Why is MFP so mean??
Replies
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We have bullies...
Can I get a bingo card.
For the record, this is a tame....tame forum.
For those that think this place is mean, please avoid forums with the following topics:
Video Games
Sports
Religion
Parenting
Politics0 -
I am where I am because of some "mean" people (most of whom have now either been banned or have deactivated). It was those mean people that actually caused me to think about what I thought I know and research actual fitness and nutrition facts...turns out most of what I thought I know was for the most part nonsense...I'm in a much better place now and far more educated.
Did is sting a little when drmerc told me to stop spouting off blatantly false information on the forums and that maybe I should do a little research before handing out advice? Sure...but guess what...I started doing research and low and behold, the sugar in fruit is just sugar...it's not magical non-sugar that doesn't count.
Cheers...
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We have bullies...
Can I get a bingo card.
For the record, this is a tame....tame forum.
For those that think this place is mean, please avoid forums with the following topics:
Video Games
Sports
Religion
Parenting
Politics
What is this MFP bingo that I keep hearing about?!0 -
Dave Grohl0
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This isn't a mean people thread. Curious, did you read the OP?
Yes I did and all the responses. Perhaps I am in error but what I read was a lot of justification for unkind responses on the boards. It is possible to express an alternate opinion in a way that can be heard. Putting people on the defensive is a great way to make it hard for them to hear you.0 -
I am where I am because of some "mean" people (most of whom have now either been banned or have deactivated). It was those mean people that actually caused me to think about what I thought I know and research actual fitness and nutrition facts...turns out most of what I thought I know was for the most part nonsense...I'm in a much better place now and far more educated.
Did is sting a little when drmerc told me to stop spouting off blatantly false information on the forums and that maybe I should do a little research before handing out advice? Sure...but guess what...I started doing research and low and behold, the sugar in fruit is just sugar...it's not magical non-sugar that doesn't count.
This X 100^^^ at 53 and fighting with my yoyoing weight practically all of that time - I have learned more about how my body works and how it could work from these threads in the last nine months than the previous 50+ years.0 -
Dave Grohl
Yes, he rocks.0 -
We have bullies...
Can I get a bingo card.
For the record, this is a tame....tame forum.
For those that think this place is mean, please avoid forums with the following topics:
Video Games
Sports
Religion
Parenting
Politics
On the flip side, gardening forums (my only other experience with forums) are almost always civil and friendly.0 -
The anonymity of the internet makes it easy for condescending, self-righteous trolls to express their self loathing by ridiculing others with snark and derision. Just watch how they respond to this post.
Again did you read the OP? It's not a mean people thread.
I was going to quote him and jokingly/angrily ask him how dare he posts in this thread unknowingly with his stupid Bob Ross ticker and happy trees. But then he changed his post.... smart.0 -
I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.
Look back over these six pages. No one is offering invalid diet information. No one is saying sugar is the devil. I have been told my argument is invalid, and I have not presented an argument. I have seen several other posters point out that abusing people does not help them with their diets it just runs them away. The response has been ridicule. So far several reasons have been given for attacking people, and on this thread, not one of these reasons (which aren't really justifications anyway) have been present.
This sort of thing..."How do you survive in the real world"
Hostility is not humor. It's aggression. :flowerforyou:0 -
Sometimes you get sick of saying the same things over and over, but you keep responding because you want to save people wasted time and energy. But I have seen some things that just don't make sense. I know there was one thread where a girl was looking for people who also wanted to stay away from excess sugar from candy and cookies, and people slammed her for not wanting to eat sugar, even though she had stated over and over again that she was not avoiding all sugar because she still ate fruits. I didn't understand why people were coming so hard for her in that thread.
Now the thread about the girl talking about how sugar is evil, well she was misguided and could be taking others down that road with her. So someone needed to correct her. I have no issue with people correcting misinformation.0 -
I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.
Look back over these six pages. No one is offering invalid diet information. No one is saying sugar is the devil. I have been told my argument is invalid, and I have not presented an argument. I have seen several other posters point out that abusing people does not help them with their diets it just runs them away. The response has been ridicule. So far several reasons have been given for attacking people, and on this thread, not one of these reasons (which aren't really justifications anyway) have been present.
This sort of thing..."How do you survive in the real world"
Hostility is not humor. It's aggression. :flowerforyou:
Again, it all goes to peoples perceptions. Different people have different perceptions of what/how things are said.0 -
I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.
i realise you were not talking to me but i can give you an example. i got attacked simply for saying that i live on a vegan diet and, when asked why, stated my reasons. i was called ridiculous, unhealthy, plain wrong, delusional, or a "special snowflake", etc.. just because people did not agree.
i dont tell anyone to stop eating meat, wouldnt dream of judging someone for not being vegan, but people have no problem attacking me just because i believe in something different than them. there isn't one correct way to eat, there are many ways that work and the majority is not right by default, as weve learned from history.
anyways, my point is that people couldve just disagreed without calling me names.
i think thats the kind of "mean" people are talking about, not being blunt and direct.0 -
I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.
Look back over these six pages. No one is offering invalid diet information. No one is saying sugar is the devil. I have been told my argument is invalid, and I have not presented an argument. I have seen several other posters point out that abusing people does not help them with their diets it just runs them away. The response has been ridicule. So far several reasons have been given for attacking people, and on this thread, not one of these reasons (which aren't really justifications anyway) have been present.
This sort of thing..."How do you survive in the real world"
Hostility is not humor. It's aggression. :flowerforyou:
What one sees as hostility another sees as humor. Everyone views things differently, everything is in the eye of the beholder.0 -
I'm a 'newbie' having been on for about 2 weeks. In all honesty, in my reading of the forums and postings, I've only read 1 post that I thought was mean...someone replied to a post by a newbie, "you're gonna die." That was mean. Otherwise I take them as just honest straight forward responses. Another opinion of mine (got lots of them) is that the best way to teach is with honest straight forward answers. I am a nurse and my nursing instructors were very straight forward (Thank goodness). I wouldn't want to find out my nurse, doctor, dentist, lawyer, fireman, policeman, our military (etc, etc, etc) had all there training handed to them with no self motivation to hear, learn, and apply the information. My opinion. And, very entertaining thread.
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I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.
i realise you were not talking to me but i can give you an example. i got attacked simply for saying that i live on a vegan diet and, when asked why, stated my reasons. i was called ridiculous, unhealthy, plain wrong, delusional, or a "special snowflake", etc.. just because people did not agree.
i dont tell anyone to stop eating meat, wouldnt dream of judging someone for not being vegan, but people have no problem attacking me just because i believe in something different than them. there isn't one correct way to eat, there are many ways that work and the majority is not right by default, as weve learned from history.
anyways, my point is that people couldve just disagreed without calling me names.
i think thats the kind of "mean" people are talking about, not being blunt and direct.
No, that is not the type of mean people we are talking about. There is nothing wrong with people choosing to go vegan for whatever personal reason. That is, as long as you are not pushing that lifestyle on someone else for a totally different reason, say weight loss.
We are talking about the direct and blunt responses where OPs get all butthurt because it is not the response they were expecting. I thought I made that clear in my original post.
Sorry people were being a**holes about you being vegan. That is not cool.0 -
Yes all these mean horrible people, that take time out of their day to answer questions and share their knowledge with you. They look over your diary, give suggestions which more often than not is turned down by the person asking for advice. They write topics sharing more information, to make it easier for people just starting. Omg they are so mean how dare they.
So maybe you don't like the delivery from everyone, there's lots of people here, some sugar coat more than others. But stop whining and realize these people don't have to try and help at all. They aren't getting paid, they get nothing out of it, except for hoping that just maybe some one will read what they write and not fall for yet another diet myth.
If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.0 -
I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.
Look back over these six pages. No one is offering invalid diet information. No one is saying sugar is the devil. I have been told my argument is invalid, and I have not presented an argument. I have seen several other posters point out that abusing people does not help them with their diets it just runs them away. The response has been ridicule. So far several reasons have been given for attacking people, and on this thread, not one of these reasons (which aren't really justifications anyway) have been present.
This sort of thing..."How do you survive in the real world"
Hostility is not humor. It's aggression. :flowerforyou:
Again, it all goes to peoples perceptions. Different people have different perceptions of what/how things are said.
Totally this. If you stick around for a while you will learn the personalities and understand the delivery a little better. Most of the time, it's just how someone communicates. I've been here for a while, I've had disagreements with people and I don't feel that I have ever been abused or bullied in any way. Challenged, maybe. But certainly not abused.
And I can count on one hand the times I saw where people were deliberately and personally mean to a specific person (not and idea, a person) and in those cases it either started with the OP getting frustrated and nasty OR the person is saying some really terrible/scary/disgusting things that are blatantly offensive to whole groups (ex. blatant racism or sexism).0 -
I think this is a HUGE factor.If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.
"I've only been here like 3 weeks, but ya'll are just SO mean!"
Nope.0 -
I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.
i realise you were not talking to me but i can give you an example. i got attacked simply for saying that i live on a vegan diet and, when asked why, stated my reasons. i was called ridiculous, unhealthy, plain wrong, delusional, or a "special snowflake", etc.. just because people did not agree.
i dont tell anyone to stop eating meat, wouldnt dream of judging someone for not being vegan, but people have no problem attacking me just because i believe in something different than them. there isn't one correct way to eat, there are many ways that work and the majority is not right by default, as weve learned from history.
anyways, my point is that people couldve just disagreed without calling me names.
i think thats the kind of "mean" people are talking about, not being blunt and direct.
I'd have to see thread.
If they are just posting an opinion about veganism, that's not being mean.
If you are promoting veganism as a weight loss program, you might get the "special snowflake" commentary. That's not being mean so much as saying your body is, fundamentally, no different than anyone else's.
But, if you aren't touting or promoting veganism as THE way to lose weight, no one should be telling you how to eat.0 -
We are talking about the direct and blunt responses where OPs get all butthurt because it is not the response they were expecting. I thought I made that clear in my original post.
i guess we define "mean people" differently.
you did make it clear in your post, its just that often people claim to just be direct and blunt while actually crossing the line, so i was not sure what kind of mean we are really talking about.
edit: i now realise that the people disagreeing with each other here probably are not talking about the same kind of replies :laugh:0 -
Yes all these mean horrible people, that take time out of their day to answer questions and share their knowledge with you. They look over your diary, give suggestions which more often than not is turned down by the person asking for advice. They write topics sharing more information, to make it easier for people just starting. Omg they are so mean how dare they.
So maybe you don't like the delivery from everyone, there's lots of people here, some sugar coat more than others. But stop whining and realize these people don't have to try and help at all. They aren't getting paid, they get nothing out of it, except for hoping that just maybe some one will read what they write and not fall for yet another diet myth.
If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.
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I think this is a HUGE factor.If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.
"I've only been here like 3 weeks, but ya'll are just SO mean!"
Nope.
I agree! Almost every "mean people" thread I've seen starts out with "I've only been here for..." and it's followed by 50 people saying "stick around and pay attention to these "mean" people, they helped me!"0 -
I'm very excited that I was not drinking when I read this as my monitor would be dripping. Although, in my opinion, chaotic evil is rarely truly played well in a group setting. Which is why it's so great on the forums...Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?
Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.
Perhaps. But some posts are just mean. Honest, straight-forward, right or wrong, is there ever a reason not to be nice?
Nice is overrated.
Yup. And some of us are clearly chaotic evil0 -
I'm a 'newbie' having been on for about 2 weeks. In all honesty, in my reading of the forums and postings, I've only read 1 post that I thought was mean...someone replied to a post by a newbie, "you're gonna die." That was mean. Otherwise I take them as just honest straight forward responses. Another opinion of mine (got lots of them) is that the best way to teach is with honest straight forward answers. I am a nurse and my nursing instructors were very straight forward (Thank goodness). I wouldn't want to find out my nurse, doctor, dentist, lawyer, fireman, policeman, our military (etc, etc, etc) had all there training handed to them with no self motivation to hear, learn, and apply the information. My opinion. And, very entertaining thread.
And with that, you just missed the sarcasm....that's all. Easily missed on line.0 -
Yes all these mean horrible people, that take time out of their day to answer questions and share their knowledge with you. They look over your diary, give suggestions which more often than not is turned down by the person asking for advice. They write topics sharing more information, to make it easier for people just starting. Omg they are so mean how dare they.
So maybe you don't like the delivery from everyone, there's lots of people here, some sugar coat more than others. But stop whining and realize these people don't have to try and help at all. They aren't getting paid, they get nothing out of it, except for hoping that just maybe some one will read what they write and not fall for yet another diet myth.
If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.
The point I am trying to make, and has been made by several others, quietly, patiently, is
Why oh Why would we hang around for this? I come here for support and information about weight loss, and to share some of my data gleaned from my experience as a scientist, and mother. I have lost weight several times, and I have a health condition that makes it very hard to live, frankly. I do not have time for your delivery, sarcasm or "humor." Perhaps you could develop a "mean people badge", so I could just skip your posts, and get on with my day.
To the lady who wants examples: " But stop whining and realize these people don't have to try and help at all. "
I have a no whine policy at my house. I also have a no *kitten* policy. Bon Soir Mes Ami0 -
Yes all these mean horrible people, that take time out of their day to answer questions and share their knowledge with you. They look over your diary, give suggestions which more often than not is turned down by the person asking for advice. They write topics sharing more information, to make it easier for people just starting. Omg they are so mean how dare they.
So maybe you don't like the delivery from everyone, there's lots of people here, some sugar coat more than others. But stop whining and realize these people don't have to try and help at all. They aren't getting paid, they get nothing out of it, except for hoping that just maybe some one will read what they write and not fall for yet another diet myth.
If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.
0 -
I'm a 'newbie' having been on for about 2 weeks. In all honesty, in my reading of the forums and postings, I've only read 1 post that I thought was mean...someone replied to a post by a newbie, "you're gonna die." That was mean. Otherwise I take them as just honest straight forward responses. Another opinion of mine (got lots of them) is that the best way to teach is with honest straight forward answers. I am a nurse and my nursing instructors were very straight forward (Thank goodness). I wouldn't want to find out my nurse, doctor, dentist, lawyer, fireman, policeman, our military (etc, etc, etc) had all there training handed to them with no self motivation to hear, learn, and apply the information. My opinion. And, very entertaining thread.
And with that, you just missed the sarcasm....that's all. Easily missed on line.
plus, the person saying the OP would die... well, they were correct. technically.0 -
Mean: "Bones are for dogs........" "That body shape is gross...." "VS models look like stick figures......." "Women who lift are too bulky and look like men......" Usually voiced by newbies. Usually called out by people who've been here a while.
Not mean: "Do you have any research to back that up?" "Diet Coke isn't going to kill you...." "Your liver and kidneys do all the cleansing your body needs......" "Do you weigh and measure your food? You're eating more than you think....." "OP, stop spreading the sugar is evil pseudoscience......" "You do not have a slow metabolism...." Usually voiced by people who have been here a long time and done some research. Usually argued against by people who like to hold onto false beliefs, also usually newbies.
Guess which groups generate the greatest number of "Mean People" spinoff threads? It's kind of ironic when you think about it.0
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