My fiance keeps gaining weight !
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »Love him for who he is, not what he looks like! Handsomeness at all sizes!
Oh, it doesn't apply to fellas? That's a bit sexist, isn't it readers?
You get it.
Can you imagine how this thread would play out if the OP was male and posting about his girlfriend/fiance?
[dumpsterfire.gif]
Actually there are guys who do say those types of things. There are plenty of online sites of guys being jerks about women's looks. It's just that some people are superficial.
saying you aren't sexually attracted to someone who neglects and significantly alter's their appearance isn't being a jerk. It's a complete reality and possibility. There are a number of factors at play- and it's not fair to to the other person who has to sit there and watch it happen- so it appears that it's 100% not okay to say hey honey you're gaining weight- but yet you have to sit there and be miserable through sickness and health just because and now your beautiful charming wife is now obese and miserable? seriously- WTF.
That is NOT okay. for either a man or a woman.
I'm not attracted to fat people. I would never date someone significantly over weight- I have over weight friends that I'm happy to be friends with- male and female alike- I wouldn't bone any of them. And I certainly wouldn't be having sexy time with my BF if he put on another 25-50 pounds. not happening. Call me shallow- call me vain- but I'm not turned on by that.
We aren't talking about a condition that is outside anyone's grasp to control.
This whole "marriage is for life"
guess what. People change. Sometimes significantly. Sometimes so much so life becomes unlivable- unbearable and you are miserable. Should you still stay just because some archaic paper work based of religious principles most people don't even actively follow said divorce is bad?
Come on. Let's be realistic. I'm not saying walk out the second someone puts on 5 pounds- and you aren't leaving someone because they get cancer- but saying all divorce is bad and through sickness and health- getting fat isn't a sickness- it's completely controllable. yes you have to put in work- and yeah leaving at the first sign of trouble is lame- but come on- not everyone should be stuck in a loveless- sexless marriage "just because sickness and health" that's illogical.
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For me, I went into marriage knowing that I will make it work as long as possible. My goal is obviously forever. Now there are deal breakers for me and I would obviously divorce (abuse, financial infidelity, infidelity, etc.). Divorce isn't the devil. BUT, if something like weight gain makes you not want to be around or bang your fiancé then it is time to GTFO... like yesterday. If your deal breaker comes up while engaged, why on earth would you get married?!?!
THAT is the take home message that people are trying to get across.
Some people aren't built for marriage... there are people that need to be able to move around when things get out of whack. If that is you, no biggie. Don't get married only to get divorced. If you need to be a serial monogamist that's ok, too.
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I don't understand why some are getting bent out of shape about OP thread. Everyone is too sensitive. whats the big deal about encouraging your SO to be active and be healthy? From I understand, OP tried to encourage her SO to come to the gym with her and he gets angry. She didn't come right out and say ``You are getting fat and I no longer find you attractive!. I would have no problem bringing this issue if I was in OP situation because I care about about my partner. We both made agreement that we would tell each other if we are packing on the pounds. I don't understand why some of you are acting as its the worse thing since sliced bread. Calm down people
Thank you! I agree.0 -
My husband stood by me through my cancer treatment when I got obese. He never said a thing, but still kept his attraction for me. He is slim and fit. I could hardly walk.
I now am fit and slim through mfp. It was my own motivation that got me going. I can tell he loves my new body, but I'm grateful to him for not criticising me when I was fat. It has to come from the person, who is usually deeply ashamed of how fat they've got, but not able to say.
If you can't love them through thin and thick and communication has broken down, then move on.0 -
JiaoHotMamaInWorks2 wrote: »veganbettie wrote: »HotMamaInWorks2 wrote: »kimberlianne1985 wrote: »Change what food you have in the house. Stop buying easy to make things and have portions of chicken and rice all ready to go in the fridge. People like to grab things and just eat so give him some good things to grab and eat not processed junk and candy/chips.
he's not a child and she's not his mother...he's a grown man and can eat whatever he wants.
Ya but if she is the cook of the house and he doesn't put forth the effort to cook or go shopping then this is a good option. Doesn't always work as cheap fast food is pretty accessible outside of the home but...
I won't say what I want to say about the OP...just suffice to say...HE needs to leave the relationshipHotMamaInWorks2 wrote: »veganbettie wrote: »HotMamaInWorks2 wrote: »kimberlianne1985 wrote: »Change what food you have in the house. Stop buying easy to make things and have portions of chicken and rice all ready to go in the fridge. People like to grab things and just eat so give him some good things to grab and eat not processed junk and candy/chips.
he's not a child and she's not his mother...he's a grown man and can eat whatever he wants.
Ya but if she is the cook of the house and he doesn't put forth the effort to cook or go shopping then this is a good option. Doesn't always work as cheap fast food is pretty accessible outside of the home but...
I won't say what I want to say about the OP...just suffice to say...HE needs to leave the relationship
I am sure this lady husband is fat and weighs 400 pounds judging for her answers.I takr care of myself and I expect the same in a partner.I don't see anything wrong to encorage my partner to be healthy.Just to be clear things up, I didn't call him fat to his face.All I did was suggesting Myfitness pal and gym and he got angry.I don't thing its acceptable to let yourself go just because you are in relationship and expect your partner to be still attracted to you.He used to be obese when he was younger .He will end up back where he started if he is not careful.Just because you woudny care if your SO let themselve go doesn't mean we have to be like you
There isn't anything wrong with wanting your partner to be healthy, but you need to realize that healthy isn't just about the body, it's about the mind too. He's gained a lot of weight and its possible there might be something going on to make him eat a lot more. Why instead of suggesting MFP or to go work out you ask him what's going on in his life. Talk to him. If nothing is going on and he just decided to give up on eating right because its a pain, then I'd say its okay to be upset with him. But have you even tried to see if there is something else going on with him rather than just nagging him about getting healthy to fit YOUR needs? Think about him. You supposedly love him enough to marry him, then you should love him enough to find out if he's having problems and putting his needs before your own, especially when your is just vanity.
And if the way he looks bothers you so much then get out of the relationship and find someone you are attracted to and let him find someone who isn't trying to change him and loves him the way he is. If you can't love him the way he is, then get out of the relationship before you have an expensive divorce to pay for.0 -
HotMamaInWorks wrote: »his weight, his eating problems...not yours. Only worry about you.
since I sleep with the person and going to marry this person then his weight is my business and my concern
Every time I read one of your posts in this thread, I imagine the massive flame war that would be on you for suggesting your gf is fat and her fatness is your business and main concern...
Maybe it would help you if you think about what you'd say if a close girlfriend came to you and said her fiancee said she was too fat, and he's not attracted to her anymore unless she loses a lot of weight, and that her weight is his business and concern...
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Why are most people trying to be nice to this person?
I've seen the comment about eating too many cookies and being fat, along with the comment about the lady weighing 400lbs. I can just imagine the toxic comments she makes to her 'SO' when the mood takes her.
This isn't about his weight anymore - she just wants everyone to agree with her.
Do the guy a favour luv. Buy him a decent pair of trainers and get him a personal trainer for Xmas. So the poor fella can run away from you. Fast.
Hope this helps
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I've been married for 17 years, been with him for over 20 yrs. We have always been overweight together but now that I'm losing I do see him differently. Just this morning he was eating a waffle and using it to scoop out butter. I wanted to yell at him but I didn't. Sad but he needs to want to change. I don't know if you should stay or break up but if I was you I would look at the relationship as a whole. If everything else is great I wouldn't break up. Life is full of highs and lows. This might be a low and you might both come out of this stronger. Give him some time.0
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »My husband stood by me through my cancer treatment when I got obese. He never said a thing, but still kept his attraction for me. He is slim and fit. I could hardly walk.
I now am fit and slim through mfp. It was my own motivation that got me going. I can tell he loves my new body, but I'm grateful to him for not criticising me when I was fat. It has to come from the person, who is usually deeply ashamed of how fat they've got, but not able to say.
If you can't love them through thin and thick and communication has broken down, then move on.
There is a significant difference between outside events and things that are 100% within your control.
Cancer- not something you opt IN or volunteer for.
No medical conditions- but you just got fat??- that's an optional choice.
You cannot compare your lemons to their apples.
If my BF started smoking I'd probably have to have words- it's 100% a personal CHOICE. And if he chose to keep smoking- I'd chose to be single.
Choosing to take no actions at all in regards to your weight that is 100% in your control and can and will contribute to heart disease and diabetes is not remotely the same as having cancer.
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LabAgility wrote: »For me, I went into marriage knowing that I will make it work as long as possible. My goal is obviously forever. Now there are deal breakers for me and I would obviously divorce (abuse, financial infidelity, infidelity, etc.). Divorce isn't the devil. BUT, if something like weight gain makes you not want to be around or bang your fiancé then it is time to GTFO... like yesterday. If your deal breaker comes up while engaged, why on earth would you get married?!?!
THAT is the take home message that people are trying to get across.
Some people aren't built for marriage... there are people that need to be able to move around when things get out of whack. If that is you, no biggie. Don't get married only to get divorced. If you need to be a serial monogamist that's ok, too.
This. You can think whatever you want about fat people, thin people, and in-between people, but if his attitude and weight are your deal-breaker, then leave. You'd just be making both of you miserable otherwise.
That said, I would mention to him if this was a deal-breaker. It would function as both a way for him to re-align his priorities if he's going to, or leave you because his priorities are not the same.
Talk to him. Not to us. PROTIP: Leave the "laziness and cookies" part out of it when you talk to him.0 -
He knows he's overweight, what you need to know is that you can't change that. He has to. If he's on board with changing, you can certainly help him...but not until then. There's nothing you can do besides tell him how you really feel. If he wants to work with you and you with him, fine, if not, don't get married. I'm not even kidding. If you can't resolve this before marriage, it's not going away after.0
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His weight is the least of your problems. Pretty soon, age will catch up with him, or he may struggle at work or financially. Hurry up and leave him before he gets older, sick, develops mental health issues, financial problems, or fails to meet other expectations.
Love 'em or leave 'em. All the conditions are BS.0 -
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10009888/any-soon-to-be-brides-out-there
oooohhhhh. the urge to "merge" threads.......0 -
well since you mention that he has a history of fat ,,,, and is fat again ,,,, you can assume that is going to be his comfort zone and where he flounders without specific effort .
All you can do is lay it out to him ,,, " If I wanted a Fat Dude , I would have picked one " ,,,, tell him " Hey Pal , what this tells me is that all I deserve is some fat slob ."
It may make a difference but probably not . Then you have to decide whether you want to marry Bubba or not .
BTW ,,, anyone that suggests some kinder , gentler approach ,,,,,,,, well , they are clueless .-5 -
That is a very tough situation to be in. Usually the best thing to do is tell him you love him no matter what he looks like, it's more of a health issue. You don't want him to die of a heart attack at the age of 40.0
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Oh for *kitten*'s sake!
That heart attack at forty *kitten* has GOT to go.
I'm 45, 5'2" and weigh 250. While yes, yes, yes, I want to take weight off, my blood pressure is 118/68 and my resting heart rate is 62. Fat=/walking heart attack.
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I cant believe some of the responses from people. just flatout rude but I guess that's what happens when you lose weight and start to feel above everyone who hasn't. girl if you still love him and he makes you happy then stay and try to figure it out. maybe he will come around but if he keep going in the direction hes going without even considering going to the gym with you or listening to your concerns then its best you leave. you say you aren't even attracted to him anymore so that could be a sign but don't give up if deep down inside you know you don't have to0
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I'm a big dude but I've never been with a big girl. I'm not bragging or anything stupid it's just the truth. I'm not attracted to larger women. As I mentioned before I lost my father due to weight complications and now my mother is living with me because of weight and other complications from her rapidly gaining it. I see how I was when I was at my heaviest and how morbidly obese my parents were and it's a turn off.
To all the people that are condescending to this girl ... why? You're saying she's a bully/wrong for trying to get her fiance to stay healthy and fit ... Isn't that why we're all on this website? To those that say love him like this or any other size I get that I really do but when you're with someone and they gain a significant amount of weight without a medical reason obviously there's something going on.
As I mentioned before people change with weight gain/loss it's a fact. She may enjoy dancing and being active whereas now she can't do those things. Nothing wrong with that you better believe when I get down to my goal weight and can do the things I've dreamed of doing I'll be doing them naked if it makes me feel better.
I'm curious as to what your fiance's height and weight is. Is he obese or just a little overweight? What does he say about your healthy lifestyle? Do you live together? What are both of yours schedule? Does he stay at home when you go to the gym? Does your fiance say anything about lack of sex and if so have you told him your feelings?
Only reason I ask these things is because like others have hinted at I wonder if there's more to it than just him gaining the weight. I know for me I was blind to a lot of things and I would direct all my confusion, frustration, etc feelings toward one thing when that wasn't really what the issue was.
If you wanted a serious answer we'll need more information but again there is absolutely nothing wrong with no longer being attracted to someone. We're human and that's a part of it, if other people can't understand that (don't have to agree) then it's their loss.0 -
Zeroaccess wrote: »I'm a big dude but I've never been with a big girl. I'm not bragging or anything stupid it's just the truth. I'm not attracted to larger women. As I mentioned before I lost my father due to weight complications and now my mother is living with me because of weight and other complications from her rapidly gaining it. I see how I was when I was at my heaviest and how morbidly obese my parents were and it's a turn off.
To all the people that are condescending to this girl ... why? You're saying she's a bully/wrong for trying to get her fiance to stay healthy and fit ... Isn't that why we're all on this website? To those that say love him like this or any other size I get that I really do but when you're with someone and they gain a significant amount of weight without a medical reason obviously there's something going on.
As I mentioned before people change with weight gain/loss it's a fact. She may enjoy dancing and being active whereas now she can't do those things. Nothing wrong with that you better believe when I get down to my goal weight and can do the things I've dreamed of doing I'll be doing them naked if it makes me feel better.
I'm curious as to what your fiance's height and weight is. Is he obese or just a little overweight? What does he say about your healthy lifestyle? Do you live together? What are both of yours schedule? Does he stay at home when you go to the gym? Does your fiance say anything about lack of sex and if so have you told him your feelings?
Only reason I ask these things is because like others have hinted at I wonder if there's more to it than just him gaining the weight. I know for me I was blind to a lot of things and I would direct all my confusion, frustration, etc feelings toward one thing when that wasn't really what the issue was.
If you wanted a serious answer we'll need more information but again there is absolutely nothing wrong with no longer being attracted to someone. We're human and that's a part of it, if other people can't understand that (don't have to agree) then it's their loss.
Thank you, I totally agree with you. I don't why other people got offended with my thread. I do agree with you that people change when people they gain allot of weight including their appearance. If someone where to put 100 pounds ,then they will turn into different person and their appearance would change as well.Well my fiancé has now a big belly since he carry most of his weight on his stomach and it bothers me during sex.
I don't understand why I am being condescended for being concerned with my SO health .They are automatically saying that letting yourself go and get overweight is not a big deal in relationship. I have been only 20 pounds overweight before based on my height and i didnt feel sexy or good .If i was bigger then and I would focus on losing weight first than dating .I would totally understand if a dude didn't want to date me because of that.
And yes, he pretty much stays at home and binge of junk food. He is always going to the fridge to grab food every few minutes and my grocery doesn't last. I had to hide my daughter cookies because he kept eating them. He is 5`8 and now weighs 250 lbs btw.He used to be 175 lbs
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MyRummyHens wrote: »I am currently having a weighty issue with my husband. It's got nothing what so ever to do with what he looks like, I'd find him sexy as hell if he was 100lb heavier than he is, but it's more to do with a health issue he has, which is exacerbated by carrying too much additional weight. I've tried every possible hint at subtly, been making him pack lunches, dragging him over the gym with me, tried straight talking (i.e really worried about your crazy blood pressure etc). Nothing seems to get through for more than 5 minutes. He'll be respectable for a few days and then boom, he's right back on the over eating/under exercising.
I personally think OP has two issues:
1. Your problem, which is that you no longer find your SO attractive. Life is about ups and downs so if you can't love him at his worst, then should you really be marrying him? Is this no longer finding him attractive thing an escape route for not marrying him? It's okay if you discover that someone isn't the person you thought they were, or to fall out of love with someone. Look at it this way, if you guys aren't right for each other then it's much better to end things before an expensive wedding and then divorce are required.
2. His weight has gone up almost 50%. You don't say how tall he is, but I'm assuming that he's put on 75lb from a 'normal' weight rather than underweight. That's not a normal behavior in a short space of time. It sounds to me like more than the 10-30lb 'happy' weight gain lots of couples put on. There is almost certainly an underlying issue there. He is going to need help, especially if there is no signs of it letting up. Unless he is willing to talk to you about it then your options are limited in terms of helping. All you can really do is be as supportive as possible, which is what I am trying to do in the face of my husband being a heart attack risk and constantly scoffing his face with all the wrong things.
I had this EXACT same problem. Husband had lost a considerable amount of weight since I met him/we married but he still was morbidly obese with terrible habits and from time to time it would come up in conversation randomly but he never did much to change it. Finally a little ago I had a big juvenile freak out and was just a blubbering mess "I love you so much I don't want you to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee /sob /sniff /choke /sob". He was like "oh. ok" and has since done a 180 in his habits. WTF? I guess I just needed to ask. Probably could have spared the hysterics. Just mentioning this on the off chance maybe you haven't already totally exposed how scared you are and bawling like an idiot might move him? I never would have thought that would have worked until it did!
I was always worried about husband dying early (still am) but made my peace that he was likely going to die young well before we got to the "engagement" stage of the relationship. I still loved him and if all I got was 5 years of obese husband then so be it. He is amazing. OP you just aren't going to change anyone until they are ready. If you want to marry someone you aren't even attracted to that's your business, but doesn't that sound like a sad life? You want to live the rest of your/his life married to some dude you aren't attracted to?
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when I met him he was 175 lbs but now he is up to 250 pounds. He used to be obese when he was younger and I am concerned he might be heading the same path. He eats big potions of food, eating out of boredom and little to no exercise since we moved in together. He now has a big gut and I am no longer attracted to him. I tried suggesting myfitness pal and invite him to the gym but he gets angry when I bring up his weight. Anyone ever been in this situation?
I don't know what kind of answers the OP is looking for. The only advice I have for her is- break up. Do the guy a favor and let him find someone better for himself.
Maybe the OP can find someone more of her caliber as her gas smells like rainbows and sunshine... That's just the feeling i get from reading her numerous responses. She's this amazing person, asking on an internet forum what to do about her relationship issues. Guess what, this isn't marriage or relationship counseling. I doubt that she even cares about the relationship that she's in if she's flaunting the fact that she needs to belittle her significant other on the internet.
Oh, and OP, btw, it'll be cosmic justice in the future, when your future Significant Other, if you deem some other sap "worthy" of your time, leaves you for someone else that looks better, does better in the bedroom, or some other nonsense. Karma is interesting that way.
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How old is your daughter? Is he the father of your daughter?Zeroaccess wrote: »I'm a big dude but I've never been with a big girl. I'm not bragging or anything stupid it's just the truth. I'm not attracted to larger women. As I mentioned before I lost my father due to weight complications and now my mother is living with me because of weight and other complications from her rapidly gaining it. I see how I was when I was at my heaviest and how morbidly obese my parents were and it's a turn off.
To all the people that are condescending to this girl ... why? You're saying she's a bully/wrong for trying to get her fiance to stay healthy and fit ... Isn't that why we're all on this website? To those that say love him like this or any other size I get that I really do but when you're with someone and they gain a significant amount of weight without a medical reason obviously there's something going on.
As I mentioned before people change with weight gain/loss it's a fact. She may enjoy dancing and being active whereas now she can't do those things. Nothing wrong with that you better believe when I get down to my goal weight and can do the things I've dreamed of doing I'll be doing them naked if it makes me feel better.
I'm curious as to what your fiance's height and weight is. Is he obese or just a little overweight? What does he say about your healthy lifestyle? Do you live together? What are both of yours schedule? Does he stay at home when you go to the gym? Does your fiance say anything about lack of sex and if so have you told him your feelings?
Only reason I ask these things is because like others have hinted at I wonder if there's more to it than just him gaining the weight. I know for me I was blind to a lot of things and I would direct all my confusion, frustration, etc feelings toward one thing when that wasn't really what the issue was.
If you wanted a serious answer we'll need more information but again there is absolutely nothing wrong with no longer being attracted to someone. We're human and that's a part of it, if other people can't understand that (don't have to agree) then it's their loss.
Thank you, I totally agree with you. I don't why other people got offended with my thread. I do agree with you that people change when people they gain allot of weight including their appearance. If someone where to put 100 pounds ,then they will turn into different person and their appearance would change as well.Well my fiancé has now a big belly since he carry most of his weight on his stomach and it bothers me during sex.
I don't understand why I am being condescended for being concerned with my SO health .They are automatically saying that letting yourself go and get overweight is not a big deal in relationship. I have been only 20 pounds overweight before based on my height and i didnt feel sexy or good .If i was bigger then and I would focus on losing weight first than dating .I would totally understand if a dude didn't want to date me because of that.
And yes, he pretty much stays at home and binge of junk food. He is always going to the fridge to grab food every few minutes and my grocery doesn't last. I had to hide my daughter cookies because he kept eating them. He is 5`8 and now weighs 250 lbs btw.He used to be 175 lbs
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My Daughter is 7 years old and he is not the father .Its from previous relationship
How old is your daughter? Is he the father of your daughter?Zeroaccess wrote: »I'm a big dude but I've never been with a big girl. I'm not bragging or anything stupid it's just the truth. I'm not attracted to larger women. As I mentioned before I lost my father due to weight complications and now my mother is living with me because of weight and other complications from her rapidly gaining it. I see how I was when I was at my heaviest and how morbidly obese my parents were and it's a turn off.
To all the people that are condescending to this girl ... why? You're saying she's a bully/wrong for trying to get her fiance to stay healthy and fit ... Isn't that why we're all on this website? To those that say love him like this or any other size I get that I really do but when you're with someone and they gain a significant amount of weight without a medical reason obviously there's something going on.
As I mentioned before people change with weight gain/loss it's a fact. She may enjoy dancing and being active whereas now she can't do those things. Nothing wrong with that you better believe when I get down to my goal weight and can do the things I've dreamed of doing I'll be doing them naked if it makes me feel better.
I'm curious as to what your fiance's height and weight is. Is he obese or just a little overweight? What does he say about your healthy lifestyle? Do you live together? What are both of yours schedule? Does he stay at home when you go to the gym? Does your fiance say anything about lack of sex and if so have you told him your feelings?
Only reason I ask these things is because like others have hinted at I wonder if there's more to it than just him gaining the weight. I know for me I was blind to a lot of things and I would direct all my confusion, frustration, etc feelings toward one thing when that wasn't really what the issue was.
If you wanted a serious answer we'll need more information but again there is absolutely nothing wrong with no longer being attracted to someone. We're human and that's a part of it, if other people can't understand that (don't have to agree) then it's their loss.
Thank you, I totally agree with you. I don't why other people got offended with my thread. I do agree with you that people change when people they gain allot of weight including their appearance. If someone where to put 100 pounds ,then they will turn into different person and their appearance would change as well.Well my fiancé has now a big belly since he carry most of his weight on his stomach and it bothers me during sex.
I don't understand why I am being condescended for being concerned with my SO health .They are automatically saying that letting yourself go and get overweight is not a big deal in relationship. I have been only 20 pounds overweight before based on my height and i didnt feel sexy or good .If i was bigger then and I would focus on losing weight first than dating .I would totally understand if a dude didn't want to date me because of that.
And yes, he pretty much stays at home and binge of junk food. He is always going to the fridge to grab food every few minutes and my grocery doesn't last. I had to hide my daughter cookies because he kept eating them. He is 5`8 and now weighs 250 lbs btw.He used to be 175 lbs
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To all of those who are against my OP then let me ask you this.Since its obvious that you condone obesity then what are you all doing in this site? I cant speak for everyone but for me I want to feel good and sexy. I was never really overweight but i do work hard to maintain my weight.I also want to live longer and not have health issues that are related to being obese. Then why do you all expect me to be okay with my SO letting himself go and get obese? Isn`t that the reason why you are all here to lose weight and stay fit? Then why is it wrong to want a partner who takes care of himself and stays in shape? Am I missing something?-1
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To all of those who are against my OP then let me ask you this.Since its obvious that you condone obesity then what are you all doing in this site? I cant speak for everyone but for me I want to feel good and sexy. I was never really overweight but i do work hard to maintain my weight.I also want to live longer and not have health issues that are related to being obese. Then why do you all expect me to be okay with my SO letting himself go and get obese? Isn`t that the reason why you are all here to lose weight and stay fit? Then why is it wrong to want a partner who takes care of himself and stays in shape? Am I missing something?
I just don't condone being a d*ck to someone you're supposed to love on a public forum where they are not around to defend themselves. HE is not on here to lose weight, but your self righteousness seems to be doing enough work on this forum for you both.
My DH is obese actually, and I like I said before I don't love him for numbers on a scale. I love him for sticking by my side through thick and thin. For his sense of humor. His gorgeous eyes. His laugh. His smile. Being an amazing daddy, and even adopting my oldest.
When he decides to get serious about losing weight I will be more than willing to support the hell out of him. Until then I will continue on my own path to lose weight and make healthier meals for the whole family.
Seriously though, if it's that much of a problem for you then just walk away from the relationship.0 -
I am going to suggest putting this marriage on hold.
Not because of the weight gain per se; fat is not a deal killer. You can have a good marriage with someone who's overweight.
He is obviously stressed and possibly clinically depressed, with a huge and relatively sudden negative turn in his health - but even that isn't a deal killer.
What is a deal killer is the fact that he refuses to do anything about this problem - refuses to even talk about it. When you do try to talk about it, he tries to guilt you into silence. You have a pattern here of someone who is trying to bury is problems with food and isn't willing to get help. This is a total deal killer.
Life gets a lot more complicated after you eat the wedding cake, and infinitely more complicated than that when you have kids. If this guy can't be constructive and deal with problems effectively when you're in "fiancee" mode, he is going to be a total disaster in "husband and father" mode.0 -
Did something change after you go together -- new job hours, new medication, money worries?0
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HotMamaInWorks2 wrote: »To all of those who are against my OP then let me ask you this.Since its obvious that you condone obesity then what are you all doing in this site? I cant speak for everyone but for me I want to feel good and sexy. I was never really overweight but i do work hard to maintain my weight.I also want to live longer and not have health issues that are related to being obese. Then why do you all expect me to be okay with my SO letting himself go and get obese? Isn`t that the reason why you are all here to lose weight and stay fit? Then why is it wrong to want a partner who takes care of himself and stays in shape? Am I missing something?
You don't care about his health, you care about what he looks like by your side. I love how you ASSume everything about the people that commented on this thread. You need to grow up and HE needs to leave YOU! You don't deserve him and he deserves to be treated better than you're treating him.
Ofcorse I care about his looks.I am not going to deny that.I am going to marry him and have kids with him so I would want him to live longer and not die young.If he gets obese again then our sex life will suffer and he wont be around to watch his kids grow up.I don't see anything wrong with not wanting an obese partner.
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Did something change after you go together -- new job hours, new medication, money worries?
Nope, He is just eating more and not exercising.He used to work out before we started dating and he stopped. He eats large potion of foods.So he is eating more than what he burning with lack of exercise.He also eat a whole box of pizza by himself etc
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