MFP has really changed

god she's orange.....

it's almost mesmerizing...

Hear, hear, OP!!

I am relatively new to the site, but I have not encountered such uncivility since Jr. High School. So many seem to revel in being called mean. They defend their right to be mean and claim they are just "helping" or they were driven to it lesser minds.

I have also noticed Jr. High type "cliques". One person will post something snarky or rude and suddenly a bunch of others start in. Often the same group. I assume these are from their 'friends' list. Because if a group is rude, then it's not really rude, right?

It's so juvenile and silly.

I guess I will have to say this again... this place is unicorns and rainbow glitter compared to the likes of Babycenter, the Knot, and Sodahead... among many others, those are just the places I have been myself... so please... join another forum and then comeback and see how uncivil this place is... Hell, there was a time where even NEOPETS was worse than this place has ever been... yes, a game website.

I am a member of three other forums (all organic farming sites). They are nothng like this. People disagree, sometimes it gets a little heated, but I've never encountered anything like this. I suppose there are moderators on those sites, though I've never known one to have to step in.

I'm not familiar with the sites you mention, but are they geared toward juveniles? .

You've clearly never ventured into the viper pit that is pregnancy or "mommy" forums. Organic farming forums aren't going to be a good indicator, because I'll hazard a guess that--while disagreements may occur--you're too similar in general things.

Venture onto forums or discussion boards with broader subjects, like MFP, and you'll find much worse. News sites are a stunning example.

Why would I do that, when I've just indicated I thought this site was too often uncivil?

I just wanted to add that I think it makes sense to listen to the people who have successfully lost weight or gained muscle and have then maintained it over the people who keep restarting or fluctuating. One group is successful, while the other group is in progress.

Sure, the in progress group can have awesome advice and should certainly contribute to the discussion. I certainly do. However, it doesn't make sense to view those who are successful as snobby for thinking that they are more knowledgeable on topics related to fitness and weight loss. They are more knowledgeable. That's why they're successful.

Sometimes the successful peeps can be a little blunt because they're giving the same piece of advice for the 10 billionth time, but where would we be without them? Part of the reason I've lost the weight I have is that I learned so much from these people while I was still lurking on the treads, even if I didn't agree with them at first (example - I totally started with 1200 calories). Guess what? They were right. I'm also lifting heavier weights even though I previously thought that a 5lb dumbbell was "heavy" and totally a great workout. Turns out I really can use heavier weights (still increasing!).

I really don't think that most people are being mean. I just think that a lot of people are used to having people tell them what they want to hear. It's like asking how you look in a particular outfit and then being angry at the person for telling you that you look fat. Don't ask if you don't want an honest answer. Trust me, someone else will ask your question. And then again. And again. And again. :flowerforyou:

Smart reply. Thanks for that.

On the other hand I've actually seen people say, "Long time users who have found success maybe need to stop posting all their advice so us new people can share what we know."

I read that and my nose just started bleeding.

Hear, hear, OP!!

I am relatively new to the site, but I have not encountered such uncivility since Jr. High School. So many seem to revel in being called mean. They defend their right to be mean and claim they are just "helping" or they were driven to it lesser minds.

I have also noticed Jr. High type "cliques". One person will post something snarky or rude and suddenly a bunch of others start in. Often the same group. I assume these are from their 'friends' list. Because if a group is rude, then it's not really rude, right?

It's so juvenile and silly.

I guess I will have to say this again... this place is unicorns and rainbow glitter compared to the likes of Babycenter, the Knot, and Sodahead... among many others, those are just the places I have been myself... so please... join another forum and then comeback and see how uncivil this place is... Hell, there was a time where even NEOPETS was worse than this place has ever been... yes, a game website.

I am a member of three other forums (all organic farming sites). They are nothng like this. People disagree, sometimes it gets a little heated, but I've never encountered anything like this. I suppose there are moderators on those sites, though I've never known one to have to step in.

I'm not familiar with the sites you mention, but are they geared toward juveniles? .

Don't you think it's kind of mean to be calling people juveniles? Why is it ok for you to throw out insults no no one else?

Who am I insulting?

You called us all juvenile and silly. You actually make it a point to come into every mean people thread and do so.

"Us all"? I suppose if you saw a shoe that fits, then you might interpret it that way. But I singled no one out. I made a general statement about the forums in general. I agree with the OP.

Well I assumed you were referring to the people responding in the cleaning thread. I've asked for specific examples, which you have yet to provide, so I assume you mean everyone.

And, no, the shoe absolutely does not fit. I don't have a mean bone in my body unless provoked. I do love Gifs though because....funny. I have a big funny bone.

You assume incorrectly.

Well then why don't we all be adults here.

If people are going to post about these "mean people" then call them out specifically and let's discuss. Perhaps it's a matter of not understanding where one people is coming from.

You either want the problem or the solution in life. Solutions never happen in generalities.

This forum isn't life and I was not seeking a solution. I don't recall the usernames of those who have been rude in the forums nor would I mention them if I did. I'm not out to try and shame anyone or deal with ridicule from those who feel no shame in being rude.

I was simply agreeing with the OP.

So, let me get this straight.

This forum isn't life, yet you feel so strongly about these mean people that you come into all these threads to call them silly, juvenile and then some. Check.

You don't recall the usernames of those who have been rude but, yet again, you are fired up enough to come here and call them silly and juvenile. Check. Check.

You are not here to shame anyone, yet you come here to call people silly and juvenile and declare "people" rude. Check check check.

When called out on it, you put it back on the OP instead of accepting responsibility for your own posts.

I think I got it now. You just want to complain and call people names without getting to the root of the issue. Can't say I'm surprised - thank you for proving my point.

ETA: I also like to whine about problems without seeking solutions. It's so productive.

You couldn't have worded it any better than that! Good for you for this forum! Just yesterday I posted on here, and people were doing the same thing to me. Not all, but some. It makes it really discouraging, doesn't it?! I have recently rejoined MFP and I need support and encouragement, not the opposite. The way I see it, is were all in this together.
Best of luck to you lovely, and again that's super awesome of you to voice your opinion!
:flowerforyou:

Why focus on the bad, if there was some good in there, too? This part is what I can't wrap my head around. At all.

Hear, hear, OP!!

I am relatively new to the site, but I have not encountered such uncivility since Jr. High School. So many seem to revel in being called mean. They defend their right to be mean and claim they are just "helping" or they were driven to it lesser minds.

I have also noticed Jr. High type "cliques". One person will post something snarky or rude and suddenly a bunch of others start in. Often the same group. I assume these are from their 'friends' list. Because if a group is rude, then it's not really rude, right?

It's so juvenile and silly.

I guess I will have to say this again... this place is unicorns and rainbow glitter compared to the likes of Babycenter, the Knot, and Sodahead... among many others, those are just the places I have been myself... so please... join another forum and then comeback and see how uncivil this place is... Hell, there was a time where even NEOPETS was worse than this place has ever been... yes, a game website.

I am a member of three other forums (all organic farming sites). They are nothng like this. People disagree, sometimes it gets a little heated, but I've never encountered anything like this. I suppose there are moderators on those sites, though I've never known one to have to step in.

I'm not familiar with the sites you mention, but are they geared toward juveniles? .

Don't you think it's kind of mean to be calling people juveniles? Why is it ok for you to throw out insults no no one else?

Who am I insulting?

You called us all juvenile and silly. You actually make it a point to come into every mean people thread and do so.

"Us all"? I suppose if you saw a shoe that fits, then you might interpret it that way. But I singled no one out. I made a general statement about the forums in general. I agree with the OP.

Well I assumed you were referring to the people responding in the cleaning thread. I've asked for specific examples, which you have yet to provide, so I assume you mean everyone.

And, no, the shoe absolutely does not fit. I don't have a mean bone in my body unless provoked. I do love Gifs though because....funny. I have a big funny bone.

You assume incorrectly.

Well then why don't we all be adults here.

If people are going to post about these "mean people" then call them out specifically and let's discuss. Perhaps it's a matter of not understanding where one people is coming from.

You either want the problem or the solution in life. Solutions never happen in generalities.

This forum isn't life and I was not seeking a solution. I don't recall the usernames of those who have been rude in the forums nor would I mention them if I did. I'm not out to try and shame anyone or deal with ridicule from those who feel no shame in being rude.

I was simply agreeing with the OP.

So, let me get this straight.

This forum isn't life, yet you feel so strongly about these mean people that you come into all these threads to call them silly, juvenile and then some. Check.

You don't recall the usernames of those who have been rude but, yet again, you are fired up enough to come here and call them silly and juvenile. Check. Check.

You are not here to shame anyone, yet you come here to call people silly and juvenile and declare "people" rude. Check check check.

When called out on it, you put it back on the OP instead of accepting responsibility for your own posts.

I think I got it now. You just want to complain and call people names without getting to the root of the issue. Can't say I'm surprised - thank you for proving my point.

ETA: I also like to whine about problems without seeking solutions. It's so productive.

Hear, hear, OP!!

I am relatively new to the site, but I have not encountered such uncivility since Jr. High School. So many seem to revel in being called mean. They defend their right to be mean and claim they are just "helping" or they were driven to it lesser minds.

I have also noticed Jr. High type "cliques". One person will post something snarky or rude and suddenly a bunch of others start in. Often the same group. I assume these are from their 'friends' list. Because if a group is rude, then it's not really rude, right?

It's so juvenile and silly.

I guess I will have to say this again... this place is unicorns and rainbow glitter compared to the likes of Babycenter, the Knot, and Sodahead... among many others, those are just the places I have been myself... so please... join another forum and then comeback and see how uncivil this place is... Hell, there was a time where even NEOPETS was worse than this place has ever been... yes, a game website.

I am a member of three other forums (all organic farming sites). They are nothng like this. People disagree, sometimes it gets a little heated, but I've never encountered anything like this. I suppose there are moderators on those sites, though I've never known one to have to step in.

I'm not familiar with the sites you mention, but are they geared toward juveniles? .

Don't you think it's kind of mean to be calling people juveniles? Why is it ok for you to throw out insults no no one else?

Who am I insulting?

You called us all juvenile and silly. You actually make it a point to come into every mean people thread and do so.

"Us all"? I suppose if you saw a shoe that fits, then you might interpret it that way. But I singled no one out. I made a general statement about the forums in general. I agree with the OP.

Well I assumed you were referring to the people responding in the cleaning thread. I've asked for specific examples, which you have yet to provide, so I assume you mean everyone.

And, no, the shoe absolutely does not fit. I don't have a mean bone in my body unless provoked. I do love Gifs though because....funny. I have a big funny bone.

You assume incorrectly.

Well then why don't we all be adults here.

If people are going to post about these "mean people" then call them out specifically and let's discuss. Perhaps it's a matter of not understanding where one people is coming from.

You either want the problem or the solution in life. Solutions never happen in generalities.

This forum isn't life and I was not seeking a solution. I don't recall the usernames of those who have been rude in the forums nor would I mention them if I did. I'm not out to try and shame anyone or deal with ridicule from those who feel no shame in being rude.

I was simply agreeing with the OP.

So, let me get this straight.

This forum isn't life, yet you feel so strongly about these mean people that you come into all these threads to call them silly, juvenile and then some. Check.

You don't recall the usernames of those who have been rude but, yet again, you are fired up enough to come here and call them silly and juvenile. Check. Check.

You are not here to shame anyone, yet you come here to call people silly and juvenile and declare "people" rude. Check check check.

When called out on it, you put it back on the OP instead of accepting responsibility for your own posts.

I think I got it now. You just want to complain and call people names without getting to the root of the issue. Can't say I'm surprised - thank you for proving my point.

ETA: I also like to whine about problems without seeking solutions. It's so productive.

Little of what you said was my intent, but you have an interesting perspective that I had not considered. I think the forums have too much rudeness and juvenile comments. It seemed such a simple and clear statement to me.

Can we all stop moaning and complaining and just enjoy some cat gifs?