I Do Not Want to be Thin
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I started in the obese range, thinking I'd be too frail at my current weight. Now that I've reached my original goal, I have a new one. Currently at 23-24% body fat, target is 20-21%. I used to have the mindset that all these "skinny *kitten*" must restrict themselves and workout tons but now realized that I was just making excuses for myself. My profile picture is achieved by running less than an hour a day, imagine what an extra 30 minutes could do. Good luck with your journey!0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »All too often at the beginning of weight loss journeys I hear people say (mostly women) that they want to be thin. Or, I want to lose XX amount of weight and be a size X. Why is this their ultimate goal? Why isn't the goal, instead, to be healthy? Why isn't the goal to love yourself?
I currently weight in at 232 pounds (13 pounds less than when I first started!). My goal is not to be thin. I love myself and I love my body, but my main goal is to become a healthier version of what already exists; losing weight is part of that process. I'll say it again: my goal is not to be thin.
If that is your goal, please assess why. If you are attempting to conform to pressures put on by the media, health magazines, and fitness nuts, then maybe you should take a step back and re-evaluate your goals. If you are attempting to look like them, chances are you will fail. Simply put, most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day to achieve a body like those we all envy.
Love yourself. Embrace the changes that you see in your body and use that as motivation. Find the ideal proportions for you. Not all of us will look good as a size 4.
I do not want to be thin. I want to find MY perfect size.aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.
We aren't against your goal of just getting healthier. That's a great goal! You absolutely do not have to try to be "thin" or "skinny" or look like a fitness model.
We had a problem with you putting other goals down. You also made it seem like having a great body is beyond reach for the average person, when it isn't.
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I hear ya...I don't want to be thin either0
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »I was focusing on the negative comments here last night and it really got me down. Going to focus on the positive today - it's a new day! Thank you everybody for sharing opinions, good and bad. I'm really enjoying reading the good ones this morning.
It's a shame that you gave out something negative for other people to focus on. It's a good thing they took that negativity and turned it into something positive.
The introspection and reevaluation you asked others to have concerning their goals in your OP is actually advice you should take for yourself. You should reevaluate your perception of other people's goals and not let yourself be guided by the thin shaming that much of social media is ripe with these days.0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Lyndonbearsmommy wrote: »My goal is to be thin. I want to look good. I don't like the extra weight I carry. I don't like my larger arms. I don't like having a "muffin top". Why is it wrong that I don't like these things and want to change them?
My point here was simply sharing how I feel. I'm not saying everybody should share my point of view. I'm not saying if that's what they want, people shouldn't strive to be thin. Just saying what's on my mind. Love yourself because I feel that's the most difficult part of the process.
Weird. Because your OP you stated "If that's your goal please assess why..." You went on and on about it. Who's to say one doesn't love themself simply because their goal is to be thin? If that's how you feel, great for you. But that was not what was stated in your OP. Your message came across as if it's not acceptable to want to be thin. One doesn't love themself if they want to be thin, they simply want to conform to societal views based on magazines.0 -
perseverance14 wrote: »...over 30 BMI is not overweight, it is obese....There is plenty of evidence of how bad being obese is for your health....There is loving yourself as you are but knowing you should take better care of yourself, then there is denial, and it is not a river in Egypt.
Yes, my BMI is 32 which is in the obese range. I am aware of this. With a loss of only fifteen pounds I will be in the "overweight" category, which is what I would be happy with.
Like you, I've seen significant health benefits from my ninety pound loss so far including remission of diabetes, no more heel spurs, no high blood pressure, and normal cholesterol. I have vastly improved mobility, which I am thrilled about.
That's not denial.0 -
While it may not have been the intent of the poster to insult thin people comments like "most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day" certainly implies that one has to go to extremes or neglect other aspects of their lives to be thin. I have yet to read a "success story" where the person said that they went to the gym 4 hours a day. Some just went for walks and most talked about working out about 1 hour a day 4-6 times a week. I also don't see a big difference in habits with those that got to a size 4, 10 or 12 (The final weight was seems to be the person's self defined "happy" weight rather feeling forced to go to extremes). Whether they ended up a size 2 - 4 or 14 plus, the one thing they had in common was feeling much better, physically and emotional. It didn't occur to me that the size 4 women were ill-adjusted.
People who want to be thin (or are just naturally so) should not be made to feel that they don't love themselves and are somehow over influenced by the media. There is also a point where being overweight, despite a well balanced diet and frequent exercise, does have a negative effect on health ranging from sore knees and joints to pre-diabetes. This doesn't mean that good habits aren't valuable if you are a women weighing 200 plus but it does mean that being "thinner" (not necessarily a size 4) would help ward off potential health problems. (Or perhaps you just want to compete in a fitness competition or wear your old clothes - nothing wrong with these as motivators).
If a size 4 women were to write "I don't want to be a size 14, some of us just aren't meant to be that size, I don't want to spend zero time at the gym" I would also call her on her assumptions. Personally I'm just under 5ft 6, weigh165 and I'm very curvy. I plan to get down to about 145 and, of course, I will still not be a size 4. However, because I'm curvy people have always thought I really appreciate comments like "men need something to hold on to, only a dog likes bones etc.). These comments make me crinch. Can't we all lift ourselves up without putting others down?0 -
perseverance14 wrote: »...over 30 BMI is not overweight, it is obese....There is plenty of evidence of how bad being obese is for your health....There is loving yourself as you are but knowing you should take better care of yourself, then there is denial, and it is not a river in Egypt.
Yes, my BMI is 32 which is in the obese range. I am aware of this. With a loss of only fifteen pounds I will be in the "overweight" category, which is what I would be happy with.
Like you, I've seen significant health benefits from my ninety pound loss so far including remission of diabetes, no more heel spurs, no high blood pressure, and normal cholesterol. I have vastly improved mobility, which I am thrilled about.
That's not denial.
Sounds like success to me. WTG!!0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »I was focusing on the negative comments here last night and it really got me down. Going to focus on the positive today - it's a new day! Thank you everybody for sharing opinions, good and bad. I'm really enjoying reading the good ones this morning.
It's a shame that you gave out something negative for other people to focus on. It's a good thing they took that negativity and turned it into something positive.
The introspection and reevaluation you asked others to have concerning their goals in your OP is actually advice you should take for yourself. You should reevaluate your perception of other people's goals and not let yourself be guided by the thin shaming that much of social media is ripe with these days.
Touché.
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »I was focusing on the negative comments here last night and it really got me down. Going to focus on the positive today - it's a new day! Thank you everybody for sharing opinions, good and bad. I'm really enjoying reading the good ones this morning.
Out of genuine curiosity, which ones are you considering "good"? The ones that are solely agreeing with you?0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »I'll be honest with you... why do people want to be "thin"? Because you cannot be truly healthy and be fat. H.A.E.S. does not exist; it just doesn't.
You dont have to be "skinny" but our bodies were designed to be lean and strong, period. And that isn't something that requires 2-4 hours in the gym.
Edited to add: I'm not even talking about aesthetics here, just the fact that our bodies were not designed to hold excess amounts of fat for an extended period of time. Since your post seemed to focus on the "look" of being skinny.
All of this0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »I reread the op I don't find it offensive. It's asking some people to reassess why they are doing what they are doing. Nothing wrong with that. The people who have responded in this post I suspect this post wasn't written for any of u.
I found it offensive because it stated that people (i.e. me) do not have the capability to achieve our goals so we shouldn't aim for them. It's insulting, and very de-motivating.
I can do this. We can do this. It just takes motivation, and wherever you get your motivation from doesn't matter in my opinion.
If you are losing weight to be healthy, fine, if you are losing weight for vanity, fine, if you are gaining weight to be healthy, to look good, fine. If you're doing it because your mother told you to and you want her approval, that's also fine!
If you don't care, that's fine too, but there are probably not many people on here who don't care about their body.0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »All too often at the beginning of weight loss journeys I hear people say (mostly women) that they want to be thin. Or, I want to lose XX amount of weight and be a size X. Why is this their ultimate goal? Why isn't the goal, instead, to be healthy? Why isn't the goal to love yourself?
I currently weight in at 232 pounds (13 pounds less than when I first started!). My goal is not to be thin. I love myself and I love my body, but my main goal is to become a healthier version of what already exists; losing weight is part of that process. I'll say it again: my goal is not to be thin.
If that is your goal, please assess why. If you are attempting to conform to pressures put on by the media, health magazines, and fitness nuts, then maybe you should take a step back and re-evaluate your goals. If you are attempting to look like them, chances are you will fail. Simply put, most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day to achieve a body like those we all envy.
Love yourself. Embrace the changes that you see in your body and use that as motivation. Find the ideal proportions for you. Not all of us will look good as a size 4.
I do not want to be thin. I want to find MY perfect size.
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When I start my weightloss jouney The motivation was one...prevent my body. I was overweight and want to loose some Weight. I've lost 10 kg and after 5kg band now I'm doing The 30 days shred. I'm happy for this decisione but I want to build my body because it's not all about healthy but pur body image matter a lot(:0
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Each of us have our own goals. I agree with you, I want to be (stay) healthy. I don't believe you have to be a size 4 to do that. With that said, my goal is still in the "overweight" BMI (general) scale. I'm okay with that. I'm a woman, I want curves, I want to be happy, and most of all I want to be healthy.0
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That sounds like the excuses I used to make for staying fat too! NOW I love being thin! You can be thin, healthy and a small size and still love your body and your life. Being fat is not a healthy or happy situation or you wouldn't be on MFP.
Take all the weight off and see how much better you feel and how much more your health improves - then you will know what it truly feels like to love your body.0 -
Well said, I 100% agree with you. Thx Aubrey!0
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I think a lot of you are missing the fact that correlation =/= causation. In many cases, obesity is correlated with certain outcomes, but it's not a foregone conclusion that if you are fat you will get sick and die early. And just because you're thin doesn't mean you won't get heart disease and other illnesses that people associate with obesity.
When I was in high school, I was on the basketball and track teams and could run several miles a day, and at the time, I was also 80 pounds overweight, clearly in the "obese" category. That didn't make me unhealthy in the least. People saying HAES does not exist, or it's an excuse, are stereotyping fat people, plain and simple - and yet you criticize the OP for doing it, which is quite hypocritical.
HAES doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to improve your chances of avoiding major illnesses, ore even feeling more comfortable in your own body. But it does mean that health can be embraced for its own sake, not simply to achieve a certain size.
That said, I am at a size that I am not comfortable with, and I want to cut down on the correlations I speak of above, since diabetes, early stroke, and heart disease (and obesity) are prevalent in my family on both mother and father's lines. Whatever I can do to lower my chances of dying early like my dad or being on oxygen in my 60s like my birth mother, I am willing to do. So my goal is to be thin, but I don't think it has to be everyone's goal. I also want to lower the stress on my joints and back muscles so I don't feel like crap at 33. My ultimate goal is to be thin and healthy, but I am under no illusions that I will look like magazines or a Hollywood star - I'm well over that idea. I just want to be a stronger, lighter me.0 -
There's a difference between being obese and overweight. The chart I provided showed better outcomes for those who are overweight over ideal weight.0
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There's a difference between being obese and overweight. The chart I provided showed better outcomes for those who are overweight over ideal weight.
This is true. People too often group these together. From what I've seen it is quite possible to be overweight and healthy. The key eems to be not gaining anymore weight. If you are overweight and actively losing or maintaing your current weight then you are much more likely to be healthy.0
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