What's your biggest weight loss / fitness pet peeve?
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This...typically at work:
"Are you supposed to eat that on your diet?"
My response: "I'm not on a diet."
Next day: "Are you supposed to eat that on your diet?"
My response: "I'm not on a diet."
Repeat.
They just don't get it...or don't try.
(facepalm)
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my old boss:
"IF YOU GET ANOREXIC YOURE FIRED!"0 -
pinklotus_56 wrote: »Yakelmeyer wrote: »People who hold themselves up on the stair master putting all the weight into their arms and none in their legs.
Haha there's that woman at the gym who's always running while holding for deal life to the treadmill bars next to her. WTF? I swear every time I go there, at least half the people are holding the bar. Makes me shake my head, really. Only assuming that they don't know that you burn way less calories that way, but my gym has free sessions with a personal trainer and it's pretty much the first thing they tell you, so... I don't get it.
I sometimes have to hold the bars and it's because I have major issues with shin splints. I do everything I'm supposed to do to prevent them but some days I still have some pain, even when just walking. Holding the bars helps with it a lot, so the days they hurt, I hold on.
Risking being labelled a concern troll here, but just want to make sure you're aware that shin splints can be caused by stress fractures (or can be indicative that you're going to develop stress fractures) in case you've never had that checked out.
If you have, just ignore me and go back to your regularly scheduled program
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Grrr. My pet peeve is that every time I start making good progress, I get hurt. And also that something ALWAYS hurts, even on my best days. One day without pain, just one....I no has it. (sorry, back went out, having emo feelings)0
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lemurcat12 wrote: »girlviernes wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
this is what I was talking about. I was saying how, when Im alone at the beach, Im not judging anyone because all I can see is how awful I look and I don't think ANYONE looks worse - and I was told that those thoughts in my head are inconsiderate to the people around me, because how I look at myself, even when not comparing to them, is inconsiderate and means I dont give a crap about other people.
The thread is too long to go back to it now, but my memory is that the genesis of this discussion is about someone going on to her fatter friend or daughter or sister (although I'd amend it to anyone else) about how monstrously fat she is and how anyone looking at her would want to vomit and how gross fat is, etc., and the fat friend/sister/daughter feeling bad and judged and then various people (including you?) jumping in and saying it's not about you, how dare you not sympathize with the thinner person feeling bad.
IMO, the speaker in that scenario (the thinner complainer) was being rude, and it's not about the other being fatter (although that does make it more obviously thoughtless), and it's not less rude if you are insecure. Among other reasons, it's not less rude if your friend is average weight or thinner than you either, maybe she's also insecure and just less prone to talk about (lots of people are insecure, after all). To say that your feeling bad about yourself gives you a free pass to ignore her feelings would be wrong and inconsiderate.
Obviously, however, thinking stuff to yourself isn't the issue, and I don't think anyone raised that.
But, in fact, I do think that people inclined to be quite judgmental with themselves about their bodies also tend to be focused on the bodies of others as something to be critical of. If you don't feel compelled to say that, I don't think it's rude (nor do I care), and I'm sure there are exceptions, but I have noticed it to be true. (Similarly, people who think it's important to dress well often are more apt to notice or be bothered by people who are slobs in their fashion choices, people who keep their houses really clean, are more likely to judge other's housekeeping, etc.) If you don't think it's terrible to have an imperfect body, that's something to take to heart with respect to yourself, though.
this is yes what i meant. i like to think of it this way.
if i wouldnt say something about a random strangers looks... like if a larger person walked past me and a friend... i wouldnt turn to my friend and say what a fat cow. because it would be rude. and i dont talk about people like that. and if my friend has extra weight even worse because of course she/he will think i think the same about them.
so why would i say it to my friend about myelf. "i am a fat cow" it is equally rude.
and really it does nobody any good anyway. if you want to talk to me about your weight or mine i am happy to talk about it in a constructive way without any fat shaming of either yourself or someone else... its not about not talking about problems. its about talking about problems without shaming people.
sometimes a dear friend's problem is that she shames herself because she feels she has no worth whatsoever because of where her experiences in life have landed her, sometimes shaming yourself out loud is a cry for help, even if passive aggressively done. If she feels she can't talk to her best friend about her struggles because her best friend is too sensitive about her own weight - how are they being friends other than in name?
Perhaps not for much longer if she keeps up with that BS :bigsmile:
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When I was 8 months pregnant, I had two different instructors/trainers tell me that I couldn't do something:NoelFigart1 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »But I get the other type of reaction to my weight too. I'm still fat - 5'3" and 175lbs. I have about 45 lbs to lose. So often times, people who are meeting me for the first time assume I'm just a fat slob who doesn't have a clue. One time I was running at a pretty good clip on the treadmill at the gym (it was nasty cold and wet outside...normally hate the treadmill), and a trainer I'd never met before came up and suggested I slow down because at my weight I could hurt myself. I just laughed at him and increased my speed. a**hole.
Dear God, save me from concern trolls!
trolls actually dont bother with the effort that would be needed to go over to someone and ask if they were okay.
1. In step class, the instructor pulled me aside and said, "I'd feel much more comfortable if you would stay off the step." *kitten*, please. I've been doing this class for years and I'm not even using the risers!
2. A trainer told me that I should not be running on the treadmill in that condition. Was worried about my heart rate. Dude, I'm wearing a heart rate monitor. Why don't you just worry about yourself?
Ugh.
I disagree with this 100%
Instructors don't troll clients.
People who show concern for 8 month pregnant people doing a high impact step aerobics class, aren't being *****es. They are concerned and may have never been pregnant and therefore don't know what you can and can't do, and they also do not know you personally - so they may not know that you can handle it just fine. Although, if they have seen your face every day for years, I do not know why they wouldn't have spoken to you about this earlier in your term, or why they wouldnt know already that you do this class constantly?
But in many instances, if an instructor sees an unfamiliar face, and they have special medical circumstances, ie being super pregnant, they are well within their rights (and possibly preventing legal liabilities) to speak with the person about whether or not they can handle a workout. In fact, it would be negligent not to do so.
I would expect a fitness professional to be a bit more educated about pregnancy - it's not a disability and pregnant women are typically okay to continue exercising especially if they were prior to pregnancy. If the class is somehow not designed for pregnant people then the instructor can sort it out before class, in collaboration with any advice the participant may have received from her doctor.
That said I've been in a yoga-ish class where the pregnant person was given an alternate pose. But then again, my favorite yoga instructors always asked if anyone had injuries or anything that needed special attention
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This...typically at work:
"Are you supposed to eat that on your diet?"
My response: "I'm not on a diet."
Next day: "Are you supposed to eat that on your diet?"
My response: "I'm not on a diet."
Repeat.
They just don't get it...or don't try.
(facepalm)
We must work at the same place lol0 -
Wait until you see the new show on TLC. "My big fat fabulous life."
All about Fativism.
....Murica!GingerbreadCandy wrote: »
Possibly, the thing that annoys me the most is when people start talking about curves when they are morbidly obese… I mean, yes, I get the whole movement behind it because I was – and still am, a big proponent of the fact that being curvy is something to be proud of (equally to any other body shape you may have) and does not mean you are fat but is just your shapes. However, the original idea has been blown so out of proportion that it is now begin used as an excuse more often than not, it seems to me.
ETA: Being happy with the body you have is fantastic, I am not making an argument against that. I am making an argument against using a catchphrase such as "real women have curves" to pretend your weight is healthy.
It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.0 -
I hate it when people ask me how many pounds I've lost. I don't mind "have you lost weight?" But so many times its followed up with "how much have you lost?" I figure most of the time people are trying to do the math to figure out how much I weigh/ used to weigh.
Also, "are you at your goal yet?" I don't know why this one bugs me, but it does.0 -
For me it'd have to be when people find out I'm a runner and they immediately respond with "oh, running is HORRIBLE for your knees. You're a runner for now, you'll be a cyclist before long." Ummmmm it's not horrible for your knees, it just depends on your body and the cross training and strengthening that you do/ mileage that you regularly log that will make the difference. And I don't really like biking... so yeah. Just let me be dorky and get excited about my new running shoes/ race that i registered for or what have you.0
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It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
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It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
Somebody, anybody, PLEASE help me shove the worms back in the can!!0 -
It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
Somebody, anybody, PLEASE help me shove the worms back in the can!!
hahaha...nope, those worms are out!0 -
It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
you automatically assumed by being thinner you're more attractive healthy and disciplined than other people.
Way to go out on some HUGE assumptions. Good job. I don't think it's I'd say "thin shamming" but come on- being thin doesn't necessarily mean ANY of those things.0 -
Maybe I should add a pet peeve about being called a worm? Although since this is my first time I guess it's just a regular ol' peeve.0
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It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
you automatically assumed by being thinner you're more attractive healthy and disciplined than other people.
Way to go out on some HUGE assumptions. Good job. I don't think it's I'd say "thin shamming" but come on- being thin doesn't necessarily mean ANY of those things.
Note my choice of verbiage..."appear"...
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It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
I hope you're kidding.
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0somuchbetter0 wrote: »
It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
Somebody, anybody, PLEASE help me shove the worms back in the can!!
hahaha...nope, those worms are out!
Mmmmmmmm...worms
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LeelooX2014 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »
It is turning into thin shaming these days. Thin women are "Skinny B*****s" or "Bags of bones". And losing weight is giving in to vanity.
Heh, another peeve of mine is people talking about 'thin shaming'. Unless it's in the context of needing hospitalization, calling someone skinny (in any culture where thin is the ideal) is ALWAYS a compliment. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad by telling you that you appear more attractive, healthy and disciplined than other girls. When someone calls you a "skinny b*", they are saying they are jealous of you which is the complete opposite of what shaming is.
Somebody, anybody, PLEASE help me shove the worms back in the can!!
hahaha...nope, those worms are out!
Mmmmmmmm...worms
First you bite the head off,
Then you suck the juice out,
Then you throw the skins away.
Oh nobody knows
How I can eat worms,
24 hours a day!
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