This is not a dating page...

Missy081113
Missy081113 Posts: 9 Member
edited November 14 in Motivation and Support
I joined this page for support to lose weight. Not 10 minutes after I signed up, I had a man hit on me. As soon as I told him I had a fiancé he unfriended me. I wanted to record my journey and help others lose weight not find a date. Please guys, use another site to find a date. This is for people looking for support and help on losing weight and getting healthy.
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Replies

  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    Put this in your profile and it will help keep those who are wanting something other than what you want from friending you.

    Problem solved
  • madrose0715
    madrose0715 Posts: 463 Member
    or you know...just ignore them and carry on.
  • amy_kee
    amy_kee Posts: 694 Member
    why should you have to put something like that on your profile?? That's ridiculous. People should just know better and be here for the right reason. That guy was a total jerk. He was the wrong one. Women don't have to publish an encyclopedia of unacceptable behavior on guys trolling the web site for hook ups. The guys like this are the wrong ones. Why the F&*k don't they put on their profile that all there here for is to hook up with women? That would solve it too, wouldn't it?
  • Missy081113
    Missy081113 Posts: 9 Member
    Exactly! Well said Amy_kee.
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    I just don't accept FR from guys... keeps life simple. :blush:
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    amy_kee wrote: »
    why should you have to put something like that on your profile?? That's ridiculous. People should just know better and be here for the right reason. That guy was a total jerk. He was the wrong one. Women don't have to publish an encyclopedia of unacceptable behavior on guys trolling the web site for hook ups. The guys like this are the wrong ones. Why the F&*k don't they put on their profile that all there here for is to hook up with women? That would solve it too, wouldn't it?

    But the only thing you can change is you, so either post on your profile what your rules for friendship are or don't. Either way complaining won't do anything. This person was upfront with what they wanted and left when you said it wasn't what you wanted so all in all I think he was respectful, and I bet if he knew from the start by reading it on your profile you would never have had to deal with him at all...
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    amy_kee wrote: »
    why should you have to put something like that on your profile?? That's ridiculous. People should just know better and be here for the right reason. That guy was a total jerk. He was the wrong one. Women don't have to publish an encyclopedia of unacceptable behavior on guys trolling the web site for hook ups. The guys like this are the wrong ones. Why the F&*k don't they put on their profile that all there here for is to hook up with women? That would solve it too, wouldn't it?

    It's not just the men who engage in this sort of behavior. There are plenty of male members on this site who have included a note in their profile that they are married/in a relationship/not interested in dating. I've also seen many more photos from women that violate the guidelines than from men, so it's not just the guys engaging in unacceptable behavior.

    Some users include a note in their profile asking anyone sending a FR to include why they want to be friends with the request, and deny any requests without a note. Your options are pretty much to either let users know upfront what you are looking for in friends, vet users from whom you accept a FR, or just deal with any advances that come along by deleting the member from your list. You can't prevent anyone from hitting on you in the online world any more than you can stop them from hitting on you when you're standing in line at the DMV.
  • amy_kee
    amy_kee Posts: 694 Member
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    edited March 2015

    kgeyser wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    why should you have to put something like that on your profile?? That's ridiculous. People should just know better and be here for the right reason. That guy was a total jerk. He was the wrong one. Women don't have to publish an encyclopedia of unacceptable behavior on guys trolling the web site for hook ups. The guys like this are the wrong ones. Why the F&*k don't they put on their profile that all there here for is to hook up with women? That would solve it too, wouldn't it?

    It's not just the men who engage in this sort of behavior. There are plenty of male members on this site who have included a note in their profile that they are married/in a relationship/not interested in dating. I've also seen many more photos from women that violate the guidelines than from men, so it's not just the guys engaging in unacceptable behavior.

    Some users include a note in their profile asking anyone sending a FR to include why they want to be friends with the request, and deny any requests without a note. Your options are pretty much to either let users know upfront what you are looking for in friends, vet users from whom you accept a FR, or just deal with any advances that come along by deleting the member from your list. You can't prevent anyone from hitting on you in the online world any more than you can stop them from hitting on you when you're standing in line at the DMV.

    Truth
  • _QueenE_
    _QueenE_ Posts: 459 Member
    You can't see a users profile from the app. So there goes that idea. Some dudes and gals on here be thirsty. Sorry you had to deal with that OP.
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    Trying to dictate proper behavior to others on an internet site is futile. All you can do is change your own. If you refuse to change what you do, and instead cry "others must change to accommodate me" you are just complaining.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    At least you aren't overreacting. . . .advice was place it on your profile page(for the OP)...problem solved. Couple of months ago 2 guys were walking passed my wife and I. One guy says nice *kitten* as we walk by. I stop and ask them to be a little more discreet and yes she does have a nice *kitten*. They looked at me and said"We weren't talking about her" BOOM! Okay, carry on.

    Oh, and my first sentence on my profile page is I'm married to my running inspiration. Wow, that was difficult.

  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    Trying to dictate proper behavior to others on an internet site is futile. All you can do is change your own. If you refuse to change what you do, and instead cry "others must change to accommodate me" you are just complaining.

    Then MFP should give users more privacy options if they are just going to let stuff like this happen.

    Don't add friends and you can have all the privacy you want! Friends aren't a necessity to use this site.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    Trying to dictate proper behavior to others on an internet site is futile. All you can do is change your own. If you refuse to change what you do, and instead cry "others must change to accommodate me" you are just complaining.

    Then MFP should give users more privacy options if they are just going to let stuff like this happen.

    Don't add friends and you can have all the privacy you want! Friends aren't a necessity to use this site.


    More truth!
  • MysticRealm
    MysticRealm Posts: 1,264 Member
    If I get a friend request from a guy I go onto their page and look at their friends. If all their friends are young, good looking, girls then I don't add them. If it's a mix of young girls, older ladies, men then I will add them.
    When I forget to look and just add I end up with those too. I just had a guy try to really start up convo's on the messaging and when I didn't respond the way he wanted he never replied and unfriended me.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    I feel like you have the ability to keep very private on MFP. Not only can you chose not to have friends, you can chose not to have a profile picture.
  • norie92
    norie92 Posts: 115 Member
    Unfortunately a lot of guys tend to think everything is fair game everywhere with no limitations. I'm not a feminist dude or whatever, nor am I a sellout but it gets tiring seeing other dudes making us look bad like this. Guys, there's a time and a place and it's not on MyFitnessPal.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    Trying to dictate proper behavior to others on an internet site is futile. All you can do is change your own. If you refuse to change what you do, and instead cry "others must change to accommodate me" you are just complaining.

    Then MFP should give users more privacy options if they are just going to let stuff like this happen.

    Don't add friends and you can have all the privacy you want! Friends aren't a necessity to use this site.

    Creepers can still send messages though. Doesn't matter if you friend someone or not. So actually, you don't!

    True and false. How would 'creepers' find you?

  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    arditarose wrote: »
    I feel like you have the ability to keep very private on MFP. Not only can you chose not to have friends, you can chose not to have a profile picture.

    But then what would provide the drama?

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    _Terrapin_ wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    I feel like you have the ability to keep very private on MFP. Not only can you chose not to have friends, you can chose not to have a profile picture.

    But then what would provide the drama?

    Good question.
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    Trying to dictate proper behavior to others on an internet site is futile. All you can do is change your own. If you refuse to change what you do, and instead cry "others must change to accommodate me" you are just complaining.

    Then MFP should give users more privacy options if they are just going to let stuff like this happen.

    Don't add friends and you can have all the privacy you want! Friends aren't a necessity to use this site.

    Creepers can still send messages though. Doesn't matter if you friend someone or not. So actually, you don't!

    Put your profile on private and stay out of any flirtatious threads and creepers will have no interest in you.

    If you have inappropriate pm's report them to the mods.

    Take control of your life, don't let others control it for you, and for peat's sake don't try to control others lives!
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    I don't get this. Here, you have the ability to state in your profile what you are looking for in a friend request. In life, I can't (I guess I COULD) walk down the street wearing a sign that says "Don't try to be my friend by saying my *kitten* looks great today".
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    norie92 wrote: »
    Unfortunately a lot of guys tend to think everything is fair game everywhere with no limitations. I'm not a feminist dude or whatever, nor am I a sellout but it gets tiring seeing other dudes making us look bad like this. Guys, there's a time and a place and it's not on MyFitnessPal.

    What about those who have met and married on this site? Should they have not done so!?!?

  • prettytomboi
    prettytomboi Posts: 15 Member
    @ OP-- AMEN!!!
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    _Terrapin_ wrote: »
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    Trying to dictate proper behavior to others on an internet site is futile. All you can do is change your own. If you refuse to change what you do, and instead cry "others must change to accommodate me" you are just complaining.

    Then MFP should give users more privacy options if they are just going to let stuff like this happen.

    Don't add friends and you can have all the privacy you want! Friends aren't a necessity to use this site.

    Creepers can still send messages though. Doesn't matter if you friend someone or not. So actually, you don't!

    True and false. How would 'creepers' find you?

    If you post in the community, anyone can see your picture.

    So. . . .don't post. And you have a delete button for PM's.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    Such people exist everywhere regardless of the nature of the website or venue. Treat those incidences like you would a cat caller, shrug it off, and move on.
  • mimikins2412
    mimikins2412 Posts: 25 Member
    _Terrapin_ wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    I feel like you have the ability to keep very private on MFP. Not only can you chose not to have friends, you can chose not to have a profile picture.

    But then what would provide the drama?

    and how would you discreetly brag about how hot your profile pic is?

    Seriously, there is a good reason for not posting photos if privacy is a concern for you.
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    _QueenE_ wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    Trying to dictate proper behavior to others on an internet site is futile. All you can do is change your own. If you refuse to change what you do, and instead cry "others must change to accommodate me" you are just complaining.

    Then MFP should give users more privacy options if they are just going to let stuff like this happen.

    Don't add friends and you can have all the privacy you want! Friends aren't a necessity to use this site.

    Creepers can still send messages though. Doesn't matter if you friend someone or not. So actually, you don't!

    Put your profile on private and stay out of any flirtatious threads and creepers will have no interest in you.

    If you have inappropriate pm's report them to the mods.

    Take control of your life, don't let others control it for you, and for peat's sake don't try to control others lives!

    Not true, you don't have to post in those *kitten* threads to receive unwanted messages.


    You must be quite desirable if you post nothing provocative, stay out of the BS threads and still get stalked.

  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    _Terrapin_ wrote: »
    amy_kee wrote: »
    You just don't comprehend it. You think this is just complaining? The guys behavior was totally wrong for the whole web site. He needs to go to match.com. This doesn't belong here and women don't deserve to be treated this way by guy who think they are an easy pick up. This is a diet and fitness web site and people should have the decency to act accordingly. He was in no way being respectful from the start. If he was, he won't have tried to do what he did. So, you must be under the assumption that his behavior was ok and it is a ladies fault if she doesn't explain on a diet and fitness web site that she don't want to be picked up. It was the guy's fault. Not hers. He's the creep that needs to leave. Our profiles are designed to be related to fitness and weight here....not will you have sex with me if I get to know you.

    At least you aren't overreacting. . . .advice was place it on your profile page(for the OP)...problem solved. Couple of months ago 2 guys were walking passed my wife and I. One guy says nice *kitten* as we walk by. I stop and ask them to be a little more discreet and yes she does have a nice *kitten*. They looked at me and said"We weren't talking about her" BOOM! Okay, carry on.

    Oh, and my first sentence on my profile page is I'm married to my running inspiration. Wow, that was difficult.

    They were talking about your booty, weren't they?
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    _Terrapin_ wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    I feel like you have the ability to keep very private on MFP. Not only can you chose not to have friends, you can chose not to have a profile picture.

    But then what would provide the drama?

    and how would you discreetly brag about how hot your profile pic is?

    Seriously, there is a good reason for not posting photos if privacy is a concern for you.

    Second part true. First part, I confused.
This discussion has been closed.