People just don't get it...
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I totally get where you're coming from! I work with people who eat out every day. (Today is Chipotle!) They are all young, single and work out constantly. I'm a married woman and considerably older and I run, but I'm overweight. They invite me all the time. I choose when I will go with them and watch what I eat carefully. WHITE CASTLE? Nope. Not a place I would eat ordinarily, so I give you credit for sticking with your program. When you are done, you won't even remember0
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Next time ask them how many miles they are gonna run to burn off the lard in those White Castles!!!0
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anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »Capt_Apollo wrote: »anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »Muddy_Yogi wrote: »You could just admit you have no will power.
Why is that the go to opinion for some people on this site?
in the end, we are ultimately responsible for what we do to our bodies.anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »Muddy_Yogi wrote: »You could just admit you have no will power.
Why is that the go to opinion for some people on this site?
because admitting that is one of the first steps to making a real difference and many people would like to skip facing that reality - even though facing it is the best possible idea.
and we all know that recognizing a problem is the first step to correcting it!
I don't disagree.
So...why would anyone assume that is the OP's (or anyone's) problem whenever they say something like this?
If someone refuses to go near a restaurant with friends to spend time together for a social outing because they cannot guarantee that they won't eat badly, it seems as though they dont trust themselves to make the right decisions and would sacrifice time with people they care about instead.
we see this all the time on MFP
"I cant spend time with my girlfriends anymore because they go to restaurants that serve unhealthy options."
whereas someone who spends time and effort working on building their willpower would say something along the lines of, 'my friends and i are going out to eat tonight, and they want fast food so Im eating before I go out! that way if Im tempted, I wont overdo it!'
the connection to lack of willpower is made by noting whether an OP is scared of themselves overdoing it. if you are scared you are going to go nuts, it's because you don't trust your self-control. And not having enough self-control is hand in hand with not having enough willpower.
that's all.
there's also nothing wrong with diagnosing yourself as willpowerless!!! sucking at something is the first step toward being kinda okay at something!
no one can look down at you for being honest with yourself either :flowerforyou:
I see what you're saying. But that's not at all the case with this guy. He's said he does eat out. He's not refusing to go to restaurants and scared to be near certain foods. And he said he's spends other time with them. He's just annoyed they constantly ask him to go eat at certain places.
I have lunch food ready to eat a work daily, when someone comes in and says "lunch on the boss, let's order Chinese," I do get a moment of frustration. Not because I can't find something appropriate to eat at the restaurant or don't have the willpower to sit around certain food; but because I already planned everything out and it's annoying to go switching up your diary and trying to figure out how to hit macros. Luckily it doesn't happen that often so I just adjust. But if it was a constant, I can see where the frustration comes from.
Not everyone's problem is willpower. Some people just prefer to keep what they planned.
If you expand the previous posts, you'll see that the question I was answering wasSo...why would anyone assume that is the OP's (or anyone's) problem whenever they say something like this?
and that my response to the actual OP waswell done on standing up to your personal brand of temptation and doing what you personally need to do to stay on the program you have committed to!
so I hope that clears that up. I didn't say the OP had no willpower. I said why some people might make a connection between situations like this one, and lack of or low willpower (neither of which is awful or unfixable).
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TimothyFish wrote: »beavislong wrote: »My friends were all going to White Castle today(insert any restaurant on any given day) and were giving me grief for not joining them. I looked at the nutrtition and was like no way. It is horrible there. I can eat my homemade low sodium soup, my veggies and my orange and have 5 times as much food for less than the calories of two sliders not to mention the nutrition benefits. They are like well you can run an extra few miles tonight. Yes, I could but I already have 9 miles planned as a part of my marathon training.
Oh and all of the people going are overweight. Wonder why?
Sorry just ranting. Stay vigilant friends!
It isn't about food, it's about friendship. People don't ask you to eat because they want you to eat, but because they want to spend time with you. Tell them that you'll go, but you won't eat because it would mess up what you are doing for training.
This is how I handle it. I try to focus on the friends/family I'm with, and on the conversation and good vibes. I pass on the food for the same reason you stated. I no longer feel I have to explain or apologize. I made it through the holidays without gaining a pound --that's a nice change for me-- yet still enjoyed the gatherings and get-togethers. It just takes a little mind-tweaking to get there.0 -
anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »To me it doesn't seem like the OP is scared. It seems like he is annoyed that his friends aren't respecting his boundaries. I am annoyed that some people on this forum want to jump straight to "the OP has no will power"
no idea, I answered your hypothetical question about what signs tell you someone (anyone, not necessarily this OP, you specified) might be struggling with willpower. I didnt say this guy had none.
my response to the OP, word for word, was:well done on standing up to your personal brand of temptation and doing what you personally need to do to stay on the program you have committed to!
Yes, I wasn't specifically talking about you (although the way I worded it does seem like that). My apologies, I will try to be more concise
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anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »To me it doesn't seem like the OP is scared. It seems like he is annoyed that his friends aren't respecting his boundaries. I am annoyed that some people on this forum want to jump straight to "the OP has no will power"
Same here. And, asking WHY he "can't" eat at White Castle. He CAN if he chose to. He chose NOT to. Why question that?
I didnt say the OP was scared. I answered a hypothetical question she posted about 'any person' and then she responded that my answer didn't fit the OP and then I facedesked.
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Yeah peer pressure sucks. My father of all people, will offere me a beer when I get home from work (they watch my kids for us all day) and if I say no that's okay, he'll say Oh come on, you can have just one.
Yes, I know I could have one, I just don't really want one. It's not worth the 150 calories.
You just have to stay strong and stay firm. NO THANKS.0 -
I'm not so sure it's the friends that are the issue. Sounds more like the OP has some kind of martyrdom complex.
Wow, I would say you still need new friends. This is not normal behavior for real friendship.Exactly! You realize you're screwing yourself up and so you decide to take care of yourself instead, and people will then work very hard to sabotage and derail you and destroy all your hard work.
I got rid of some "friends" who were trying to do that to me in another situation. They were all happy with me when I was in an abusive relationship, but when I got rid of that loser and started dating Phil, and we got serious, they started being @$$hats, dogging on him, uninviting him from things, etc. The man who has been a wonderful part of my life and done right by me in every way, they wanted me to get rid of him. He's very sweet and a people pleaser... there's no rational reason for it. So I got rid of these "friends" instead and now Phil and I are happily married. *fist pump*
Most of my friends have learned by now that if I say I am not eating fast food or junk, I will not be moved. If they insist that the earth will explode if we don't all go to the grease pit, and I'm in a group where I can't bail on them, then I will order a cup of coffee. Period. Why are people whack like this??? It's so much more fun when Gothchiq is fat, because then we can tell her how she needs to lose weight, oh but when she does just that, we want to get her fat again so we can have someone to be skinnier than. NOPE NOPE NOPE so much nope.
Thumbs up.
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Why in the world did people flag the OP's post? This is getting out of hand.
OP, I'm with you. I hate having to spend a lot of calories on something I just don't feel like eating. It doesn't mean I don't eat burgers or cheesecake or pizza, just that I do it when *I* want to. I don't enjoy food if I feel obligated to eat it because there's no other option, and when it's a high calorie food, it makes me grumpy...
I'm not familiar with the options at White Castle though, so I don't know if I'd want to spend the calories on that or not.0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »dougpconnell219 wrote: »You know what I find ridiculous...
My gym is planet fitness. On the first Monday of every month, they have pizza night.
Wtf? This is a gym... Why are you push pizza on me? Do we have black tar heron Friday?
Because you can incorporate pizza into your diet and still lose weight/be healthy. It's all about moderation.
Yes, but serving it AT the gym is beyond ridiculous. But, they are a for-profit business, so whatever it takes to get memberships and people in the door they'll do it.0 -
anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »Capt_Apollo wrote: »anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »Muddy_Yogi wrote: »You could just admit you have no will power.
Why is that the go to opinion for some people on this site?
in the end, we are ultimately responsible for what we do to our bodies.anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »Muddy_Yogi wrote: »You could just admit you have no will power.
Why is that the go to opinion for some people on this site?
because admitting that is one of the first steps to making a real difference and many people would like to skip facing that reality - even though facing it is the best possible idea.
and we all know that recognizing a problem is the first step to correcting it!
I don't disagree.
So...why would anyone assume that is the OP's (or anyone's) problem whenever they say something like this?
If someone refuses to go near a restaurant with friends to spend time together for a social outing because they cannot guarantee that they won't eat badly, it seems as though they dont trust themselves to make the right decisions and would sacrifice time with people they care about instead.
we see this all the time on MFP
"I cant spend time with my girlfriends anymore because they go to restaurants that serve unhealthy options."
whereas someone who spends time and effort working on building their willpower would say something along the lines of, 'my friends and i are going out to eat tonight, and they want fast food so Im eating before I go out! that way if Im tempted, I wont overdo it!'
the connection to lack of willpower is made by noting whether an OP is scared of themselves overdoing it. if you are scared you are going to go nuts, it's because you don't trust your self-control. And not having enough self-control is hand in hand with not having enough willpower.
that's all.
there's also nothing wrong with diagnosing yourself as willpowerless!!! sucking at something is the first step toward being kinda okay at something!
no one can look down at you for being honest with yourself either :flowerforyou:
I see what you're saying. But that's not at all the case with this guy. He's said he does eat out. He's not refusing to go to restaurants and scared to be near certain foods. And he said he's spends other time with them. He's just annoyed they constantly ask him to go eat at certain places.
I have lunch food ready to eat a work daily, when someone comes in and says "lunch on the boss, let's order Chinese," I do get a moment of frustration. Not because I can't find something appropriate to eat at the restaurant or don't have the willpower to sit around certain food; but because I already planned everything out and it's annoying to go switching up your diary and trying to figure out how to hit macros. Luckily it doesn't happen that often so I just adjust. But if it was a constant, I can see where the frustration comes from.
Not everyone's problem is willpower. Some people just prefer to keep what they planned.
THIS!0 -
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I don't think this is a post about White Castle. The OP said that we can fill in the blank with other similar options. He didn't want to go so he didn't go. He's not attached to them from the hip. Hopefully, they enjoyed their burgers and had a great time.
I think this is a non-issue. Some people inadvertantly food push and others do it intentionally. I don't see why that really matters. If you don't want it, don't eat it. If you want it, eat it. I doubt I would go to a restaurant with my own lunch (again, why?) Won't there be other lunches after the training or when the OP can plan for it? Perhaps I am a little cold but I wouldn't let anyone pressure me into going somewhere if I didn't want to go. If I'm not eating burgers why am I going to White Castle? I'll catch you later. WTH?0 -
OMG - I hear you!!! Yes, I've noticed that White Castle (and most any other restaurant) typically is SOOO not food journal friendly. And you're absolutely right - you can have your own food or something else and 5x more of it and better nutritional numbers for the same amount of calories!!
My sister keeps swearing that all the working out gets her so many extra calories. I keep reminding her that unless she's training for a marathon (like you are) or doing something like P90X (like my husband), then she has to be careful about what she has for those "extra calories".
When I was looking for a gym to go to, there was one right next door to a Dairy Queen. It wasn't going to help if I burned 250 calories at the gym to turn around and have a 350 calorie blizzard, and it was going to take a lot more time to burn that off then there was left in my day! (LOL - hope that made sense!!)0 -
beavislong wrote: »My friends were all going to White Castle today(insert any restaurant on any given day) and were giving me grief for not joining them. I looked at the nutrtition and was like no way. It is horrible there. I can eat my homemade low sodium soup, my veggies and my orange and have 5 times as much food for less than the calories of two sliders not to mention the nutrition benefits. They are like well you can run an extra few miles tonight. Yes, I could but I already have 9 miles planned as a part of my marathon training.
Sorry just ranting. Stay vigilant friends!
if you can incorporate it into your day hit your macros/micro/calorie targets then it is not that bad ...
and one lunch at whitecastle is not going to ruin your progress..
have not read the rest of the responses in this thread0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »dougpconnell219 wrote: »You know what I find ridiculous...
My gym is planet fitness. On the first Monday of every month, they have pizza night.
Wtf? This is a gym... Why are you push pizza on me? Do we have black tar heron Friday?
Because you can incorporate pizza into your diet and still lose weight/be healthy. It's all about moderation.
Yes, but serving it AT the gym in beyond ridiculous. But, they are a for-profit business, so whatever it takes to get memberships and people in the door they'll do it.
May be ridiculous, but really, all things in moderation, even if it is served at a gym. I think people can eat pizza and still stay within healthy calorie amounts. Moderation is how we can achieve weight loss and, hopefully, sustain the loss
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anaisbutterfly7 wrote: »To me it doesn't seem like the OP is scared. It seems like he is annoyed that his friends aren't respecting his boundaries. I am annoyed that some people on this forum want to jump straight to "the OP has no will power"
Same here. And, asking WHY he "can't" eat at White Castle. He CAN if he chose to. He chose NOT to. Why question that?
I didnt say the OP was scared. I answered a hypothetical question she posted about 'any person' and then she responded that my answer didn't fit the OP and then I facedesked.
Oh, my post wasn't directed to you. I knew what you meant and what question you were answering. Sorry if it appeared that way!0 -
So you would rather miss time with your friends than to live life? This is about learning moderation so that you can enjoy a healthy life. You could have chosen to go with them and enjoy their companionship and made conscientious choices off the menu.0
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I understand your frustration 100%! I would love to go out with my friends more and eat since that's the "social" thing to do, but it's a shame so many places have yet to offer more nutritious options! What a shame our society places so much emphasis on feel-good food rather than the other wonderful aspects of life, such as going for a walk. Now I know the weather isn't always perfect, but my friends never seem excited about hikes, only going out to eat .-.0
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I have lunch food ready to eat a work daily, when someone comes in and says "lunch on the boss, let's order Chinese," I do get a moment of frustration. - terar
Your comment gave me a flashback. I managed an office where nearly everyone had a dietary restriction of one kind. I was also trying to change up the ingrained culture and get them to socialize more. So I was implementing potlucks, fun lunches, that sort of thing.
You'd think I was planning D-day. I had a Sikh (vegetarian), a Muslim (no pork), and a Crohn's disease sufferer (practically nothing but plain macaroni). I also got protests that potluck took too much planning. Could they just pool the money and order in? We finally settled on vegetarian pizza and my Crohn's brought her own food.
I think it is important not to ridicule people's food choices, or to diminish them if they bow out of a social event. There may be reasons none of us knows.0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »dougpconnell219 wrote: »You know what I find ridiculous...
My gym is planet fitness. On the first Monday of every month, they have pizza night.
Wtf? This is a gym... Why are you push pizza on me? Do we have black tar heron Friday?
Because you can incorporate pizza into your diet and still lose weight/be healthy. It's all about moderation.
Yes, but serving it AT the gym in beyond ridiculous. But, they are a for-profit business, so whatever it takes to get memberships and people in the door they'll do it.
May be ridiculous, but really, all things in moderation, even if it is served at a gym. I think people can eat pizza and still stay within healthy calorie amounts. Moderation is how we can achieve weight loss and, hopefully, sustain the loss
It's hard for me to workout when Im surrounded by overly powerful smells, whether it is perfume or pizza.
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »So you would rather miss time with your friends than to live life? This is about learning moderation so that you can enjoy a healthy life. You could have chosen to go with them and enjoy their companionship and made conscientious choices off the menu.
Exactly. I think the people who say "so get new friends" must not have very good friends, or must not think that they matter as people all that much.
Imagine it the other way: Say one of your very best friends announced "guys, I'm starting a new ___ program today and therefore can no longer hang out with you or see you anymore unless you're willing to change your lifestyle and join me". You'd be hurt and upset, right? Rightfully so.
Lose weight because it makes you happier, healthier and stronger. Don't do it to push the people and things you love out of your life.0 -
OP said he'd rather eat his food vs White Castle. I didn't see where he didn't LIKE the taste of it. Not really worth the 5 pages since he already stated what he was going to do and is just venting.0
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snowflake930 wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »dougpconnell219 wrote: »You know what I find ridiculous...
My gym is planet fitness. On the first Monday of every month, they have pizza night.
Wtf? This is a gym... Why are you push pizza on me? Do we have black tar heron Friday?
Because you can incorporate pizza into your diet and still lose weight/be healthy. It's all about moderation.
Yes, but serving it AT the gym in beyond ridiculous. But, they are a for-profit business, so whatever it takes to get memberships and people in the door they'll do it.
May be ridiculous, but really, all things in moderation, even if it is served at a gym. I think people can eat pizza and still stay within healthy calorie amounts. Moderation is how we can achieve weight loss and, hopefully, sustain the loss
It's hard for me to workout when Im surrounded by overly powerful smells, whether it is perfume or pizza.
BO must be a real problem for you then.
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When I lost weight and got fit, I did end up having to cull my real life friends list a bit. Those who based their social lives entirely around overeating, lying on the couch for 86 hours a weekend and very loudly moaning and groaning about anything that required putting on pants and gosh forbid asking them to leave the house.
but I didnt stop hanging out with them and being their friend because I was worried about being tempted to eat or live like them - I did it because it was a turn off and I didn't want to be associated with them and if I wanted a stronger, healthier life, I was going to have to leave some people behind that had different priorities.
We've all grown out of friends before. I doubt many people are still besties with whats-her-name from 1st grade. It's not atrocious, just people change and naturally pull away from each other. When you become friends with someone, there is no contract saying you're never allowed to move on.
If you are surrounded by people with different priorities than yours, or even opposite priorities, sometimes they become less of a priority.0 -
That used to happen to me...now my friends/coworkers know better. They are at the point where if people bring food in, my friends at work will point out when there are healthy choices, knowing I don't even go over to the food table otherwise.
I have found, that on the few occasions I did eat fast food etc, not only are the calories very high, but you don't even stay full for very long-so it's a double whammy...you ate a ton more calories than you wanted to, AND you are hungry again later, so either eating more calories, or uncomfortable from being hungry. Personally I'd just rather have my healthy balanced food and feel satisfied 0 -
I would be pretty pissed if they were serving pizza at my gym. Don't they also do bagels at Planet Fitness? Honestly, I think they're a ridiculous gym. They don't even have barbells.snowflake930 wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »dougpconnell219 wrote: »You know what I find ridiculous...
My gym is planet fitness. On the first Monday of every month, they have pizza night.
Wtf? This is a gym... Why are you push pizza on me? Do we have black tar heron Friday?
Because you can incorporate pizza into your diet and still lose weight/be healthy. It's all about moderation.
Yes, but serving it AT the gym in beyond ridiculous. But, they are a for-profit business, so whatever it takes to get memberships and people in the door they'll do it.
May be ridiculous, but really, all things in moderation, even if it is served at a gym. I think people can eat pizza and still stay within healthy calorie amounts. Moderation is how we can achieve weight loss and, hopefully, sustain the loss
It's hard for me to workout when Im surrounded by overly powerful smells, whether it is perfume or pizza.
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Phoenix_Down wrote: »I love white castle and I'm not overweight. Odd.
Eat what you enjoy and get new friends if it bothers you that they like to eat fast food and would like to spend time with you while enjoying said foods. The fact they are overweight is irrelevant.
I didn't see anything about his friends being overweight.
EDT: NVM... he must've removed it from his original post. My Bad.0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »snowflake930 wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »dougpconnell219 wrote: »You know what I find ridiculous...
My gym is planet fitness. On the first Monday of every month, they have pizza night.
Wtf? This is a gym... Why are you push pizza on me? Do we have black tar heron Friday?
Because you can incorporate pizza into your diet and still lose weight/be healthy. It's all about moderation.
Yes, but serving it AT the gym in beyond ridiculous. But, they are a for-profit business, so whatever it takes to get memberships and people in the door they'll do it.
May be ridiculous, but really, all things in moderation, even if it is served at a gym. I think people can eat pizza and still stay within healthy calorie amounts. Moderation is how we can achieve weight loss and, hopefully, sustain the loss
It's hard for me to workout when Im surrounded by overly powerful smells, whether it is perfume or pizza.
BO must be a real problem for you then.
I havent smelled BO in years. I go to a gym with a really clean clientele and I dont have any issues with food or perfume smells there.
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