I prefer not get weight loss comments

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  • SEAFOODMAN
    SEAFOODMAN Posts: 342
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    oh brother
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
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    I never turn down a compliment.

    This. Come on, lighten up! Most weight loss (now I said MOST not ALL) is a result of hard work that people are proud of. It is a visible sign that you've stuck to your guns and did the hard work required. And most people are just trying to acknowledge that because just about everyone knows how hard it is to lose weight. I can't understand why someone acknowledging your hard work is a bad thing. And if losing weight weren't healthier (or more attractive), why are so many people doing it?
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean. I know that the comments are meant well. The people who make them know how long and hard I've worked. So I always accept them gracefully and genuinely appreciate the sentiment behind them. However, I would prefer my body not be the focus of any conversation. There's also always the "you look so much better!" comments, which I feel are still meant well, but are much more poorly phrased. I mean, I never felt I looked bad, even at my heaviest weight ever.

    In any case, people always notice changes and will comment on them. I try to focus on the feelings behind the words.
  • wannakimmy
    wannakimmy Posts: 488 Member
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    People are going to talk, nothing is going to change that. Either graciously accept the compliment, or tell them how you feel.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    I find them akward especially if they make a big deal about it.I just don't like attention
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Next time a woman compliments me on my physique I will knock her back by asking if she thought I looked unattractive before I started hitting the gym. :devil:
  • jennifurballs
    jennifurballs Posts: 247 Member
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    I don't understand not liking a compliment that comes from a genuine place. I love it when someone says, "You look great! Have you lost weight?" I've worked my *kitten* off, literally, so acknowledgement/congrats for that feels great to me.

    That said, we're all different, so if it makes you uncomfortable, that's your truth. I just can't relate.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
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    This. +1.

    Maybe instead of taking it as a comment about how bad you looked before, take it as a comment about how all the hard work you've put in is now apparent to others.

    I really don't get this victim mentality. If I spent all day doing yard work, trimming, edging, weeding, and somebody says, wow..."your yard is looking great", I don't take it as them saying my yard was wrecked before. But I see it as my effort has produced results that is now visible by others.

    There will be plenty of opportunities to get offended by some person's backhanded comment about your appearance, so I suggest you take the genuine compliments when you get them, as they don't happen often.
    If you're talking about in real life, I agree, it is extremely rude for people to comment on another person's weight.

    Saying, "Hey, you look great. You look like you've lost weight!" is very insulting. It implies that the person didn't look as good at a higher weight.

    I often have people say this to me, even though I have not lost any weight.
    Essentially, they are making the faux pas that I do not look good at the weight that I am.

    I am very tired of weight stigma.
    It is harmful, and it causes much pain, and even eating disorders.
    No one should EVER comment on another person's weight, unless asked. And then one should be very careful to not imply that being a lesser weight is any more attractive or healthy (it most certainly is NOT necessarily healthier, it can be even LESS healthy to be of a lower weight) than to be at a higher weight.

    Even when someone has lost weight, it could be due to cancer, depression, an eating disorder, bulimia, compulsive exercise, self-hate, drug use for the purpose of weight loss, smoking for weight loss, etc., etc. It should never be presumed that weight loss is healthy, or that higher weight is less healthy. Plenty of people of higher weight have healthier lifestyles, and are healthier as a result, than people who are of lower weight.

    All of us know of slim couch potatoes who chain smoke and eat ramen or fast food daily. And many of us know people of greater size who work out regularly, and who eat nutritiously most or all of the time.

    Healthy lifestyle is PROVEN to be a greater predictor of health than weight.
    Sounds like you are just way to sensitive.
    If a simple comment is going to cause you so much pain then you may need to work on your confidence. Simple words should not have such a great impact on you.

    And if someone complimenting your weight loss is going to cause you to develop an eating disorder then you might have deeper issues.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    I agree with OP... I'd rather not have people comment at all.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    And for every one of these posts there are many more where people complain that nobody is commenting on their weight loss.

    It's one of those things where people just can't win no matter what they do.
  • MichelleV1990
    MichelleV1990 Posts: 806 Member
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    I don't understand not liking a compliment that comes from a genuine place. I love it when someone says, "You look great! Have you lost weight?" I've worked my *kitten* off, literally, so acknowledgement/congrats for that feels great to me.

    That said, we're all different, so if it makes you uncomfortable, that's your truth. I just can't relate.

    I'm in agreement with you on this one. I can't relate. :huh: With so many people being deliberately rude and self-centered these days, it's nice to hear some well-intentioned, kind words. To each his/her own though. :ohwell:
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    Maybe instead of taking it as a comment about how bad you looked before, take it as a comment about how all the hard work you've put in is now apparent to others.

    I really don't get this victim mentality. If I spent all day doing yard work, trimming, edging, weeding, and somebody says, wow..."your yard is looking great", I don't take it as them saying my yard was wrecked before. But I see it as my effort has produced results that is now visible by others.

    There will be plenty of opportunities to get offended by some person's backhanded comment about your appearance, so I suggest you take the genuine compliments when you get them, as they don't happen often.

    I see it this way as well. I never assume someone's being ugly and saying I looked bad before, particularly when it's someone I interact with on a regular basis and they've told me I looked nice in the past. People DO tend to look healthier when they lose weight. I don't think it's terrible for people to notice that.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Oh you!
  • cookieinbk82
    cookieinbk82 Posts: 320 Member
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    I hear you. After about 4 months of working hard and a 30 pound loss, I'm going back to work tomorrow after the summer off (I'm a teacher at a small school with lots of catty, yenta-type women AND men.) I started losing the weight before vacation but now I have a totally different body shape and size, thank God. On the one hand, I'm prepared for comments but I'd prefer not to get them as well. Reason being, it can be a total mindf*ck when people notice and comment, especially if I don't really like the person commenting. On the other hand, it IS validating right? So I'm a little ambivalent because for me the journey's not over -- I'm still planning on working my food program, planning meals, counting calories, and getting to the gym. I really haven't "arrived" at where I want to be...either personally or professionally, so I'm just going to take any feedback with a grain of salt - being self directed, not dependent on others' feedback got me so far - so God willing, the same mindset is going to keep me fit.

    I'm going back tomorrow too after the summer vacation. During the summer I lost 33 pounds. I wonder how everyone is going to react to my new body. Last time I lost weight I worked at a different type of job outside of education. The people at the other location were spreading rumors that I starve myself. However, I do like compliments.
  • Jlew64
    Jlew64 Posts: 13 Member
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    oh brother

    Yup... what ^^^he^^^ said
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,462 Member
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    Ultimately, you can't control what other people do, so the important thing is how you handle your response.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/people-will-notice-647269
  • NoMoreBlameGame
    NoMoreBlameGame Posts: 236 Member
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    I never turn down a compliment.

    This ^ =D
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,006 Member
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    I have received comments before I lost weight, have you lost weight??? Its like they feel the need to say something nice and they figure thats the nicest things they can say. I hated it.

    Now that I HAVE lost weight I can graciously say thank you.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
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    I'm fine with compliments, they come from a good place, usually; but not in the workplace. I'm all business and I don't think it's professional to mention someone's body in any way, shape or form at work...that makes me uncomfortable.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    I do not think you're way too sensitive as others have suggested. We are all different in what we prefer. I don't mind at all when people compliment me including on weight loss, but if someone gets way too personal with me about my diet, health, or other topics, I will tell them so, or politely refuse to answer too-personal questions.

    Perhaps you could smile and say "Thank you for the compliment, but it makes me feel really uncomfortable when others comment on my weight". Obviously you would need to say it in a very matter of fact yet diplomatic way. But I think if you have the right sort of personality it could really cut down on the comments without offending people (much).

    While it is a different topic, I've handled the same sort of thing in such a way with mostly successful outcomes. I live in the Bible belt and I am not religious. Hundreds of times over the years, coworkers, acquaintances, and total strangers have tried to converse at length with me about my belief system and I tell them that I feel that's a private topic for me and I prefer not to discuss it. Then I smile and change the subject.

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