People on here need to stick to feedback the user asks for?!?!
Options
Replies
-
diannethegeek wrote: »Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
No one is required to act as a teacher, coach, or positive influence for another person just because they signed up for a message board or app. People are here for many reasons and I don't see anything about requiring successful people to act as teachers in the TOS.
This thread and the Tough Love thread should get together.
You just can't win. You're either too nice and people want "tough love" or you're blunt and you're a "bully".
0 -
Aye yai yai the sensitivity around here is ridiculous!!0
-
Be the bully.rainbowbow wrote: »diannethegeek wrote: »Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
No one is required to act as a teacher, coach, or positive influence for another person just because they signed up for a message board or app. People are here for many reasons and I don't see anything about requiring successful people to act as teachers in the TOS.
This thread and the Tough Love thread should get together.
You just can't win. You're either too nice and people want "tough love" or you're blunt and you're a "bully".
That way, when you do give good advice, you can look at them and say... quit hitting yourself.
-2 -
diannethegeek wrote: »Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
No one is required to act as a teacher, coach, or positive influence for another person just because they signed up for a message board or app. People are here for many reasons and I don't see anything about requiring successful people to act as teachers in the TOS.
This thread and the Tough Love thread should get together.
Off to find tough love thread.
And I quote-
"I've noticed there are a ton of posts on here from people who "beat themselves up" about cheating or lamenting about their lack of willpower or consistency. The vast majority of the replies/comments are what I would consider to be enabling and/or coddling. I just don't see how that's helpful... But for the many of us who need to lose weight or get healthy, I don't think minimizing or treating people with kid gloves is worth the whitespace taken up with the comments... I think people need to empower themselves and stop looking for pity.."0 -
So many flags0
-
I have a theory. And it's been proven right a number of times.
Losing weight is really hard. We find any number of reasons to quit. Sometimes we don't even realize we're doing it.
I think sometimes people start these threads, knowing the responses they'll get. And they can point to all the abuse and torture they were forced to endure at the hands of internet meanies.
Then they deactivate.
And they can always tell themselves, "I tried losing weight, but everyone was so awful. Calorie counting just doesn't work for me. Another slice of pie, please."
If what I said upsets you, prove me wrong.
^ ALL OF THIS is TRUTH.
TRUTH.
-2 -
Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
I'd be curious to see the answer to this question.
I don't think she actually meant "doesn't know HOW". It's more a case of if you grew up with little to no physical activity, didn't play outside a lot, didn't play sports, have no active role models, etc. the "where to begin" can seem overwhelming due to the multitude of exercise programs advertised. I'm sure true beginners wonder, "do I get on the treadmill? what do I do with all those machines at the gym? can I just go for a walk?", etc. That's how I took it anyway.0 -
I mean... you just... do it. Take a step. The rest follow. I guess it's a matter of, are they self directed individuals or not.
A self directed individual will not say how. They may ask which or why, but not how. A non-self directed individual will ask how, and not stick with it anyway.0 -
Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
I'd be curious to see the answer to this question.
I don't think she actually meant "doesn't know HOW". It's more a case of if you grew up with little to no physical activity, didn't play outside a lot, didn't play sports, have no active role models, etc. the "where to begin" can seem overwhelming due to the multitude of exercise programs advertised. I'm sure true beginners wonder, "do I get on the treadmill? what do I do with all those machines at the gym? can I just go for a walk?", etc. That's how I took it anyway.
But it's so simple. You start MOVING. The answer "move more" is not intended to be inflammatory. It's the truth! Try something.
Start walking. Walking becomes boring, then start running. Don't like running? Do cycling. Cardio not your thing? Try a strength program. Not sure which program is best for you? Google. Don't like strength training? TRY SOMETHING ELSE.0 -
I mean... you just... do it. Take a step. The rest follow. I guess it's a matter of, are they self directed individuals or not.
A self directed individual will not say how. They may ask which or why, but not how. A non-self directed individual will ask how, and not stick with it anyway.
Get off your high horse.
-2 -
levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »mommyrunning wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:
*I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.
*Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.
*Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.
*Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?
These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.
Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!
So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?
Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.
You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).
Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.
Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.
Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.
So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.
While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)
This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam
I especially don't understand this very common response. People being extrememly rude on other web sites is reason to be slightly less rude here?? Where is the logic in that?
And what in the world does your weight loss and bench pressing abilities have to do with anything?
This common response is because I look at forums where people tell each other to go kill themselves, and no one bats an eye but here it's like "OMG he told me I might be miscalculating my peanut butter! ABUSE" lmao
And my weight loss and success as a weightlifter means my program is working, right? People ask questions because they want to be successful right? Would you rather have advice from a successful person or a failure?
You my dear, are honestly one of the most argumentative people on these forums, and I have seen you derail countless threads and make them about you. Now, please, STOP ATTACKING ME, I FEEL SO VIOLATED
If the question isn't about how you lost weight or improved your bench press, then your success in that area is not helpful. For example, if the OP asked about a prepackaged breakfast shake and you said "You don't need prepackaged shakes and I've lost weight and improved my beand press", how would that be helpful?
Your weight loss or press ability in no way makes you qualified to know what she needs and you didn't answer her question.
I am not talking about me.0 -
hollydubs85 wrote: »Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
I'd be curious to see the answer to this question.
I don't think she actually meant "doesn't know HOW". It's more a case of if you grew up with little to no physical activity, didn't play outside a lot, didn't play sports, have no active role models, etc. the "where to begin" can seem overwhelming due to the multitude of exercise programs advertised. I'm sure true beginners wonder, "do I get on the treadmill? what do I do with all those machines at the gym? can I just go for a walk?", etc. That's how I took it anyway.
But it's so simple. You start MOVING. The answer "move more" is not intended to be inflammatory. It's the truth! Try something.
Start walking. Walking becomes boring, then start running. Don't like running? Do cycling. Cardio not your thing? Try a strength program. Not sure which program is best for you? Google. Don't like strength training? TRY SOMETHING ELSE.
I think these were responses to my comment so I will answer. I could have chosen my words better or explained it more when I said some people don't know how to exercise. I didn't mean that people don't know how to walk or run for example. I meant that some people don't know something as simple as a 20 minute walk can help them lose weight or that they don't have to run 5 miles a day and lift hundreds of lbs to get fit. Some people don't have any clue how many calories exercise burns. Maybe something like, "some people don't understand exercise well or how to use it for weight loss" would have been better.
0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »mommyrunning wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:
*I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.
*Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.
*Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.
*Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?
These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.
Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!
So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?
Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.
You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).
Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.
Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.
Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.
So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.
While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)
This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam
I especially don't understand this very common response. People being extrememly rude on other web sites is reason to be slightly less rude here?? Where is the logic in that?
And what in the world does your weight loss and bench pressing abilities have to do with anything?
This common response is because I look at forums where people tell each other to go kill themselves, and no one bats an eye but here it's like "OMG he told me I might be miscalculating my peanut butter! ABUSE" lmao
And my weight loss and success as a weightlifter means my program is working, right? People ask questions because they want to be successful right? Would you rather have advice from a successful person or a failure?
You my dear, are honestly one of the most argumentative people on these forums, and I have seen you derail countless threads and make them about you. Now, please, STOP ATTACKING ME, I FEEL SO VIOLATED
If the question isn't about how you lost weight or improved your bench press, then your success in that area is not helpful. For example, if the OP asked about a prepackaged breakfast shake and you said "You don't need prepackaged shakes and I've lost weight and improved my beand press", how would that be helpful?
Your weight loss or press ability in no way makes you qualified to know what she needs and you didn't answer her question.
I am not talking about me.
"How do I make shakes?"
'weigh 32 grams of protein powder, add water and ice and instant coffee to your taste. Blend for about 15 seconds.'
"WAAHHH THAT'S TOO HARD YOU'RE MEAN."
But you're arguing a point I didn't make. I didn't say anything to the op about my success or bench press. I was making a point to you, the point being that I bow out of giving advice because an overwhelming amount of users of MFP have attitudes like the OP and call me mean when I am not being mean at all, so I no longer try to help anyone despite the fact that I have good advice to give.
Again, you just want to argue for the sake of arguing. You "got nothin'" as the kids say.
0 -
Naw, it's because you're special, and not all of us are special like you. lol.levitateme wrote: »And my weight loss and success as a weightlifter means my program is working, right? People ask questions because they want to be successful right? Would you rather have advice from a successful person or a failure?
QFT. That poster loves to argue for very little reason.You my dear, are honestly one of the most argumentative people on these forums, and I have seen you derail countless threads and make them about you. Now, please, STOP ATTACKING ME, I FEEL SO VIOLATED
I like to discuss things, yes. Why else would I be on a forum?? Just for future reference, what would be an acceptable sized reason in your opinion?0 -
lollevitateme wrote: »I mean... you just... do it. Take a step. The rest follow. I guess it's a matter of, are they self directed individuals or not.
A self directed individual will not say how. They may ask which or why, but not how. A non-self directed individual will ask how, and not stick with it anyway.
Get off your high horse.
0 -
Be the bully.rainbowbow wrote: »diannethegeek wrote: »Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
No one is required to act as a teacher, coach, or positive influence for another person just because they signed up for a message board or app. People are here for many reasons and I don't see anything about requiring successful people to act as teachers in the TOS.
This thread and the Tough Love thread should get together.
You just can't win. You're either too nice and people want "tough love" or you're blunt and you're a "bully".
That way, when you do give good advice, you can look at them and say... quit hitting yourself.
Yes!! Please be the "bully" (but don't make me hit myself!!
). That's how I get my advice, I search what I want and find all the "bullies" advice and follow it, without actually starting a thread... and getting beat up for asking advice. 
0 -
levitateme wrote: »LEVITATEME's post above is a good example of what I mean. Not the positive feedback most people need.
It's great it takes you 45 seconds to make a shake - I don't have that time so I am looking for something I can grab from fridge and walk out door. But I didn't ask that anyway so don't comment unless you know of a good pre-made shake suggestion.
Eat less - move more - really?!?! Yes it's true but it's about the least helpful thing I have ever heard. What people on here need is something in depth - links to a website you use, a book that really turned things around, some tales from your journey that might inspire them. Eat less and move more doesn't help lay out any specific plans which is what people here need.
And "you don't need a grocery list". Do you realize people who go the store without a grocery list tend to overeat and buy fattening items they don't need. Your always better shopping with a list. Yes - many of us DO need a grocery list and don't know how to make a healthy one ourselves.
POSITIVE FEEDBACK IS WHAT WE NEED! Not just you telling us it's all so simple and acting like why can't we all just figure this out.
Why is it my job to tell you how to make a grocery list? and why is it rude of me to say you should be able to figure that out yourself? This is a website that tells you the calorie content of every single food on earth. Pick out foods you like that fit the calories provided to you and go to the store and buy them.
From now on, my canned answer to every thread will be "you are doing everything exactly right. Good job."
And then people will be like "but wait you didn't answer any of my questions" and I will be like "You're so smart and strong."
I just wonder, why do you get off so much on making people feel like crap? If we can stop all of the weak pretending for a moment - you're not trying to help, you're not trying to offer advice or wisdom or share any of your own experiences for the betterment of mankind. You're just deliberately and constantly taking craps on people who are asking for help. Whether or not they come across as annoying, lazy or stupid, I really want to know why is it so very very very important to you to let them know that you find them annoying, lazy and stupid?
I guess this is probably the Question at the Heart of the Internet: Why can't anyone just STFU if they don't have anything to add to a thread?
-2 -
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Nope, because you don't like the knowledge provided. Also, until you start paying people on here for their responses you don't have any right to dictate the terms of said responses. Quit shaming people.
0 -
This site is full of cry-babies
As I say to my children: toughen up buttercup
The people I see shedding 90% of the tears are the ones engaging in near-constant whining drama about being perceived as "mean". Either be a d-bag and accept that people are gonna think you're a d-bag, or don't be one and then people won't think you're one. Pretty easy, IMO.-2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ws7I18g6K0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 391 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 922 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions