People just don't get it...

It seems to me that you are frustrated by their lack of support more than anything, and that is something I can understand.

I also think you should have the right to decline to go to a restaurant that you do not want to go to because the benefits of going don't outweigh the negatives. You can always invite that group on a different day to go to a restaurant that would meet your nutritional needs while you're at this stage of your training. Just like if you're at the bar with friends you should have the right to say no to having a drink.

If we want to eat something unhealthy, that's fine, but why should we have to eat something high calorie if we don't want to?

Everything in moderation...You could just admit you have no will power.

Exactly! You realize you're screwing yourself up and so you decide to take care of yourself instead, and people will then work very hard to sabotage and derail you and destroy all your hard work.

I got rid of some "friends" who were trying to do that to me in another situation. They were all happy with me when I was in an abusive relationship, but when I got rid of that loser and started dating Phil, and we got serious, they started being @$$hats, dogging on him, uninviting him from things, etc. The man who has been a wonderful part of my life and done right by me in every way, they wanted me to get rid of him. He's very sweet and a people pleaser... there's no rational reason for it. So I got rid of these "friends" instead and now Phil and I are happily married. *fist pump*

Most of my friends have learned by now that if I say I am not eating fast food or junk, I will not be moved. If they insist that the earth will explode if we don't all go to the grease pit, and I'm in a group where I can't bail on them, then I will order a cup of coffee. Period. Why are people whack like this??? It's so much more fun when Gothchiq is fat, because then we can tell her how she needs to lose weight, oh but when she does just that, we want to get her fat again so we can have someone to be skinnier than. NOPE NOPE NOPE so much nope.

beavislong wrote: »

DjinnMarie wrote: »

I doubt a place like White Castle will mind if you bring your homemade lunch along. No reason not to go and be sociable. Non fast food places tend to be more strict, but often have soup and salads as well.

True and I have done that buy my lunch today needed microwaved and I looked at White Castles menu and didn't see anything that I felt would fit into my nutritional goals today.

When I get to maintenance mode it will be much easier to go out to eat and stay within my boundaries.

Microwave before you go? Get a real thermos brand thermos. It stays hot all day! Best investment ever.

I see what others are saying, but if these are your "good" friends and you spend additional time with them, it's not a social issue. And I don't think you should have to suck it up and just go sit with them or have a salad (nothing more miserable than a side salad from a fast food restaurant).

Just tell them you appreciate the invite but you can't. When they joke about you running extra miles, joke back.

You don't have to change your habits. But in their defense, chances are that they invite you because they think they'll look like jerks if they don't extend an invite to you. Once a week Make a counter suggestion of a place where you know you can eat right and they can eat what they like as well.

terar21 wrote: »

I see what others are saying, but if these are your "good" friends and you spend additional time with them, it's not a social issue. And I don't think you should have to suck it up and just go sit with them or have a salad (nothing more miserable than a side salad from a fast food restaurant).

Just tell them you appreciate the invite but you can't. When they joke about you running extra miles, joke back.

You don't have to change your habits. But in their defense, chances are that they invite you because they think they'll look like jerks if they don't extend an invite to you. Once a week Make a counter suggestion of a place where you know you can eat right and they can eat what they like as well.

This. It could be worse, they could NOT invite you anywhere.

My family does this all the time..... "Come out to dinner with us", "don't diet on the weekends", "it's only one meal".... It's annoying when it's constantly happening. It's hard to not get derailed when your always hearing that you shouldn't be dieting. I started eating before going to family get togethers and that way I could order something small so I was satisfied and didn't have to hear all jabber about not eating or seeing the fam

Here's the thing. People at my office are always bringing in junk food, going out for fast food, etc. And when they offer me junk I don't want (cookies, donuts, candies) or invite me out to KFC, I say "No, thanks." Sometimes they offer again, and then I say, "No, I'm good, thanks" or "I'm going to eat in the office today."

Since I don't talk about what I am and am not eating, and how many calories yada yada yada, and how it's junk, and how it's got no nutrition, and how I'm going to run a marathon and have a six-pack, no one gets defensive or angry or questions me or continues to try to foist things on me. They shrug and go on their way. I see the same pattern in our office with the other people who are very careful with what they eat but who don't talk about it much.

But there are others who are always talking about their diets and exercise routines - those are the ones who people tease about what they are and aren't eating. Plus they're very tedious to be around.

No one can create drama around your food choices unless you help them do so.

If the issue is really around the social event (e.g. last week when I went to a friend's pub night), then go to the event. Either pick the best choice off the menu (I had a small steak with plain steamed veggies and a plain salad), or have a cheat meal, or don't eat food there. No one cares how or what you eat. They only care about how you make them feel about what they choose to eat.

kimmywilliams1110 wrote: »

My family does this all the time..... "Come out to dinner with us", "don't diet on the weekends", "it's only one meal".... It's annoying when it's constantly happening. It's hard to not get derailed when your always hearing that you shouldn't be dieting. I started eating before going to family get togethers and that way I could order something small so I was satisfied and didn't have to hear all jabber about not eating or seeing the fam

Honestly, it's not that hard to be flexible while dieting. Every restaurant I have ever been to (not fast food) offers some sort of salad/salad bar, chicken, fish or even steak and plenty of side veggies. Just because you go to a restaurant doesn't mean you automatically have to order nachos for an appetizer and fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

My only complaint is the waste on the serving size. I wish they would let me order off the senior or kids menu. But oh well. Small price to pay for family and friend time. It could be worse, they could not invite you anywhere.

TavistockToad wrote: »

Each to their own... I run so I can eat burgers!

Everyone always freaks out if someone doesn't go out to eat bad food every time they are invited or every time they crave it.
Maybe they already ate out a couple times that week, maybe they already ate most of their calories for the day, maybe they know they are going to be going out a bunch on the weekend.
I have had pizza, burgers, chips, ice cream etc while easily losing weight. But at least SOME of the time you have to PLAN for it. Otherwise, if you just overeat all the time you are not gonna be losing no weight.

Yes, he could have just gone and not eaten, but sometimes it can be difficult to not eat when it's right in front of you and he wasn't feeling strong that day.

TavistockToad wrote: »

Each to their own... I run so I can eat burgers!

Ditto! (My current passion is the Melt's 1/4 lb Burgers. Can't do them on a regular day, but after a long run..yummmm

@auntchellebelle‌ , I also like your approach..everyone's happy.

beavislong wrote: »

JeffseekingV wrote: »

I est your weight at 190lbs. If you run 90 min (10 min mile) for 9 miles, that's close to 1300 calories. You mean to tell me you can't fit White Castle in today?

Actually I'm 160 and my run will be under 8:00 per mile. Per my heart rate monitor I burn around 100 calories per mile so I will be burning around 900 calories. I have planned my day and eating around my run and want to fuel my body properly and also reap the caloric deficit of my exercise. Technically I could have fit White Castle in. That wasn't the exact point of my post. It was about the principle.

My run will be be far better fueled by the lean protein, whole grains and fruit I ate today than by anything I could have eaten at White Castle.

Hey now, there are Olympic athletes that eat tons of McDonald's chicken nuggets to fuel their performances.

I do understand, with lower calories, one has to be more diligent to hit macros, etc and between white castle or those things, you'd get a better nutrient profiles but assuming you're getting your nutrient intake, white castle wouldn't hinder you.

ETA : unless...white castle doesn't agree with you. I've heard things and stuff

I wouldn't have gone either, but then again I loathe White Castles. Everything from the smell to the food makes me nauseous.

But I do personally hate food pushers. If I want something I will have it, if I say no respect that and let's move on.