MY BREATHING IS AFFECTING MY WEIGHT

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Replies

  • barry1992
    barry1992 Posts: 692 Member
    Tried this approach....useless. The first major drought of the year dried up my water borne oxygen and I reverted back to oxygenated air. This caused my lungs to periodically swell every few seconds making me seem obese from the stomach up. Im now trying those little oxygen pills you can drop into fish tanks , taken with water they deliver oxygen straight to the stomach instead where it is easily digested. Farting activity does increase greatly but the compensation is you get the gym to yourself............thanks anyway
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Hold your breath for as long as you can. That oughta do it.
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    I can't believe you guys don't all get this right. You KNOW the correct way to lose weight on the No Breathing Diet is to shove something up one nostril. Not two. It has to be JUST the one nostril.

    *that's* the *secret*. You can thank me later.
  • barry1992
    barry1992 Posts: 692 Member
    This has apparently worked for some , but holding your breath for too long results in it going stale , a bit like bread. You then have to expel your stale breath onto a suitable bird table.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    edited February 2015
    As an experiment, I tried to cut everything but breathing. I felt very weak and unmotivated (not to mention bored), so I guess it's back to square on for me.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Um..
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    If you're in an overpopulated area, you're probably breathing in everyone else's expelled fat. Best to move to a more remote area where you're breathing in air with a lower fat content. Good luck, OP. The struggle is real.
  • barry1992
    barry1992 Posts: 692 Member
    dpwellman wrote: »
    As an experiment, I tried to cut everything but breathing. I felt very weak and unmotivated (not to mention bored), so I guess it's back to square on for me.

    Your clearly missing the point !! Breathing is not for everyone (mainly dead ppl I grant you). Its not a choice its a lifestyle !!
  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
    5 pages of comments and all of them have made me giggle - Good work MFP
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I just realized how old this thread is, but hilarious thread is still hilarious. I hope I didn't wake up my daughter with my laughter.
  • Unknown
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  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    barry1992 wrote: »
    I cannot access this video so my anxiety has increased causing multiple breathing activities. This in turn has increased my metabolic rate and I am now panic eating. Soon , due to unexpected breathing rates I will be obese. This is your fault and I am now angry , further increasing non standard breathing episodes. I am growing by the minute..........................POP !!! Now see what you did :s

    OMG! I am sorry. The old butterfly effect. You never know what is going to happen when you put something out on the interwebs.
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    edited February 2015
    Back in the day this gal probably made millions of dollars selling breathing work out videos to the masses...promising HUGE weight loss.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvy_uJxJ_-g
  • Angel_Grove_
    Angel_Grove_ Posts: 205 Member
    Best. Thread. Ever.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    i'm giving up breathing for lent for this very reason. i hear the saran wrap tricks works for this and in addition removes fat from the face.

    pic_closesaran_b.jpg
  • leonelr04
    leonelr04 Posts: 37 Member
    I stopped breathing for a few months but I turned this weird purple color. Not very appealing. I was in the best shape ever though. I'm slowly breathing again and have regained my normal skin color.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    allthecatfishies wrote: »
    CallMeCupcakeDammit wrote: »
    I just realized how old this thread is, but hilarious thread is still hilarious. I hope I didn't wake up my daughter with my laughter.

    This is true. And...

    Hi CupcakeDammit! :heart: :smooched:

    Hi Mister Universe!!! :heart: :heart_eyes::smooched:
  • barry1992
    barry1992 Posts: 692 Member
    skullshank wrote: »
    i'm giving up breathing for lent for this very reason. i hear the saran wrap tricks works for this and in addition removes fat from the face.

    pic_closesaran_b.jpg

    This is clearly the best remedy for excessive breathing I have seen :D Well done. Can I be bold enough to take your wonderful suggestion a step further ? Once wrapped in clingfilm can we not stick our head in a microwave and induce a sauna effect but switching on at a full 800 Watts for several minutes. Im sure this will open those stubborn pores and reduce blackheads. Please remember to take all possible safety precautions before you attempt this.........oh and please make a will first B)
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
    Joannah700 wrote: »
    After reading this, I'm not sure how this conflicts with intermittent farting practices. Maybe I should just give it all up and breathe when I fart, wait a second... maybe not.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/695972/intermittent-farting/p1

    INTERMITTENT FARTING - Genius
  • elephant2mouse
    elephant2mouse Posts: 906 Member
    This is why you're my favourite.

    I do hope your breathing disorder has slowed down. I've been there... Sometimes I slip up and breathe really deep breaths... The deeper breaths are more fattening than the shallow breaths... I might just have to try the intermittent farting technique.
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
    So do I need to do less breaths, but heavy ones, or more breaths but lighter ones?

    So confused still.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    It's more likely that your weight affects your breathing.
  • elephant2mouse
    elephant2mouse Posts: 906 Member
    If you breathe heavy, you need to do it sparingly. Everytime I breathe heavy I gain so much weight.. They say it's healthier weight but I just don't want to turn into a balloon and fly away
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    p4ulmiller wrote: »
    Have you tried the no-breathing diet? Basically, you take all the oxygen you need for the day, whizz it up in a blender and drink it. You'll find you don't need to breathe until the next morning.

    It stops you pooping properly,but that's a small price to pay.

    In fact, thinking about it, it stops you doing most things. :ohwell:

    ba ha ha ha

  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    mccindy72 wrote: »
    As a Respiratory Therapist, I can tell you that you should be breathing less sugar, fat and carbs. Try breathing more protein and raw greens and see if that helps.


    lol

  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
    Stop breathing...then problem solved.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    laurielima wrote: »
    mccindy72 wrote: »
    As a Respiratory Therapist, I can tell you that you should be breathing less sugar, fat and carbs. Try breathing more protein and raw greens and see if that helps.


    lol

    But don't breathe more asparagus, because the rest of us don't want to breathe it, too.

  • AkCyclist
    AkCyclist Posts: 1,200 Member
    If you smoke filtered cigarettes it'll filter out some of the air, clear your lungs of air, and also reduce your lungs in size. It works.
  • barry1992
    barry1992 Posts: 692 Member
    STOP this nonsense !! The original and very pertinent point was how not to breathe so much. Various methods stated here regarding different ways of breathing are indeed themselves....a waste of breath.
    I once stopped breathing altogether but was ok after my paying M.P loosened the gimp ball. However , this is not recommended as my lack of breathing on this occasion led me to wake up with a sore bottom. The reason for this is still in the hands of my G.P.............
  • kalin73
    kalin73 Posts: 595 Member
    Work on your posture
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