some weight". I replied, "maybe you'd like to grow your hair back." End of discussion.

    My point was that we should accept the changes in each other and not state the obvious.

    In for supporting our loved ones' unhealthy and self-destructive habits. Because that's real love.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    My balding husband once said to me, "Maybe you'd like to lose some weight". I replied, "maybe you'd like to grow your hair back." End of discussion.

    My point was that we should accept the changes in each other and not state the obvious.

    In for supporting our loved ones' unhealthy and self-destructive habits. Because that's real love.

    svps.gif

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