Increasing calories defriended for low intake
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Thanks yes the person said I was too low I did have a target of 1000 one day due to entering a goal of wanting to lose two pounds in a week but I soon thereafter changed it as I eat a min of 1400 calories I like food
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Who knows what I could have triggered0
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Thanks yes the person said I was too low I did have a target of 1000 one day due to entering a goal of wanting to lose two pounds in a week but I soon thereafter changed it as I eat a min of 1400 calories I like food
if one day of low calories got her to defriend you, then good riddance to her.0 -
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If someone is consistently eating under 1200 calories, I have no problem deleting them. I don't want to have any part of that, as I can't be supportive, then I'm not a good match with them.0
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i'm a special snowflake. mr rogers told me so.0
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I guess we all have to decide what is a good match. I'm a special snowflake too !0
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MarciBkonTrk wrote: »It just never occurred to me that what a person eats or doesn't eat would be a reason to unfriend someone. Which again comes back to the "different strokes for different folks."
I don't know where I draw the line myself, but I'm wondering if you've been exposed yet to people on your FL doing things that seemed unhealthy or which you felt you would be complicit in if you were to support it--or encouraging others to behave in unhealthy ways. Because I have, and I don't necessarily want my FL to be a place where I get into debates with people (the forums are for that!), but I also feel deeply uncomfortable if my silence or failure to spend the energy needed to explain why the behavior worries me is perceived as support for it. I get conflicted sometimes about the right thing to do, so I'm quite sympathetic to those who say that they'd rather have the list be filled with people on the same page about some basic stuff. (And, frankly, people get annoyed if you criticize their approach, so they might also prefer not having someone whose views are so counter to their own.)
I typically don't unfriend people for stuff like that (I just try not to support it by not liking it, so long as the person is not encouraging unhealthy behavior by others), but I also don't have issues that could be triggered and I also feel a lot more comfortable with that when the person is well above the minimum age for MFP, and worse when it's someone quite young. So for all of these reasons I'm quite sympathetic to the various approaches to the problem and don't agree with those who seem to be writing it off as mean or unsupportive. Arguably it's more supportive than not saying something, and anyway simply wanting to avoid moral dilemmas when interacting with MFP seems not unreasonable also.0 -
I've done the opposite--let go of two people who made comments on days that I was over by a few hundred calories. Guess they didn't see the day before, when I was eating 1100ish calories and had exercise calories. I view my diary as a weekly thing and if you're going to try and rub my nose in the days that I'm in the red you need to scram. I have issues with people negatively commenting on my food IRL and I will not tolerate it online either.
If anyone has ever unfriended me, I've been too oblivious to notice.0 -
Don't sweat it. People friend or defriending me all the time. Good riddance. ✌️
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obscuremusicreference wrote: »I've done the opposite--let go of two people who made comments on days that I was over by a few hundred calories. Guess they didn't see the day before, when I was eating 1100ish calories and had exercise calories. I view my diary as a weekly thing and if you're going to try and rub my nose in the days that I'm in the red you need to scram. I have issues with people negatively commenting on my food IRL and I will not tolerate it online either.
If anyone has ever unfriended me, I've been too oblivious to notice.
It's a double edged sword for sure. I don't post my food diary mainly because I really don't look at anyone else's food log. I prefer getting ideas and advice directly from the community rather than one person's preferences for daily food intake. But I'm with you, if 've been unfriended by someone I've probably been too oblivious to notice. I think we all have a lot to learn from one another. This is why I like MFP so much.
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Wow, four days ago I was diagnosed with the flu and strep throat. I was eating next to nothing (still not) but still determined to log it. I'm now wondering if I should keep everything private. I would hope someone would ask me if I'm doin' alright before assuming anything0
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I don't keep track of how many friends I have. If they leave it's their loss. Next! Why does what someone else does bother other folks so much. Control issues???0
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KrissyMuree wrote: »I delete people who eat too little. I don't add people to collect friends, I add them to click with them and to share similar healthy journeys. Those I can share experiences, tips and stories with. Sometimes you just won't click, and that's okay. I've unfriended a few people who think that a pineapple is a good lunch and logging only 900 calories a day is a good thing. Just personal preference.
Actually a pineapple ( I assume with " a" you mean a whole one ) is an excellent light meal. Weighing on average just under two pounds it has around 450 calories, is full of fiber and all kinds of vitamins and trace elements, 119 grams of carbs and around 80 grs of sugar. There are lots of lunches that are a lot worse and seem to be perfectly ok for the MFP crowd...:o).
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I don't think it's anyone business what others eat. That is not why I want friends. I am 76 and I find that now that I am older, I don't eat as much as I used to. I am slowly losing weight, not because I am eating less, but because I have changed my diet. Sometimes I manage 1200 and sometimes I don't. I think the idea is to encourage the person to keep working toward a better way of living, not deciding what YOU think they should be eating. There is some discussions about just how much a person should eat, not everyone can fit into the same box. To take a person off your friend list because YOU don't like their diet is a bit selfish and makes the other person discouraged. I think it is up to their doctor to advise them, not someone on the internet that doesn't even know them.0
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Wow, four days ago I was diagnosed with the flu and strep throat. I was eating next to nothing (still not) but still determined to log it. I'm now wondering if I should keep everything private. I would hope someone would ask me if I'm doin' alright before assuming anything
Thats easy you just say you are ill and then friends will say take care, dont stress, eat well as you are able and be patient in getting better. Whats the point in having people on your friends list if you dont make an attempt or several attempts to get to know them?0 -
And some people like I eat 1200 calories ( or sometimes a bit less ) because we are really short ( in my case under 5 feet) and because of age . I am going on 70 and being so short, I really don't need more than 1200 calories.azulvioleta6 wrote: »
And since I eat all natural food, I usually eat more than the average person who eats several hundred calories more, but indulges in high cal-low nutrition food.
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I don't keep track of how many friends I have. If they leave it's their loss. Next! Why does what someone else does bother other folks so much. Control issues???
Friends is meant to be a two way thing although some people are just all take. Why would it be their loss if they arent getting anything out of it? Its already been explained that people dieting in an unhealthy way can set other people off or what would be the point of having people on your list who want to diet in an unhealthy way. Starving yourself isnt oing to be a long term sustainable plan. Nothing to do with control, but easy to see why you wouldnt want to associate people with unhealthy habits.0 -
I highly doubt most people delete other people because they have a few bad days, or whatever. Like I said a few times - it's mostly about a pattern of behaviors.
I had a friend that would eat 8-900 calories a day. I never said a word about it. She started complaining about lack of energy. I pointed out that eating a bit more might help. She got really defensive. A few weeks later, she's posting about feeling really hungry, but not wanting to eat. I said nothing. Another week or so she's posting about losing her hair and asking for vitamin advice. I again, pointed out that she should be eating a bit more. Again, she lashed out. I deleted her. If that makes me selfish or a bad friend, so be it. I'm okay with that.0 -
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Why are we still here?0 -
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »I highly doubt most people delete other people because they have a few bad days, or whatever. Like I said a few times - it's mostly about a pattern of behaviors.
I had a friend that would eat 8-900 calories a day. I never said a word about it. She started complaining about lack of energy. I pointed out that eating a bit more might help. She got really defensive. A few weeks later, she's posting about feeling really hungry, but not wanting to eat. I said nothing. Another week or so she's posting about losing her hair and asking for vitamin advice. I again, pointed out that she should be eating a bit more. Again, she lashed out. I deleted her. If that makes me selfish or a bad friend, so be it. I'm okay with that.
well, that's fine. she's asking for advice. i have a problem with people giving unsolicited advice or defriending someone based on merely looking at their diary and thinking it's unhealthy. that is not their business.0 -
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »
"personality disorder" because they care when someone defriends them? that's a ridiculous and rude conclusion.0 -
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but i felt like he really meant it! 
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