How to motivate my girlfriend to exercise?

It'll be hard for her to leave her comfort zone. I'm very early on in my attempts to lose weight and the hardest thing I've found is that eating healthy and cutting calories (I won't be going out running til the nights get lighter) was uncomfortable. I was used to stodgy comfort food, chocolate, and wine, and that was comfortable. Cutting out all those things I liked and trying to learn to like other stuff was hard and before I started, felt like it would be really rubbish and I would always be hungry/craving.

Sometimes it only takes a week of trying to change your mind about it. The thing is, it'll be in her own time that she does that, if ever. I hope she does. It feels good, improves your energy levels and even after a few days of cutting rubbish you feel less bloated and sluggish. Maybe that'll be all she needs to motivate her to continue. I hope she decides to move forward with you. Good luck!

I'm heavily into fitness and my partner of 6 yrs is not . we still have a lot more in common he respects my luv of fitness and we get along fine. if her weight is a problem cook healthier meals , take her for a walk or a hike, bike riding doesn't have to be the gym, get a dvd workout and do this in your home and it's just you and her , make it fun for her . Goodluck you sound like nice guy who wants to work it out

Stop asking strangers for relationship advice. I know I'd be rather sore to learn that my significant other was asking Joe Shmoe for advice on how to deal with me (even if I'm a huge pain in the a**).

I am in a relationship like this. We have been living together for the last 5+ years. When we first met, I was at my lightest at the time, which was 170lbs. I quickly gained weight when me and him moved in together, as we ate the same things and the same amounts! Ballooned up to 250lbs, mainly due to over eating and under exercising, possibly some medications.
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+ Today, I have lost 83lbs. He does not work out, or eat healthy. If anything, he has gained about 50lbs. Basically - I work out, weigh/measure my foods. I have a huge interest in fitness and nutrition, and he supports that. I support his interest in other things.
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+ I have never pushed it on him. When he asks, I will support and encourage. If he falls off the wagon - I leave it alone. He has his exercises that he does like, but does not do them often (biking, badminton) so of course, if he says he wants to go do something that involves exercise I will always say yes...otherwise, I do it alone and do not hassel him to get involved.
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+ With food, basically we eat the same as we used to except I eat less. We will eat a protein, a complex carb, then I will put a veg of my choice. He may or may not have his veg of choice. If we have something like spaghetti, I will eat the spaghetti...just less.
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+ I still love him and his appearance just the same as day one. I still have a strong attraction to him. He may feel insecure with me getting in shape and losing weight...but he doesnt show it if that is the case!
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I often recall a quote I read once regarding this exact thing. "(s)He had me at my worst, so (s)he deserves me at my best!"

It sounds like with your mind set (pushing it, trying to change her, attraction decreasing) that the relationship is going to die out sooner or later. You need to accept the fact that she may never change. Can you live with this? She might also lose weight, but gain it all back one day. Can you still be with her? If not, you need to find someone who has the same interests/values as you.

sandown12 wrote: »

You changed not her
They say don't be with someone you want to change
If it was the other way round she was healthy & fit them let herself go then you could complain
Tbh she may feel daunted at starting I know week 1-2 of a healthy change us daunting so maybe slow steps are needed
Good luck

I agree, sounds more like you changed and now you are judging her and making her feel not good enough. Calling her lazy when she is probably doing what you probably used to do together all the time for fun is mean. Sounds like the best thing she could do is not be in a relationship with you if you are going to be so judgemental and unsupportive towards her. You need to have a look at yourself and your attitude and figure out if you are good for her.

Agreed with others on here that you can't motivate people to do this, they have to motivate themselves. For me it was a breakup of a long term relationship, 4 months late, i had lost 3.5 stone and was one of the fittest people at the circuit training at used to go to. I worry about my little bro as he must be hovering around 20 stone (at my heaviest i was 16.5 stone, I am 6ft 3, hes about 5,11) but if he doesn't make a change, I can't help it. I have never once brought it up, i just invite him to my gym, which he likes and say no more on the subject. But the changes need to be bigger than gym once per week and absolutely no change in diet, but hurting his feelings won't help, so I just need to wait and hope he makes the change, if he doesn't, thats up to him. Hes happy, has plenty of friends, does well at college, so it's not a massive issue yet.

I would say, you can still cook healthy and not pre-portion meals which would almost definitely seem insulting to a lady imo, and to anybody who cares about their figure tbh. I would get a book called 'food for fitness' and another called 'food that makes muscle' (men's health book). Both these have delicious meals in them. Some that me and my missus recently discovered are the Hairy Bikers books, Hairy Dieters. Delicious foods, filling, and not tiny looking meals. Offer to cook meals, but absolutely do not mention portions, or calories, or anything else. And simply enjoy nice food with your lady. As most have said, she will choose whether or not to exercise, so you need to either accept her as she is, or sadly split. If you want to change yourself that's great, but you can't wish change upon another.

Hyperthyroidism won't help her with this either, it will probably make her more self conscious, and also will affect her body and brain chemistry, and unhappy body and mind, will not be willing to go out and exert itself as much as a healthy one.

I would say health problems are not a thing to worry about in early 20s unless she is quite severly overweight. I know at 20 I was still finding myself, and until I hit 24 hadn't really. Time is all you can give here, and patience.

Hope this helps

Just break up.




























I can't believe no one has said that yet.

I have to address the medical issue here since you say she is dealing with hypothyroidism.
That comes with depression, weight gain, fatigue, and so on.

At the very least you need to stop pressuring her to exercise and lose weight. That has to be her choice.

This will be a lifelong struggle for her. If this is something you cannot deal with, then you have to be honest with her and yourself. Torturing each other is not a healthy way to live for either of you.

kristen6350 wrote: »

MrM27 wrote: »

kristen6350 wrote: »

You don't. You just love her the way she is and if you can't do that (if she doesn't chose to exercise) get out of the relationship. Why on earth did you think this was even an appropriate question to ask? That poor girlfriend of yours doesn't deserve this. If I knew my BF was on this site telling people I'm lazy I'd kick him so hard where the sun don't shine and tell him to get the heck out of my house.

I wouldn't say that asking the question isn't appropriate. I would agree that his mind frame on the whole subject isn't what it should be but it isn't as if he put up pictures of his girlfriend and said "I'm not attracted to her because she's overweight".

If something like your partner asking for blind relationship questions is going to cause you to kick him and throw him out then you have a long road ahead of you. Relationships and people aren't perfect.

Seriously? I really want to let this go but can't. What a way to start out a Monday morning. If my BF can't ask me or tell me what he wants from me, reasonably, without posting it on a public weight loss forum, our relationship is over in my eyes. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I respect your opinion of my relationship, but you have nerve sir.

He said he thought she was LAZY on a public form. That's grounds for divorce in my world. Maybe your's is different. Just because he likes something doesn't mean she has to. Just like every other person coming on here complaining that their spouse or significant other doesn't support them because they don't follow what they are newly doing. Just because you like something and are into something doesn't mean your SO has to also. Ever. My boyfriend loves sitting around playing video games. He doesn't expect me to do it. He's not that fond of shopping. I don't make him do it because I like it. Same thing. I've said my peace, I'm out. This really woke me up and got me going this morning. Thanks OP.

Dude, she is lazy. Many of us were and are at some point. Truth hurts sometimes. Deal with it.