Male body pressure becoming the same as women?
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sklarbodds wrote: »sklarbodds wrote: »sklarbodds wrote: »sklarbodds wrote: »Should have specified that I meant the miscers (not all guys) are much harsher on each other than women are on them But they are convinced that it is just women pushing the standards on them. I do realize it's a very specific demographic on that board and I have no idea what most men's thoughts are on the matter*. I just automatically thought of the misc because so much aligns with some of the things mentioned in the article.
I would think the opposite, and I was married for 15 years and single for the last 2.5
For instance, I'm 5'9" roughly and if any woman is 5'7" or taller I'm almost automatically not an option. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm really not. I can't grow any taller. In a world where dating starts with a profile pic, the chiseled jaw line that some guys have is a clear advantage. I happen to have a beard (it's often the first thing women want to talk about when messaging), but I have friends who can't really grow one (looks sloppy and patchy when they do).
My guy friends do say some things, but it doesn't ever feel judgy as much as jovial (maybe it's my perception?).
That's funny. I'm 5'9" and it frustrates me that all the tall guys seem to go for tiny women. I'm happy if a guy is at least equal to my height. I do, however, seem to get hit on a lot by dudes under 5'7". It feels like a fetish thing.
Do you give the 5'7" guy a shot?
Sometimes, but not usually.
Well I appreciate the honest answer
Sure, why lie? To make a bunch of strangers on a dieting site think better of me? LOL
But what about your internet cred?
LMAO No, really, that's funny... :disagree:0 -
From the other end of the spectrum, how comfortable are guys with dating a girl who is taller than them? I must admit, I've always sort of liked the idea, never been able to pull it off though. It's a damn shame there is no WNBA team in my town.0
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The height thing is interesting to me because it has virtually no effect on me, meaning that it's not a factor I consider when determining attractiveness. It takes no effort to be tall so I'm not sure why it is impressive. I don't know.
My dad is 6'3" and I'll admit that my husband is 6'2" and his dad is 6'4". Maybe being around tall people so long has made me blind to its charms. I'm more apt to get annoyed by it because my husband does stuff like put the lid to the butter dish on top of the fridge to get it out of the way and then I wander around looking for it (because, seriously, who would think to look up there?)0 -
FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »
To some extent, but I doubt many of they actually wanted to be 6'4". Most people don't want to be "different," especially in high school. I always thought 5'9" was the perfect height.
If only I had been 120 lbs as well... 0 -
FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »From the other end of the spectrum, how comfortable are guys with dating a girl who is taller than them? I must admit, I've always sort of liked the idea, never been able to pull it off though. It's a damn shame there is no WNBA team in my town.
I don't really care about their height. I have dated taller (5'11") and I was very attracted to her and generally, I have no problem with tall.0 -
The height thing is interesting to me because it has virtually no effect on me, meaning that it's not a factor I consider when determining attractiveness. It takes no effort to be tall so I'm not sure why it is impressive. I don't know.
My dad is 6'3" and I'll admit that my husband is 6'2" and his dad is 6'4". Maybe being around tall people so long has made me blind to its charms. I'm more apt to get annoyed by it because my husband does stuff like put the lid to the butter dish on top of the fridge to get it out of the way and then I wander around looking for it (because, seriously, who would think to look up there?)
Well, they should correct me if I'm wrong, but I think for most girls it's not so much "oooh, he's two inches taller than his friend, he's the hotter one," it's just about the guy being taller than they are. For most women I know that is a big dividing line, but you don't score a bunch of extra points for being eight inches taller than them instead of four.0 -
FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »The height thing is interesting to me because it has virtually no effect on me, meaning that it's not a factor I consider when determining attractiveness. It takes no effort to be tall so I'm not sure why it is impressive. I don't know.
My dad is 6'3" and I'll admit that my husband is 6'2" and his dad is 6'4". Maybe being around tall people so long has made me blind to its charms. I'm more apt to get annoyed by it because my husband does stuff like put the lid to the butter dish on top of the fridge to get it out of the way and then I wander around looking for it (because, seriously, who would think to look up there?)
Well, they should correct me if I'm wrong, but I think for most girls it's not so much "oooh, he's two inches taller than his friend, he's the hotter one," it's just about the guy being taller than they are. For most women I know that is a big dividing line, but you don't score a bunch of extra points for being eight inches taller than them instead of four.
Yeah, most girls I've talked to say a woman wants to have a man that they feel small...like they feel like the man if they're taller or something along those lines.0 -
To some extent, but I doubt many of they actually wanted to be 6'4". Most people don't want to be "different," especially in high school. I always thought 5'9" was the perfect height. If only I had been 120 lbs as well...
Yeah, I wouldn't want to be any taller than I am now. I already don't fit right in the back seats of most cars, have to buy extra tall shirts even when I'm super thin, and most office type furniture barely gets to a height that is tolerable for me.
Once you start hitting maybe 6'1" or so, there are a ton of societal amenities that stop working right. I hate having to duck down to see the light if I am the first person in line at a signal, so damn annoying.0 -
My boyfriend is 5'4" or 5'5". He's constantly crapped on about his height. He works at a jail and not only are the inmates calling him midget or saying he has little man syndrome when he tells them to do something, but even his co-workers give him crap about it. A supervisor told him he wouldn't be trained for the segregation module because of his size. He can take care of himself, he's not fragile in any way at all, so I don't see why his height is an issue for that. He's had girls in the past (before me, because he'd be enjoying a few new @$$holes if he did this now. lol) but he's talked to them on Facebook and flirted, then they see him for the first time in person and see how short he is an are completely unintrested in him after that. One girl even told him he'd be hotter if he was taller. He can't help his height. I'm 5'6" and don't care that he is shorter than me. So yeah I think guys have body pressure like women. Except women are suppose to be thin, beautiful without flaws (except the flaws make them unique and beautiful, but don't have any because they'll air brush them out) and men are suppose to be tall, muscular, and hot.
People just need to stop judging based on looks and judge people based on if they're an @$$hole or not. 0 -
sklarbodds wrote: »FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »From the other end of the spectrum, how comfortable are guys with dating a girl who is taller than them? I must admit, I've always sort of liked the idea, never been able to pull it off though. It's a damn shame there is no WNBA team in my town.
I don't really care about their height. I have dated taller (5'11") and I was very attracted to her and generally, I have no problem with tall.
My dad's 5'6" at best. My mom is nearly 5'8". I am 5'9" and my two sisters are both 5'7" +. They've been married 36 yrs now and are still doing their level best to gross us out (anyone up for a little *kitten* grab?![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
)
Genetics are weird. At a hair under 6', my husband is marginally taller than his dad. Our 14.5 yo daughter is 5'9 and 5/8" (we did the annual measure in early Jan), so taller than I am, and our 12yo son is pushing 5'7". The doctor says (warns, really) that he is likely to be -at least- 6'2". Our 11yo daughter is looking to stop short of my height, but still tallish and my 9yo daughter is probably going to be 5'6" at most.
All that being said, I've always loved being a tall female and have dated guys from 2 inches shorter than me up to 5" taller. Height was not a big issue (pun intended) and I hope that we are teaching our children to "judge" a person by far more than physical characteristics over which they have little to no control.
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Yeah, I'm not buying it. If it were the case then the amount of plastic surgery for men should be equal of that with women, clothing apparel in the same equality, and more men doing crazy diets to "tone".
The majority of my male clients either want to: get bigger or get smaller. 6 pack abs aren't even a request.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Yeah, I'm not buying it. If it were the case then the amount of plastic surgery for men should be equal of that with women, clothing apparel in the same equality, and more men doing crazy diets to "tone".
The majority of my male clients either want to: get bigger or get smaller. 6 pack abs aren't even a request.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Not necessarily. You're talking about how people respond to those pressures. Men could have just as many pressures and just as intense of a response, but have it express in a totally different way. The psychological reactions to "trauma" (if that is what this could be called, maybe "stressors" is a better term) in men and women is wildly different. There would be no specific reason to expect surgery, diets or clothing to be the way which men dealt with that pressure.0 -
So the whole debate on male media pressure is reduced to height - a feature men can't change.
That's it! I'm off to go watch Shopping Queen - at least there women spend hours looking for something expensive that other 'expert' women can snidely call horrific, cheap and an accident between a cheap date and a clown car.
Shopping King just won't be the same.0 -
So you're coming up with an excuse for someone to wallow in mediocrity?crystalflame wrote: »What if you're 5'7", have a jawline that is NOT classically attractive, and have naturally thin hair? Maybe you could bust your *kitten* to get abs, but those other things aren't exactly changeable.
Ok. Like I asked earlier, and the person I asked didn't comprehend what I asked... so I shall ask again.
Why not try to be the best you can be? Why accept mediocrity in yourself or others?
It also appears as if you do not understand what the media calls mediocre.0 -
I'm totally serious, I was wondering if anyone was going to get what I was talking about. lol.5. As usual I agree with dbmata - mediocrity is not acceptable - and it doesn't mean spending hours in the gym - it's being the best you that you can be. The best husband, the best father, the best employee, the best leader so when you look in the mirror - you like the person that is looking back.
No regrets.
Good man.
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Username is strangely appropriate. lol.It is literally impossible to be the best you that you can be.
It is no where near impossible to be the best you can be. Unless you're a slacker, layabout, etc. If you lack a will to attempt to achieve anything, then yeah... you are totally correct. I don't accept that in people though, without a doctor's note.
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Yeah, guess being rich just isn't good enough anymore. *rolls eyes*0
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The pressure on dudes is ramping up. It's far from equal, but it's increasing. I would rather prefer to let up pressure on everyone than to turn it up on the dudes. Husband judges himself hard in the mirror. I keep telling him, look man, you're already the hottest to me. We are doing this nutritious diet and gym thing for your health and mine, not to pressure you to look like an Olympic athlete. He feels judged because finding clothes in his size is very difficult. Recently, plus size women have been getting a lot of more nice clothes on the market, but for men the offerings are still very deficient. I feel that when he gets down to a 1x he will be much happier with his looks, but I hate that he feels bad about himself right now.
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »So the whole debate on male media pressure is reduced to height - a feature men can't change.
That's it! I'm off to go watch Shopping Queen - at least there women spend hours looking for something expensive that other 'expert' women can snidely call horrific, cheap and an accident between a cheap date and a clown car.
Shopping King just won't be the same.
I prefer watching RuPaul's Drag Race.0 -
Also, short girl + sewing machine = hem your own stuff. Magic
Yeah, I'm short. *shrugs* that's cool. I can alter my stuff sufficiently. 0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »So the whole debate on male media pressure is reduced to height - a feature men can't change.
That's it! I'm off to go watch Shopping Queen - at least there women spend hours looking for something expensive that other 'expert' women can snidely call horrific, cheap and an accident between a cheap date and a clown car.
Shopping King just won't be the same. Well I would say there is some similarity in that men and women do often want a body that is more dependent on genetics than fitness or diet. I have seen some people want a shape or body type feature that you cant just go to the gym for. And a man might be more likely to turn to something like steroids than something like plastic surgery. I guess the more I think about it there might be some validity to the topic its just really different. 0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »So the whole debate on male media pressure is reduced to height - a feature men can't change.
That's it! I'm off to go watch Shopping Queen - at least there women spend hours looking for something expensive that other 'expert' women can snidely call horrific, cheap and an accident between a cheap date and a clown car.
Shopping King just won't be the same.
I prefer watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
Can't get that here - I was watching the French equivalent of Shopping Queen on the elliptical for my warm up at the gym today - can't be bothered to change the channel and since the sound is off ... you can still tell that the women were bagging on the shoppers choice. Hilaeffingrious.
We also have the same show in Germany - I've used it once or twice to learn slang.0 -
Just walk it off.0
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »So the whole debate on male media pressure is reduced to height - a feature men can't change.
I wouldn't say that, I just think it's the easiest to quantify in a discussion.0 -
mustgetmuscles1 wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »So the whole debate on male media pressure is reduced to height - a feature men can't change.
That's it! I'm off to go watch Shopping Queen - at least there women spend hours looking for something expensive that other 'expert' women can snidely call horrific, cheap and an accident between a cheap date and a clown car.
Shopping King just won't be the same. Well I would say there is some similarity in that men and women do often want a body that is more dependent on genetics than fitness or diet. I have seen some people want a shape or body type feature that you cant just go to the gym for. And a man might be more likely to turn to something like steroids than something like plastic surgery. I guess the more I think about it there might be some validity to the topic its just really different.
Do men respond to social pressures about representation? Sure.
Is it something new? No.
Meet the Dandy.
etc...
Lookup "Le petit maitre" if you want some of the strange history of social pressures and physical affiliation.
The greeks/romans and their thoughts about ideal penis size.
Etc....0 -
Username is strangely appropriate. lol.It is literally impossible to be the best you that you can be.
It is no where near impossible to be the best you can be. Unless you're a slacker, layabout, etc. If you lack a will to attempt to achieve anything, then yeah... you are totally correct. I don't accept that in people though, without a doctor's note.
Strong selective quoting though...0 -
So you're coming up with an excuse for someone to wallow in mediocrity?crystalflame wrote: »What if you're 5'7", have a jawline that is NOT classically attractive, and have naturally thin hair? Maybe you could bust your *kitten* to get abs, but those other things aren't exactly changeable.
Ok. Like I asked earlier, and the person I asked didn't comprehend what I asked... so I shall ask again.
Why not try to be the best you can be? Why accept mediocrity in yourself or others?
It also appears as if you do not understand what the media calls mediocre.
How is that giving anyone an excuse? I also stated that people should be the best they can be, working with what they've been given. Unfortunately, the media doesn't portray that as good enough. Most actors are tall, and the short ones are made to appear tall. Most male celebrities and models have a chiseled jaw rather than a long face because that's what's considered attractive. Certain physical features are desired, and the others are shunned. This carries over into society - the height example has just been discussed at length. A very specific, narrow image of masculinity is projected that many men can't live up to, despite having a strong work ethic, responsibility to their families, etc. Being considered mediocre by society and actually striving for mediocrity are two different things.0 -
Why am I not surprised that the article is written by a feminist mangina.
"Despite what we tell ourselves, the male beauty standard isn’t about what women think men should look like; it’s brought onto us by other men."
Yep, that's our fault too, guys, along with seemingly everything else in this *kitten* up world.
So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
On the other hand, how many of you guys keep pushing yourself based on a fear of being left alone all your life, since you probably can't sit on a bar stool and just have woman after woman offer to buy you drinks? How many of you guys have had to sit around listening to your SO or gal pals swoon mightily over the pics of these guys, consequently being led to ask yourself, "What's wrong with me?" (I quit doing that before even graduating high school because it just seemed rude to my female friends or girlfriend).
How many of you guys have looked at the fact that around 70% of divorces are initiated by women and thought, "I'd better get in shape before she leaves me for someone else more attractive." How many of you guys have seen married women hitting on you (or your wife hitting on another guy) because you (or he) was in better shape than the husband, and ended up reaching the conclusion, "I need to get in better shape!"
I bet the author didn't even bother to ask a handful of his fellow maginas what they thought. I'm surprised he didn't blame the 'patriarchy.'-3 -
I'm sure you have- just not to your face.- and it's different than how women judge- but it happens. Regardless of your awareness of it or not.
Don't confue the vast majority of men looking at you as judgement. We're answering one question and one question only with ourselves.
Would you sleep with that woman? The answer, for most straight guys, is yes. Sometimes its a resounding yes, other times its yeah of course, sometimes its yes but maybe only once or twice. But make no mistake. We want to sleep with most all of you.
Judge you by your clothes? Nope. Hair color? Maybe 15 year olds do, but actual men don't care. How does it feel when I pull on it? That's as far as hair goes. Eye color...I told you men are not women. All the other stuff women are concerned with. Not my worry.
We do appreciate that you take care of yourself and want to look nice. But, men are pretty binary.
Sex, yes. Sex, no. Off, on.
You're welcome.
It is a judgement.
It doesn't matter WHAT I think about it- but it's still a judgement. She's either hot/mediocre enough to have sex with- or not. It's still a judgement.
Like i said- it's not the same- and I'm well aware of this but don't pretend it's still not a judgement. It's an out and out objectification about how fukable a woman is. And that's a pass or fail judgement. Don't pretend like it's better than a woman's version of that- which is typically done out of jealousy: it's still a judgement.
the disucssion wasn't about you're concern or not. The question was "do men do it" and the answer is a resounding YES.And I could care less, since it doesn't affect me. I know that people have likely made judgementsabout my shaved head, but what goes on in their heads doesn't change what I think our do.
I don't care if you care- they don't care if you care- you don't care if they care. All fine.
But let's not pretend "it' never happens."
It happens ever single time you step out side- you're objectified and viewed on your fu*kability.
I look at guys in the exact same way that other poster described. I talked no offense to bring "judged" in the way you seem to find so offensive.0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »mustgetmuscles1 wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »So the whole debate on male media pressure is reduced to height - a feature men can't change.
That's it! I'm off to go watch Shopping Queen - at least there women spend hours looking for something expensive that other 'expert' women can snidely call horrific, cheap and an accident between a cheap date and a clown car.
Shopping King just won't be the same. Well I would say there is some similarity in that men and women do often want a body that is more dependent on genetics than fitness or diet. I have seen some people want a shape or body type feature that you cant just go to the gym for. And a man might be more likely to turn to something like steroids than something like plastic surgery. I guess the more I think about it there might be some validity to the topic its just really different.
Do men respond to social pressures about representation? Sure.
Is it something new? No.
Meet the Dandy.
etc...
Lookup "Le petit maitre" if you want some of the strange history of social pressures and physical affiliation.
The greeks/romans and their thoughts about ideal penis size.
Etc....
I heard about this somewhere recently.0
This discussion has been closed.
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