Dropping pounds with inspiring pals [CLOSED GROUP]

Sorry I am a little late to the game!

My name is Tessa and I am 39 years old. I started working on losing weight and getting healthy in January and joined MFP in February at 273 pounds (I am 5'7"). Since then I have been exercising regularly (I'll list what I am doing below) and eating as "clean" as I can afford to with food prices being what they are. I have lost 57 pounds and am currently 216 as of my last weigh day. My diary is public, so feel free to have a look.

Please understand that this is just history, not an excuse for my weight gain. I know I am responsible for my body and I hold myself accountable for my actions.

I have not always been overweight, but I have always had body image issues and was comfortable with how I looked for a really short window of time. I exercised and ate healthy, but I was "chunky" in high school (150 pounds) and just "average" in my early twenties (135-140 pounds), in southern California, this kind of equals fat and that is how I was treated by a lot of people, I felt ugly and invisible all the time. In my late twenties I started running longer and longer distances until I was finally up to 10-15 miles a day and 25 miles on weekends. I trained for distance events and was very fit, weighing 125 pounds with low body fat. For the first time I could live with myself and the way I looked. About 4 years later I moved to Washington state and met my current partner. After we started living together we decided to have children and that's when things got difficult.

I knew I had weird internal issues, but had always been told I could have children. I had a "double" uterus and two cervix, not a hugely rare occurrence and after it was diagnosed I was told I could carry on either side of my uterus and it generally didn't cause complications during labor. However, over the course of a year and a half I had three miscarriages (one of them mid term), two laparoscopic surgeries to remove endometriomas and then finally a radical hysterectomy to remove a massive (benign) tumor. The surgeon informed me that my ovaries were so riddled with cysts it was doubtful that I would have been able to carry a pregnancy to term even without the presence of the tumor, which due to the size of my uterus and the fact that I overproduce estrogen, grew to a enormous size very rapidly. Hysterectomies usually take place with the same type of cut that is used for C-sections, but I had to have a full abdominal cut, opening me up almost from hip to hip. I was in the hospital for two weeks and then put on strict bed rest and light activity after that. I started physical therapy as soon as I could but overdid it and ended up rupturing some internal (and external) sutures and got a severe infection, requiring a second surgery to clean everything up. I didn't know I was overdoing it because I had lost a great deal of sensation, I still don't have much feeling in my lower abdomen.

I had already gained weight in the hospital and afterward at home from the inactivity. Runners who stop running usually pack on pounds pretty fast and I was no exception. Then after the recovery set-back I put on even more weight and the whole concept of not being able to have children with the person I had been waiting my entire life to meet started sinking in. I have struggled with depression my whole life and this series of events just slammed into me and knocked me off my feet. Shortly after my medical problems, my department went through budget cuts and I lost my job. Now I was free to sleep all day, drink alcohol and eat one big fatty meal a day after my partner went to bed, which is what I did for what seems like forever. I packed on 148 pounds in about 5 years and felt like killing myself (which I more or less was).

Then I had that epiphany that many people here talk about. I realized my partner and I weren't having sex and hadn't in a long time, I was afraid to let him see me naked and I hated it when he tried to touch me because I thought that all he could feel was fat. I wasn't technically overeating but I was consuming empty calories in alcohol, which goes straight to fat and only eating one meal a day, which I hid from my partner because I was so ashamed to eat in front of him. I was destroying my relationship and my health. Although I worked from home for people in my academic department doing research and other data crunching, I wasn't even really employable. I could not see how my life could continue as it was so I gathered up all my strength and got to work changing it. And here I am.

I am looking forward to getting to know all of you and offering support and encouragement!

Fitness Friday:
I go to the gym 6 days a week and have Sunday as a "rest day".

Monday-Wednesday-Friday I do straight cardio, 30 minutes on the elliptical alternating programs, 40 minutes on the treadmill (alternating between jogging and walking at an incline) and 20 minutes on the rower. I also do 10-15 minutes of abs at home.

Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday I do cardio and strength. I do 20 minutes on the elliptical using either the "hill" or "strength" setting, then 60 minutes of weights, then finish with another 20 minutes on the elliptical.

Weekdays I also walk 3 or so miles in the morning with the dog, usually about 60-70 minutes depending on the route. Weekends my partner and I try to get out for longer walks, 4-5 miles and we are working on adding miles as we go.

Friday: I've discovered over this past week that any movement is good for you. I've been really sedentary for the last few years and especially bad the last couple or so where I barely got out of my recliner mainly due to depression. Because of that I've put on a lot of weight causing my back and hips to really hurt whenever I try to do anything for an extended period of time. My doctor recently put me on a pain patch that has made a world of difference for me and I've been able to get up and get moving a lot. So I decided to start excercising 30 minutes, 5 days a week. Well, in the meantime I've been spring cleaning because I'm feeling better. Well, between the two, I overdid it...lol. So the doctor said no more exercise for a few days while I let the inflammation go down. I was having a hard time doing this because now after getting up and moving more, I have more energy and I just want to get up and do something. So I decided to keep up the spring cleaning and you know what? I feel great!! Both because I'm getting the exercise in (cause believe me I'm working up a sweat just cleaning) and because I feel better about myself because my house is cleaner and more presentable and that makes me feel good about ME! So, for right now my exercise is spring cleaning! I'm hoping to get back to my 30 minute aerobics in a couple of weeks when my body is more ready to handle that too, but for right now, as long as I'm breaking a sweat cleaning, then I'm doing ok!

That's great that your up and moving more. I really need to do some spring cleaning around my house, but sometimes I just look at it and decide closing my eyes is so much easier. Have you tried water aerobics? I hears that is a really great way to burn calories that isn't tough on the joins.

I love water aerobics! Unfortunately I live in a rural town and the nearest gym is 15 miles away and you have to join the gym in order to do the class and right now I can't justify the gym membership until I'm up and exercising more. Plus with these dumb gas prices it costs $6 to $8 a trip. So, all in due time :0)

Well, my plans fell through for the weekend and I'm thinking about going back to the gym for some running on the treadmill - maybe some practice in the pool?? Maybe I should just watch the 100 tv shows I have piled up on my DVR waiting for a night just like this....what to do???

Definatly go back to the gym and the pool sounds great! I miss the pool.. maybe tonight after my training I will do pool!! and HOT TUB!! oh yea now I am excited... and then relax witht he DVR well doing situps! kidding LOL



To EVERYONE: Wow this is gonna be hard to keep track ..LOL - Glad to see Evryone!!!

Well now I feel like a big slacker, for not replying to everyone individually. Thanks you everyone for your encouraging words.

I know right! lol, i felt I would be here all day lol

Fitness Friday: I haven't done much of anything. I have been having problems with my lapband .. I was coughing up blood earlier and almost nearly blacked out. I think it is just really irritated and swollen, not sure what it is that I ate. But I am taking it easy today, just sipping on a bottle of Vitamin Water. It is not fun let me tell you.

My doctor has mentioned to me so many times about lapband, but I just don't want to go this route for this reason. So many people I know who have done the procedure have had problems with it, and I am scared that I might be one of them. I do hope you feel better, and concentrate on getting better without pushing yourself.

LOL I really think it will be easier when we have a groove going.

Let's hope so, I bet I burn calories just going back and forth

Wow, this group looks like it's moving pretty fast so far. Not sure if thats good or bad... I'm gonna say good until I can't keep up with it anymore haha.

Anywho a little about me ~ My real name is Liz, I'm 26 and live way out on the westside of Phoenix with my fiance. We have 2 cats and a dog (all females, which is kinda strange but oh well). I love them all to death, they are my children since I have no real ones of my own. :laugh: I enjoy listening to music and singing, my tastes are pretty wide but I prefer punk rock. I love going to concerts and chasing storms. Monsoon season is probably my favorite time of year, although I could do without the heat. I'm pretty laid-back and easy going... its hard to offend me and get me very angry. I get along with just about everyone :happy:

I originally started my journey in 2009 and lost 25 lbs, I even made it to ONEderland and I was feeling great! I ended up with an infection in my thigh that had to be cut open and it put me out of commission for about 3 weeks and during that time I totally lost any and all motivation I had. I gained back 30 lbs and was at an all time high of 224. Feeling totally disgusted I re-started my journey last summer and its been an up-and-down rollercoaster ever since. Lose 10 lbs, gain 6, lose 5, gain 3, lose 7, gain 5, etc. I'm currently at 215 last I checked a couple days ago. I've been struggling to find my motivation these past few weeks, so I hope everyone in here can help me with that. I dream of becoming a runner and hope someday I will be able to run a 5K without stopping and eventually run 1/2 and full marathons without stopping to walk. I may be slightly crazy since I have chronic knee problems for about 22 years now, maybe longer, but I remember 22 years of pain off and on of course (if it was constant pain I would have chopped my leg off by now LOL).

Thanks everyone for the welcome and encouragement/etc. I'm sure that I will get to know you all in time, but I may need to refer to your usernames in the meantime because I could possibly forget your "real names." Sorry about that! You can always call me Pin if you want, that seems to have become my nickname on MFP and I'm fine with that .

To respond to the yoga inquiries... I too kind of wanted to take a yoga class, but I'm really just afraid to. I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep up or do the poses with everyone else and I don't want to look like an idiot. So I figured that I would start out doing it at home and practice that way. Then, when I've lost more weight and kind of already know what I'm doing, I could go into a class and not feel so badly about myself. Honestly, doing it at home is probably better for me, because I don't know if I could focus on myself and freeing my mind in a class with other people, at least not at this point. I get distracted easily.

That being said... I got my yoga mat from Target for about $20 or $30. Then, I started out doing yoga videos on Exercise TV (they have a website... I think it's just exercisetv.com, and if you use youtube you can search for some general exercise videos there). I have Comcast as my cable providor and they have "OnDemand," where you can watch a bunch of shows whenever you want (kind of like DVR, but it's free!). Anyway, if you go to OnDemand, find the "sports and fitness" section, then go to Exercise TV, then select "Yoga and Pilates" you can do a bunch of videos for free. It's a nice way to try it out without spending any money. You should also check out your local library... mine has a bunch of yoga DVDs.

My favorite is the Yogaworks Beginners video. The girl who leads the class, Patty Asad, talks you through how to set up the poses, which is really important when you don't know what you're doing. It's about 45 minutes long and it has basic poses. Nothing too intricate, and she tells you how to modify poses if you aren't flexible enough or have trouble moving your body that way. The pacing is fairly slow, too. I want yoga to relax me and help me stretch out... I get flustered when I watch a video that is too fast paced. But you need to find one that suits your needs. If you think you'll get bored, you probably want one that's a little more intense.

I like yoga because it really does help me relax a lot. I feel refreshed after I do yoga. Plus, it helps me stretch and I do think I've become more flexible because of it. Not to mention that it gets easier as you lose more weight. And there are plenty of poses to help you build strength. I need that because I don't belong to a gym and I don't do any strength training, so I know that I'm losing a lot of muscle.

That was a long winded response... sorry about that!

Hey Ladies there is now pic of my puppy on my profile. Her name is abby.


It is nice to know that there are others out there that are going through the same thing. I have no one around me that is going through exactly what I am. I have friends and family that are all on the MFP but they don't understand me... about me and how it is being this heavy.

Love you girls and who ever isn't already on my friends list add me. I need at the support I can get

Hi my name is Chrystal and I am 22. I live in Fresno, Ca and have lived here all my life. I am maried... 3 year now. I started gaining weight when I was in 4th grade. I had a really f*ucked up childhood. To explain real quick, I was molested in 4th grade, Raped in 7th grade, and taken advantage of my freshman in high school.I just wanted to hide from everyone and food became that tool. In 10th grade I dropped down to 180 but had issues with self mutilation and when I had to stop that I started to eat. At my heaviest I was 325lbs.
I don't have any kids but I have 3 cats and a puppy. My puppy loves to exercise with me. we go for walk, jogs, and running up hills.

I started MFP in Febuary at 310 lbs. Right now I am at 298.4 and I am so happy about that. My goal wright is 150. I don't want to be really skin just healthy and happy with myself. I love this site. I have met some amazing woman and they have helped me keep incouraged and really motivated.


Thursday:
I resently took a picture of myself and realized that I have lost weight in my face. It is so exciting to see the progress. That has motivated me to work harder.

Hey Chrystal - I meant to reply to this earlier but I got busy and distracted, but your post really hit home for me. I was molested in 4th and 5th grades, in 4th grade by one of my sister's "friends" at one of her crazy drug binge parties she would throw while my mom worked graveyards, and then again in 5th grade by my mom's boyfriend. I know how hard it is to go through it, I struggled a lot and it didn't help that my mom refused to believe what had happened and chose her boyfriend over her own daughter. I started gaining weight after those events, and I really believe it was a subconscious thing that if I kept eating and getting fat than no guy would ever touch me like that again. I went through horrible depression throughout middle/high school and self mutilated to ease the pain, eventually I turned to drugs to self medicate my depression. I still have issues now with food, body image, self sabotage, depression, and intimacy... it's awful and I wish I could afford to get help, and I really wish that other women never have to experience this in their lives but unfortunately thats not the case.

Anywho - I just wanted to share with you, so that you know you aren't alone. I know my story in no way compares to yours, but there are similarities and I think the emotional struggle you end up with is very much alike. If you ever want to chat, or get some things off your chest, etc feel free to shoot me a message anytime.

Saturday: NSV...Well I decided I wanted to know exactly what it felt like to walk around 30 lbs ago. So I grabbed some free weights and some other heavy things to try and simulate 30 lbs and thenwalked around the house. Then I put it down. I cannot beleive what a difference only thirty pounds makes. Its amazing. That's 3 bowling balls that I am not having to lug around every day and it makes getting up and going so much easier.

I also went to a movie with my dad the other night and we couldn't leave out the exit we wanted to because there was some sort of emergency and I had to walk all the way around the building with my dad who walks really fast. I kept pace with him and wasn't even winded. I guess it is because I decided to put down three of those bowling balls.

Finally, last night I went to my parents house and my mom said, "are those new jeans?"
I said "no but I couldn't fit in them before".
She said "those are the same ones you wore two weeks ago, they look looser on you. Your tummy is disappearing".
Then my dad walked in and my mom said, "look at sarah" and my dad says "yes her "little" tummy is shrinking".

I know its just my parents, but it is nice to know they see a difference.

Good morons friends! I'll spend some time hanging out with y'all a bit later but I wanted to share a cool NSV. I sing. I've been singing for years and years. Lately with my church's worship team and in the car/shower! Well in the last couple of years I've struggled with correct breathing and would have a hard time sustaining notes. Since I started exercising and amazingly enough in the last week since swimming, I've noticed a HUGE increase in my lung capacity! I am thrilled! I never thought about what exercising would do for my music!!

Have a fabulous day and I'll see you shortly!

I think my best NSV for me during this weight loss journy is when I took my puppy to the beach. I was able to run on the beach with her so she can chase the birds. With my weight I can only run or job a little bit but I hadn't been able to run sence I was in high school. I never thought that something as small ad running on the beach would mean so much to me but it does.

It shows me that it is posible. That one day I will have kids and be ble to run around with them and be active with them. My parents were always overweight and never did anything with us that took physical activity. I don't want to be like that with my kids. I want to be that mom that gets out there and plays with them. who helps teach them how to play sports, who spends time with them and not sit on the side lines watching them.

Who new the little things would mean so much

I think my best NSV for me during this weight loss journy is when I took my puppy to the beach. I was able to run on the beach with her so she can chase the birds. With my weight I can only run or job a little bit but I hadn't been able to run sence I was in high school. I never thought that something as small ad running on the beach would mean so much to me but it does.

That's awesome! I have tried to run/jog with my dogs, they don't like it (and neither do I, haha...). I can't run for more than a minute at a time. And clearly, my dogs are getting too old for that nonsense because they let me know it. You should be very proud of yourself!

My NSV is fitting into size 16 jeans last night. Considering they were really really tight, but none of the less, I could pull them up and button them and zip them. WIN!!!

That's wonderful! I love being able to buy a smaller size of jeans. It's one of my favorite things!