"You MUST send me a message if you want to be my friend"
Replies
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It is generally considered lazy and kind of rude to send a FR without a message. Who just adds random people without mutuals or any knowledge of their personality whatsoever? I am uncomfortable with accepting those.0
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My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.0
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Hmm. Person who feels entitled to have every stranger accept their creepy, random, blank friend request.
Has closed profile preventing strangers (oh -- and anyone they send a blank friend request to -- LOL!) from seeing anything about them.
Okay.0 -
It is generally considered lazy and kind of rude to send a FR without a message. Who just adds random people without mutuals or any knowledge of their personality whatsoever? I am uncomfortable with accepting those.0
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Hmm. Person who feels entitled to have every stranger accept their creepy, random, blank friend request.
Has closed profile preventing strangers (oh -- and anyone they send an blank friend request to -- LOL!) can't see anything about them.
Okay.
Ha! Exactly. OP, wait until you add a rando who immediately starts acting a fool and completely creeping you out. I promise you will feel differently about this issue.0 -
Seriously. Or looking for motivation. I'm not motivating!"Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
"I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
"Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
"You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."
It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.
It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"
Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.0 -
My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.
I actually had my profile public for a long time. I got a very creepy message about a picture of my daughter that was in my profile and I closed it. I have not made it public since then.
But I see your point... still I can choose to accept or deny at my leisure. It's my MFP account.0 -
Leaving a message takes all of two seconds...is it REALLY that big of a deal not to send one. I happen to be one of those people and yes I do in fact like to know how the person found me. if we have mutual friends or they feel I can help them in some way.
I agree with this! I only have just 40+ friends and keep it small0 -
Seriously. Or looking for motivation. I'm not motivating!"Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
"I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
"Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
"You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."
It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.
It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"
Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.
Yes, these are definitely all true. I'm in no way motivating... unless it's motivating towards some ice cream/gelato, lol. I'm just saying, it's nice to know why a person is FR'ing you. Doesn't have to be a compliment in anyway. I've gotten FR's simply because I live in the same state as the other person. I'm cool with that. Or because I like Dr. Who. Yay whovians! But it only takes a few seconds to type those things out to the person you want to FR, and who knows, it could open up a whole new chapter of socialization because of it.0 -
My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.
I actually had my profile public for a long time. I got a very creepy message about a picture of my daughter that was in my profile and I closed it. I have not made it public since then.
But I see your point... still I can choose to accept or deny at my leisure. It's my MFP account.
This is why mine is private. Someone started copying my pictures and posting them in threads. Not cool. I am open to FRs, but I just want to know a little something about the person first or gain a sense of their personality in the forums. Nothing about that is unreasonable.0 -
My favorite thing is all the people who post about having these strict requirements to be their friends - and then you check out their profile and it's private so nobody can actually know any of that (including to send them a message with the fr) unless they are already their friend. And there are 3 like that who posted just on the first page of this thread.
I don't post it on my page, so there's no point in keeping my profile open. I'm not actively seeking friends.0 -
"Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
"I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
"Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
"You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."
It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.
It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"
Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.
How about the awkward way I propositioned you? "Um, I really like the look of your baked goods and would like to see more of them" or at least that's how I remember it. :flowerforyou:0 -
This thread makes me wonder how many people are going to get blank FR's just because of this topic :laugh:
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This isn't real life just so everyone knows.
Many people on MFP actually meet up and hang out IRL.0 -
Yeah, it's totally cool for anyone who wants or needs to keep their profile private. I get it.
But those same people really CAN'T expect other people to accept their friend requests without some sort of a message introducing themselves and why they think they should be friends.0 -
"Hey, I was really inspired by your forum posts, can we be friends?"
"I'd love to see your journey and hopefully motivate each other."
"Your GIF was awesome, got anymore?"
"You're a meanie, and I appreciate your brutal honesty."
It doesn't even have to be something flattering (boo to all of you saying this is about narcissism). If we have a similar sense of humor or life philosophy or heck, I think I sent a FR to someone once because she was an English teacher and I liked her personality and I thought we'd get along.
It's all about, "Are we compatible?" not, "why do you think I'm awesome?"
Seriously, I'd rather hear "I think we share a sense of humor" than "I think you're inspiring." The latter is way too much pressure anyway.
How about the awkward way I propositioned you? "Um, I really like the look of your baked goods and would like to see more of them" or at least that's how I remember it. :flowerforyou:
I used to put cupcakes as my avatar, which I changed based on holiday/season. That got me alot of FR's! haha. Cause seriously... cupcakes!
Today is my husband's birthday and I have Reese's Peanut Butter Cupcakes cooling on the counter before I frost them. :happy:0 -
I only add girls who have developed an ED and are in that "sweet spot" where they aren't bulky like some of the girls who like to lift weight but also aren't so super thin that I fear they might break. Just the right amount of thin and daddy issues. Also they have to be between 18-19. I don't need old girls on my friends list.
This is kind of ****ty to say, as someone who recovered from an eating disorder. I know MFP isn't all lovey-huggy, but have a little bit of respect for the people who go through something ****ing awful every day of their life. Jesus. I can take a good joke but that just wasn't funny.0 -
Here is the disclaimer I use:
"If you would like to add me as a friend, feel free. I no longer accept FR without a short message (warning if there is no message, a fish somewhere will become frustrated. DO we really need more frustrated fish in the world?). If you do not have an avatar and your profile is blank I most likely will not accept. I ain't fraid of no ghost, but I need something to relate to."
It is meant to bring a little humor into it, but at the same time gives the reason why.
Speaking of frustrated fish:
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Hmm. Person who feels entitled to have every stranger accept their creepy, random, blank friend request.
Has closed profile preventing strangers (oh -- and anyone they send a blank friend request to -- LOL!) from seeing anything about them.
Okay.
"But I am entitled to your friendship, dammit!"0 -
I only add girls who have developed an ED and are in that "sweet spot" where they aren't bulky like some of the girls who like to lift weight but also aren't so super thin that I fear they might break. Just the right amount of thin and daddy issues. Also they have to be between 18-19. I don't need old girls on my friends list.
This is kind of ****ty to say, as someone who recovered from an eating disorder. I know MFP isn't all lovey-huggy, but have a little bit of respect for the people who go through something ****ing awful every day of their life. Jesus. I can take a good joke but that just wasn't funny.
He's not even remotely serious. Relax.0 -
This isn't real life just so everyone knows.
Many people on MFP actually meet up and hang out IRL.
We're doing that again soon, right?
Just so you all know, this chick is awesome! :drinker:0 -
I only add girls who have developed an ED and are in that "sweet spot" where they aren't bulky like some of the girls who like to lift weight but also aren't so super thin that I fear they might break. Just the right amount of thin and daddy issues. Also they have to be between 18-19. I don't need old girls on my friends list.
This is kind of ****ty to say, as someone who recovered from an eating disorder. I know MFP isn't all lovey-huggy, but have a little bit of respect for the people who go through something ****ing awful every day of their life. Jesus. I can take a good joke but that just wasn't funny.
This is a perfect example of why people should get to know each other a bit before sending a FR. Not everyone shares the same sense of humor. Also, he is actually a great guy and totally kidding. But you see my point.0 -
This isn't real life just so everyone knows.
Many people on MFP actually meet up and hang out IRL.
We're doing that again soon, right?
Just so you all know, this chick is awesome! :drinker:
Yes, we had better be doing it again soon! :happy: :drinker:0 -
I need a trip to ATL soon!This isn't real life just so everyone knows.
Many people on MFP actually meet up and hang out IRL.
We're doing that again soon, right?
Just so you all know, this chick is awesome! :drinker:
Yes, we had better be doing it again soon! :happy: :drinker:
I have a couple friends here who I met on this site. We workout together and I went to one's wedding a few months ago.
But now I think I imagined it.0 -
This isn't real life just so everyone knows.
Many people on MFP actually meet up and hang out IRL.
TRUTH! :drinker:0 -
So I've stumbled on a few profiles of people with similar body type as me or just people around my age and have added a few as a friend. I've also noticed that some people have this *****IF YOU DON'T SEND ME A MESSAGE FIRST I WILL REJECT YOUR FRIEND REQUEST***** notice at the top of their profile. If you're one of those people that only adds users who you know in real life on this site as a friend, I totally understand, but I've always noticed that people have 200+ friends, and all of them are not from the same area. It's the internet. I'm not about to show up on your f*cking door step and creep in your windows, I just wanna look at your diary and check out your snacks. Does anyone else find this a little funny? Like do I really have to explain myself to be your "friend" on a website when I'm probably never going to meet you and just comment "great job" when you have a 500 calorie burn workout and have it motivate me to get up off my butt and walk around the block?
Nobody is forcing you to send a message. I prefer a message because I don't accept friends by body type, more so, sarcasm type.0 -
I only add girls who have developed an ED and are in that "sweet spot" where they aren't bulky like some of the girls who like to lift weight but also aren't so super thin that I fear they might break. Just the right amount of thin and daddy issues. Also they have to be between 18-19. I don't need old girls on my friends list.
This is kind of ****ty to say, as someone who recovered from an eating disorder. I know MFP isn't all lovey-huggy, but have a little bit of respect for the people who go through something ****ing awful every day of their life. Jesus. I can take a good joke but that just wasn't funny.
This is a perfect example of why people should get to know each other a bit before sending a FR. Not everyone shares the same sense of humor. Also, he is actually a great guy and totally kidding. But you see my point.
I really do not know what the guy was talking about MFP not being real world. I do know that ED comment would mostly likely not be said in real life. Although he was joking on MFP right? It like that MOD who joked about Domestic violence with a disclaimer that came with it yesterday.0 -
I need a trip to ATL soon!This isn't real life just so everyone knows.
Many people on MFP actually meet up and hang out IRL.
We're doing that again soon, right?
Just so you all know, this chick is awesome! :drinker:
Yes, we had better be doing it again soon! :happy: :drinker:
I have a couple friends here who I met on this site. We workout together and I went to one's wedding a few months ago.
But now I think I imagined it.
Yes, you need to get up here!0 -
alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly
WUT?
let me translate:
".......................................................................
..........................
.............................................................................................
...................................................
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.......
......................................................!"
got it?0 -
So if I send friend requests with a message that says" I want to creep your pics" is that acceptable?0
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