Affair after Weight Loss

Honestly, now days divorce is much more acceptable and easy. Vows don't mean much anymore. Granted I've only been married 5 years. My wife gained a significant amount of weight after pregnancy. I would never cheat, although I found myself being very complacent and I stopped trying to woo her. Our marriage has been extremely rocky. I'm in the gym every day, not for others, but it is a release for me for frustrations and it makes me feel great. With her struggle, I was very insensitive because my mentally was get off your hiney and do something about it. Lately, I've been trying to treat her like we were dating. And the response is staggering. It takes both parties to give effort and sometimes all it takes is one to stop being defensive and put their spouse in front of themselves. Weight loss has very little significance on cheating. Attention from others when you feel invisible at home is going to create some realization they deserve more. Now granted weight loss creates a lot more confidence and regardless of size, that is sexy. The problems are much deeper than weight loss. I just have to ensure I don't become complacent again, and that requires a conscious effort daily. And she is worth it. My opinion is only developed from my personal experience. Obviously different situations warrant different scenarios. One thing I completely disagree with is cheating. Pretty crappy in my opinion after promising vows to each other.

lookin4gains wrote: »

Honestly, now days divorce is much more acceptable and easy. Vows don't mean *kitten* anymore. Granted I've only been married 5 years. My wife gained a significant amount of weight after pregnancy. I would never cheat, although I found myself being very complacent and I stopped trying to woo her. Our marriage has been extremely rocky. I'm in the gym every day, not for others, but it is a release for me for frustrations and it makes me feel great. With her struggle, I was very insensitive because my mentally was get off your *kitten* and do something about it. Lately, I've been trying to treat her like we were dating. And the response is staggering. It takes both parties to give effort and sometimes all it takes is one to stop being defensive and put their spouse in front of themselves. Weight loss has very little significance on cheating. Attention from others when you feel invisible at home is going to create some realization they deserve more. Now granted weight loss creates a lot more confidence and regardless of size, that is sexy. The problems are much deeper than weight loss. I just have to ensure I don't become complacent again, and that requires a conscious effort daily. And she is worth it. My opinion is only developed from my personal experience. Obviously different situations warrant different scenarios. One thing I completely disagree with is cheating. Pretty *kitten* in my opinion after promising vows to each other.

How sweet.

lookin4gains wrote: »

Honestly, now days divorce is much more acceptable and easy. Vows don't mean *kitten* anymore. Granted I've only been married 5 years. My wife gained a significant amount of weight after pregnancy. I would never cheat, although I found myself being very complacent and I stopped trying to woo her. Our marriage has been extremely rocky. I'm in the gym every day, not for others, but it is a release for me for frustrations and it makes me feel great. With her struggle, I was very insensitive because my mentally was get off your *kitten* and do something about it. Lately, I've been trying to treat her like we were dating. And the response is staggering. It takes both parties to give effort and sometimes all it takes is one to stop being defensive and put their spouse in front of themselves. Weight loss has very little significance on cheating. Attention from others when you feel invisible at home is going to create some realization they deserve more. Now granted weight loss creates a lot more confidence and regardless of size, that is sexy. The problems are much deeper than weight loss. I just have to ensure I don't become complacent again, and that requires a conscious effort daily. And she is worth it. My opinion is only developed from my personal experience. Obviously different situations warrant different scenarios. One thing I completely disagree with is cheating. Pretty *kitten* in my opinion after promising vows to each other.

You are proof that if you (and your SO) are willing to work for the relationship, it can come back from rocky and unhappy and become what you've always wanted. My husband and I have been there, done that and have been together for 25 years now. My husband is significantly heavier than he was when we married. But he's still the same person inside, and that's who I fell in love with.

Veil5577 wrote: »

My ex tried finding someone online to have an affair with when he got into really good shape and I was not. Needless to say, that was the beginning of the end for us.

Losing weight is not an excuse for cheating. Sorry.

To me there's NO excuse for cheating. Check out of the relationship completely...take a break ...when you think you're ready to jump back in....take a bit more time.

Then go meet someone... but it never fails, someone cheats and then hooks up and is horrified that the person they cheated with cheats on them. Why is that a mystery?

BTW... regarding your thread... losing weight isn't like you're a magnet with no power to control your sexual appetite so you have to head out and cheat because someone turns around and looks at you (you might have tp on your shoe..who knows). lol

Oh..and Fat girls get looks too, guys like all sorts of women, not particularly cheaters but women with a good personality, fun to be with, like minded (athletic, gamer, reader, whatever 2 ppl have in common) etc.

So if it was a cheating relationship you're expecting it to last are you? So you were flattered because he had sex with you? Lots of guys enjoy having sex.. and to some guys it doesn't mean anything but having a good time.


nah...no emoticon good enough for this thread...... nothing that fits.

tuckerrj wrote: »

Love is a decision, not an emotion. You choose to love, even when it gets hard, or when the other gains or loses weight. Too often love is confused with lust, infatuation or some other feeling. My wife and I chose to love each other, and 34 years later we make that same decision everyday.

As an above poster said, love is too often confused with lust. If you truly love your spouse, nothing should change after either one of you loses weight.

If you don't love someone anymore, the both of you should move on. Cheating is wrong and no one deserves that heartache.

I think that person is shallow beyond all doubt if they cheat on you because they have improved their physical appearance.