MY BREATHING IS AFFECTING MY WEIGHT

I have been using O'hare Air! You can get your very own for $295.97 per bottle. It is so pure and so refreshing and I swear it doesn't make my stomach bigger when I breathe it! You have to order it right now, I can give you the website for me to make a million dollars off of all you poor breathers!

Hi, my name is Bill.

(audience) Hi Bill!

I’m a breather.

(audience) GASP!

It all started when I was a child. Just a few short breaths now and then but got worse during my teenage years. I’d find myself breathing just about every night! I felt so ashamed and didn’t want anyone else to know so I just hid in my bedroom and breathed. Sometimes twice! (gasp) The first time I breathed with a girl it was like a drug and all I wanted to do was breathe all the time! During high school and college I would sneak around and breathe with women whenever I got the chance. Believe me, there are a LOT of female breathers in college! Then I joined the service and all bets were off! Being stationed in SE Asia you have access to all sorts of breathers. Long story short, I have finally settled down, got married, had kids and am able to control my desire to breathe. Now I can say that I breathe only twice a month or so and on special occasions like my birthday.

Bump. Just because.

You know, I drink water. I was starting to wonder if that was why I'm fat.

Probably, yes.

He is wrong.....! Breathing when drinking water, or if submerged in water is difficult, which means people breathe less. Less breathing = slimmer stomach . You just have to make the effort and stick to it and this group is here to help you......:o).
Nobody said it would be easy and some days are worse than others, but hang in there, you will be fine.
Good Luck !

breathing while submerged in water is very dangerous. people have died doing this. Just say NO


also, breathing air causes oxygen to go into your lungs, and oxygen is a highly volatile, explosive gas that corrodes metal and goes around oxydising things. it's best to avoid oxygen altogether. If you have to breathe, then just breathe pure nitrogen. It doesn't react with anything in your body, it just goes out again the way it came in.

Wear a corset. Problem gone.. You can't breath and your stomach looks smaller! EVERYONE IS A WINNER!

Thanks for bumping it up. This was fun.

I can't believe how any of you people can be supportive of this unhealthy lifestyle. And even make further suggestions on how OP can continue to limit her breathing. Do you know the nutritional value of air?! I don't. But my brother in law's friend's sister is a nutritionist and she says leaving this out is probably the worst thing you can do for your diet. I came to this site for support. I can see all you care about is vanity. I mean that OP? Those arms? You don't get arms like that by breathing air!

And if this were a troll, which it is clearly not. I would consider this, like, a comedy gold pyramid.

All that I need is the air that I breathe and as walking on sunshine didnt help weight loss Im not sure holding your breath will. Unless you die from overdosing on not breathing !!
Then weight loss can be rapid but your complexion suffers and you can get quite stiff....very unpleasant.
However , holding someone elses breathing in can be relaxing especially if they are prone to playing loud music at 2 in the morning or sleeping with your girlfriend. Hope that helps

I just discovered this post and have laughed all morning. My coworkers think I'm disturbed. I may be, based on research, the amount of breathing I do has most likely affected my brain.

Your breathing allowance automatically increases with each break out of windiness. This is because your stomach acts as a non return valve thus preventing any expelled gases from re-entering the large intestine. In turn this leaves ample room for more un-noticed breathing activity.

and I thought I was going to get some pointers on how to breath. geeeez, guess I'll just have to keep non-breathing... can anyone point me to a thread on how to breath.. it sounds like it might be a fun thing to do!

Breathing is overrated. I don't do it anymore.

Well, breathing is the NUMBER 1 secret to weight loss apparently...if you do it right. I must be breathing the wrong way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6VopIOc21k

Try breathing water. Our body is mostly liquid. This way it will just be absorbed in and you won't look like your stomach is bloated. I would also use gills instead of the mouth or nose to take in maximum oxygen . . .