I prefer not get weight loss comments

Options
1356789

Replies

  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
    Options
    I don't understand not liking a compliment that comes from a genuine place. I love it when someone says, "You look great! Have you lost weight?" I've worked my *kitten* off, literally, so acknowledgement/congrats for that feels great to me.

    That said, we're all different, so if it makes you uncomfortable, that's your truth. I just can't relate.

    I know. I can't wait until I've lost enough for people to notice. I ran into a few swim mom's yesterday and told them I'd lost 15 pounds. I'm too excited and on high right now that I want them to share in my journey.

    No, I don't think I need them to validate me. But, it will be nice to have all this hard work be recognized.
  • Siigh_duck
    Siigh_duck Posts: 161 Member
    Options
    xD People never comment on my weight loss, I wish they did :3
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,566 Member
    Options
    Healthy lifestyle is PROVEN to be a greater predictor of health than weight.
    Ah, but WEIGHT is still the NUMBER 1 predictor for health risk. Even an overweight healthy person would have a higher risk factor than if they were say 20lbs lighter.

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,566 Member
    Options
    Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • PurrlyGirl
    PurrlyGirl Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    I appreciate the sentiment, it comes from a good place, but I'd rather not have comments either (IRL - here on MFP, it's okay because that's what I'm here to talk about). I don't know it just always seems weird to make unsolicited comments on someone's body to me. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago when I was dangerously ill with what my doctors feared was uterine cancer (it wasn't, yay!), and comments about my weight just reminded me *why* I was losing weight and how awful it was... super depressing.

    In my opinion, commenting on someone's body should be like asking a woman if she's pregnant...you don't do it unless you know.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Options
    Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I think they do.
  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
    Options
    If someone tells me they like my haircut I don't automatically jump to the conclusion that they must have thought I looked terrible before.
    This whole thread makes me sad. You really are "damned if you do and damned if you don't".
  • Cryptonomnomicon
    Cryptonomnomicon Posts: 848 Member
    Options
    Only solution I can think of besides not losing weight.

    ITBhmHb.jpg

    Or you could either take it as a compliment...which I hear is a good thing or realize that people are going to a) have thoughts b) express them etc
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Options
    I know allot of people dig it but I prefer not get them.I don't get upset when I get them but I would rather they keep that to themselves.I use my old clothes to see if i am making progress and before and after picture so thats enough for me.Just like if I were to gain weight, I woudnt want comments on that either. Anyone feels the same?

    It's one of those things you don't have control over--people will give compliments to be nice or because they think it will make you happy or even just because they spontaneously do. It's considered polite to do so, although in different subcultures people will feel more or less comfortable commenting, IME.

    My thought is that given that you don't have control over it and know it's meant nicely, why not try and have a positive reaction to it? Whether you prefer it or not people are going to notice how you look, that's just life.
  • popsicklestar
    popsicklestar Posts: 166 Member
    Options
    I understand where the op is coming from. The comments don't offend me or piss me off, but sometimes I do wonder if people thought I didn't look good before. I've only lost a little under 30 pounds, and I was fit and working out before. I was just heavier because I used to eat more. It's also a little unsettling to feel like your weight and your appearance define how people see you, even when it's not that drastic of a loss. I want to feel like people treat me the same no matter how I look just based on who I am, but that's sadly just not the way the world works. I think it's better to give a more neutral compliment, like, "You look great!" without explicitly referring to their weightloss.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
    Options
    People will comment on changes in your appearance, because that's is what is the most visible. It's no different than "nice haircut" or "I like your new jacket". Your personality changes, or improvements in your mind aren't apparent to others immediately. We aren't psychic. And on the flip side, if I comment "you are in a good mood today!", am I suggesting that you were a stick in the mud or a Debbie downer before? Maybe we shouldn't give compliments anymore, since people can always find a way to be offended no matter the intention of the person giving the compliment.
    I understand where the op is coming from. The comments don't offend me or piss me off, but sometimes I do wonder if people thought I didn't look good before. I've only lost a little under 30 pounds, and I was fit and working out before. I was just heavier because I used to eat more. It's also a little unsettling to feel like your weight and your appearance define how people see you, even when it's not that drastic of a loss. I want to feel like people treat me the same no matter how I look just based on who I am, but that's sadly just not the way the world works. I think it's better to give a more neutral compliment, like, "You look great!" without explicitly referring to their weightloss.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I think they do.

    yes, because it has nothing to do with being 'offended', it has to do with the attention being focused on them - which causes them to be 'uncomfortable'. Some people are shy. Not everyone welcomes compliments. It's not right or wrong, it just is. Everyone is different.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    Options
    Just wondering if people who get "offended" by compliments on weight, feel the same if someone says "Hey, nice dress/jacket/shoes" or "Hey like the haircut/tan/nail polish".

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I think they do.

    yes, because it has nothing to do with being 'offended', it has to do with the attention being focused on them - which causes them to be 'uncomfortable'. Some people are shy. Not everyone welcomes compliments. It's not right or wrong, it just is. Everyone is different.

    Well, if you go back and read you'll see that actually several people mentioned being offended because in their mind a compliment today implies that they looked terrible before. Yes, some people are simply uncomfortable with any attention but that's not what is being addressed.
  • MaidensAndMonsters
    MaidensAndMonsters Posts: 89
    Options
    I don't really so much mind someone noticing my hard work but I hate the comments of "OMG you look so beautiful!" or "OMG you look great". I was beautiful before I lost weight.....I'm just smaller now.
  • KathrynEMcGrady
    KathrynEMcGrady Posts: 18
    Options
    If it's a sincere compliment, accept it with grace. If it's a backhanded compliment, tell 'em to f' off. Why would you put any more thought into it than that?

    I like this plan. I'm gonna go with this!
  • Amerielle
    Amerielle Posts: 153 Member
    Options
    There is no winning around here. People are either offended if others mention their weight loss or offended if they don't. Maybe everyone should wear a sign to let other people know what they are allowed to say.

    Personally I am delighted to accept any and all compliments. (working on my sign right now)

Categories