650 pounds... Rambling introduction

I wanted to take a few more moments of your time to respond to the outpouring of support I've received since I introduced myself to the MFP community. It's humbling to read post after post, page after page of kind words and support from people who've never met me. We come to MFP often in pain and fear. Something has changed in us that forces us to recognize that the steps we need to take to live better, healthier lives must be faced honestly. This honesty can be brutal. But as we hold the mirror up to ourselves, as we look at our reflections and contemplate we're we have gone wrong, what we have done wrong, we can temper that brutality with compassion and support.

Yesterday, you as a community opened your arms and welcomed me. 10 friends, 50 friends, 100 friends, 200 friends.... It was breathtaking the response I received. The personal notes of support were touching and much appreciated. Notes of encouragement, suggestions for books, websites.... New friends offering to stand with me as I journey towards a new life. A better life. A life worth living. A life my sister would be proud of.

New friends that I'd just met today, opening their hearts and investing their time to look at my food diary. Offering to purchase pedometers or FitBit to help me become a fitter person as I shed the weight. Who does that? I think that if there is one positive part about being overweight, it is this shared understanding of what it being overweight means. The pain, bullying, fears, despair are we have all endured are shared, and because all of us have these shared experience maybe it makes it easier to reach out.

Surprisingly, I received emails from so many members that had shared some of the more horrific aspects of my story. Some of it was beautiful... A mother friended me, then contacted me asking if she could please have her son friend me and talk to me. A young man that had been molested and was dealing with the painful ramifications of his abuse. Another young man that has been too shy to post his story or his weight. It's humbling to think my post, that I almost didn't share, could touch people. It leaves me with a feeling of responsibility. It was my complete honor to be trusted with so many peoples lives. Their secrets and fears. I don't know why you thought I was worthy, you've only just met me, but believe me my new friends, whatever your story, embrace our commonalities and goals. We all want the same thing, right?

There was only one negative issue that I'd like to touch on before I close. As I read posts and emails, I would occasional come across this strange theme that a person's accomplishments or life experience was negligible compared to me. That somehow losing 100 pounds was more valid then losing 2, that my pain somehow trivialized their lives or accomplishments. And I don't understand that. Everything we do to reach our goals is work. My work may take longer, but it is in no way better or harder then anyone else. Your accomplishments matter. Your pain and sweat matter. It doesn't matter how long or how hard we work does it? It just matters that we work. And you should be proud of every inch you've lost, every pound you've lost, and never belittle or trivialize it again. Your work is too damn important to be dismissed. And I'm really going to be hurt if you can't be as proud and supportive of yourself as you have been of me...

Thank you for your welcome. I'm honored.

All of this may be the reasons behind why I eat, but the bottom line is, I did this to myself. No one forced me to eat, no one forced me to not stay on a diet, no one forced me not to get exercize. I was a 650 pound sick man, who really only had himself to blame. And even sick, I still had my blinders on.