Pooping at work

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  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,599 Member
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    1. always always always poop at work. You're literally getting paid to drop a deuce.
    2. if it's a multiple occupant bathroom you damn well better give everyone a courtesy flush.

    continue on.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    You forgot to include your cup size and stats...

    I'm surprised you weren't the first to respond to this thread. :tongue:
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I only poop at work. It's terribly embarrassing. But oh well, girl's gotta poop!
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
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    Meh, I don't care.

    fanartfriday.png
  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
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    My work friends and I have lots of code words for bathroom pooping at work too.

    A "poop off" is when someone is in the other stall and you're both not pooping until the other person leaves. Someone has to either poop or leave and let the other person poop in peace.
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
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    Poo-Pouri

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
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    Oh I am a pooping ninja for sure. I am in and out of there before you even realize what happened. If if not, then I hide in the stall until the coast is clear. It just sucks when someone else is doing the same or taking their sweet time. Nobody wins in a poop stand-off.
  • daydreams_of_pretty
    daydreams_of_pretty Posts: 506 Member
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    I just hate it when someone else in the bathroom is a Poop Ghost. That's when the person tries to pretend like they're not even there anytime someone else is in the bathroom. They get really quiet, don't move, and try to hold it in until you leave. The problem is that you totally know that they're there because they aren't invisible and no one can be that quiet. That means that the other person is just awkwardly trying to go about their potty business like they don't see your shoes there under the stall. Plus, sometimes you don't see the shoes and just hear a random noise that scares the poo out of you (literally?).

    What if person number two also has to go number two? What then? Does the first person continue to Poop Ghost the whole time? That is so uncomfortable. How am I supposed to go with you going all Moaning Myrtle on me in the next stall? I mean, really.
  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
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    I think you need to watch this instructional video:

    http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_toilet_humor/how_to_poop_at_work.shtml#UwG3ZLrmcb.facebook
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
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    As for me, my weird bathroom pet peeve is when someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are others open. How about if we don't do our business like 5 inches from each other?
    Seriously! This applies to urinals as well. We have 3 in our work bathroom. Common code is no one should use that middle one unless the two on the end are already taken or there is a baby on fire in the middle urinal.
  • Timorous_Beastie
    Timorous_Beastie Posts: 595 Member
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    I love the idea of pooping at work. "I'm getting PAID to POOP!"

    But I can rarely poo anywhere by my home base, unless it's an urgent, emergency situation.

    Most of my jobs had a single toilet bathroom, not a multi-stall deal, so stealth wasn't necessary.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
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    I'd prefer to do my business at home, but if I must go at work I will wait until the bathroom is empty. There are only 2 stalls, and there aren't many female office staff, so it's usually not an issue.

    There is one woman here that regularly goes at work, and she's in there for a good 20-25 minutes. She carries her iPad in, so you know she means business. And I avoid the bathroom for at least an hour after she's been in there, because it's awful. Oh, did I mention that she doesn't bathe regularly, so on top of poop smell, there's unclean lady parts smell in there too. :noway: It seriously makes me want to vomit.
  • vidoardes
    vidoardes Posts: 70 Member
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    I work in an all male office, so crapping get announced loud and proud
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
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    This is something I hate to do. I'm like a stealthy ninja when I poop at work. I'll blow my nose and close the feminine napkin tin loudly and all sort of other stuff so people wont know what I'm really up to. And I will NOT leave that stall until I know the coast is clear.

    I have one lady at work who just lets it all out loudly then walks out of the stall like a champ. She is known around the office as Barbara poo-poo.

    Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?

    If your coworkers are anything like mine they will look at your feet. We do the same thing for people that dont wash their hands. There are also those that courtesy flush every two seconds.
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
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    You office working stiffs are spoiled. How about a nice port-a-potty on a construction site, or even better the 6-seat outhouse with no dividers at all at one jobsite in Alaska (where the men are men and the women are too!). Stealth poopers have a problem. The can is the one place on earth it is OK to make those kinds of noises. My only peeve is when it is obvious someone had chili or asparagus (or worse, asparagus chili) for their last meal.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Poo-Pouri

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

    Can't watch youtube at work - but I own poo-pouri. I bought it as a gag gift one year for all my sisters.

    It really works, and strangely enough - it smells like fruit loops.
  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
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    This is something I hate to do. I'm like a stealthy ninja when I poop at work. I'll blow my nose and close the feminine napkin tin loudly and all sort of other stuff so people wont know what I'm really up to. And I will NOT leave that stall until I know the coast is clear.

    I have one lady at work who just lets it all out loudly then walks out of the stall like a champ. She is known around the office as Barbara poo-poo.

    Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?

    If your coworkers are anything like mine they will look at your feet. We do the same thing for people that dont wash their hands. There are also those that courtesy flush every two seconds.

    I hide my feet too.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 909 Member
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    I do all my pooping at work because ....FREE TP!!
  • SuperVixen2B
    SuperVixen2B Posts: 218 Member
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    I just hate it when someone else in the bathroom is a Poop Ghost. That's when the person tries to pretend like they're not even there anytime someone else is in the bathroom. They get really quiet, don't move, and try to hold it in until you leave. The problem is that you totally know that they're there because they aren't invisible and no one can be that quiet. That means that the other person is just awkwardly trying to go about their potty business like they don't see your shoes there under the stall. Plus, sometimes you don't see the shoes and just hear a random noise that scares the poo out of you (literally?).

    What if person number two also has to go number two? What then? Does the first person continue to Poop Ghost the whole time? That is so uncomfortable. How am I supposed to go with you going all Moaning Myrtle on me in the next stall? I mean, really.

    Poop Ghost has dibs. If you have to pee, make it snappy, wash your hands and GTFO. If you've got to go #2, give up, GTFO and give 'em 30 before trying again. If it can't wait...break the ice.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,731 Member
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    Getting paid to drop a deuce? I try every damn day.

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