For a Fat girl, I'm a fox! (apparently.)???
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peachyfuzzle wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »I don't think most females understand exactly how scary it can be to ask someone out (because our society deems that it is nearly always the male who has to take the lead in courtship), and how that fear will nearly always force you to put your foot in your mouth when you finally work up the courage to do so. This is exponentially more true relative to one's own social awkwardness.
It sounds to me like he meant to say something completely different, and it came out extraordinarily wrong.
Yeah it was hard asking out women when I was 14. Not since I turned 18 LOL.
I'm 32, have been through dozens of relationships since the age of 18, and still have issues courting women. You might not have any social hindrances, but a lot of people do.
So would you say it is the fear of rejection?
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Honestly..if it was me I'd take the compliment, back handed or not!
When I was fat..I didn't get any compliments.
Now today.. I am small and petite and I still don't get any compliments (except for on here and those are still rare)!
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peachyfuzzle wrote: »I don't think most females understand exactly how scary it can be to ask someone out (because our society deems that it is nearly always the male who has to take the lead in courtship), and how that fear will nearly always force you to put your foot in your mouth when you finally work up the courage to do so. This is exponentially more true relative to one's own social awkwardness.
It sounds to me like he meant to say something completely different, and it came out extraordinarily wrong.
having walked into a shop- grabbed a a sharpie and straight up wrote my number on the I liked guys hand- yeah- I know "how scary" it can be.- it's not.
it's not that scary. worst she says is no- okay- worst she says is no you're ugly go away... so what- we are judged constantly as fkable pieces of meat- EVERY DAY. Our value is based on how good we might be at having sex.
Get over yourselves- we aren't that intimidating- we are just people- stop putting us on some dias and just strike up a damn conversation.
OP- guy is a douche- even if a socially awkward- unknowing douche. Should have told him way to shoot himself in the foot on that one.
You're beautiful just the way you are.
You will be surprise that some men just don't know how to talk to women. I don't understand why it is so hard either.0 -
I wouldn't have been offended, but to be fair, not much offends me, anyway. Whether he meant it to come out that way or not, I find the awkwardness rather endearing. Then again, I'm not like most women.
Carry on.0 -
Comments like that are the reason I tried to date guys that only spoke foreign languages for a short time frame in college. Mute is better.0
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Ahhhh should've been quicker and said "you're really cute too, for a moron"......screw that dude, he obviously has issues and I feel bad for the girl that feels bad enough about herself to go for coffee with him0
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Poor guy! That is an epic fail. I feel bad for him. I don't think he was trying to be a jerk. My poor hubby says stupid stuff all the time. I remember once when we had first started dating he said he wanted to take me out but didn't have a lot of cash so he wanted to see if just fast food and renting a movie would be ok. I said of course it would and I would just be happy to spend time with him. He said " Oh good! I am so glad you are a cheap date!" He makes less than smooth (foot in the mouth) statements about 3-4 times a month and I actually find them kind of endearing now.0
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I think he probably meant it as a compliment. He did ask to take you out. He's probably just awkward. Lol.0
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peachyfuzzle wrote: »I don't think most females understand exactly how scary it can be to ask someone out (because our society deems that it is nearly always the male who has to take the lead in courtship), and how that fear will nearly always force you to put your foot in your mouth when you finally work up the courage to do so. This is exponentially more true relative to one's own social awkwardness.
It sounds to me like he meant to say something completely different, and it came out extraordinarily wrong.
having walked into a shop- grabbed a a sharpie and straight up wrote my number on the I liked guys hand- yeah- I know "how scary" it can be.- it's not.
it's not that scary. worst she says is no- okay- worst she says is no you're ugly go away... so what- we are judged constantly as fkable pieces of meat- EVERY DAY. Our value is based on how good we might be at having sex.
Get over yourselves- we aren't that intimidating- we are just people- stop putting us on some dias and just strike up a damn conversation.
OP- guy is a douche- even if a socially awkward- unknowing douche. Should have told him way to shoot himself in the foot on that one.
You're beautiful just the way you are.
Yeah, go ahead, and get not only rejected, but laughed at to the point of tears by every single romantic interest you've ever had, and then tell me how easy it is.
Being told "no" is nothing, but being laughed at as though you were lower than dirt, and so unattractive that the thought of you in a romantic sense is literally laughable... that is pretty scary, and vastly most often not worth the headache.
Your whole "fkcable piece of meat" thing just serves to exaggerate my point. If you truly believe that you're only looked at as such, then it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you're a warm hole. In such a case, looking better than a troll is only a bonus.
I don't think I'm the one who has to get over himself.0 -
peachyfuzzle wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »I don't think most females understand exactly how scary it can be to ask someone out (because our society deems that it is nearly always the male who has to take the lead in courtship), and how that fear will nearly always force you to put your foot in your mouth when you finally work up the courage to do so. This is exponentially more true relative to one's own social awkwardness.
It sounds to me like he meant to say something completely different, and it came out extraordinarily wrong.
having walked into a shop- grabbed a a sharpie and straight up wrote my number on the I liked guys hand- yeah- I know "how scary" it can be.- it's not.
it's not that scary. worst she says is no- okay- worst she says is no you're ugly go away... so what- we are judged constantly as fkable pieces of meat- EVERY DAY. Our value is based on how good we might be at having sex.
Get over yourselves- we aren't that intimidating- we are just people- stop putting us on some dias and just strike up a damn conversation.
OP- guy is a douche- even if a socially awkward- unknowing douche. Should have told him way to shoot himself in the foot on that one.
You're beautiful just the way you are.
Yeah, go ahead, and get not only rejected, but laughed at to the point of tears by every single romantic interest you've ever had, and then tell me how easy it is.
Being told "no" is nothing, but being laughed at as though you were lower than dirt, and so unattractive that the thought of you in a romantic sense is literally laughable... that is pretty scary, and vastly most often not worth the headache.
Your whole "fkcable piece of meat" thing just serves to exaggerate my point. If you truly believe that you're only looked at as such, then it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you're a warm hole. In such a case, looking better than a troll is only a bonus.
I don't think I'm the one who has to get over himself.
How did I know it was fear of rejection? Because I have been there before. That is almost the reason why some men are afraid.
Look man I get it. I had girls make fun of how my chest is so big which is my most self conscious area. Does that stop me from still trying to meet new women?:noway: I would also think that everyone has been rejected at some point in life.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »I don't think most females understand exactly how scary it can be to ask someone out (because our society deems that it is nearly always the male who has to take the lead in courtship), and how that fear will nearly always force you to put your foot in your mouth when you finally work up the courage to do so. This is exponentially more true relative to one's own social awkwardness.
It sounds to me like he meant to say something completely different, and it came out extraordinarily wrong.
having walked into a shop- grabbed a a sharpie and straight up wrote my number on the I liked guys hand- yeah- I know "how scary" it can be.- it's not.
it's not that scary. worst she says is no- okay- worst she says is no you're ugly go away... so what- we are judged constantly as fkable pieces of meat- EVERY DAY. Our value is based on how good we might be at having sex.
Get over yourselves- we aren't that intimidating- we are just people- stop putting us on some dias and just strike up a damn conversation.
OP- guy is a douche- even if a socially awkward- unknowing douche. Should have told him way to shoot himself in the foot on that one.
You're beautiful just the way you are.
Yeah, go ahead, and get not only rejected, but laughed at to the point of tears by every single romantic interest you've ever had, and then tell me how easy it is.
Being told "no" is nothing, but being laughed at as though you were lower than dirt, and so unattractive that the thought of you in a romantic sense is literally laughable... that is pretty scary, and vastly most often not worth the headache.
Your whole "fkcable piece of meat" thing just serves to exaggerate my point. If you truly believe that you're only looked at as such, then it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you're a warm hole. In such a case, looking better than a troll is only a bonus.
I don't think I'm the one who has to get over himself.
How did I know it was fear of rejection? Because I have been there before. That is almost the reason why some men are afraid.
Look man I get it. I had girls make fun of how my chest is so big which is my most self conscious area. Does that stop me from still trying to meet new women?:noway: I would also think that everyone has been rejected at some point in life.
You should read the rest of what I said rather than stopping directly when seeing the word "rejection."
Also, I never said anything about it stopping me from meeting women, so there's no need to add that in there.
Regardless, my point is that people get extraordinarily nervous when talking to people who they are interested in, and they sometimes say really stupid things because their brain stops functioning correctly. Whether this is the case, or not in this situation, who knows. But, I'm more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt most times rather than completely write them off as dickheads right off the bat.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »"I find you very pretty for a big girl and I think you are really attractive."
(snip)
Why can't she be pretty for a Girl?
I think this implies that handsome lab tech would typically not be into those with two X chromosomes. :P0 -
KrysKiss87 wrote: »I was walking into work this morning and as per the norm, I ended up having to share the elevator with the good looking Lab tech that works on the floor below me. We usually get to work about the same time, so inevitably we end up sharing the elevator. It's almost become part of my morning ritual. Only Today was different.
I shuffle onto the elevator followed shortly by handsome lab guy. The doors slide shut and we start our ascent. Suddenly out of the blue he turns to me and says "Listen, I've been wanting to say something for awhile now but hadn't worked up the nerve. I wanted to know if you would let me take you to coffee sometime. I find you very pretty for a big girl and I think you are really attractive."
Say what?
Though I am flattered that this handsome gentlemen was attracted to my milkshake which does in fact bring all the boys to the yard,(because I'm hella sexy yo) I had to decline.
First things first. I am VERY happily married. I even wear a shiny ring that is an obvious statement of the fact that I am taken, Unavailable, Kitchen is closed. No soup for you.
Secondly, if by some chance I was not married, in what universe would this statement actually make me want to go out with you? Maybe the poor guy didn't know what he was saying, maybe he didn't realize that "pretty for a big girl" is not, in fact, a compliment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, because maybe I'm taking this to heart more than I should, but pointing out the fact that I'm a "big girl" (Which, thanks genius I already knew that) even after a compliment, is a surefire way to make me immediately not find you attractive. "Pretty for a big girl" is like saying "Hey there, I don't think you are sexy in general, but if I have to settle for less than I really want, you aint so bad!"
Why can't I be just pretty? Why can't someone find me attractive in general instead of itemizing me in a list of a particular body type. I am not at all ashamed of how I look, but to try and "Compliment" me by saying I'm not typically pretty, but for a fat girl I'm a fox..... Not really beneficial to my self esteem. Although I appreciate the compliment, pointing out my weight issue right after is kind of lame.
So in conclusion, Handsome Lab guy is kind of a jerk. Or maybe just really socially awkward.
Am I looking at this in completely the wrong way?
I don't really care about the opinion of some random guy because I am married to one who loves me for who I am and I am completely head over heels for him. But for some reason this whole thing just got under my skin.
Comments? questions? Snide remarks?
Are you kidding me right now?
First of all - anyone who references the song Milkshake, says "hella sexy yo" and also throws in a Seinfeld Soup Nazi nod in one post is freaking awesome! As for the incident in question, yeah Handsome Lab Guy was a little douchey but probably has NO clue he was being a jerk. I doubt he meant that as a backhanded compliment. However since you are married, it's whatever. I'd most likely have felt slighted just like you if it happened to me just like that but I'd chalk it up to some people are indeed socially awkward and you shouldn't let it get to you too much.
Very nice read - I like your storytelling style and like I said, those little nuggets you slipped in (perhaps under the radar of some readers, but not this one) were fabulous.
- PS forgive Handsome Lab Guy and think of him like a pretty flower arrangement. Nice to look at but not going to be too swift from an interaction stand point.
You rock, by the way.0 -
peachyfuzzle wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »I don't think most females understand exactly how scary it can be to ask someone out (because our society deems that it is nearly always the male who has to take the lead in courtship), and how that fear will nearly always force you to put your foot in your mouth when you finally work up the courage to do so. This is exponentially more true relative to one's own social awkwardness.
It sounds to me like he meant to say something completely different, and it came out extraordinarily wrong.
having walked into a shop- grabbed a a sharpie and straight up wrote my number on the I liked guys hand- yeah- I know "how scary" it can be.- it's not.
it's not that scary. worst she says is no- okay- worst she says is no you're ugly go away... so what- we are judged constantly as fkable pieces of meat- EVERY DAY. Our value is based on how good we might be at having sex.
Get over yourselves- we aren't that intimidating- we are just people- stop putting us on some dias and just strike up a damn conversation.
OP- guy is a douche- even if a socially awkward- unknowing douche. Should have told him way to shoot himself in the foot on that one.
You're beautiful just the way you are.
Yeah, go ahead, and get not only rejected, but laughed at to the point of tears by every single romantic interest you've ever had, and then tell me how easy it is.
Being told "no" is nothing, but being laughed at as though you were lower than dirt, and so unattractive that the thought of you in a romantic sense is literally laughable... that is pretty scary, and vastly most often not worth the headache.
Your whole "fkcable piece of meat" thing just serves to exaggerate my point. If you truly believe that you're only looked at as such, then it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you're a warm hole. In such a case, looking better than a troll is only a bonus.
I don't think I'm the one who has to get over himself.
How did I know it was fear of rejection? Because I have been there before. That is almost the reason why some men are afraid.
Look man I get it. I had girls make fun of how my chest is so big which is my most self conscious area. Does that stop me from still trying to meet new women?:noway: I would also think that everyone has been rejected at some point in life.
You should read the rest of what I said rather than stopping directly when seeing the word "rejection."
Also, I never said anything about it stopping me from meeting women, so there's no need to add that in there.
Regardless, my point is that people get extraordinarily nervous when talking to people who they are interested in, and they sometimes say really stupid things because their brain stops functioning correctly. Whether this is the case, or not in this situation, who knows. But, I'm more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt most times rather than completely write them off as dickheads right off the bat.
So why did I bring up my bad rejection because I did read your whole comment. I keep talking about rejection because that is what it is. These people just like to say negative things with the rejection. Why I don't know.
ETA: Your not alone for having tears over rejections. I have also. It sucks. I got really pissed off in the past for these things. I cannot say I know of other men who have. I sure it happens way more then you and me think it does.0 -
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Wow! Just wwooww! At first I was like, Oh snap he is sooo gonna ask her out. And then when I read how he actually did ask you out, I was like "WTF?!" Your feelings are completely in the right!0
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Lab as in - Is he always looking under a microscope?
If yes, there's your answer. Man has no social skills. He maybe cute and all that but who cares ......0 -
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Poor guy! That is an epic fail. I feel bad for him. I don't think he was trying to be a jerk. My poor hubby says stupid stuff all the time. I remember once when we had first started dating he said he wanted to take me out but didn't have a lot of cash so he wanted to see if just fast food and renting a movie would be ok. I said of course it would and I would just be happy to spend time with him. He said " Oh good! I am so glad you are a cheap date!" He makes less than smooth (foot in the mouth) statements about 3-4 times a month and I actually find them kind of endearing now.
lol...mine does that, too. He once got me a gift card to a spa and said "I know you could use a manicure." I totally knew he meant 'I know you could always use this because you love getting a manicure,' but that's not how it came out. He always get this cute shade of red and sometimes even stutters. It make me smile to know I can still make him nervous.
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Yeah, I'm thinking he didn't mean to say it the way he did. The way he opened up his conversation tells me he was having trouble asking you out to begin with. Maybe he doesn't normally date big girls and it came out without him meaning to say it. If I was judged on everything I've ever said then I would be in a world of trouble all the time! I put my foot in my mouth a lot. I chalk it up to spending to much time in my head and being extremely introverted.
I'm glad you were gracious in your reply.0
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