I Do Not Want to be Thin

I had a check up with my GP recently, he asked me what my goal was, and I don't think I could have offered a more worthless answer to his question than if I had said "To love myself."

I said I want to get down to a healthy BMI (which I think is just another way of saying "thin." i.e. Not underweight, not overweight, and certainly not obese.)

I feel your OP was written to an adolescent girl.

aubrey_11_baker wrote: »

Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.

If you want to post your opinion about something and not have people reply, try the blog feature.

Oh, and to be OT, I want to be "thin" so doctors will take my medical problems seriously instead of scripting out the standard "lose weight".

jgnatca wrote: »

One can be overweight and very healthy.


That's not the same as HIAS, but as this graph shows, being slightly overweight is an advantage.

My goal is to achieve the overweight category and out of the obese range. My current BMI is 32 and all I have to drop is fifteen pounds to make the overweight range.

I am at a normal BMI now, but I want to get a little lower in the normal range, but I don't really care about BMI, I am focused on body fat.

That said, when I started this I was obese (over 30 BMI is not overweight, it is obese) and I felt and looked pretty bad. I still loved myself, yes, but I sure didn't want to keep living like that. There is plenty of evidence of how bad being obese is for your health. For the first time my fasting blood sugar went over 100, that was when I said enough is enough. I have all my great numbers back now, my Doctor is happy and so am I.

I also am no longer bothered by my hiatal hernia, the one that was making my life miserable when I was obese, no GERD anymore, not even heartburn.

There is loving yourself as you are but knowing you should take better care of yourself, then there is denial, and it is not a river in Egypt.

I'm going to go ahead and understand where OP is coming from, because it fits how I've always felt. It hurts me to see other heavy women (and non-heavy women) fretting over what their jean size is because they think that's what their worth is based on. I never felt the need to be thin or look a certain way. I don't have low self esteem. I know that as a human being, I'm pretty great, so I just sort of pushed all of the physical stuff to the side. I don't have high blood pressure (the reactions from the nurses always seems to be a veiled form of "Wow! You're fat and have good bp!"). I don't have diabetes or high cholesterol. However, I can't tie my shoes like a normal person (damn near asphyxiated myself trying to tie them on the bus when my gut pushed into my diaphragm), my feet and knees are in agony, I need help from attendants to be buckled into amusement park rides, and so I want to lose weight because I can't function well the way I am. I don't care much what size I get to. My main goal is to get out of the obesity range, but other than that, I'm good. I don't think OP meant to attack anyone for wanting a certain result. She's just coming from a different place.

PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »

I'm going to go ahead and understand where OP is coming from, because it fits how I've always felt. It hurts me to see other heavy women (and non-heavy women) fretting over what their jean size is because they think that's what their worth is based on. I never felt the need to be thin or look a certain way. I don't have low self esteem. I know that as a human being, I'm pretty great, so I just sort of pushed all of the physical stuff to the side. I don't have high blood pressure (the reactions from the nurses always seems to be a veiled form of "Wow! You're fat and have good bp!"). I don't have diabetes or high cholesterol. However, I can't tie my shoes like a normal person (damn near asphyxiated myself trying to tie them on the bus when my gut pushed into my diaphragm), my feet and knees are in agony, I need help from attendants to be buckled into amusement park rides, and so I want to lose weight because I can't function well the way I am. I don't care much what size I get to. My main goal is to get out of the obesity range, but other than that, I'm good. I don't think OP meant to attack anyone for wanting a certain result. She's just coming from a different place.

That's understandable. Many of us started out with the same types of goals. To fit in an airplane seat without spilling into someone else's seat. To not max out the weight on a water slide and have to do the walk of shame.

The issue is over a single paragraph. Insinuating that the only reason for wanting to be thin is because of society and stating that you have to do absurd amounts of exercise daily to achieve a great body. Those statements are wrong and offensive.

I don't want to be thin.
Even at a healthy BMI, I won't be thin, because I'm built large.
But I can be at a healthy weight, and strong, and fit, and healthy, and look great.

My only numerical goals are
1 - to get my waist below 34", because that's supposed to be the upper healthy limit for women. Smashed that already - currently at 31" & I've lost nearly 12" off my waist since the beginning of 2014.

2 - to get my weight into the healthy BMI range. I've got about 30 lb to go. I think I'd like to lose another 15 lb beyond that, but will assess once I get close, see how I feel. Am also planning on increasing weightlifting to be strong & lose inches, firm up.

I'm very happy with my success so far. I'm liking how I look, love how I feel, love having muscles starting to develop/show, etc.
.

Maybe you wrote this post with good intentions and to be inspirational to others that are like-minded. It may have went over well with your friends in person. On the internet however, your character is judged by text on a screen - the opposite of how we communicate in person which largely focuses on tone and body language and where there's greater opportunity to interact and clarify if words aren't quite right.

So you've got to be more mindful of what you write if you don't want "a pack of wolves" showing up. In a single post you made sweeping assumptions, bashed other people's goals, suggested people need to re-assess their goals if they differ from yours as if you're some paternalistic and wise expert on our lives, and made assertions that are factually incorrect. Pretty impressive to fit that all in now that I type it out, actually. So instead of getting defensive, consider re-reading your post from the perspective of someone that knows ZERO information about you.

Anyway, I hope you reach your "perfect size" and get the hang of internet forums. Meanwhile the rest of the adults here will focus on their own goals.

AliceDark wrote: »

aubrey_11_baker wrote: »

Oh sweet jeebezus, am I ever sick of this stupid stereotype! The VAST majority of thin people don't spend 2-4 hours at the gym every day. We're not making ourselves sick or miserable, eating only lettuce and running on hamster wheels. If you assume that you have to endanger your health and hate yourself in order to be thin, of course nobody would want to do that. It is a very convenient excuse for not making changes, though.

I'm considered thin by most standards. I love myself and love what my body can do. I eat WAY more and exercise less than most people assume. I don't live on lettuce or rice cakes -- ice cream is a food group in my world, and I eat REAL dessert every day (cookies, chocolate, ice cream, etc.).

If you're going to pull the HAES card, you have to remember that the E stands for every. It includes thin people too.

I have a different experience. I did have to spend 2-4 hours working out/being active (not always in the gym ) and monitor EVERYTHING I ate -- no eating out, no ice cream to maintain 130 lbs. (size 6) -- and many people on this post would not have called me thin. I am 5"7, but with short heavy legs and generally pretty curvy everywhere. It was pretty freaking depressing to work that hard and not look thin. So I gave up and gained a bunch of weight (which did not make me feel better either). It seems like 150lbs is around the point I can maintain with about an hour/ hour 1/2 workouts 6 days a week and a diet that lets me eat ice cream or a burger once or twice a month. That's a US size 10 or 12 for me, not even close to thin. But I am healthy and fit at that weight. I just don't think you can look at a person and say thin = healthy, fat = unhealthy. We all come in different shapes and sizes and that should be ok (but I would love to have long thin legs). My neighbor is thin, eats junk food all the time (small portions though), no veggies and never exercises. When we walk up the hill together she is out of breath, I can run up it.

aubrey_11_baker wrote: »

My point here was simply sharing how I feel. I'm not saying everybody should share my point of view. I'm not saying if that's what they want, people shouldn't strive to be thin. Just saying what's on my mind. Love yourself because I feel that's the most difficult part of the process.

OP, I am a bit confused you say here "I'm not saying everybody should share my point of view" but...

aubrey_11_baker wrote: »

If that is your goal, please assess why. If you are attempting to conform to pressures put on by the media, health magazines, and fitness nuts, then maybe you should take a step back and re-evaluate your goals. If you are attempting to look like them, chances are you will fail. Simply put, most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day to achieve a body like those we all envy.

You asked for people with a goal to become thin to reassess their reasoning. That is condescending, negative...especially when you state "If you are attempting to look like them, chances are you will fail.". You accuse " the pack of wolves" of being negative, the posts I read were people doing as you asked and reassessing their goals and stating the reasons they have for their personal goals. Disagreement on a public forum does not equal negativity. Name Calling, blanket false statements, condensending attitude does equal negativity.

usmcmp wrote: »

I'm "thin" by many standards. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin. It's great that you are working towards healthy, but suggesting that a woman only wants to be thin because of society is a form of body shaming.

Exactly. It goes both ways.