This is not a dating page...
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Women are being told to not post pictures, not post in the community, not have friends...like that's some kind of solution.
Why do we have to follow all of these rules to avoid being harassed?
I have a private profile, and no friends, because I prefer it that way. And I avoid Chit Chat forum because strangers flirting on the internet gives me the heebie-jeebies.0 -
stephdeeday wrote: »Women are being told to not post pictures, not post in the community, not have friends...like that's some kind of solution.
Why do we have to follow all of these rules to avoid being harassed?
I have a private profile, and no friends, because I prefer it that way. And I avoid Chit Chat forum because strangers flirting on the internet gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Most people are saying the opposite, post pictures, live your life, ignore the idiots just like you would in real life.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »I don't accept any friend requests, as that's not a part of this site I have interest in.
I did get a weird message nonetheless though from a guy who was like "Hey, chin up girl you're beautiful and you've got this," which was odd since I haven't posted anything indicating that I'm struggling with...well, anything, really. It was creepy and unwelcome, and I deleted it immediately.
That message apparently went to a lot of people.
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stephdeeday wrote: »Women are being told to not post pictures, not post in the community, not have friends...like that's some kind of solution.
Why do we have to follow all of these rules to avoid being harassed?
I have a private profile, and no friends, because I prefer it that way. And I avoid Chit Chat forum because strangers flirting on the internet gives me the heebie-jeebies.
It was offered as one possible solution and doesn't just apply to women.
The second you step out of your door, or get on the internet, you're opening yourself up to interactions with other human beings, which you have no control over. The only thing you can control is how you react to them. This isn't exclusive to MFP and it's certainly not MFP's job to police all interactions on the site.
And no one said a word about harassment. The OP talked about a single message. Just one. That's not harassment. Delete it and move on. I'm pretty sure most people on here have gotten a message or two like that. Just like most people on here have been whistled at or cat called. It happens.0 -
LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »
DON'T YOU TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!TheVirgoddess wrote: »I don't accept any friend requests, as that's not a part of this site I have interest in.
I did get a weird message nonetheless though from a guy who was like "Hey, chin up girl you're beautiful and you've got this," which was odd since I haven't posted anything indicating that I'm struggling with...well, anything, really. It was creepy and unwelcome, and I deleted it immediately.
That message apparently went to a lot of people.
The one that was sent to you was SUPER special. That's the word on the street.0 -
LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »
Out of curiosity, how many times have you asked men out?River_Goddess wrote: »Missy081113 wrote: »Thank you all for the support. I don't believe anything I said should have gotten me any attitude from anyone. I think that I will discontinue the support from this site. I do not need negativity in my life. Thank you good luck and God Bless.
I sympathize and that is why I don't put my picture up. I get lots of "How you doin'?" and "dang, giiirrrrl" etc... yuck. Unfortunately, it's the culture we live in. It's our job as women to deal with unwanted advances from strangers, and learn to avoid/get out of uncomfortable situations, instead of their responsibility to not make advances on people they don't know, or detect what perhaps might make someone feel uncomfortable. It's super backwards and it sucks.
I'm hoping the OP comes back and tells us the story of how her fiance approached her when he first asked her out. He's lucky she didn't flounce0 -
I think you'd find LoseIt more to your liking. Not much going on in the forums and you can set your privacy settings even higher. Although, I can't guarantee anything. But if you really want more privacy, I advise you to not use an actual picture of yourself as a profile photo and don't use your real name. This is the internet and it's our responsibility as users to control how private we want our profiles to be. I can't imagine if you have a FB account that you've never had an unwanted advance. This may be a fitness and weight loss site, but if you look around (considering you said you'd only been on here for 10 minutes) you'll see it's not solely about just that!! Also, if you decide to stick around, you can avoid the "chit chat" forum altogether by hovering on it and clicking the settings button, then unfollow. It's not your fault you were hit on, but he's not harassing you, he left you alone after you said "No". Smile, and move on. Good luck with your journey.0
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[howyoudoin'.gif]0
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Awesome thread is awesome!0
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Missy081113 wrote: »I joined this page for support to lose weight. Not 10 minutes after I signed up, I had a man hit on me. As soon as I told him I had a fiancé he unfriended me. I wanted to record my journey and help others lose weight not find a date. Please guys, use another site to find a date. This is for people looking for support and help on losing weight and getting healthy.
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Missy081113 wrote: »-- but it is a subtle way to bring attention to one's self/selfie.
My intentions were never to "bring attention to my selfie". Give me a break. That's ridiculous. Grow up please.
Seriously! What are you supposed to do....try to post a bad picture?
Just try to ignore the jerk people. I'd suggest you ignore friend requests until you check out their profiles first.
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meljustcole wrote: »I think you'd find LoseIt more to your liking. Not much going on in the forums and you can set your privacy settings even higher. Although, I can't guarantee anything. But if you really want more privacy, I advise you to not use an actual picture of yourself as a profile photo and don't use your real name. This is the internet and it's our responsibility as users to control how private we want our profiles to be. I can't imagine if you have a FB account that you've never had an unwanted advance. This may be a fitness and weight loss site, but if you look around (considering you said you'd only been on here for 10 minutes) you'll see it's not solely about just that!! Also, if you decide to stick around, you can avoid the "chit chat" forum altogether by hovering on it and clicking the settings button, then unfollow. It's not your fault you were hit on, but he's not harassing you, he left you alone after you said "No". Smile, and move on. Good luck with your journey.
Your solution is a competing website? Because their forums are mostly dead (aka the community isn't as strong as MFP's)?
If this isn't against the Community Guidelines (all hail!™), it should be.0 -
Missy081113 wrote: »I joined this page for support to lose weight. Not 10 minutes after I signed up, I had a man hit on me. As soon as I told him I had a fiancé he unfriended me. I wanted to record my journey and help others lose weight not find a date. Please guys, use another site to find a date. This is for people looking for support and help on losing weight and getting healthy.
Wait, is this whole thread because you were sad that a random unfriended you?
The comparison (by some of your white knights) to the behavior you describe to stalking and catcalls and offline microagressions is incredibly offensive. Man hits on you. You tell man you're not interested. Man moves on. This is nothing like being followed home by two men talking about your butt who only left because your husband came outside (to give you just one personal experience of mine).
Your gendered language is similarly offensive. Thirst follows transcend gender roles.
Please, use another site to offend people. This is for people looking for support and help on losing weight and getting healthy.0 -
Hi, my name is Sarah and I like to travel, long walks on the beach ...
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Alatariel75 wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »I don't accept any friend requests, as that's not a part of this site I have interest in.
I did get a weird message nonetheless though from a guy who was like "Hey, chin up girl you're beautiful and you've got this," which was odd since I haven't posted anything indicating that I'm struggling with...well, anything, really. It was creepy and unwelcome, and I deleted it immediately.
That message apparently went to a lot of people.
I got that too!!! I figured someone sent it to the wrong person...
I got it too! Suddenly I feel a lot less special!0 -
Unfortunately a lot of guys tend to think everything is fair game everywhere with no limitations. I'm not a feminist dude or whatever, nor am I a sellout but it gets tiring seeing other dudes making us look bad like this. Guys, there's a time and a place and it's not on MyFitnessPal.
I'm not entirely sure about that last part. When we're talking about the community part, where we've got friends lists, messages, and discussion boards, MFP is basically the same as any other common interest site, which, for years, people have occasionally used to see if real-world friendships, and even dating relationships, can come out of web-based interactions.
Granted, there are better, more polite ways to go about it. Someone who quickly friends, makes a move, gets turned down and immediately un-friends the person who turned them away is most likely a creeper looking to hook up. Friend requesting someone JUST to hit on them? That's a no-go in my book.
But, if someone's gone back-and-forth with another person on the boards, did a usual friend request and, based on that interaction, wanted to explore some offline possibilities, I can't fault them. It makes just as much sense as trying to chat up someone when the only thing you know you have in common is that you went to the same bar at the same time.
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »meljustcole wrote: »I think you'd find LoseIt more to your liking. Not much going on in the forums and you can set your privacy settings even higher. Although, I can't guarantee anything. But if you really want more privacy, I advise you to not use an actual picture of yourself as a profile photo and don't use your real name. This is the internet and it's our responsibility as users to control how private we want our profiles to be. I can't imagine if you have a FB account that you've never had an unwanted advance. This may be a fitness and weight loss site, but if you look around (considering you said you'd only been on here for 10 minutes) you'll see it's not solely about just that!! Also, if you decide to stick around, you can avoid the "chit chat" forum altogether by hovering on it and clicking the settings button, then unfollow. It's not your fault you were hit on, but he's not harassing you, he left you alone after you said "No". Smile, and move on. Good luck with your journey.
Your solution is a competing website? Because their forums are mostly dead (aka the community isn't as strong as MFP's)?
If this isn't against the Community Guidelines (all hail!™), it should be.
Well, that wasn't my intention, if I went against guidelines, I apologize. She seemed a little freaked about the whole thing and I figured I'd point her to a less active place. Pardon my faux pas. I came here, because I was bored there and thought she'd be more comfortable. :P0 -
binaryjester wrote: »I do declare I have the vapors. I love MFP. It's like the real internet...WITH TRAINING WHEELS!
Your profile pic is downright scary...
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LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »blankiefinder wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »I don't accept any friend requests, as that's not a part of this site I have interest in.
I did get a weird message nonetheless though from a guy who was like "Hey, chin up girl you're beautiful and you've got this," which was odd since I haven't posted anything indicating that I'm struggling with...well, anything, really. It was creepy and unwelcome, and I deleted it immediately.
That message apparently went to a lot of people.
Oh, thank God! I was wondering what the hell I could have done to make someone think I'd welcome that kind of thing.
I got that one too, and so did some other people I know.
And I thought I was special. You guys really are mean.
Bummer, I didn't get it
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