Increasing calories defriended for low intake

Aviva92 wrote: »

i'm a special snowflake. mr rogers told me so.

Yes you are!

MarciBkonTrk wrote: »

It just never occurred to me that what a person eats or doesn't eat would be a reason to unfriend someone. Which again comes back to the "different strokes for different folks."

I don't know where I draw the line myself, but I'm wondering if you've been exposed yet to people on your FL doing things that seemed unhealthy or which you felt you would be complicit in if you were to support it--or encouraging others to behave in unhealthy ways. Because I have, and I don't necessarily want my FL to be a place where I get into debates with people (the forums are for that!), but I also feel deeply uncomfortable if my silence or failure to spend the energy needed to explain why the behavior worries me is perceived as support for it. I get conflicted sometimes about the right thing to do, so I'm quite sympathetic to those who say that they'd rather have the list be filled with people on the same page about some basic stuff. (And, frankly, people get annoyed if you criticize their approach, so they might also prefer not having someone whose views are so counter to their own.)

I typically don't unfriend people for stuff like that (I just try not to support it by not liking it, so long as the person is not encouraging unhealthy behavior by others), but I also don't have issues that could be triggered and I also feel a lot more comfortable with that when the person is well above the minimum age for MFP, and worse when it's someone quite young. So for all of these reasons I'm quite sympathetic to the various approaches to the problem and don't agree with those who seem to be writing it off as mean or unsupportive. Arguably it's more supportive than not saying something, and anyway simply wanting to avoid moral dilemmas when interacting with MFP seems not unreasonable also.

Don't sweat it. People friend or defriending me all the time. Good riddance. ✌️

obscuremusicreference wrote: »

I've done the opposite--let go of two people who made comments on days that I was over by a few hundred calories. Guess they didn't see the day before, when I was eating 1100ish calories and had exercise calories. I view my diary as a weekly thing and if you're going to try and rub my nose in the days that I'm in the red you need to scram. I have issues with people negatively commenting on my food IRL and I will not tolerate it online either.

If anyone has ever unfriended me, I've been too oblivious to notice.

It's a double edged sword for sure. I don't post my food diary mainly because I really don't look at anyone else's food log. I prefer getting ideas and advice directly from the community rather than one person's preferences for daily food intake. But I'm with you, if 've been unfriended by someone I've probably been too oblivious to notice. I think we all have a lot to learn from one another. This is why I like MFP so much.

I don't keep track of how many friends I have. If they leave it's their loss. Next! Why does what someone else does bother other folks so much. Control issues???

I don't think it's anyone business what others eat. That is not why I want friends. I am 76 and I find that now that I am older, I don't eat as much as I used to. I am slowly losing weight, not because I am eating less, but because I have changed my diet. Sometimes I manage 1200 and sometimes I don't. I think the idea is to encourage the person to keep working toward a better way of living, not deciding what YOU think they should be eating. There is some discussions about just how much a person should eat, not everyone can fit into the same box. To take a person off your friend list because YOU don't like their diet is a bit selfish and makes the other person discouraged. I think it is up to their doctor to advise them, not someone on the internet that doesn't even know them.

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

Serah87 wrote: »

I have no problem deleting people eating less than 1200 calories.

Some people have medical reasons for eating at/below 1200. I certainly do, though I eat very well/carefully and absolutely do not have an eating disorder.

And some people like I eat 1200 calories ( or sometimes a bit less ) because we are really short ( in my case under 5 feet) and because of age . I am going on 70 and being so short, I really don't need more than 1200 calories.
And since I eat all natural food, I usually eat more than the average person who eats several hundred calories more, but indulges in high cal-low nutrition food.