Affair after Weight Loss
Options
Replies
-
If you're not happy in a relationship, leave. There's no excuse for cheating. If you aren't attracted to your partner, discuss it with them. Hell, even discuss the idea of an open relationship. But to cheat simply means that you don't care enough about hurting your partner. I get there's temptations. We've all been there. But if you had respect for your partner and you actually cared a lot for them, you'd be honest with them.
^This!0 -
I can honestly say that this is one of the reasons I had not attempted to lose the weight until now- as bad as that might sound. Not because I was afraid I would cheat on my husband, but because I honestly thought I would not be wiling to take his **** anymore. We have three children together so our split involves more than just me and him and yes I know children are not a good enough reason to stay together. Not after losing weight but before he gained any weight, my husband "tried" to cheat on me for the first 5-7 yrs of our relationship and by tried I mean to this day he still insists he has never gone through with it but there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary including me finding a used condom in our car, my best friend telling me through some probing that he had "tried" to cheat with her, girls at my work after I no longer worked there telling me he was contacting them, finding txt messages on his phone to one of his old friends that he cant "wait to see her" when he was supposed to be going camping with his cousin. He lied about all of this and tried to hide it from me. I found out about all of it, split with him, got back together.
The sad part is that I eventually got to where I wasn't willing to take his **** anymore anyway without losing the weight and not being willing to take his **** is what has motivated me the most to now lose the weight. I don't judge people because a few years ago I too had an affair on my husband after years of him mistreating me, I had had enough and was already checked out of the relationship- I didn't hide it from him or lie to him about it and ironically enough he was ok with it because he knew all of the **** he had put me through- his words not mine.
This thought still crosses my mind while losing the weight from time to time-- I am not so much thinking I will divorce my husband (yes I am still with him, don't judge me) but because I am not sure if it will make our relationship better or dissolve it completely. We have been together for 14 years, and have three beautiful children who love both of us dearly so it still crosses my mind.
When I started to lose the weight I was at a place where in my mind the marriage had already ended and I was just taking care of me and could care less what he did or what happened to him........ I love him very much but his "issues" are a bit too much for me
so that's my long response to this post but it kinda strikes a chord with me because yes I know its a possibility and happens more often than it should- which is never- I don't condone cheating even though I myself have done it- it hurts all involved0 -
I can honestly say that this is one of the reasons I had not attempted to lose the weight until now- as bad as that might sound. Not because I was afraid I would cheat on my husband, but because I honestly thought I would not be wiling to take his **** anymore. We have three children together so our split involves more than just me and him and yes I know children are not a good enough reason to stay together. Not after losing weight but before he gained any weight, my husband "tried" to cheat on me for the first 5-7 yrs of our relationship and by tried I mean to this day he still insists he has never gone through with it but there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary including me finding a used condom in our car, my best friend telling me through some probing that he had "tried" to cheat with her, girls at my work after I no longer worked there telling me he was contacting them, finding txt messages on his phone to one of his old friends that he cant "wait to see her" when he was supposed to be going camping with his cousin. He lied about all of this and tried to hide it from me. I found out about all of it, split with him, got back together.
The sad part is that I eventually got to where I wasn't willing to take his **** anymore anyway without losing the weight and not being willing to take his **** is what has motivated me the most to now lose the weight. I don't judge people because a few years ago I too had an affair on my husband after years of him mistreating me, I had had enough and was already checked out of the relationship- I didn't hide it from him or lie to him about it and ironically enough he was ok with it because he knew all of the **** he had put me through- his words not mine.
This thought still crosses my mind while losing the weight from time to time-- I am not so much thinking I will divorce my husband (yes I am still with him, don't judge me) but because I am not sure if it will make our relationship better or dissolve it completely. We have been together for 14 years, and have three beautiful children who love both of us dearly so it still crosses my mind.
When I started to lose the weight I was at a place where in my mind the marriage had already ended and I was just taking care of me and could care less what he did or what happened to him........ I love him very much but his "issues" are a bit too much for me
so that's my long response to this post but it kinda strikes a chord with me because yes I know its a possibility and happens more often than it should- which is never- I don't condone cheating even though I myself have done it- it hurts all involved
I know I cannot speak for every child of divorce, but I can speak on behalf of myself. Your children may be hurt from the split, but they will be hurt a lot more from the relationship between you and your husband. Trust me. We see everything you think that we don't. Your children can have wonderful relationships with the two of you; in fact, I love having the alone time with each of my parents, and the alone time with my step-parents as well. The divorce was one of the best things to happen to them, because they are so happy now, and even formed an amazing co-parenting relationship/amicable relationship with one another.
Don't stay in this awful relationship. You deserve to be happy, and to not have his "issues" bringing you down. You are a beautiful woman with a lot of potential, and you don't need a cheater who can't respect that! You can be an amazing parent for your kids, and do something amazing for yourself.0 -
It sounds like the real reason for this post is because you are into punishment, seeing as to how you both foresee it and then make a plea for it0
-
Just my honest opinion, but a cheater is one of the lowest type of people I know.
Simple fact of the matter is, if you don't love someone no more, then have the guts to tell them and move on.
Can't use the excuse that ya didnt want to hurt them, as what ya think finding out ya cheated on the is going to do.
Admittedly many have kids, but coming from a family where was known dad cheated but mum didnt, and no matter what got said about my mum through the divorce, that was not one of them.
And as kids grow up, as long as your honest with them as they ask you the questions, they will respect the hell out of ya.
Plus other thing to remember is, if you do cheat with someone, and that someone turns out to be the new love of your life, the fact you met them while cheating on someone else, that will fester over time and you will start looking for signs in ya partner, even when there is nothing to warrant it.0 -
It strikes me the OP, in common with a lot of other people, is the sort of person who believes thin people are somehow out of fat people's "leagues".
It's sort of true, actually; if you believe in leagues, they exist. In reality, it's nonsense.
I have been out with some really, really attractive women in the past for no other reason than I asked. I'm a balding, fat man.
Perhaps losing weight makes people feel better about themselves, which in turn makes them carry themselves differently and leads to them getting more casual attention from the opposite sex. But the opportunity to cheat is there no matter what your weight is, and I feel connecting the two is a mistake.
TL;DR: If someone wants to cheat, they will.0 -
SOOOOOO , WRONG !!!! They are better off without you0
-
Why is this a Success story?0
-
Actually, it's extremely common that marriages don't work out after weight loss. I would suggest you try marriage counseling or divorce before cheating. Less hurt feelings that way and makes you less of a tramp/homewrecker.0
-
Yep. I sure do!Ok- I'll probably get shellacked for this but have you or know someone who had an affair after significant weight loss?
This is a primary reason why I will NOT consider relationship with a, shall I say, 'significantly' overweight woman. I just won't.
Same here.
GF number 1: Cheated and left after losing weight. We were engaged.
GF number 2: Cheated and left after losing weight. We were engaged.
I know three friends who have got divorced in the past few years after their spouse lost weight and decided that they could 'do better.'
There'd also be a LOT of people filing for divorce or ending the relationship if they found out what their significant other is upto on here/kik now that they've lost weight!
This subject is anything but a success story.0 -
Cheaters will cheat no matter what shape they are in..0
-
Why is this a Success story?
For real! There are tons of things that get posted here that shouldn't be. I guess people just generally think that it will have the highest chance of being seen.0 -
I think this happens way more than we think it does. I've heard it even has it's own name.... "Thinfidelity"0
-
Why cheat? If you no longer want to be with someone leave them! It really is very simple. Only cowards cheat because they don't want to bother with the upset of telling someone they no longer feel the same. Cheaters always get caught, and it is always a total devastation to the person who was cheated on. You may not feel the same about that person anymore but do you feel that little respect towards them to go their back and sleep with someone else?0
-
It's my opinion that a spouse should be completely supportive, if not INVOLVED in the process!
My fiance and I feel closer than ever when we're planning meals, working out together and seeing the loss.
Sure, it means we'll have more opportunity to see other people, but we've been together nine years, our relationship is sound and we're happier than ever. He'd have to be an idiot to leave the comfort and happiness of our relationship, and vice versa.
And if he decides he's no longer happy with me or that he could do better, he's welcome to the door.
And if he cheats on me during our marriage, I'll just take everything from him. :bigsmile:
All joking aside, it's never acceptable. Be a man (or woman!) and tell your partner the truth. Cheating is cowardice.0 -
Lots of great input on my topic with differing views. I know cheating is wrong but you know what? Cheating happens! Just go look at the statistics and I think women actually cheat more then men. Cheating happens for many different reasons. My OP was just to explore if one partner losing significant weight, feeling better about themselves, dressing better increases the possibility. Especially if their spouse is not interested in getting in shape, exercising, eating better, etc.
Yes, as many people stated "cheaters cheat no matter what size or shape" but I am sure weight loss plays a role in the likelihood.0 -
Anyone that "settles" because they think they can't do any better needs therapy. Settling because you're lonely or afraid means you are uncomfortable with yourself. In my mind, it shows that you are not ready for a marriage/relationship. When I met my husband I was thin. After dating for a while I gained some weight. After 2 back to back pregnancies I gained a lot more weight. Not once was he uninterested in me or my body. Looks may initially attract someone, but it fades. What's left after all the skin and bones is the real you. For me personally, knowing someone on a "soul level" is the real turn on. Cheating shows a lack of morals and character. Also, I'd be willing to be that some of these people that did cheat end up gaining their weight back at some point because they never took the time to figure out their issues in the first place.0
-
Maybe if someone felt like they had "settled" because they didn't feel good enough for what they really wanted or if they had long ago lost interest but didn't feel good enough to find someone else and were afraid to be alone. I could see that. Still. Ya gotta end it, mannnn.0
-
I got cheated on AFTER I lost 60 lbs lol0
-
I think that if someone is going to cheat they will do it regardless of loss or not.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 400 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 990 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions