We broke up because...
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She always hogged the mirror when we getting ready to go out!0
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she didn't trim her shrubbery0
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I shaved myself clean, then realized he meant our outside bushes! Whoops!0
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it was still a little rough on the tongue
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He had a low tolerance for pain0
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He considered water torture fun0
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she complained about the squirt guns but tied me up and dropped candlewax on me0
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It was a hanukkah accident, dude. You overreacted!0
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One day he said he needed to run to the store, then never came back.
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I was in a terrible accident and got amnesia
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He threw a shoe0
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Threw away my shoes. That is unacceptable, I like my shoes more than a sunrise.0
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She ate oranges in front of me, got on my nerves!0
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Hated sunsets0
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She had scurvy0
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I realized his handle meant he was a logical *kitten*.0
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He was too emotional like a woman0
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had a donkey fetish0
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She liked sleeping with her boss and his boss0
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He got jealous that I didn't pic him to fight zombies with me.0
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she never let me pet her kitty0
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She wanted to be in charge of everything!0
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She didn't like when I tried to have hair as gorgeous as hers...0
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She wouldn't let me borrow her hat!0
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She cant even go two days without a hat!0
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She ridiculed my for my hat fetish!0
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when she said she wanted me to bathe her kitty I got nearly clawed to death not the cat I thought I was gonna be bathing0
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He has an obsession with a kitty...0
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she smirks too much0
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