sabotagers... are real

Oh my goodness, I didn't really believe that people who care about you really did this... but diet sabotagers are actually out there.
I spent the day with a friend who doesn't usually eat much (if at all), I divulged to her I was on a serious mission to regain my former healthy weight... she spent the whole day trying to feed me junk food, unbelievable! The person who will sit in a restaurant and eat nothing was suddenly in and out of shops eating cr@p... she even ate two ice creams, all the while trying to persuade me to do the same. At one point she was begging me to eat rum and raisin, making me look at all the lovely flavours and willing me to break!
What is that all about??

if you told her you were on a serious mission to regain your former weight, then she was trying to help you because "regain my former weight" means get heavier.... i.e. she thought you considered yourself to be underweight and to need to gain weight to get healthy....

Is there some difference in British and American English or something that changes the meaning of the bolded text? Because I really think if that's what the OP said, that her friend may have thought that she *wanted* to gain weight, and that her actions were trying to help.... it's an ambiguous sentence that could be interpreted both ways.

OP: have you even asked your friend about this, i.e. found out what she thought you meant? You could be throwing away a perfectly good friendship over a miscommunication. You're attributing some pretty bad motives to her behaviour, when there could be a much simpler explanation, i.e. she thought you wanted to gain weight. Usually it's best to talk to people rather than ranting about them online. If I was that friend, I would have thought from the words you used above that you wanted to gain weight, and then if you'd not meant that and interpreted my attempts to help you gain weight as sabotage and then ranted about me on the internet rather than talking to me, I'd be extremely hurt, angry and upset. Seriously, talk to her, find out what she thought you meant, if it was a miscommunication then you can both laugh about it and still be friends. Otherwise you're at risk of losing a good friend over a simple miscommunication....

Oh I seriously assumed you were joking and was gonna make a "nice one!" Post. You really think a bigger gal meant she wanted to get fatter when she said "I'd like to regain my former shape"? Is this some health at every size alternate universe or something?

The OP doesn't actually look fat in her picture. You look at her profile picture and tell me if you think she looks fat? I don't think she does. I certainly wouldn't describe her as a "bigger gal".... maybe it's an old picture up for motivation, or maybe it's current, I don't know. But there are plenty of people on here who just want to lose 5-10 lb or even 20lb who don't look fat at all.

Sorry you find my efforts to possibly save a friendship to be so amusing........ suppose, just suppose, that the OP really does look like she does in her picture (i.e. not fat) and that what she said to her friend was just as ambiguous as what she typed, and that the friend really did misunderstand her and think she wanted to gain weight....... none of that is far fetched, but it seems everyone just wants to jump on the shame the "sabotager" (sic) witch hunt bandwagon rather than consider the possibility that the whole thing may have been a misunderstanding.

You don't think it's a good idea that the OP just talks to her friend to find out what she thought she was doing? You know, just to be sure that it wasn't all a big misunderstanding, before carrying on ranting about how horrible she is on the internet and ending the friendship?

Her ticker says she wants to lose 43 lbs. assuming her friend has known her for any length of time, 60 or 70 lbs overweight is likely to not be her "former healthy weight". I don't have a pitch fork. I just thought you were joking, and ultimately found your stance and incredulity at what to you perhaps just had to be a difference between American and British communication to be a tad ludicrous.

But hey, if she used to weigh 90 lbs at her "healthy weight" and is 5'10", perhaps getting back to 150 could be her healthy weight after all!! Amazing

I didn't look at her ticker, I just looked at her picture (not fat). I posted what I did because I thought there's a chance the whole thing could have been a misunderstanding and that this should be considered before concluding that the friend was deliberately sabotaging her.

I would take "I want to regain my former weight" as wanting to gain weight or at least as a sentence I'd question someone about to find out what they really meant... I wouldn't use "regain" in that context (I'm British) - I'd say "I want to get back to my former weight" so "regain my former weight" sounds weird and ambiguous to me, and sounds even more weird being used to mean getting back to a former weight that's lighter than your current weight.

I believe that if there is a possibility that any dispute between friends was a perfectly innocent misunderstanding - even when that's the less likely of two possible explanations - talking about it is a vital step. Then at least you know where everyone stands, and if it wasn't a misunderstanding you can take it from there... but if it was a misunderstanding then talking about it and clearing up the misunderstanding saves the friendship.

What is that all about??

Ok I was venting. She is a lovely friend. I have moved on, maybe everyone else can too.

Here's hoping she wanders by MFP and sees this thread.

Every single time. She would do this kind of stuff, like putting snacks in my face when I would go to her home. specifically for me. I am an inpulse eater and I cannot be around food like that.

I think that friends and family aren't ready to handle us changing. My husband does most of the cooking and shopping and during the first two weeks in September he made fancy cheeseburgers and other delicious food with tons of fat. He also bought a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips which I tend to eat the whole bag when they are in the house. It wasn't until I took a smaller portion at dinner and got up and made a salad a few weeks in a row that he got the hint. Then he made zucchini lasagna one night and he found out that it was delicious. The next day I made a point to thank him for finding healthy alternatives and how much I appreciated his support. I think that was when he took ownership of his role in my weight loss and now feels part of it instead of an outsider seeing his best friend change. Be strong in your steadfastness and be kind to your friend. You have to guide her as to what support you need.